Captain Awkward
Take a walk
- Apr 27, 2014
- 1,033
- 2,535
- AFL Club
- West Coast
Karny HalfHorse: Heart Of A Stallion
By Glenn McPharlap
In a love story that is bound to shatter hearts around the country, East Side Hawks heartthrob Karnezis_13 has been romantically linked with none other than three time Melbourne Cup winner, Makybe Diva. The pair were spotted frolicking together on the shores of the Equine Coast and were seen partying it up in various clubs.
If the rumours are true, then this blossoming romance could also be the reason for Karny's noticeable drop in form. Amazingly, Karny was kept stat less in last week's game against the Dragons. Many experts are describing it as the worst performance by a qootballer at any level, in any game ever.
Karny partying it up on the Equine Coast
Karny's mother, Jessica Sarah Parker who works as an ambassador for the Equine Society was clearly delighted at the news.
"I'm so glad for Karny." she said "He's gone through so many hardships in his life. All the other horses used to bully him at school because he was different."
And what hardships the young stallion has faced indeed. Karny and his brother Duncan were born as conjoined twins; they shared hind legs. Their parents made a mutual decision to separate them shortly after the birth. Unfortunately, only one of the twins was able to keep the hind legs and after much deliberation and a coin toss, Duncan was the decided winner.
Now, normally the birth of Siamese twins is a joyous occasion but unfortunately, one of them was pure evil. In this case, it was Duncan. Duncan often found himself in trouble due to his dislike of elves and had even once tried to sew himself and Karny back together.
"Duncan was always the wild one." Mrs Parker continued "Too crazy for Foal's Town. Too much of a foal for Crazy Town. He was an outcast. So we did the only equine thing. We chained Duncan up in the attic and fed him a bucket of fish heads once a week."
Karny's twin brother Duncan aka Furious D
Many are surprised when they find out that qootball was not Karny's first career choice. As a foal, Karny dreamt of becoming a big shot Hollywood actor like his idol Shadowfax from 'The Lord of the Rings'. Karny began his journey as an actor by auditioning for the role of "Jellybean" on 'The Saddle Club'. He was promptly rejected due to his deformity.
The rejection sparked a change of career path for the young stallion as he decided to pursue modelling instead. Karny became a successful model and is well known for being the poster horse for cosmetic brand, Neighbelline.
Karny as the face of Neighbelline
Karny's life changed forever when he agreed to participate in a celebrity qooty match for charity. The star amassed thirteen goals and fifty disposals in the first ten minutes of the game before being subbed off so that he could attend a photo shoot. Such prodigious talent could not go to waste and it was the East Side Hawks that realised this, recruiting him in season 15.
In season 18, Karny overthrew the Hawks' leadership group and declared himself as supreme dictator of the team. There he rules with an iron hoof and is now looking to expand his empire further, beyond the realms of Waverley.
Only a fool would dictate that a horse must have four legs to lead a successful life. Just ask Karny.
By Glenn McPharlap
In a love story that is bound to shatter hearts around the country, East Side Hawks heartthrob Karnezis_13 has been romantically linked with none other than three time Melbourne Cup winner, Makybe Diva. The pair were spotted frolicking together on the shores of the Equine Coast and were seen partying it up in various clubs.
If the rumours are true, then this blossoming romance could also be the reason for Karny's noticeable drop in form. Amazingly, Karny was kept stat less in last week's game against the Dragons. Many experts are describing it as the worst performance by a qootballer at any level, in any game ever.
Karny partying it up on the Equine Coast
Karny's mother, Jessica Sarah Parker who works as an ambassador for the Equine Society was clearly delighted at the news.
"I'm so glad for Karny." she said "He's gone through so many hardships in his life. All the other horses used to bully him at school because he was different."
And what hardships the young stallion has faced indeed. Karny and his brother Duncan were born as conjoined twins; they shared hind legs. Their parents made a mutual decision to separate them shortly after the birth. Unfortunately, only one of the twins was able to keep the hind legs and after much deliberation and a coin toss, Duncan was the decided winner.
Now, normally the birth of Siamese twins is a joyous occasion but unfortunately, one of them was pure evil. In this case, it was Duncan. Duncan often found himself in trouble due to his dislike of elves and had even once tried to sew himself and Karny back together.
"Duncan was always the wild one." Mrs Parker continued "Too crazy for Foal's Town. Too much of a foal for Crazy Town. He was an outcast. So we did the only equine thing. We chained Duncan up in the attic and fed him a bucket of fish heads once a week."
Karny's twin brother Duncan aka Furious D
Many are surprised when they find out that qootball was not Karny's first career choice. As a foal, Karny dreamt of becoming a big shot Hollywood actor like his idol Shadowfax from 'The Lord of the Rings'. Karny began his journey as an actor by auditioning for the role of "Jellybean" on 'The Saddle Club'. He was promptly rejected due to his deformity.
The rejection sparked a change of career path for the young stallion as he decided to pursue modelling instead. Karny became a successful model and is well known for being the poster horse for cosmetic brand, Neighbelline.
Karny as the face of Neighbelline
Karny's life changed forever when he agreed to participate in a celebrity qooty match for charity. The star amassed thirteen goals and fifty disposals in the first ten minutes of the game before being subbed off so that he could attend a photo shoot. Such prodigious talent could not go to waste and it was the East Side Hawks that realised this, recruiting him in season 15.
In season 18, Karny overthrew the Hawks' leadership group and declared himself as supreme dictator of the team. There he rules with an iron hoof and is now looking to expand his empire further, beyond the realms of Waverley.
Only a fool would dictate that a horse must have four legs to lead a successful life. Just ask Karny.