Interrupting

[cancat]

In conversations I like to let the other person say their piece, then I'll say mine. I think it shows respect to the other person and leads to a better exchange of information. But there are many people who seem to have no qualms about butting in when someone else is talking.

At work, meetings are often a succession of people interrupting each other. A lot of, possibly important, half made points are never followed up on - and the knowledge of non-interrupters is often not accessed.

A guy I know can't let any small anecdote get part way in without talking over it with one of his own.

On live TV and radio shows where there are multiple presenters, sometimes you can barely follow the conversation because each person wants to jump in and say their bit. After the Game was a shocker for it - one panelist would ask the special guest a question but then a couple of seconds into the reply another panelist would ask another question or make a remark.

What do you think Bigfooty? Are interruptions rude or just a normal part of human interactions?

 

[ash_1050]

 

[Messenger]

inbeforekanye.jpeg edit: LOL too late.

It's rude, attention seeking crap. Couldn't agree more.

 

[Caesar]

I think sometimes interruptions are necessary, when one person is addressing a complex issue with several facets. Clarifying, or branching off the discussion on an important point at the time it occurs is sometimes the most effective way to do it - rather than waiting til the end and backtracking. If you have a chair directing traffic - allowing interruptions but keeping the interruptions on point, bringing the floor back to the original speaker and allowing them to finish, etc. - then it's fine.

The problem is unmanaged interruptions. When the conversation is allowed to meander wherever, then allowing interruptions means the strongest (or rudest) personality takes it wherever they want. Aside from it being terrible manners, it's just plain inefficient.

Unmanaged interruptions are sort of a self-perpetuating problem. An interruption overrides the natural pause between one phase of conversation and the next. It means that the conversation very quickly moves on or changes subject without warning.

Once one person interrupts everyone starts it because suddenly you're fearful that if you don't jump in, someone else is going to. They'll seize control of the conversation and take it off in a completely different direction before you get a chance to say your piece.

 

[Messenger]

There are pauses in the natural flow that allow for constructive interruption. Very true.

 

[nicky]

In conversations I like to let the other person say their piece, then I'll say mine. I think it shows respect to the other person and leads to a better exchange of information. But there are many people who seem to have no qualms about butting in when someone else is talking.

At work, meetings are often a succession of people interrupting each other. A lot of, possibly important, half made points are never followed up on - and the knowledge of non-interrupters is often not accessed.

A guy I know can't let any small anecdote get part way in without talking over it with one of his own.

On live TV and radio shows where there are multiple presenters, sometimes you can barely follow the conversation because each person wants to jump in and say their bit. After the Game was a shocker for it - one panelist would ask the special guest a question but then a couple of seconds into the reply another panelist would ask another question or make a remark.

What do you think Bigfooty? Are interruptions rude or just a normal part of human interactions?

Rude and displays a distinct lack of emotional intelligence.

I work with a guy that i quite like but he's dreadful at talking over you. You'll wait for him to finish then say your piece and he'll talk over you with another point that he wants to make. Early on in my working relationship with him i pulled him up on it because it was ruder than just interrupting. Other colleagues have approached me about him because of this habbit of his and i've warned them to not take it personally.

He still does it to me all the time but he's a bit more aware of it as i've pulled him up on it a few times now.

He's essentially sending out a loud and clear message to everyone that he's not interested in anything you have to say which makes people not like him.

..........................................................

3.5 years ago i inadvertently acquired a mentor and this guy is the most respectful person I know in that he gives you his full attention when you're talking, if you interrupt him he will stop talking and let you speak. I've learnt from his example that this is a good way to be.

 

[The King!]

You learn a lot more listening and keeping your mouth shut, its a great tool and underestimated

 

[Northworth]

You learn a lot more listening and keeping your mouth shut, its a great tool and underestimated

true
we had a poster in our kitchen my mum always made me take note of - it said


A wise old owl lived in an oak
The more he saw the less he spoke
The less he spoke the more he heard.
Why can't we all be like that wise old bird?

 

[PP34]

If the person speaking is saying dumb things, I'll interrupt them.

 

[The King!]

If the person speaking is saying dumb things, I'll interrupt them.

Depends on the situation a little, if its just in public then yeah, sometimes let the person dig a hole for themselves

 

[FootyJunkie]

i do it sometimes over the phone unintentionally when its harder to know when the other person is about to say something, then there is that slightly awkward silence for a second... at that point, i don't give a stuff and i say my piece, but then i feel slightly guilty about the interruption on my part afterwards

first world problems

 

[cancat]

I think sometimes interruptions are necessary, when one person is addressing a complex issue with several facets. Clarifying, or branching off the discussion on an important point at the time it occurs is sometimes the most effective way to do it - rather than waiting til the end and backtracking. If you have a chair directing traffic - allowing interruptions but keeping the interruptions on point, bringing the floor back to the original speaker and allowing them to finish, etc. - then it's fine.

The problem is unmanaged interruptions. When the conversation is allowed to meander wherever, then allowing interruptions means the strongest (or rudest) personality takes it wherever they want. Aside from it being terrible manners, it's just plain inefficient.

Unmanaged interruptions are sort of a self-perpetuating problem. An interruption overrides the natural pause between one phase of conversation and the next. It means that the conversation very quickly moves on or changes subject without warning.

Once one person interrupts everyone starts it because suddenly you're fearful that if you don't jump in, someone else is going to. They'll seize control of the conversation and take it off in a completely different direction before you get a chance to say your piece.

