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Never Married

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Y
Gralin said:
For most people the proof you were here is the kids you leave behind, most people aren't historically big, hell a lot of celebrities don't last a generation

Building something seems to make a lot of people happy, whether that be a family or a bridge or whatever.

Who will remember me when I'm gone comes up a lot and for most it's going to be family or friends, family tend to outlive you via kids/grand kids, friends don't always
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You're going to be dead. Even if you left behind a small fortune for an orphanage aint no one coming up to you in heaven and buying you a pint for it. That only happens in hell :thumbsu:
 
Legacy is an overrated concept. People don't really remember people after they've gone, apart from their very close relatives. My dad died ten years ago and even after that relatively short time period my nephews and nieces, who are now in their twenties/late teens don't really remember him.
 
craigos said:
Y

You're going to be dead. Even if you left behind a small fortune for an orphanage aint no one coming up to you in heaven and buying you a pint for it. That only happens in hell :thumbsu:
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I'm saying it's how most people think, we aren't that logical when you get down to it.
Procreation is genetic legacy, it's how we are wired, everything else people do is really just an extension of that
 

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raskolnikov said:
Kids are great. They keep me in a job. But to say that's the only meaning in life is absurd. People get meaning out of life in lots of ways. Friends, careers, hobbies, travel, animals, sports.
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Procreation, building a family -- these things are the foundation of why we exist. everything else you mentioned - friends, sports, travel - are just things we can do to try and fill that gap.
 
Tayl0r said:
Oh I know, I'm going straight to hell for it too
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Nah you'll be fine, that's just a lie made up by the state to keep you on the straight and narrow
 
perthblue said:
Procreation, building a family -- these things are the foundation of why we exist. everything else you mentioned - friends, sports, travel - are just things we can do to try and fill that gap.
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Is that you Lyle?
 
Marriage seems like such an old fashioned concept. What benefits does it bring to a guy? The girls get a nice ring and a [expensive] day that's all about them, and something to brag to all their vapid friends about. Seems like the only thing a guy really gets is someone to pull the plug on them if they go into a coma and a couple of tax benefits. If you want to spend your life with someone then why don't you just do that without signing some dumb contract?

I'd hate to be that guy who got married and had kids before 30 and got stuck living the same life for the next 30 years. Same 9-5 career. Same city. Can't take any major risks. Can't really explore your full potential. But then I guess there are also people who get to 50 and regret not shitting out a kid when they had the chance.
 
Jobe Watson said:
Marriage seems like such an old fashioned concept. What benefits does it bring to a guy? The girls get a nice ring and a [expensive] day that's all about them, and something to brag to all their vapid friends about. Seems like the only thing a guy really gets is someone to pull the plug on them if they go into a coma and a couple of tax benefits. If you want to spend your life with someone then why don't you just do that without signing some dumb contract.
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you're confusing marriage with a wedding. a man and a woman in a stable relationship is the best foundation for raising healthy and fully functioning children, which is the thing that underlines everything we do.

I won't deny that some people make bad decisions with who they choose to bunker down with, but thats hardly a case against marriage imo.
 
craigos said:
It's just the societal pressure from others that force a lot of people into marriage. "Oh, you've been with your boyfriend 5 years and you're still not married? Does he even love you?" Then the females get all jealous because their friend who has been together half as long is now engaged, it just makes no sense to me.
As someone that is in a long term relationship the pressure from other couples to get married is ridiculous. If you're the type of person who is constantly saying "you guys are next" to your friends then you probably need to be told you're a campaigner. Same goes with having children, jesus, does my head in.
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And then once you have a kid it's "when are you going to give them a little playmate?"
 

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Jobe Watson said:
Marriage seems like such an old fashioned concept. What benefits does it bring to a guy? The girls get a nice ring and a [expensive] day that's all about them, and something to brag to all their vapid friends about. Seems like the only thing a guy really gets is someone to pull the plug on them if they go into a coma and a couple of tax benefits. If you want to spend your life with someone then why don't you just do that without signing some dumb contract?

I'd hate to be that guy who got married and had kids before 30 and got stuck living the same life for the next 30 years. Same 9-5 career. Same city. Can't take any major risks. Can't really explore your full potential. But then I guess there are also people who get to 50 and regret not shitting out a kid when they had the chance.
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Only if you marry an idiot.
 
perthblue said:
you're confusing marriage with a wedding. a man and a woman in a stable relationship is the best foundation for raising healthy and fully functioning children, which is the thing that underlines everything we do.

I won't deny that some people make bad decisions with who they choose to bunker down with, but thats hardly a case against marriage imo.
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I'd say a stable, loving relationship gives the best chance for raising a kid but it doesn't have to be a man and a woman

Also doesn't mean that single parents can't get the job done.

Plenty of shit kids from a married family and plenty of good kids with only a single parent or separated parent.
 
james Dean said:
I thought as much
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Just another POV but I don't really believe in falling "in love" with someone. That's a Hollywood fantasy. You can be infatuated with someone but that isn't necessarily a recipe for a successful relationship. I'm married but without kids (for now) and its better than I thought it would be going in. If you find the right person, its like having someone who always has your back. It'll benefit you in all areas of your life. Obviously it has its pitfalls and I don't blame anyone for feeling nervous about making such a big decision. But for me the solution is to do due diligence beforehand as objectively as you can to find the right person, rather than avoid it altogether (and then pull out all the stops afterwards to make it work).
 

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Jobe Watson said:
Marriage seems like such an old fashioned concept. What benefits does it bring to a guy?
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Some thoughts from the top of my head:

1. Companionship through good and bad times.
2. Working together financially with a partner helps you gets ahead faster than as a one man band. Obviously that one can go the other way though if you aren't on the same page about money.
3. Having a feminine (or just another) perspective has helped me immeasurably in making decisions about work, family and life in general.
4. Best environment to raise children.
5. Sharing the load of responsibilities and each of you playing to your own strengths.
6. If you get along with your in-laws, it opens up a whole new network of contacts.
7. Sex without all of the drama. Downside is no casual sex but, aside from the allure, that gets old for most people.
 
Bill Maher, 62-year-old childless host of America's superior equivalent of Q&A, said a few months ago people have confided to him that, while they love and are proud of their children, if they'd known how hard it would be they wouldn't have had them.
 
Marriage is/ was an institution binding families into little communities.

That world's gone.


You'd be surprised how many single guys in shape, in thier forties get casual sex from married women.
Must be a lot of married men not contributing.
 
I'm in my 40s never married, I have a teenage son though. I honestly never thought I'd end up unmarried but there you go. I had a couple of relationships in my 20s and I really wanted to make things work with my sons father but he didn't.

After he was born I think I shut down from men and probably people in general. I regret that now.

I really would like to meet someone and get married. But everytime I feel attracted to someone they don't feel the same way. I'm planning on moving to the other side of Australia one day. Maybe I'll meet him there.
 
james Dean said:
Stealing a bit from Jerry Seinfeld here but it really does surprise me just how common marriage is. These people are agreeing to spend the rest of their life with this person, literally every single day for the rest of your existence you are going to be seeing this person.

Do people really think this through before they agree to it? Are women really just pressuring their partners into it because they want a nice wedding?
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No and yes for most part. Most people just conform to society expectations.
Reckon 80% of marriages have little thought going into them. It is just what most do.
 

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