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[goneloco62]

To the Chairman of Cricket Australia

I would like you to accept this letter as my application for any future position as an Australian selector. I might be over qualified when compared to the four current incumbents as I have never really succeeded at anything that I chose to do I have even moved from state to state to seek the status of under achiever. I have not played this great game of which you are in charge of to any higher level than “C” division indoor cricket. I have always been seen as a larrikin or joker that just loves his drink and food a bit too much. I get easily distracted by other things. I have even tried the use of nepotism be that through my family, friends or by marriage in my pursuit of success.
So as you can see I’m a Nepotistic alcoholic under achiever to this I believe I am very qualified for the position of an Australian selector.


Yours faithfully?
Future Selector in waiting

OZZIE H.

Austin (OZZIE) Hilditchughescoxsupinboontymes
Surname Pronounced: He’ll-ditch-who-*****-up-in-boon-times