Agree with those comments. Helped me realise that the problem is that the guy who runs most of my work meetings is unsuited to the role.

 

[A Swallow]

There is probably very little I can think of that p*sses me off more than people interrupting. I don't just mean someone eager to get their opinion across during a group discussion, that is annoying sure - but far worse are those people who continue to try to garner the attention of someone clearly in a conversation that doesn't involve them. Used to have a girl that worked for me, and on a number of different occasions when I would be having a work-related discussion with another staff member, she would stand a small distance away and continue to say my name over and over again until I would stop talking and look over, no matter how long that took. It usually resulted in me answering "What? What the f*ck do you want so badly?"* or something similar through gritted teeth, so that not many people could hear.







*Not the beginning of a Brazzers scene.

 

[kickazz]

There is a place for interruption. I am careful though that when/if I do, I make it quick then say something along the lines of "anyway, you were discussing xxxxx" to get the conversation back on track.

But then there is the other side - the people who's idea of listening is 'waiting for my turn to speak' when in fact they simply do not listen. With these people I have found calling them on it works. No need to be agressive, but all you do is interrupt their interruption and say - "hang on, I haven't finished", in the least aggressive/pompous way you can. What this does is reinforce that you believe what you have to say is important, and not just waffle. It also puts it back on the interruptor - you've basically said, (without verablising it) "If you interrupt again now, you are basically stating that what I have to say is of no importance and you do not want to hear it" More often than not, they will respectfully listen to the rest of what you say. If they do not, then perhaps there are bigger issues.

You need to use this tactic sparingly, and at the same time try to focus on your ability to engage people and get the point across well. Sometimes you might find that you are indeed waffling a bit and it might be best to let the interruption go.

This all also applies to conversations where you are trying to listen to one speaker and a third person interrupts - "hang on, I havne't quite got xxx's point here" o- you get the idea.

 

[rayven]

I interrupt, I know why, I know sometimes it is alot of what others say it is. It can be as frustrating for the dooer as it is for the victim. I also know that sometimes its hard to bite your tongue when someones speaking crap...or when you know where the conversation is going as a result of being ahead of your time.../sarcasm

I wouldn't say its a lack of or simply low emotional intelligence, more anxiety, more a result of bad early experiences. Sometimes its as a result of trying to hard...

 

[SugarShane]

Absolutely hate being interrupted. Shits me to no end. Working in customer service though it happens quite a bit. Every now and then you get a real turd who just won't stop, with those people i tend to just keep talking as they try and talk over the top. Two can play at that game arseh*le.

 

[Joshen]

It's interesting, in French culture (according to my former French teacher) interrupting indicates that you are interested in the conversation/what someone is saying.

Having said that it usually pisses me off to no end however, there are natural pauses in conversations when interruption is appropriate.

 

[DirtySanchezWCE]

In my office there are 6 women... when they're talking about shopping, or telling a little anecdote... they all seem to interrupt each other, or give their own story. Such as "oh yeah but I had this time where (insert something apparently more amazing than original story) happened" - so annoying.

Have to tune out!

 

[Mofra]

You learn a lot more listening and

Hey I totally agree and the other thing is

keeping your mouth shut, its a great tool and underestimated

oh shit, sorry

 

[Stratton_Gun]

 

[Simon_Nesbit]

What's worse, the interrupter, or the one-upper?

A few nights ago was part of a conversation about a bad airport story. Every other person present except the speaker was familiar with my (more dramatic, more serious....more interesting?) story, but there was little point in telling it as all bar the newcomer knew the story, so I let it go. Problem was others kept prompting me to tell the story (which I eventually did), which no doubt upset the original speaker.

I've had it happen to me (one of my friends is terrible at it, appropriating other people's stories just so he can be the focus - at times even telling you your own story!), so I was very aware of it (hence why I didn't just offer the natural progression in the conversation), but it became awkward due to others in the groups apparent lack of understanding of the lack of courtesy.

I'm a waffler - I forget key parts and misplace emphasis on jokes/stories which makes me a terrible story-teller. I was so used to being interrupted that it was a major issue with my first few years of (frontline) management. Without the 'referred authority' from my position (eg social situations), I'm usually the same, quiet, shy, bumbling speaker. So even people who in professional situations follow expectations become frequent interrupters - the cycle then continues.



Some people have issues, but if you are regularly being interrupted by different people, perhaps look at how you are presenting yourself.

 

[Colin D'Cops]

Sometimes I cut someone off with a serious question or funny remark just to keep them honest. Besides that, always let them go.

If they waffle on about crap consistently, they won't be seeing me again in a hurry - unless I'm getting paid.

 

[cancat]

It's interesting, in French culture (according to my former French teacher) interrupting indicates that you are interested in the conversation/what someone is saying.

I have wondered about the cultural angle. Apparently in most American Indian tribes it is considered very rude to interrupt someone when they are talking.

 

[kickazz]

It's interesting, in French culture (according to my former French teacher) interrupting indicates that you are interested in the conversation/what someone is saying.

It's a form of active listening - if you interrupt with a really valid and relevant question the interruption may indeed be appreciated as you are helping the speaker tailor what they are trying to communicate appropriately.

 

[nicky]

My experience agrees with this. My french friend always interrupts with question after question. I remember once she said "sorry for interrupting but i want to know this story exactly as it happened". It's nice albeit you lose a bit of memento.