Guys and dating

[kristin5]

A question for the populace of BigFooty:

Are all guys creeps, or is it the affect I have on them???


I'll try and keep the story brief: I met this guy a couple of months ago at a pub where he works. Chatted a bit, but he appeared to be shy. He told me all his work shifts and different things about himself, indicating that he may be interested in me. Eventually, he gave me his number, so of course I called him (well, sms'ed actually - I wussed out!) and asked if he wanted to catch up. He replied yes and asked when was best, so I told him. Didn't hear anything back for 2 weeks, so on Saturday night I wrote to him again (see what the world is coming to, when a girl has to do the chasing?! Not good, but fortunately I'm not too shy!) asking if he was doing anything. He responded straight away saying no, what was I doing, so we arranged to meet up. Anyway, he was going to meet me at a pub, but would be there a bit later than first thought, oh and by the way "I've got a girlfriend". WHAT IS WITH THAT???

Why would a guy give a girl his number, say he wanted to catch up with her, and then drop the bombshell? I don't see the point! If a boyfriend of mine went around giving girls his number, I'd be pretty mad...but is this normal? Have I been off the single scene too long, and this is what to expect?

C'mon people - let me know your thoughts on dating and the single scene in general.

 

[BluesBabe666]

Get used to that, its very common!!! I'm sure not all guys are creeps but alot are!!!

 

[Sly77]

Lesson #1: Guys are only interested in one thing, and will go out of their way to ensure the constant supply of that. Its all a game to them remember.

Lesson #2: If its a guy you have only just met DONT and I repeat DONT, make more than one approach without him making any effort in between - this gives him the impression that he's a sex god and you'll always come running. If you're going to make first contact - make sure you leave it as an open ended suggestion and make him make the plans.

And I think might be giving away too many of my secrects here

As for is this an indication of the single scene - pretty much yes!

 

[Watto]

It would be naive to think we all are creeps. How can someone say that without knowing us?

 

[thommo16]

Yeah I'm holding off on the whole dating thing. The last guy I dated turned all weird on me. "I'm going to lose weight for you", "I'm going to stop smoking for you", "I bought new clothes to wear for you tonight", "I've never felt this way about you before"....all this after two weeks of knowing each other. He was always freaking out that he was doing the wrong thing.....totally freaked me out

 

[Sly77]

Oh forgot to add to Lesson 2 that any decent guy with honest intentions (yes they exist - dont ask me where the single ones are though )will make contact with you.

And Thommo - yes been through that - hate those needy guys that drool and will do anything.....

 

[Docker_Brat]

Kristin, it happens both ways.

I met a (seemingly) nice lady about 4 months ago and we really hit it off. I asked her if she would like to go out for dinner and she was really keen. I rang her and we chatted on the phone quite a few times but she told me that we couldn't go out for a while because she had a lot going on with work, her daughter, a friend moving in her family etc. But she kept saying she'd still love to go out. I told her outright how I felt, didn't get all heavy just told her that I had met someone I would love to get to know better, she was cool with that and said she only wanted to be friends at first and see how it goes from there.

After a few weeks of this I didn't hear from her for over a week and I rang to see how she was. I said did she still want to catch up and she said well I had better tell you something "I've been seeing someone for about 6 weeks now". Oh **** thanks for that. She went on to say she didn't realise how I felt blah blah crap and that she was really sorry.

Don't think all men are creeps by one (or even several) experiences. Both sexes do it to each otehr. I've learned in recent times to not take it as a blow or take it personally, I find if you keep reaching out to people youll get a quite few bad experiences, but you'll also get good ones as well.

 

[Chris_23]

Note to self - Don't drool.

 

[kristin5]

Oh I see...unfortunately, I don't like playing games though! I prefer to be honest and up-front, but I guess I'm going to get hurt this way.

And Sly and Thommo - I actually married a guy like that (after I told him to stop with all the "I only live for you" nonsense)! As you can see, it didn't last!!!

 

[Sly77]

Originally posted by kristin5
Oh I see...unfortunately, I don't like playing games though! I prefer to be honest and up-front, but I guess I'm going to get hurt this way.

Dont EVER play games if you want any respect - I hate chicks who just play around with guys and pull on their strings - unfortunately those types seem to be the ones who get the good guys

 

[Docker_Brat]

Originally posted by Sly77


Dont EVER play games if you want any respect - I hate chicks who just play around with guys and pull on their strings - unfortunately those types seem to be the ones who get the good guys

It would be best if women didn't play those kinda games.

A man would rather be rejected honestly than be deceived and toyed with.

