It all started in 2007. Geelong, the eventual premiers over a Port Adelaide team that was clearly overwhelmed with the situation, faltered and wavered at the hands of less panicky and spooked opponents. In Round 1, Geelong had no answers to a Bulldogs outfit lacking key cogs in Chris Grant and Brian Lake. Johnno kicked 8 goals on highly touted oppoent Matthew Scarlett, and Geelong were repeatedly left without an answer as the Bulldogs overthrown the stunned outfit. Luke Darcy and Robert Murphy played their first games since knee reconstructions, whilst Akermanis also posted his first game in the red, white and blue. It was a day to forget for Geelong fans, although little did their fans realise that a close loss (20 points) to a team of extra mental fortitude would prove to be a regular occurance over the following years.
Round 4 2007, Geelong v Hawthorn. Luke Hodge, a player with anti-Geelong Kryptonite pumping through his veins, was found to be the difference, notching up 29 disposals and 11 marks, in a performance synonymous with many to come against the twitchy Geelong outfit. Perennial spud Mark Williams topped all goal scorers with 3 majors, which, although unspectacular, was enough to overcome a Geelong outfit by 4 points, a Geelong outfit acting like a deer caught in the headlights. Ironically, Geelong have been caught in the headlights ever since, only taking the time to glance away when an easy kill is within distance.
The next round of the 2007 season proved to be yet another example of Geelong tripping over their feet, this time falling to a shinboner outfit harbouring will to win whilst Geelong were (and still are) harbouring shakes not unlike those seen in Michael J Fox. It was another narrow loss, this time under 3 goals (16 points), and lo and behold, at the Cattery; Geelong's supposed fortress, Skilled Stadium. Rated rank underdogs, the Kangaroos were harder, faster, stronger, and had desire to burn. Geelong however, had about as much momentum as an ant travelling at 1m/s. Cameron "choking personified" Mooney managed to miss a set shot with minutes remaining, sealing a fate that the Cats of today have grown accustomed to.
Round 21 2007, Geelong have sealed up the minor premiership. Coming up against eventual runners up Port Adelaide, they were cocky. They were confident. But this confidence was misplaced - Geelong managed to once again do their best impression of Chocko after the 2004 Grand Final, losing by a narrow 5 points at the Cattery fortress. Geelong had no answer to the Cornes brothers, both knocking up a cool 32 disposals against the much revered Geelong midfield. 3 goals down at three quarter time, Geelong put forward a run that proved to be insufficient. In fact, as soon as the run began, a narrow Geelong defeat was merely a foregone conclusion.
Skip forward a few weeks to the 2007 Preliminary Final between Geelong and Collingwood. Geelong were hot favourites; minor premiers, coming off a 106 point win in a one-sided Qualifying Final affair. Most expected an easy Geelong win, paving the path for a Grand Final appearance. Although the latter statement proved true, the former was contradicted due to a Collingwood outfit with nothing to lose. In front of 98000 fans, Geelong stood shocked, much alike Kepler Bradley when faced with an opposing player. It was a 5 point loss for the Pies, although they confirmed what before was hypothesised; Geelong handle pressure about as well as Tambling handles the football.
Come the 2008 AFL Season, many were expecting Geelong to brutally overrun the competition, which in some ways, they did. But as the saying goes, a leopard doesn't change its spots, and this time it was Clarko's Hawks who proved to be the question that Geelong just couldn't answer. But it was in the Indigenous Round, Round 9, that Collingwood showed that "if it bleeds, we can kill it." 86 points was the final margin - Didak proved instrumental against Geelong captain Tom Harley (aka Richie Vandenberg Mk II), notching up 26 disposals and 2 goals. Geelong were insipid - slow, lumbering, incapable. All traits known to be possessed by Nick Gill, all traits known to be possessed by Geelong in big games.
Round 17 - the apprentice in Hawthorn comes up against the master in Geelong. For those who aren't in the know, what came next was periodic, predictable and never in doubt. Geelong barely scraped out a win - 11 points was the final margin. Then came the Grand Final, Hawthorn once again up against a Geelong outfit looking to go back to back. It is fair to assume that after a 119-point drubbing in their previous Grand Final and an 11-point win against their opponents in their previous encounter, Geelong waltzed in expecting a walk over. It was fitting, that in none other than the premiership quarter, Hawthorn showed what it took to win a premiership against decent opposition, something Geelong has been incapable of doing since the stone age. Cam Mooney's miss just before half time epitomised the Geelong performance, predictably in a big game; like a deer caught in the headlights. Geelong were shocked - 23 behinds, a direct product of their inability to cope with sufficient pressure. Geelong players were hearing footsteps all game, fumbling the ball, and just generally ****ing up in front of a crowd exceeding the 100,000 mark. Inspirational Hawk Luke Hodge attained the Norm Smith, to the dismay of little bald Gazza, who seemed to be more disappointed about missing out on the individual accolade than losing the Grand Final in unforgettable circumstances. But, one could say that he is forgiven; after all, he does have one premiership medal, a premiership medal garnered against a side not unlike a country U12's outfit.
