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New rules for the ashes series

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> New Cricket rules for the upcoming Ashes.
>
> Following the crushing defeat of Pakistan, the International Cricket
Council has imposed a new set of rules for the up coming Ashes series.
>
> 1) As a result, England has been granted an automatic wickie, freeing
> up
wicket keeper Alex Stewart to defend the boundary. Under the rule,
Australian batsmen will be deemed out "caught behind" if the ball nicks
their bat and lands in the immediate area behind the wicket. The rule is
a compromise from the original English proposal which had pushed for
automatic slips as well. The ICC refused that request on the grounds
that "someone has to go and get the ball when an Australian misses it."
>
> 2) In addition, Australia is under strict "tip and run" restrictions
which require they take a run off every ball they hit. Steve Waugh was
happy to accept this, as it meant no change to his current game plan. As
a compromise, it was agreed that the Australians will also have to shout
out the word "wickets" when completing a run to make run out decsions by
umpires easier.
>
> 3) Australian wicketkeeper Adam Gilchrist has "six and out"
> restrictions
imposed on him. As well, following complaints from English fielders,
Gilchrist will have to get the ball if it goes across the road.
>
> 4) Instead of using a bat, Hayden will now be obliged to use his arm
> with
his jumper wrapped around it.
>
> 5) New rules for England include "one hand, one bounce" while they are
fielding, and the provision of "last man carries" when they are batting.
>
> 6) The English tried to extend the "can't get out first ball"
> provision
to"can't get out first ten overs", but the ICC proclaimed that the extra
runs gained would hardly be worth the effort. Australian captain Steve
Waugh has vigorously opposed the "last man carries" rule and has
launched an appeal. Waugh says Australia will only agree to the rule if
there are electric wickets at the end, allowing Aussie fielders to throw
to the stumps at either end.
>
> 7) A spokesperson for the ICC also announced that following six
successive ducks "from now on Craig White can't get out for a duck".
>
> 8) The English medium pace bowler will also be allowed to wrap the
> ball's
seam with electrical tape when he's bowling in the second innings.
>
> 9) The spokesperson added there will be "no LB" for English batsmen
unless "it is really, really obvious."
>
> 10) Shane Warne has conceded that its "fair enough" that he has to
> bowl
underarm (but not molly grubbers) to the English tail end.
>
> 11) If England decides that Harmison is to be given an over, the
> umpire
will deem the Australian batsmen as dismissed if Harmison lands the ball
anywhere on the pitch. Captain Steve Waugh has no problems with this
change, as the probability of such a dismissal occurring is
infinitessinately small.
>
> Despite the changes, Australia remains firm favourites going into the
Ashes Series, paying $0.22, while an English win is currently paying
$1.3 trillion.
 

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