OT: Some OT mirth

[Mad Dog]

it's Friday......


A Crows supporter in a wheel chair entered a restaurant one afternoon and asked the waitress for a cup of coffee. The Crows fan looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus sitting over there?" The waitress nodded "yes," so he told her to give Jesus a cup of coffee on him.

The next patron to come in was an Eagles supporter with a hunched back.

He shuffled over to a booth, painfully sat down, and asked the waitress for a cup of hot tea. He also glanced across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus over there?" The waitress nodded, so he said, "Give Jesus a cup of hot tea, my treat."

The third patron to come into the restaurant was a Power supporter on crutches. He hobbled over to a booth, sat down and hollered, "Hey there, chick, how's about gettin' me a cold glass of Coke!" He, too, looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that God's kid over there?" The waitress nodded, so he said to give Jesus a cold glass of coke, on his bill.

As Jesus got up to leave, he passed by the Crows supporter, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The man felt the strength come back into his legs, got up, and danced a jig out the door.

Jesus also passed by the Eagles supporter, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Eagles supporter felt his back straightening up, and he raised up his hands, praised the Lord and did a series of backflips out the door.

Then Jesus walked towards the Port supporter. The guy jumped up and yelled, "Don't touch me! I'm on a disability pension!"

 

[Alex99]

it's Friday......


A Crows supporter in a wheel chair entered a restaurant one afternoon and asked the waitress for a cup of coffee. The Crows fan looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus sitting over there?" The waitress nodded "yes," so he told her to give Jesus a cup of coffee on him.

The next patron to come in was an Eagles supporter with a hunched back.

He shuffled over to a booth, painfully sat down, and asked the waitress for a cup of hot tea. He also glanced across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus over there?" The waitress nodded, so he said, "Give Jesus a cup of hot tea, my treat."

The third patron to come into the restaurant was a Power supporter on crutches. He hobbled over to a booth, sat down and hollered, "Hey there, chick, how's about gettin' me a cold glass of Coke!" He, too, looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that God's kid over there?" The waitress nodded, so he said to give Jesus a cold glass of coke, on his bill.

As Jesus got up to leave, he passed by the Crows supporter, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The man felt the strength come back into his legs, got up, and danced a jig out the door.

Jesus also passed by the Eagles supporter, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Eagles supporter felt his back straightening up, and he raised up his hands, praised the Lord and did a series of backflips out the door.

Then Jesus walked towards the Port supporter. The guy jumped up and yelled, "Don't touch me! I'm on a disability pension!"

If there were any reputation points you Mad Dog would have to receive the maximum for that little effort, pure gold and not far from the truth as well.

LMFAO that was gold……in fact it was Olympic gold not just that commonwealth gold they are going to dish up next march in Melbourne

 

[Wood_Duck]

Whilst we are OT, I recieved an email this morning that was an absolute ripper. Is anyone aware of a way I can share it with the rest of you?

 

[Crowked]

hehehehe, good one, thanks for that

 

[Mad Dog]

Whilst we are OT, I recieved an email this morning that was an absolute ripper. Is anyone aware of a way I can share it with the rest of you?

just paste the text in a post here.......provided you want everyone to see it

 

[Wood_Duck]

just paste the text in a post here.......provided you want everyone to see it

Sorry, I should have said, its an attachement.

 

[Mad Dog]

Sorry, I should have said, its an attachement.

is the attachment a word.doc ???....

 

[Wood_Duck]

is the attachment a word.doc ???....

No a pps file (powerpoint slides).

 

[*PAF]

No a pps file (powerpoint slides).

What is the title?

 

[RooDog]

No a pps file (powerpoint slides).

i have a couple of cracker slideshows, but they are fairly poor taste so i dont think i would post them in here plus i dont know how to

 

[Wood_Duck]

What is the title?

I dont think its one you want to see PAF.
Miss_AFL Comp.pps

 

[Fergus]

I dont think its one you want to see PAF.
Miss_AFL Comp.pps

I've seen it - very funny. I've also seen it the reverse way with Miss Adelaide last.

 

[CaptainDangerfield]

it's Friday......


A Crows supporter in a wheel chair entered a restaurant one afternoon and asked the waitress for a cup of coffee. The Crows fan looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus sitting over there?" The waitress nodded "yes," so he told her to give Jesus a cup of coffee on him.

The next patron to come in was an Eagles supporter with a hunched back.

He shuffled over to a booth, painfully sat down, and asked the waitress for a cup of hot tea. He also glanced across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus over there?" The waitress nodded, so he said, "Give Jesus a cup of hot tea, my treat."

The third patron to come into the restaurant was a Power supporter on crutches. He hobbled over to a booth, sat down and hollered, "Hey there, chick, how's about gettin' me a cold glass of Coke!" He, too, looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that God's kid over there?" The waitress nodded, so he said to give Jesus a cold glass of coke, on his bill.

As Jesus got up to leave, he passed by the Crows supporter, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The man felt the strength come back into his legs, got up, and danced a jig out the door.

