Think Tank Mofra's Lazy Bottom 40 for 2025

[Mofra]

Hello Bay,

Now with 20% off!
You know the deal. If you don't, please exit before you get offended. I'm only doing this because the Saudi government didn't offer me enough cash to sell out my morals and perform there recebtly (Bill Burr has now blocked me).

The rules

• My listings are final. If you disagree with me, you are wrong.
• Players with less than 20 games in total are excluded, although there is occasionally an allowance given for extraordinary spudness in the face of battle - especially for players who have spent extra time in the AFL environment and/or were first round picks.
• Players who have not played a senior game this year are excluded.
• Weightings have been granted for those who are over-rated, over paid, divers, are noted squibs and/or are generally annoying.
• This list includes weightings for off-field incidents
• Lifetime achievement awarded players are excluded, as they have given us so much joy already

The list
40 - Zac Merrett
39 - Izak Rankine
38 - Leek Aleer
37 - Brad Hill
36 - Mitch McGovern
35 - Dylan Shiel
34 - Adam Saad
33 - Esava Ratugolea
32 - Quinton Narkle
31 - Sean Darcy
30 - Archie Perkins
29 - Jackson Mead
28 - Orazio Fantasia
27 - Ben Hobbs
26 - Luke Davies-Uniacke
25 - Jake Lever
24 - North's Saviours
23 - Nick Coffield
22 - Oscar Allen
21 - Aaron Francis
20 - Tom de Koning

 

[Mofra]

Player #40 - Zac Merrett


Not Pictured: Loyalty

Zac Merrett is Essendon's best player, captain and multiple B&F winner and, if he was on St Kilda's list, he'd comfortably be the Saints' 6th highest paid player. Why the hell is he appearing here?

Because when the going gets tough, the tough get going... to a most hated rival.

Zac wants out because he doesn't like the culture at Essendon which he, as the longest serving leader at the club, is very much responsible for. He's the footballing equivalent of Kelli Stevens complaining about her marriage.

Of course there is a chance that Hawthorn decide that a 30 year old with commitment issues isn't worth mutiple first round picks and Zac has to go crawling back to Essendon.

Fun fact: Merrett has currently managed 6,852 disposals at AFL level. Next season he may get enough ball to finally surpass Essendon's finals drought tally in days.

Zac, good luck next year wherever you end up. Welcome to the Bottom 40 for 2025.

 

[Baldur]

The Bays version of the All Australian 40 squad. One where I can be certain that my beloved Saints will feature bigly.

 

[zackah]

Is it only a bottom 40 this year because Essendon doesn't have 50 players on our list?

 

[the avoca drover]

Is it only a bottom 40 this year because Essendon doesn't have 50 players on our list?

No, it’s because Mofra is a slack campaigner.

 

[Cyclops]

We need a system of immunity cards maybe earned in other Bay freds so I can keep Dan Houston

9

Dan Houston

Age

28

Ht

186cm

Wt

88kg

Pos.

Def

Career

Season

Last 5

D

18.2

5star

K

11.8

4star

HB

6.4

4star

M

4.9

5star

T

3.0

5star

MG

289.2

4star

D

17.6

4star

K

11.6

4star

HB

6.0

3star

M

3.3

3star

T

3.4

4star

MG

319.9

5star

D

16.6

4star

K

12.4

5star

HB

4.2

4star

M

7.0

5star

T

2.6

4star

MG

279.8

5star

and JDG out of this list.

 

[frggr]

Predicting a Bailey Smith

3

Bailey Smith

Age

24

Ht

185cm

Wt

86kg

Pos.

M/F

Career

Season

Last 5

D

18.3

5star

K

8.5

3star

HB

9.8

5star

M

2.3

2star

T

3.8

5star

CL

2.7

4star

D

19.8

5star

K

9.6

4star

HB

10.2

5star

M

1.8

2star

T

3.2

4star

CL

3.2

4star

D

14.8

4star

K

7.6

3star

HB

7.2

5star

M

2.0

3star

T

3.4

5star

CL

1.6

4star

#1

 

[Plugger35]

Jamarra Ugle-Hagan is very lucky that he didn't play a senior game this year.

 

[Elmer_Hauser]

Sooz's bottom 50 worst posters list she made a few years was a real doozy !

 

[Bont2Bruce]

 

[hawkman]

Predicting a Bailey Smith #1

Dangerfield may challenge him for his GF performance although he is missing the ex-Bulldog factor

 

[Cyclops]

Honestly when I saw the thread title I thought Mof was gonna post his "40 laziest players" and I thought "has he gone Jeff Kennet 13-50 edgelord?"on us?

The i remembered who i barrack for.

 

[FISTO]

Yasssss!

 

[The Sultan]

 

[The Sultan]

so is a 'lazy bottom' the opposite of a 'power bottom'?

 

[Mofra]

Player #39 - Izak Rankine

23

Izak Rankine

Age

25

Ht

179cm

Wt

82kg

Pos.

M/F

Career

Season

Last 5

D

13.0

3star

K

9.0

3star

HB

4.0

3star

M

2.7

3star

T

2.7

4star

CL

1.7

4star

D

13.0

3star

K

9.0

4star

HB

4.0

3star

M

2.7

3star

T

2.7

4star

CL

1.7

4star

D

13.0

4star

K

9.0

4star

HB

4.0

3star

M

2.7

3star

T

2.7

5star

CL

1.7

4star

Pictured: Izak's social media presence is currently on a re-direct

Izak Rankine

23

Izak Rankine

Age

25

Ht

179cm

Wt

82kg

Pos.

