Anna complained to her friend Julia how she sometimes found it difficult to initiate sex with her husband.
"I know a simple trick,” Julia said.
“Whenever I want to have sex with Peter, I gently put my hand on his dick and say:
Your dick is very cold, do you want me to warm it up for you?
And that's it! Works every time!”
Anna was impressed and said she would try it when her husband got home that night.
When they met the next day, Julia asked how it went. Anna immediately started crying.
“We’re getting a divorce!” she sobbed.
“What? What happened?” Julia asked concerned.
“I tried to do your trick, but as I laid my hand on his dick, it was actually quite warm. I didn’t know what to say, so I asked him:
Why isn't your dick cold, like Peter’s?”
After a steamy one night stand a lady bursts into tears.
What's wrong asks the man
It's just I bet you tell your mates everything and I will be gossiped about.
Of course I do replied the man but don't worry they don't care. It's my wife who's so dam inquisitive
* A pessimist sees a dark tunnel.
* An optimist sees the light at the end of the tunnel.
* A realist sees a freight train exiting the tunnel.
* The train driver sees 3 idiots on the train track........
A guy breaks his arm and goes to the doctor, the doctor says ok, I need a urine sample before I can fix your arm, so he goes home and tells his wife, she says that’s crazy, she says I’ll pee in the bottle that’ll teach your stupid doctor, he says hey, I could put some engine oil in it, she says great why don’t you jerk off in it too.
He goes back to the doctor with his messed up sample.
The doctor looks at, smells it, then even takes a small sip.
The guys looking pretty smug knowing this quack hadn’t got a clue what he’s doing.
The doctor says well
your cars f’ed, your wife’s pregnant and if you don’t stop jerking off, your arm will never get better.