Mental Illness - lets help smash the stigma

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katmanblue said:
If you are a male in an abusive heterosexual relationship there are NO resources for you. You can call Mensline where the 'counselors' are trained to use the Duluth model. I.e. they treat you like you are the abuse

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Unless people have had some sort of personal experience with this it's very difficult for them to understand or even get them to accept that such a thing exists let alone acknowledge the toll it can take on someone.

I don't know exactly how it is today but 15-20 years ago you were totally on your own, nobody wanted to hear about it, therefore you end up suffering in silence and wondering whether the problem actually lies with yourself.

I don't know if i'm making too much sense here as it's not a subject I'm accustomed to publicly speaking about but it is certainly an important issue.
 
MrsEddieBetts said:
All of those issues are also true for women experiencing domestic violence.
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100% but there's more widespread awareness of the issue I think. There's also more assistance readily available I believe.
 

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MrsEddieBetts said:
That’s probably true. I’ve never looked into available resources for men.
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Like I said i'm not 100% sure of what the situation is right now, I probably should do a bit of research into it and I am in no way meaning to downplay what women who suffer from domestic violence go through, nobody has it easy in these situations.

It's just good to be able to talk about these things and hear what others have to say, maybe it makes us all a bit more open to trying to understand the things that happen around us.

Anyway, that's probably enough from me on this sort of issue, I'm not sure that I'm able to express myself exactly as I'd want to.
 
I thought it would be nice to post a quick shout out and give a plug to Loren and the team at the, Missing persons advocacy network, today marks the final day of missing persons week for 2020, whilst COVID would have no doubt limited the airtime the campaign received, it’s still important to get the message out that, there are organisations out there, looking after people who need it.

Each year 38,000 Australians go missing, 3 in 5 of these are under 18, whilst most are found shortly after, there are still over 3000 long term missing person cases in Australia, with The majority of these suspected suicides or misadventure.

MPAN was set up by Loren after her brother went missing and she found there to be a total lack of support for the families and friends left behind and a total lack of care by law enforcement when they don’t suspect a crime has been involved, 5 years later her brother was found during renovations to the family home, Loren now runs the charity full time and is a passionate advocate for supporting families off missing persons across the country.
 
It's all good to think of those who have a public presence as some of these organisations do, there are I'm sure thousands of people who are isolated and not represented by any publically recognised groups who are struggling through this pandemic. Keep an eye out for those around you who are suffering in silence. One act of kindness can make the world of difference to someone.
 
Well said.

I have a few people close to me that are on their own, day in, day out. They're struggling and you can see the walls coming in with the change in the way they are conversing.

Crazy times thanks to crazy solutions.

I'm grateful I have my family to keep me company and a job to let me out of the cage.

Sent from my SM-G965F using Tapatalk
 

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In the past, mum had a couple of bouts with being a depressive state, was difficult for her and for those around her, not understanding many of her thoughts at the time

We always got help for her, which she always embraced, but it is the constant reassurance of the people that loved her, that made the biggest difference

Stay close to your loved ones as well as people around you
 
Arr0w said:
In the past, mum had a couple of bouts with being a depressive state, was difficult for her and for those around her, not understanding many of her thoughts at the time
We always got help for her, which she always embraced, but it is the constant reassurance of the people that loved her, that made the biggest difference
Stay close to your loved ones as well as people around you
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........and stay close to the people not so close, also.
One never knows what one little act of genuine consideration may do for another.

Don't only be good when others are watching. Be considerate when no one is watching.
 
So it's RUOK day and all.

I'm not much on over-sharing or getting too personal on here, but for any big, dumb lugs out there, who may need a shove in the right direction...

I suppressed, ignored, 'she'll be righted' and internally raged my way through nine years of symptoms before finally working up the fortitude to raise my concerns with my GP last year. I can still feel myself shaking like a leaf as I tried to verbalise what I was feeling.

Absolutely everything in my life was an enormous effort...even life's great gifts like kicking the footy with the boy, was a chore that couldn't end soon enough. Work, social outings, dinner with the extended family, phone calls from friends and family (most of which went ignored), my own health care...I couldn't stick it in reverse and back away from it all quick enough.

But I still took some sort of perverse pride in my ability to withstand it all, to remain staunch...to still front up at work every day, despite how crushing it was, and how unproductive I felt. I think maybe deep down I knew I wasn't being the husband and father I wanted to be, but I could still provide an income...so there's that...

Anyway there I am, sitting there shaking in front of the doc, ashamed at the welling tears and all...but at some point in the consultation it hit me. She wasn't judging me. She wasn't disappointed in me. In fact she wasn't even surprised at what I had to tell her. She preempted a number of my symptoms before I could even spit them out. Turns out I wasn't the only person on earth, or indeed in town, who was going through this. And that was something...

Now it wasn't just a lighting bolt moment. You finally work up some momentum to do something about it all and then there are other hurdles in the way. Getting an appointment with a psychologist is hard...it takes time...you then need to commit to that appointment, you know...show up. But it helped, at least for me. You may have to go down the medication path. I'm completely medication resistant...hate the idea. Don't think I've finished a course of anti-biotics in my life. But again, it's just me thinking I'm bullet proof and don't need help. It took a few goes, but I finally stuck at it long enough for the medication to make a difference...it's not a crutch, it's simply stirring up some of the seratonin that you have otherwise been denying yourself for however long.

