Tigerturbulance
245kg of Love Muscle
Ophidian Old Boys
In shocking news released today Elton Johns Wig and the Fighting Furies held a press conference at the Hippodrome and declared he is signing with the Furies, a club he has on many occasions stated “I will not join the f@cking Furies."
Furies Club Captain Tigerturbulance stated “the Furies are excited signing Wigs for S30 and can’t wait to see what he can do on and off the field. He is a hardnosed, take no backward step qooty player and exactly the type of player we want at the furies flogging the opposition week in and week out. On top of this, EJW is known for producing consistent quality media, and area we have not been strong in these last few seasons. The rub on our club has been we were 2 quality players short of being a competitive top end team. With the signing of Norma Lee Ava and now Elton Johns Wig the rest of the SFA can EAD with their criticism of our club and our recruiting department. Get ready the Fighting Furies are going to F@*ck some sh!t up S30 ”
In declaring the club he was to sign for, Elton Johns Wig read from a prepared statement: “I gave my all for the Wonders and will be forever grateful for the support of the Wonders qootball club. But now this is all about the challenge of joining a new team and a new and unique opportunity to be part of something special in qootball. I know many of my qooty colleagues will be surprised by my choice, as I have been very vocal in the past about my thoughts about this club. The Furies had clearly the best recruitment approach and was chosen as the SFA number 1 choice (offer 4), they engaged me in conversation via PM and convinced me that I would be able to play a valuable role in the club going forward. Turbo's promise of time in the hot tub also did not go astray.
The Furies have got me genuinely excited about qooty again. I get a real sense from Tigerturbulance, Ned and the others that they are building something special and I loved the passion with which they put their case forward. I feel I am in the absolute prime of my qooty career, and want to play a part in returning the Furies to the top. Also, the free goon wasn't a negative. The only concern I have is playing in the same side as TJASTA, he is one weird unit.
In closing I would like to thank my Wonders team mates, especially Dingster for his support through this process and last but not least; fu** you U2tigers - Furies it is.”