Fast forward to today, and one can surely forgive a Geelong supporter for feeling a bit like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day. But first, let me set the scene for the kids of tomorrow who will surely look back upon this post as a source of gospel. Round 14, 2009. Two teams sit unbeaten - St. Kilda (1st position) and Geelong (2nd position). Geelong entered the game as favourites, priced at $1.55 compared to St. Kilda's $2.45. Noone believed that the Saints were going to win, spouting fallacious rhetoric such as "They are yet to face decent opposition", "They don't stand a chance against Geelong" and constant references to 1966 and The Streak DVD. Pressure was on St. Kilda to prove themselves as premiership contenders, whilst pressure was on Geelong to reaffirm their status as the competition front-runners. The former dealt with the pressure sufficiently; the latter faltered, instead reaffirming their status as handbaggers. The seasoned tipster would have lent towards St. Kilda, merely due to Geelong's proven inability to perform on the big stage; the average VB/XXXX sipping punter sporting a flanno and mullet would have lent towards the Cats, due to their overall form in the past seasons. The game started and St. Kilda reacted accordingly and flew out of the blocks, whilst Geelong sat bewildered at the starting line, scratching their heads and shouting "what the ****...". St. Kilda were five goals ahead before the umpires decided that they had better shift the momentum before a blowout ensured, and thus a goal was gifted to Gary "handpass it to me, handpass it to me" Ablett. Much maligned ruck Michael Gardiner grabbed Geelong by the scruff, opting for no lube as he headed towards a 4 goal performance, with his final major proving to be the gamewinner, kicked after a gutsy Leo Barry-esque mark in the dying minute. He calmly slotted the sealer, whilst Geelong stood stunned, scratching their behinds with the Benny Hill theme running through their heads. An empty feeling of deja-vu is just as much of Geelongs culture as ninth place is for Richmond.
It has been endemic since 2007, ingrained in Geelong footy culture for years to come. Kids will look back through the ages and remark at the Geelong side of the new millenium's tendency to perfom like Pierce Brosnan in Mrs Doubtfire. Cats fans can only sit aghast, shocked that their only weakness is a byproduct of their early success. Not only that, but said weakness is now robbing them of any future success. An undesirable situation, and one can only wonder when Geelong will finally buck the trend and spit out the food caught in their throats, or if said piece of food will stay lodged in their trachea for generations to come.
Round 4 2007, Geelong v Hawthorn. Luke Hodge, a player with anti-Geelong Kryptonite pumping through his veins, was found to be the difference, notching up 29 disposals and 11 marks, in a performance synonymous with many to come against the twitchy Geelong outfit. Perennial spud Mark Williams topped all goal scorers with 3 majors, which, although unspectacular, was enough to overcome a Geelong outfit by 4 points, a Geelong outfit acting like a deer caught in the headlights. Ironically, Geelong have been caught in the headlights ever since, only taking the time to glance away when an easy kill is within distance.
The next round of the 2007 season proved to be yet another example of Geelong tripping over their feet, this time falling to a shinboner outfit harbouring will to win whilst Geelong were (and still are) harbouring shakes not unlike those seen in Michael J Fox. It was another narrow loss, this time under 3 goals (16 points), and lo and behold, at the Cattery; Geelong's supposed fortress, Skilled Stadium. Rated rank underdogs, the Kangaroos were harder, faster, stronger, and had desire to burn. Geelong however, had about as much momentum as an ant travelling at 1m/s. Cameron "choking personified" Mooney managed to miss a set shot with minutes remaining, sealing a fate that the Cats of today have grown accustomed to.
Round 21 2007, Geelong have sealed up the minor premiership. Coming up against eventual runners up Port Adelaide, they were cocky. They were confident. But this confidence was misplaced - Geelong managed to once again do their best impression of Chocko after the 2004 Grand Final, losing by a narrow 5 points at the Cattery fortress. Geelong had no answer to the Cornes brothers, both knocking up a cool 32 disposals against the much revered Geelong midfield. 3 goals down at three quarter time, Geelong put forward a run that proved to be insufficient. In fact, as soon as the run began, a narrow Geelong defeat was merely a foregone conclusion.
