Once a cheat always a cheat?

[BluesBabe666]

What do you guys think about this?

Do you think a person can go through their whole relationship life cheating on their partners, and then find one person and stop?

Or, is it true, that adage about once a cheat always a cheat?

I'm in two minds.

 

[Mocca]

Oh well, at least that's two more than usual.

Keep up the good work.

 

[BluesBabe666]

Smart arse - i know it was a Rohan question!!

 

[goal_umpire]

Originally posted by BluesBabe666
What do you guys think about this?

Do you think a person can go through their whole relationship life cheating on their partners, and then find one person and stop?

Or, is it true, that adage about once a cheat always a cheat?

I'm in two minds.

I think that if the guy who you are going out with cheats on you then you can do one good thing and that is forgive him.
However if he still cheats on you then drop him and never go back out with him because you know in the next couple of weeks or months he will get bored with you and go and have another affair.

 

[ramjet]

im always willing to give people a second(and sometimes foolishly a 3rd and 4th) chance to redeem themselves but never when it comes to infidelity. its not that i dont think people can actually stop their cheating ways, just my experience that they dont. im obviously chasing the wrong chicks though.

 

[Uncle Steve]

I thought this was going to be a Port Adelaide thread

 

[BluesBabe666]

Ok, so what if the person has cheated on other people in their past life, as you have never been in a relationship with them, but you know their history, do you chance it?

 

[knuckles]

Isn't the new buzz word "sexual addiction"


Why would your eyes roam if you had Halle Berry?

 

[bunsen burner]

Originally posted by BluesBabe666
Ok, so what if the person has cheated on other people in their past life, as you have never been in a relationship with them, but you know their history, do you chance it?

Not if you would be upset if they did end up cheating on you. I've seen it a million times: girl knows guy is a womaniser - girl thinks she can be the one who tames him - girl ends up in tears - guy moves on to next conquest.

Exceptions do occur, however expecting a guy to change is a low percentage play.

 

[Mooster7]

My answer is the same as it always is in this situation. There are six billion people on the planet. That gives you 3 billion (someone might argue that a bi has six, but think about it).

You can't make six billion anything without having savagely ****ed up samples in your batch. Why put up with a defective? Move on.

My short answer is 'yes' the bastard/bitch will cheat on you again. Patching it is near impossible. You both have to work overtime on the relationship. The cheater doubly so as the balance of power has shifted. He/she deserves the shift, but that doesn't make for a healthy relationship anyway.

Add to that, that every relationship demands overtime effort on both parties, and you have a recipe for disaster in one which has already experienced a breach in trust.

Don't be fooled that you 'love' the other person. You can have a really great supper. By nature, your supper will turn to shyte. What do you do with shyte? Flush it down. If you want to sleep with your feces, I suppose that's your business. Myself, I'll move on to the next supper. Peace,

Moosterastotle

 

[bunsen burner]

Originally posted by knuckles
Isn't the new buzz word "sexual addiction"

This 'sexual addiction' will be considered an illness soon, and all the tree hugging hippies will be sympathetic.

Unfortunately I have it, but to my defence I caught it off someone else. Not my fault.

 

[BluesBabe666]

Ah, yes, its highly contagious... and the more you get, the more you want!!

 

[Rohan_]

Originally posted by Mooster7
By nature, your supper will turn to shyte. What do you do with shyte? Flush it down. If you want to sleep with your feces, I suppose that's your business. Myself, I'll move on to the next supper.

Interesting analogy.

 

[Mead]

Originally posted by Uncle Steve
I thought this was going to be a Port Adelaide thread

Thats funny, I thought it was going to be a John Elliot thread.

 

[Pessimistic]

Someone (let's say very 'close' to me) had a rocky patch in marriage and 'cheated', his wife did too (or 'almost' - he'll never know)

It was a combination of crisis and opportunity. He also said it (the affair) was a very tense time emotionally and he doesn't really want to repeat it. His wife didn't really 'punish' him and probably learned to trust again.

He also admits there aren't too many 'opportunities' and he doesn't go looking for them. There may only have been one opportunity since and when he realised he might be on the same path again he got out of there like a flash.

Since has got two lovely young daughters so there is a happy ending. - has more than enough females to deal with in his life.

 

[Scarlett Pimp]

Unfortunately, it seems to be a part of modern life. I know I have done it, and would most likely do it again given the chance, and all of my friends (married/engaged/going out) have done the same.

Ask yourself this: If you had the chance to have some action on the side - no strings attached - and no-one would ever find out, would you do it?

I'd say over 80% of people would say yes.

 

[Watto]

With all the **** that goes on, and all the cheaters in the world you hear about I would probably trust no-one. Yes I know everyone's not like that but you never fully know would you?

 

[Lady Lawrence]

I believe that if someone is a serial cheater they will always be a cheater but a once off is different. When you settle into a long term relationship you realise the excitement and thrill of the chase is gone and it is often that that leads to being unfaithful. However once done it often brings about the realisation that you ARE happy with what you've got. It is often that unknown quantity that lures you to find out if the grass is greener on the other side and inevitably it is not. Human nature dictates that temptation is always there, we always want what we can't have etc etc.

If however it happens a second time it is time to do the walk and send 'em packing.

It is possible that someone simply has not met the right person and then the right one comes along and cheating stops. However, I personally believe that if you cheat on someone once you should be forgiven but if you do it again you are weak and shallow person. If you cheat a second time the person you are with is obviously not "the one" and you should end things with them straight away - not keep 'em around until something better comes along or waiting for "the one".

Speaking from a personal experience the latter is the worst thing you can do to someone. I was in a relationship and cheated with someone I had lusted after for years. The relationship ended (I was never rumbled but it taught me what I guess I already knew in that I should get out as it wasn't right). Once single I saw the guy I had cheated with on quite a few occassions (he was also in a long term relationship), he then started telling me he wanted to be with me full time and would leave her if I wanted to be with him. The sheer fact that he was cheating on her with me and would only leave her if I would be with him basically summed up who he was. If he was willing to leave her for me then he shouldn't be with her in the first place.

I hope this helps.

 

[BluesBabe666]

Its an interesting one isnt it.... about a year ago i was with someone that lived with his girlfriend (had cheated on past girlfriends also).... only twice and then i ended it, cos i didnt think it right and also because later on i got a new boyfriend.... we remained friends (not close but, just acquainted) and now we are both single and catching up for dinner (i think just as friends)..... we talk about our respective love lives alot and he claims that he is never cheating on another girlfriend again.... i dont know whether he is telling me this for other purposes or just that i am being a girl and thinking too much!! And dont know whether or not to trust him if it goes further!!!

 

[Lady Lawrence]

You have to ask yourself the hard questions and then make the hard decision.

Why are you meeting him for dinner?
Do you want more from him than just friends and dinner?
You then have to ask him the same questions.

If you want more and he wants more is it just sex or is it a relationship?

If it is a relationship - you are going in with your eyes wide open and taking a big risk that may bite ya on the bum.

Be completely honest with yourself - do you really like him on an emotional level or is it just physical? Nothing worng with the latter as long as both parties are honest about it and expectations are laid out on the table.

Good luck!!