Anyhow, long road and all, but I can feel the weight lifting. I'm filthy at myself for taking so long, but so glad I got there eventually. And like a smoker who has just kicked the habit I'm full of blindingly obvious sage advice - if any of this rings a bell for you, have a chat with your doc. Seems strange that we'll let this relative stranger digitally penetrate us (if it hasn't happened to you yet, it will), but we're petrified about telling them we feel a bit down. There is very little to lose, and a life to gain...
 
Kramer1 said:
So it's RUOK day and all.

I'm not much on over-sharing or getting too personal on here, but for any big, dumb lugs out there, who may need a shove in the right direction...

I suppressed, ignored, 'she'll be righted' and internally raged my way through nine years of symptoms before finally working up the fortitude to raise my concerns with my GP last year. I can still feel myself shaking like a leaf as I tried to verbalise what I was feeling.

Absolutely everything in my life was an enormous effort...even life's great gifts like kicking the footy with the boy, was a chore that couldn't end soon enough. Work, social outings, dinner with the extended family, phone calls from friends and family (most of which went ignored), my own health care...I couldn't stick it in reverse and back away from it all quick enough.

But I still took some sort of perverse pride in my ability to withstand it all, to remain staunch...to still front up at work every day, despite how crushing it was, and how unproductive I felt. I think maybe deep down I knew I wasn't being the husband and father I wanted to be, but I could still provide an income...so there's that...

Anyway there I am, sitting there shaking in front of the doc, ashamed at the welling tears and all...but at some point in the consultation it hit me. She wasn't judging me. She wasn't disappointed in me. In fact she wasn't even surprised at what I had to tell her. She preempted a number of my symptoms before I could even spit them out. Turns out I wasn't the only person on earth, or indeed in town, who was going through this. And that was something...

Now it wasn't just a lighting bolt moment. You finally work up some momentum to do something about it all and then there are other hurdles in the way. Getting an appointment with a psychologist is hard...it takes time...you then need to commit to that appointment, you know...show up. But it helped, at least for me. You may have to go down the medication path. I'm completely medication resistant...hate the idea. Don't think I've finished a course of anti-biotics in my life. But again, it's just me thinking I'm bullet proof and don't need help. It took a few goes, but I finally stuck at it long enough for the medication to make a difference...it's not a crutch, it's simply stirring up some of the seratonin that you have otherwise been denying yourself for however long.

Anyhow, long road and all, but I can feel the weight lifting. I'm filthy at myself for taking so long, but so glad I got there eventually. And like a smoker who has just kicked the habit I'm full of blindingly obvious sage advice - if any of this rings a bell for you, have a chat with your doc. Seems strange that we'll let this relative stranger digitally penetrate us (if it hasn't happened to you yet, it will), but we're petrified about telling them we feel a bit down. There is very little to lose, and a life to gain...
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Great insight Kramer. Talk about shedding a tear........thank you and good on you.

I feel we all think about people at one point in time or another......you know.....people we've had good times with......people we've simply hung out with.....and people we may at one time or another not had so much good times with.....but people we just remember.
Have to set this up by saying that it's not about me - When I was wiser and when people came to mind, I just called them. I then told them that I had nothing to say but just that they came to mind and the impulse was to say hello.
It wasn't until years later that so many told me how much they valued those random and stupid little calls.

What's that got to do with anything? It taught me that you may not have to do a lot to do a lot. If it feels right just do it....don't hesitate.
One never knows what the smallest of gestures may amount to.
 
HARKER said:
Great insight Kramer. Talk about shedding a tear........thank you and good on you.

I feel we all think about people at one point in time or another......you know.....people we've had good times with......people we've simply hung out with.....and people we may at one time or another not had so much good times with.....but people we just remember.
Have to set this up by saying that it's not about me - When I was wiser and when people came to mind, I just called them. I then told them that I had nothing to say but just that they came to mind and the impulse was to say hello.
It wasn't until years later that so many told me how much they valued those random and stupid little calls.

What's that got to do with anything? It taught me that you may not have to do a lot to do a lot. If it feels right just do it....don't hesitate.
One never knows what the smallest of gestures may amount to.
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100% Harks. Little negatives, whatever form they may take, amplify into crushing defeats, and of course little victories, little acknowledgements...a single positive exchange, can leave you soaring...

A small gesture goes a long way.
 
Want to congratulate and thank everyone here who has opened up their heart here and shared their own battles and experiences with Mental Health Issues and or given support and kind words to others.

Greatly appreciated.
 
Poor Darren Jolly. Hope he gets the support he needs. Doesn't sound like he is in a good place. Thank goodness he is okay.
 
I bleed Blue said:
Poor Darren Jolly. Hope he gets the support he needs. Doesn't sound like he is in a good place. Thank goodness he is okay.
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Yep not good, hope he gets the help/support he needs.
 
katmanblue said:
Heard he'd been found.

No idea what's going on.

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Sounds like a bitter marriage separation, hasn’t seen his daughters for about 14 months, was due in court but went missing, posted disturbing message on social media indicating he couldn’t take much more.
 
I bleed Blue said:
Poor Darren Jolly. Hope he gets the support he needs. Doesn't sound like he is in a good place. Thank goodness he is okay.
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Damn, just did a quick recon of inter web! Bad situation for everyone involved. Fingers crossed everything works out for the best.
 
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