Skip forward a few weeks to the 2007 Preliminary Final between Geelong and Collingwood. Geelong were hot favourites; minor premiers, coming off a 106 point win in a one-sided Qualifying Final affair. Most expected an easy Geelong win, paving the path for a Grand Final appearance. Although the latter statement proved true, the former was contradicted due to a Collingwood outfit with nothing to lose. In front of 98000 fans, Geelong stood shocked, much alike Kepler Bradley when faced with an opposing player. It was a 5 point loss for the Pies, although they confirmed what before was hypothesised; Geelong handle pressure about as well as Tambling handles the football.
Come the 2008 AFL Season, many were expecting Geelong to brutally overrun the competition, which in some ways, they did. But as the saying goes, a leopard doesn't change its spots, and this time it was Clarko's Hawks who proved to be the question that Geelong just couldn't answer. But it was in the Indigenous Round, Round 9, that Collingwood showed that "if it bleeds, we can kill it." 86 points was the final margin - Didak proved instrumental against Geelong captain Tom Harley (aka Richie Vandenberg Mk II), notching up 26 disposals and 2 goals. Geelong were insipid - slow, lumbering, incapable. All traits known to be possessed by Nick Gill, all traits known to be possessed by Geelong in big games.
Round 17 - the apprentice in Hawthorn comes up against the master in Geelong. For those who aren't in the know, what came next was periodic, predictable and never in doubt. Geelong barely scraped out a win - 11 points was the final margin. Then came the Grand Final, Hawthorn once again up against a Geelong outfit looking to go back to back. It is fair to assume that after a 119-point drubbing in their previous Grand Final and an 11-point win against their opponents in their previous encounter, Geelong waltzed in expecting a walk over. It was fitting, that in none other than the premiership quarter, Hawthorn showed what it took to win a premiership against decent opposition, something Geelong has been incapable of doing since the stone age. Cam Mooney's miss just before half time epitomised the Geelong performance, predictably in a big game; like a deer caught in the headlights. Geelong were shocked - 23 behinds, a direct product of their inability to cope with sufficient pressure. Geelong players were hearing footsteps all game, fumbling the ball, and just generally ****ing up in front of a crowd exceeding the 100,000 mark. Inspirational Hawk Luke Hodge attained the Norm Smith, to the dismay of little bald Gazza, who seemed to be more disappointed about missing out on the individual accolade than losing the Grand Final in unforgettable circumstances. But, one could say that he is forgiven; after all, he does have one premiership medal, a premiership medal garnered against a side not unlike a country U12's outfit.
Fast forward to today, and one can surely forgive a Geelong supporter for feeling a bit like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day. But first, let me set the scene for the kids of tomorrow who will surely look back upon this post as a source of gospel. Round 14, 2009. Two teams sit unbeaten - St. Kilda (1st position) and Geelong (2nd position). Geelong entered the game as favourites, priced at $1.55 compared to St. Kilda's $2.45. Noone believed that the Saints were going to win, spouting fallacious rhetoric such as "They are yet to face decent opposition", "They don't stand a chance against Geelong" and constant references to 1966 and The Streak DVD. Pressure was on St. Kilda to prove themselves as premiership contenders, whilst pressure was on Geelong to reaffirm their status as the competition front-runners. The former dealt with the pressure sufficiently; the latter faltered, instead reaffirming their status as handbaggers. The seasoned tipster would have lent towards St. Kilda, merely due to Geelong's proven inability to perform on the big stage; the average VB/XXXX sipping punter sporting a flanno and mullet would have lent towards the Cats, due to their overall form in the past seasons. The game started and St. Kilda reacted accordingly and flew out of the blocks, whilst Geelong sat bewildered at the starting line, scratching their heads and shouting "what the ****...". St. Kilda were five goals ahead before the umpires decided that they had better shift the momentum before a blowout ensured, and thus a goal was gifted to Gary "handpass it to me, handpass it to me" Ablett. Much maligned ruck Michael Gardiner grabbed Geelong by the scruff, opting for no lube as he headed towards a 4 goal performance, with his final major proving to be the gamewinner, kicked after a gutsy Leo Barry-esque mark in the dying minute. He calmly slotted the sealer, whilst Geelong stood stunned, scratching their behinds with the Benny Hill theme running through their heads. An empty feeling of deja-vu is just as much of Geelongs culture as ninth place is for Richmond.
It has been endemic since 2007, ingrained in Geelong footy culture for years to come. Kids will look back through the ages and remark at the Geelong side of the new millenium's tendency to perfom like Pierce Brosnan in Mrs Doubtfire. Cats fans can only sit aghast, shocked that their only weakness is a byproduct of their early success. Not only that, but said weakness is now robbing them of any future success. An undesirable situation, and one can only wonder when Geelong will finally buck the trend and spit out the food caught in their throats, or if said piece of food will stay lodged in their trachea for generations to come.
