Relationships....

[Renegade]

Originally posted by Kid Dynamite!
Great to hear you've got things back on track, good luck to you.

I wouldnt worry too much about being hurt again. Thinking like that will only inflict splinters of self doubt, and you might get a little edgy. Focus on everything positive in what you have now, instead of creeping around on eggshells.

thanks.
Yeah i know, one of my problems is self doubt! It's going so well i almost feel that there has to be some catch to it all.
I'll be doing my best to enjoy what i have going and have some fun.

 

[Docker_Brat]

Don't forget to remind your ex that you're getting a bit.

 

[Renegade]

hahaha well when i'm sure me and this girl are officially together i'll probrably 'accidently' mention it so she finds out.

 

[Kid Dynamite!]

Originally posted by Renegade
thanks.
Yeah i know, one of my problems is self doubt! It's going so well i almost feel that there has to be some catch to it all.
I'll be doing my best to enjoy what i have going and have some fun.

It feels too good to be true, cant take my eyes off of you... type thing? In that case its best to cherish it while it lasts. You might think you're living a dream, but just try and remember that its really happening to you and its not just some dumb imaginary thing. When you remember its actually happening, something that good is happening to you, it'll make you feel a whole lot better.

What'll be even better is when you and this girl get together officially!

 

[LFC]

Brilliant work!!!
Just read through this thread, was beginning to wonder if there was a happy ending and then... BAM

She stayed after the guys left an we ended up kissing on my couch before things got heated up and we went to bed and had some awesome sex.

Brilliant!!

Also...

Don't forget to remind your ex that you're getting a bit

I couldn't agree more.


Keep us updated!!

 

[GOALden Hawk]

Originally posted by Docker_Brat
Don't forget to remind your ex that you're getting a bit.

HAHA! Love it. And good work renegade.

 

[Stucey]

Renegade....that was a poor effort on your ex-gf's behalf. How someone can break up with you on the basis of her parents getting divorced is just sad.

My GF's parents split up about 2 years ago and it caused no problems what so ever in our relationship. There were obviously some underlying issues that she had with the relationship before hand

If anything, you would think that people in that position would need their close friends to be there for them and help them through it all.

Good to hear that you have found someone else, but the time frame in which you have done it in is conducive to more of a rebound thing. But still, hope it works out! Good luck.

 

[yetsla]

Originally posted by Renegade
I apologise in advance for the soppy crap that follows.

I just need to get it off my chest and i think just putting it on here will help me a little.
I've been with my g/f for a little over 3 years and we've had a nice steady relationship. Recently (last week) her parents have filed for a divorce after about 30 years of marriage. For about the last year and a half their relationship has been pretty rocky and that has upset my girlfriend which is quite understandable.
Earlier this week she told me she wants some time appart to think about things, this being because of the situation involving her folks and she's unsure if we can have a future together which has upset me quite a bit.

Her biggest concern is that she will turn out like her mother and our relationship will in turn end up similair to the way her parents did. I love my girlfriend deeply and would love nothing more than to have a strong future together, however i'm extremely concerned that she is going to want to drop everything and end our 3 years together.

I have tried talking to her (and tomorrow we'll meet up and talk some more) and i'm doing my best to convince her that we're completely different to her parents and the last thing i want is to ever hurt her. She says she loves me....but doesn't know if we can continue to have a relationship. I'm hoping and praying that this is something she needs to think about for a short time then can see we're not the same as her folks are.

Of course a huge concern for me is the possibility of being dumped and left with my world in tatters..... i know my self confidence will be smashed and my life thrown into a spin. I've been hurt in the past and i really believed this relationship would see me with the right woman to build my future with.

I don't know if i'm asking for advice or if i'm simply telling you so i can get it off my chest.

Again i apologise for making it into a soppy little story...but thanks for reading anyway.

Mate... come down to Daisey's in Ringwood, sip womens drinks... and life will be good - as will women.

See you down there with all the boys!

 

[kaysee]

Originally posted by Renegade

...
[snip]
Again i apologise for making it into a soppy little story...but thanks for reading anyway.

I haven't read the other replies so I don't know what has been covered already. I just want to share my story which might help.