Jesus also passed by the Eagles supporter, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Eagles supporter felt his back straightening up, and he raised up his hands, praised the Lord and did a series of backflips out the door.

Then Jesus walked towards the Port supporter. The guy jumped up and yelled, "Don't touch me! I'm on a disability pension!"

I feel a lecture coming on from PAFC2004 ( Oprah Windfrey ) about the dangers of stereotyping.

 

[Mad Dog]

I feel a lecture coming on from PAFC2004 ( Oprah Windfrey ) about the dangers of stereotyping.

yeah - I thought about that....but.......it's meant to be a joke.....and most fair minded Paps will see it that way !!!....I'm sure those who want to lecture will regardless.

 

[CaptainDangerfield]

yeah - I thought about that....but.......it's meant to be a joke.....and most fair minded Paps will see it that way !!!....I'm sure those who want to lecture will regardless.

Poor old thing must be a nervous wreck. Has heart palpitations on the main board when someone calls the PAFC Port Power.

 

[Mad Dog]

more mirth.......warning: the contents of this post may offend some viewers.....

A Port Adelaide fan, an Adelaide Crows fan and a Richmond fan were all in
Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze. All of a sudden Saudi
police rushed in and arrested them. The mere possession of alcohol is a
severe offence in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime of actually being
caught consuming the booze, they were sentenced to death!

However, after many months and with the help of very good lawyers, they
were able to successfully appeal their sentence down to life imprisonment.
By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial
finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheikh decided they could be
released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip.

As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheikh suddenly said, "It
is my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to grant each of
you one wish before your whipping." The Richmond fan was first in line (he
had drunk the least), so he thought about this for a while and then said,
"Please tie a pillow to my back." This was done, but the pillow only lasted
10 lashes before the whip went through. The Richmond fan had to be carried
away bleeding and crying with pain when the punishment was done. The Power
fan was next up (he had almost finished an entire six pack by himself), and
after watching the scene, said "Alright! Please fix two pillows on my
back." But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes before the whip went
through again, sending the Power fan out crying like a little girl Power
fan after a showdown!

The Adelaide fan was the last one up (he had finished off the crate), but
before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said, "You
support the greatest team in the world, your supporters are some of the
best and most loyal fans in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!"
"Thank you, your Royal Highness," the Adelaide fan replies. "You truly are
a wise man. In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give
me not 20, but 100 lashes.

"Not only are you an honourable, handsome and powerful man, you are also
very brave," the Sheikh says with an admiring look on his face. "If 100
lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And, your second wish....what is
it to be?"

"Tie the Power fan to my back."

 

[AlwaysCrows]

hehe

 

[RooDog]

haha very good mad dog.

want som schappelle ones:

heres 2 ive heard....

Sign on Corbys Beauty Salon: Back in 20

the other

i bought a new lawn mower the other day, called the Victa Croby, holds 4.1kg of grass and comes with a 20 year garuantee.

 

[Damp Squarie]

You knowyou're a Pork supporter when....

1. A Halloween pumpkin has more teeth than your wife does.

2. You let your 15 yr old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of
her kids.

3. You've been married three times and still have the same in laws.

4. Jack Daniels makes your list of most admired people.

5. You wonder how service stations keep their toilets so clean.

6. Someone in your family died just after saying "hey watch this".

7. You think Dom Perignon is a mafia boss.

8. A ceiling fan once ruined your wife's hair do.

9. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded, right off
its wheels.

10. The market value of your car goes up and down depending on how much
petrol you have in the tank.

11. You have to go outside to get something out of the fridge.

12. The front verandah collapses and kills more than 10 dogs.

 

[Steve Dore]

Good ones Mad Dog

The first time I saw the one you posted topjars it was about that city across the gulf from your location.

Don't you just love stereotypes

 

[Damp Squarie]

Yeah they breed eh!

 

[GoSarge]

Two boys are playing football in a Melbourne park, when one is attacked by a Rottweiller. Thinking quickly, the other boy rips a board off a nearby fence, wedges it down the dogs collar and twists, breaking the dogs neck.

A reporter, who was strolling by, sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy.

"Bombers fan saves friend from vicious animal" He starts writing in his notebook.
"But I'm not a bombers fan", the boy said.

"Tigers fan rescues friend from horrific attack", The reporter starts again.
"But I'm not a Tigers fan either", the boy says.

Then what are you? The reporter asked. "I'm a Port Power fan" replies the boy.

The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes;

"Low Life Bastard Kills Family Pet!".

 

[NikkiNoo]

not footy related but.....
funny

 

[Stiffy_18]

Whilst we are OT, I recieved an email this morning that was an absolute ripper. Is anyone aware of a way I can share it with the rest of you?

I received one yesterday as well. Its called "One hit wonders". It did the round around the office today

PS. Also a power point slide show.

Great job guys. I particularly like Mad_Dogs joke at the top of this page

 

[*PAF]

I received one yesterday as well. Its called "One hit wonders". It did the round around the office today
...

As you can probably imagine, some people thought it would be funny to send it to me as well.