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Family & Relationships Heartbreak

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Silent Alarm

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Today, I'm breaking up with my girlfriend.

It may sound perplexing to create a thread entitled, rather melodramatically, 'Heartbreak' when I'm enforcing it. But it's more dimensional.

I've had this girlfriend for two and a half years. We've been with each other for some of the most formative stages of our lives. We're not totally, need and dependent on one another, but we're just... always there for each other. I lost my virginity to her. I basically did my first everything with her, or whilst in a relationship with her.

But I'm moving out of town for uni. She's having a gap year. And although I very much still love her, distance will kill our relationship. I don't want to remember our time together for the final year of angst, worry, and absence.

So, time to pick your wounds. When did you first have your heart broken? When did you experience the downside of love for the inaugural time?
 
Silent Alarm said:
Today, I'm breaking up with my girlfriend.

It may sound perplexing to create a thread entitled, rather melodramatically, 'Heartbreak' when I'm enforcing it. But it's more dimensional.

I've had this girlfriend for two and a half years. We've been with each other for some of the most formative stages of our lives. We're not totally, need and dependent on one another, but we're just... always there for each other. I lost my virginity to her. I basically did my first everything with her, or whilst in a relationship with her.

But I'm moving out of town for uni. She's having a gap year. And although I very much still love her, distance will kill our relationship. I don't want to remember our time together for the final year of angst, worry, and absence.

So, time to pick your wounds. When did you first have your heart broken? When did you experience the downside of love for the inaugural time?
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Twice in my lifetime. First was when I was 16 and it was hard. Second was a few years ago it I have found it way, way more difficult now than the first time. And both times I didn't want it to end.

But you sound mature about it, and are being pro-active which is commendable.
 
About 2 weeks ago :p. Only the 2nd girlfriend I had had in my life (the other being for only a month). Had been with her nearly 4 years, and similar to you, had always just been there for each other. Pretty much everything you wrote. Did my first everything with her, always around her, not totally dependent on each other, but just always there.

It sucks, but it's one of things that will inevitably happen in everyone's life.
Sucks even more so when you are the one being dumped :o

Good luck though. You sound like you are ready for it, and have accepted it. Let us know how you go.
 

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Has never happened to me. Which, honestly, concerns me a bit. I have had 3 long term girlfriends but the two I have broken up with I have gotten over it very quickly. I like my current girlfriend very much, and would be very happy to spend the rest of my life with her, but I am not entirely sure that I would be all that devastated if our relationship ended. Sad, yes. But heartbroken? I don't know.

It does make me wonder if I have problems forming emotional bonds.
 
Caesar said:
Has never happened to me. Which, honestly, concerns me a bit. I have had 3 long term girlfriends but the two I have broken up with I have gotten over it very quickly. I like my current girlfriend very much, and would be very happy to spend the rest of my life with her, but I am not entirely sure that I would be all that devastated if our relationship ended. Sad, yes. But heartbroken? I don't know.

It does make me wonder if I have problems forming emotional bonds.
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You didn't use the word love, say you "like" your current girlfriend and this appears an odd choice of words, so reading between the lines, and I might be totally off track, it doesn't sound as though she is "the one".
 
I was just trying to avoid using it in that post because it's such a loaded word. To the best of my understanding of the concept, I love her.
 
None. I've been in situations where I should have felt heartbroken but honestly I just feel emotionally distant and unable to really form any sort of human feelings of attachment or bonding with people outside of my family :( Forever alone.
 
Yep. My biggest heartbreak was my partner in Taiwan. I got called back to Australia for a family emergency, fulling intending to go back when the emergency was over but due to circumstances that arose when I got back I never got to go back to Taiwan. We kept in contact by e-mail and phone for a while but gradually lost touch.
 
I have had one long relationship in my life. And like Caesar, when it ended I wasn't nearly as cut up as one would expect. Was with her for almost 18 months. Loved her and at the time pictured her being the one, but when it ended I just got over it. Was obviously angry that it had happened, and haven't spoken to her all that much since.

I think the only real heartbreak I've had was when dad told me mum wasn't coming back after she had moved out. I had always hoped it was a trial separation and I guess seeing my dad cry for the first time ever (I was 16) killed me.
 
I am also unfamiliar with the emotion known as Heartbreak. When my old man had to sell the VK Commodore that we had until I was 16 was probably more traumatic than the few breakups I've been in.
 

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SA, I must say that I'm in complete awe of your maturity, I won't even say "for a 17 year old"- you're just very mature.