 

[Mooster7]

Girls, be thankful you live on a planet, in a dimension where men want to have sex all the time.

The other option isn't pretty. Trust us men on this.

After all, we live on a planet, in a dimension where women don't want to have sex all the time.

I swear before God that if the situation was reversed, I for one wouldn't be complaining.

Chin up...or down. The ball is always in your court.

 

[Sly77]

Sorry Mooster - I may have missed the entire point of your post - BUT if you're implying that sex is all guys are after from females, you're probably about to cop a hell of a lot of abuse.

Life does not and should not revolve around sex

 

[Danny Chook Fan Club]

Originally posted by Sly77
Lesson #1: Guys are only interested in one thing, and will go out of their way to ensure the constant supply of that. Its all a game to them remember.

So why do women go to places full of these men. To find a life partner? Or are they really after the same thing too?

Lesson #2: If its a guy you have only just met DONT and I repeat DONT, make more than one approach without him making any effort in between - this gives him the impression that he's a sex god and you'll always come running. If you're going to make first contact - make sure you leave it as an open ended suggestion and make him make the plans.

Contrast this with ...

... hate those needy guys that drool and will do anything

So, essentially, you're after cheerful ambivalence?

 

[Watto]

Yeah, and since when were women the oh-so innocent ones?

 

[Chris_23]

Race 2, #1 DCFC W: $2.30 P: $1.30

 

[Danny Chook Fan Club]

That's value.

 

[Sly77]

1: Can we help it if men go to pubs?

I certainly dont go to pubs/bars/clubs to meet men - cant speak on behalf of others. They're all about going out for a night and having an enjoyable time.

2: I have never said that there are not females amongst us who dont treat the whole thing as a game too - I for one will be the first to put my hand up

3: No, essentially I'm after a guy with a mind of his own and can formulate his own opinions, who wont just nod his head and agree with everything I say.

4: My points were directing to the whole dating approach NOT going out to pubs/bars/clubs and "picking up". That entails a whole NEW set of rules

 

[thommo16]

Originally posted by Chris_23
Note to self - Don't drool.

Love it Chris!!!

 

[FIGJAM]

Originally posted by Sly77
I hate chicks who just play around with guys and pull on their strings.

Really...I like girls who do that!!

Kristin, you have a non-creep BigFooty partner right here!

Girls do hedge their bets quite frequently. I only aim to hang out with genuine people, so I consider any early inkling that they are manipulative (social behaviour, not returning calls, failing to arrive when stated) to be a good filtration device for friendships and relationships. Don't take it personally...pity them!

But as Barbara "Chalkboard" Streisand once sang: People who use people, are the unluckiest people in the world.

 

[BluesBabe666]

Originally posted by Mooster7


After all, we live on a planet, in a dimension where women don't want to have sex all the time.

Oh Mooster, there are women that DO want to have sex all the time dear!!

 

[thommo16]

Okay if we are going to share

I want a guy who takes me for me!! Doesn't want to change me, doesn't want to change themselves for me.

Heres my predicament

I love the footy. Love all aspects of the game. Love to yell, analyse, support, invlove myself with everything that footy has to offer. Want to find a guy who does the same. But when a guy sees me at the footy, or knows how much I know about the footy, they get freaked out. Is it a macho thing, do you guys feel threatened by a girl who knows as much about footy as you do. Most guys seem to think that us girls just go to the footy to perve, and yes I admit, there are times when I do, I do go for the whole game. The passion, tension, devasation and joy. I thought that a guys ideal woman would be a girl who loves a beer at the footy, but that doesn't seem to be the case

enough of my problems!

 

[Chris_23]

Originally posted by thommo16



Love it Chris!!!

You like droolers?!?! Now i'm confused, bloody women!

 

[Rohan_]

Originally posted by Sly77
yes they exist - dont ask me where the single ones are though )

I'm here.

 

[Mooster7]

Originally posted by Sly77
Sorry Mooster - I may have missed the entire point of your post - BUT if you're implying that sex is all guys are after from females, you're probably about to cop a hell of a lot of abuse.

Life does not and should not revolve around sex

Bring the abuse. I'm right even if I'm not "correct."

I love women. No getting around it. I love everything about them. I have girl - friends who are nothing but friends (BTW guys, this is always a good idea). However, I have never sat across from an attractive woman, friend or ortherwise, without wanting to engage her in the sack. It's perfectly natural. Any guy who says otherwise is lying or gay. Period.

I agree, there is a whole list of things which life revolves around. But sex is one of them, and it is more toward the top of that list. I think just behind having a beer while watching football.