Lame Jokes Part 2

[DREAM TEAM BUFF]

In your mailbox? Bill.

 

[DREAM TEAM BUFF]

Flying out of the ball park? Homer.

 

[DREAM TEAM BUFF]

With a flatulence problem? Gail.

 

[wce_dyl]

Waterskiing? Skip.

 

[stemline]

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs buried alive? Doug.

What do you call a man with no arms and legs not buried alive? Douglas

 

[Quadzilla]

a woman tied to a jetty? ... maude

 

[Quadzilla]

a beautiful arab girl? asif

 

[Quadzilla]

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

 

[Quadzilla]

Spanish guy who lost his motor vehicle? carlos

 

[Quadzilla]

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it...so I said "Implants?"

 

[Quadzilla]

A man leaned toward an attractive woman at a bar and told her, "Haven't I seen you somewhere before?"
"Yes," she replied in a loud voice, "I'm the receptionist at the V.D. clinic

 

[Quadzilla]

A man had his VISA stolen but he decided not to report it as the thief was spending less than his wife did

 

[Quadzilla]

Normal people believe that "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." Engineers believe that "If it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet"

 

[DREAM TEAM BUFF]

What's the difference between a fridge and a vagina?

A fridge doesn't fart when you pull out the meat.

 

[DREAM TEAM BUFF]

What's worse than ants in your pants?


Uncles!

 

[DREAM TEAM BUFF]

What do you do when you see a spaceman? . . . You parkman

 

[DREAM TEAM BUFF]

where do you find a dog with no legs? . . . Where you left it.

 

[DREAM TEAM BUFF]

What do you call a dog with no legs? . . . Call it all you want, it not going to come.

 

[Quadzilla]

man who lives in a back street? Ali

man with a government subsidy? Grant

guy who puts his right hand into the mouth of a giant white shark? Lefty

guy who likes to read road maps? Miles

 

[Quadzilla]

guy who pretends to be blind and needs money? Con

guy in a flower pot with no arms and no legs? Pete

guy who’s been dropped into the middle of the ocean? Bob

girl lying in the middles of a tennis court? Annette

 

[Quadzilla]

girl who has one leg shorter than the other? Eileen

woman with no arms, no legs hanging on the wall? Peg

woman wrote A Life on the Ocean Wave? Eva Lott

 

[ClarkeM]

Waking up is the second hardest thing in the morning.

 

[DREAM TEAM BUFF]

Did you hear why they are giving Hot Chocolate and Viagra to elderly gentlemen at the local nursing home right before bed time?

The Hot Chocolate helps them get to sleep, and the Viagra keeps them from rolling out of bed!

 

[DREAM TEAM BUFF]

Just took delivery of a 40' roll of bubblewrap at work.

I asked the boss what he wanted done with it.

"Pop it in the corner" he said.

Took me nearly 6 hours.

 

[DREAM TEAM BUFF]

In a pile of leaves? Russel.