Good for you!

Yes I've had my heart broken when I was 18 and 27 - which was severe. Since then I broke up with someone I loved last year but he is so damn lovely and terrific that I really look forward to being friends with him some day. As sad as that was I wouldn't actually call it a "heartbreak".

I think heartbreak comes from an unexpected breakup that leaves you not knowing what to do next. It kicks you to a very uncomfortable place.
 
SHAKESPEARE said:
Any parting pics you would like to share?
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It's hard to delete n00dz of your ex*. I've still got them of my ex on my phone, and I don't know whether to delete them or not :p. On one hand, they are a constant reminder of her, but on the other hand, she's hot.

*n00dz will not be posted.
 
noodz or negz
 
Igloo said:
It's hard to delete n00dz of your ex*. I've still got them of my ex on my phone, and I don't know whether to delete them or not :p. On one hand, they are a constant reminder of her, but on the other hand, she's hot.

*n00dz will not be posted.
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Save them on your computer in a folder tucked away somewhere that noone will find/you will forget about. Then when you find them 1-2 years down the track you will be in for a win.

Unless shes under 18. Delete that shiz.
 
kfc1 said:
Save them on your computer in a folder tucked away somewhere that noone will find/you will forget about. Then when you find them 1-2 years down the track you will be in for a win.

Unless shes under 18. Delete that shiz.
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Good idea. I'll do that :thumbsu::p.

and nah, she's 21. It's all good.
 

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Disappointment yes, heartbreak it's hard to say......

I have had many relationships, the most serious lasted a number of years AND an engagement. However we are still on very friendly terms today. The disappointment comes from what could have been, in that by now we should have been married with at least 1.... but possibly 2 kids. I envy some of my friends that are in this position, but at the same time i am relieved when it comes to witnessing some of my other friends who are going through hell with their partner.

I fell into my current relationship, which is my first official one for a while, as posted in the getting the woman you desire thread.... i did a lot of soul searching in between relationships. I knew while entering in this one that it was a short term thing, based on the fact that she's from America and was always going back there. I will be heartbroken when she finally leaves and theres not too long to go. It has only been a few short months, but she has given me a different outlook on life. While i've spoken about using it as a "confidence springboard", i'm still going to miss her like crazy.

Even if we had our first argument last weekend..... and only recently finding out something that she hid well from me (prone to anxiety attacks, i didn't see that coming.... probably should have as i have dated my fair share of women with "problems").
 
Well that was perhaps the hardest thing I've ever done.

No, definitely the hardest.

I walked to her house, she'd just gotten off work, and my mind was this faultless plan. I went to her house. But when she was just sitting on her bed, I turned to a jittery mess. I can't describe the tension I felt – from my dry mouth to my stiff chest. It was horrible. I said it bluntly. And she asked if I were serious. Half crying, I nodded, hazardously. She was holding back the tears.

I just hugged her for an hour. I told her how much she'd meant, and how much she'd always mean. I broke up with her when still in love. I'm moving four hours away, and I really don't know how much I could see her. A long distance relationship seemed rife with issues. I wanted to end it after a good period – and I ended it after an awesome period. I spent two years with her. She's the best person I've met. She's so grounded, so relatable, and so undeniably good looking. She was absolutely perfect, and those two and a half years were simply awesome.

I kissed her and said I was leaving. I really don't know if I'll even see her again.

I feel so heavy, and so numb. Yet there's also this sense of relief. I feel like the ineivetable has occurred, and that my sadness can just... kind of... get done with.

I wanted to walk back and hug her. I want to ask her to give it a go. And I want to always see her. It's so weird knowing I'm not with her anymore, and that I won't hang out with her whenever I want. This is just a shit time.
 
This young lady could do with some consoling.

Do you have her number handy?
 
Feel for you mate.

I'm still not completely over my last girlfriend, but similarly I know it had to end for a host of reasons and as such I've come to finally accept it.

Best of luck :thumbsu:
 
nicky said:
SA, I must say that I'm in complete awe of your maturity, I won't even say "for a 17 year old"- you're just very mature.

Good for you!

Yes I've had my heart broken when I was 18 and 27 - which was severe. Since then I broke up with someone I loved last year but he is so damn lovely and terrific that I really look forward to being friends with him some day. As sad as that was I wouldn't actually call it a "heartbreak".

I think heartbreak comes from an unexpected breakup that leaves you not knowing what to do next. It kicks you to a very uncomfortable place.
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So why did you break up with him, if he's so good?
 

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