M/F

Career

Season

Last 5

D

13.0

3star

K

9.0

3star

HB

4.0

3star

M

2.7

3star

T

2.7

4star

CL

1.7

4star

D

13.0

3star

K

9.0

4star

HB

4.0

3star

M

2.7

3star

T

2.7

4star

CL

1.7

4star

D

13.0

4star

K

9.0

4star

HB

4.0

3star

M

2.7

3star

T

2.7

5star

CL

1.7

4star

is a home and away gun who's 2025 is remembered for opening his mouth at the wrong time. His teammates now refer to him as 'Lewinsky'.

Izak's personal opinions unfortuntely got him in enough hot water to force him to sit out the finals campaign, after the AFL actually followed precedent and banned him for making a homophobic slur against a Collingwood player. I won't repeat the comment but it was the sort of thing you should never say to a Collingwood player, like "nice contested mark Daicos" or "gee you're educated and I respect you".

Rankine appealed the suspension and Dan Houston

9

Dan Houston

Age

28

Ht

186cm

Wt

88kg

Pos.

Def

Career

Season

Last 5

D

18.2

5star

K

11.8

4star

HB

6.4

4star

M

4.9

5star

T

3.0

5star

MG

289.2

4star

D

17.6

4star

K

11.6

4star

HB

6.0

3star

M

3.3

3star

T

3.4

4star

MG

319.9

5star

D

16.6

4star

K

12.4

5star

HB

4.2

4star

M

7.0

5star

T

2.6

4star

MG

279.8

5star

attended the appeal, ironically meaning Rankine needed a Collingwood player to try and get him off after the game.

The crows went on to bow out of the finals in straight (lulz) sets, losing at home to firstly the Magpies and then the Hawks. Oh well, there's always next year (or in Essendon's case, decade).

Port fans, after having Ken Hinkley sacked then watching the Crows bow out in straight sets, have described 2025 as their most successful season in SANFL/AFL history.

Izak, good luck with a delayed start to next season. Welcome to the Bottom 40 for 2025.

 

[Bont2Bruce]

Congrats to Port on the drive-by.

 

[Bernie L]

Player #39 - Izak Rankine

View attachment 2455516
Pictured: Izak's social media presence is currently on a re-direct

Izak Rankine is a home and away gun who's 2025 is remembered for opening his mouth at the wrong time. His teammates now refer to him as 'Lewinsky'.

Izak's personal opinions unfortuntely got him in enough hot water to force him to sit out the finals campaign, after the AFL actually followed precedent and banned him for making a homophobic slur against a Collingwood player. I won't repeat the comment but it was the sort of thing you should never say to a Collingwood player, like "nice contested mark Daicos" or "gee you're educated and I respect you".

Rankine appealed the suspension and Dan Houston attended the appeal, ironically meaning Rankine needed a Collingwood player to try and get him off after the game.

The crows went on to bow out of the finals in straight (lulz) sets, losing at home to firstly the Magpies and then the Hawks. Oh well, there's always next year (or in Essendon's case, decade).

Port fans, after having Ken Hinkley sacked then watching the Crows bow out in straight sets, have described 2025 as their most successful season in SANFL/AFL history.

Izak, good luck with a delayed start to next season. Welcome to the Bottom 40 for 2025.

I had him top 10.

But the Port reference is gold.

 

[JoseMourinho]

Is it only a bottom 40 this year because Essendon doesn't have 50 players on our list?

Yes

 

[HairyO]

I'd subscribe if I knew how. If Rankine only made 39th, this is going to be a ****ing ripper review !!

 

[sthmelb_dimmies]

 

[Spiritof82]

Jamarra Ugle-Hagan is very lucky that he didn't play a senior game this year.

UH should still get in as he meets some of the criteria of point 2 ie 1st round pick and extraordinary spudiness:

• Players with less than 20 games in total are excluded, although there is occasionally an allowance given for extraordinary spudness in the face of battle - especially for players who have spent extra time in the AFL environment and/or were first round picks.

If he can't get onto the list then the award given to the #1 ranked player should be named after him

 

[Linda Lovelace]

I was going to suggest that this just be made the Bottom 20 to keep it alive in some form, as we can no longer fairly expect our intrepid aviator to have the energy of his youth. So I give the Bottom 40 two thumbs up.

*I would also like to petition for Fly to be named coach of the team based on Prelim final selection and the shit dribbling out of his mouth post-season. With sincere apologies to Matthew Nicks

Matthew Nicks

Age

50

Ht

187cm

Wt

88kg

Pos.

Fwd

Career

Season

Last 5

D

13.6

3star

K

9.4

4star

HB

4.2

3star

M

4.1

4star

T

1.7

4star

G

0.7

4star

No current season stats available

D

6.6

2star

K

4.4

2star

HB

2.2

2star

M

2.2

3star

T

1.4

4star

G

0.4

3star

and Michael Voss.

 

[Spiritof82]

Congrats to Port on the drive-by.

Is that Willie Rioli sending messages to opposition players?

 

[Bont2Bruce]

I think Little Nicky as #2 in this countdown has some merit.