Lame Jokes Part 2

[Andrewy]

I was running a study the other day where I dressed some people up as Koalas to see if it made them sound more Australian. It mostly went well, but some people needed to be shifted into the no-costume control group because they didn’t like the fake fur.

I hate diskoalafying participants.

 

[Andrewy]

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Russian, a Latvian, a Turk, an Aussie, Two Kiwis, a German, and American, a Cypriot, an Egyptian, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Romanian, a Dane, an Israeli, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Greek, a Norwegian, an Ethiopian, a Nigerian and a Chilean walk into a nightclub.

The bouncer steps in front of the group. “Sorry, I can’t let you in without a Thai.”

 

[Andrewy]

Not sure about AI yet.
I just told AI to talk dirty to me....
It started describing my browser history.

 

[Billy ray]

Viagra may not make you James Bond
But it will make you Roger Moore

 

[Andrewy]

I told myself I needed to stop drinking so much.
But I’m not about to start listening to some drunk weirdo who talks to themself.

 

[Andrewy]

Have you ever played quiet tennis?

It's the same as regular tennis but without the racket.

 

[worbod]

I was unsure whether to begin a new life as a serial killer, but then I decided to have a stab at it.

 

[Andrewy]

I just got a new job at a paperless office.
Impressive and great until i had to go to the toilet.

 

[Andrewy]

Season Greetings jokesters.

Did you hear that Rudolph and Dasher got sponsored by a coffee company this year?

It actually makes sense, because they’re Santa’s Star Bucks.

 

[Andrewy]

Did you hear about the farm that produced camel milk? They shut down because of the chaos caused by camels running away and attacking people who tried to milk them, combined with legal disputes and a nasty divorce among the owners.

Yep. Turned out to be a real drama-dairy!

 

[worbod]

What Christmas carol would you hear out in the desert?

Oh Camel Ye Faithful.

 

[worbod]

Why weren't Donner and Blitzen sold at the auction?

They were two deer.

 

[Satan]

 

[Wallaby]

I made a New Year Resolution.

Stop procrastinating.

 

[Falconista]

Why won’t Apple ever build a car?

Because they’d have to install Windows!

 

[GoEaglesGoSGIO]

My wife calls me the love machine… not because of my sexual prowess. I’m just really bad at tennis

 

[Satan]

My wife calls me the love machine… not because of my sexual prowess. I’m just really bad at tennis

You aced that

 

[Wallaby]

Did you try changing ends?

 

[worbod]

I gave my handyman a to-do list, but he only did jobs 1, 3 and 5. Turns out he only does odd jobs.

 

[worbod]

Why did the teacher lower her swivel chair before teaching her class?

She wanted to get down with the kids.

 

[Wallaby]

Doctor: 'Sit down, we need to talk about your results'.
Me: 'Make it quick, Doc, I haven't got all day'.
Doctor: 'Who told you'?

 

[Satan]

 

[Xtreme]

My neighbour casually strikes up a conversation by asking if I am washing my car...... I reply "Nope, I'm just watering it to see if it will grow into a bus".

 

[Andrewy]

“I just watched a TV show about beavers, and you know what, it was the best dam show I’ve ever seen.”

 

[GoEaglesGoSGIO]

The Titanic was way before its time you will find. It was the first device in the world that froze which ended up causing a syncing issue