My g/f and I went away camping for 5 days. On the 2nd day she began telling me how she didn't know what she want in life etc and was in a rather confused state about lifes and our direction. Now these was rather distressing to me firstly because I really loved her and wanted to be with her and secondly because I had a freakin $1,500 DIAMOND RING in my bag and was planning on popping the question in on the last night of our trip.

After settling down from my near cardiac arrest I began to talk to her along the following lines...

"... there are no guarantees in life and we can only control things within our control. You're right I don't know what is going to happen in the future but we can't control that. We can only live for the present and control what we do now and how we feel now. For everything else we must place our trust in God (we are both religous otherwise you could say Fate etc) and trust that God wants us together. We will make mistakes along the way but hopefully we will learn from them together and become closer and stronger... again we will control what we can control and with everything else we will trust in God and that he/she wants us together..."

After this talk my g/f was feeling alot better about things and on the last night I popped the question and she accepted. We've been married for 4 years since and are going great.

Of course you must also consider how old you both are and how much maturing you both have to do if any. Each situation is different but if you can use any of what I have said great... otherwise it is just another 1Kb of data on the web.

SKC

 

[lioness]

Originally posted by Stucey
Renegade....that was a poor effort on your ex-gf's behalf. How someone can break up with you on the basis of her parents getting divorced is just sad.

I agree, especially if they'd been together for 3 YEARS!! Just to chuck it all away over something that shouldn't have mattered that much is pretty weak too.

Anyways Renegade, I wish you all the best with the new girl, good to see that things are working out for you.

 

[Nic]

Originally posted by lioness22
I agree, especially if they'd been together for 3 YEARS!! Just to chuck it all away over something that shouldn't have mattered that much is pretty weak too.

Sounds like she was looking for an excuse.

 

[lioness]

Originally posted by Nic
Sounds like she was looking for an excuse.

Yeah well I was going to say that, but thought it was a bit mean!

 

[Jeffers]

Renegade, Thanks for the update, i was getting curious on what was going on...And Way to Go Son!!

 

[Nic]

Not that I was implying anything's wrong with Renegade ...

 

[lioness]

Well obviously there isn't, since he's already picked up so soon........

 

[Renegade]

haha thanks guys i enjoyed reading the responses.

No one is as surprised as me that things have turned around this quickly. Each time i've had stupid thoughts in my head about how it's all too good to be true etc... i've spent some time with the new g/f and had alot of positive feelings about life. At the moment i'm happy... but i wont sit back and take everything for granted, i think i did that last time...infact i KNOW i did that last time.

Having a close group of friends has played an enormous part in being able to deal with the breakup first off and then the step back into a relationship. Friendships are one thing that shouldnt ever be just taken for granted.
Now i take each day as it comes and look forward to what the next day brings, and i'm glad i posted my little sob story on here as it helped me get different opinions and ideas about what was happening. It's very easy to think a particulair way and not see things for the way they really are. Alot of responses opened my eyes and helped with the way i saw things. For that i thank everyone who posted... I'll definately keep updating this thread and let you guys know how things are going.

 

[Renegade]

Well i said i'd post whenever something happened so here i am to whinge and bitch some more.

Went to the movies with her today...all was fine, the normal, hugs, kisses, holding hands bull**** etc. Since wednesday we'd planned for her to come over tonight (sunday) to spend some more time together. She was going out with friends this afternoon and ends up ;falling asleep at hr her friends' and texts me at about 9.50pm saying how sorry she was that she fell asleep, and that she best go home to catch up on some sleep so she's in a decent mood to go out tomorrow with me.
Needless to say i was pretty ****in ****ed off!

I can pretty much expect most of you to say 'oh man she's obviously cheating' etc, but i'm very confident thats not the case....she's not that kind of person.
Now she did only get 4 hrs sleep so she has a valid point about being tired and falling asleep but **** it just gave me the complete ****s!
I plan for us to have a night together and i give up my night only to sit at home on my ass in the ****s.
Now tomorrow i dont know what i'm going to say but **** im not impressed.
Am i expecting too much? am i just a complete and utter ******** who feels he needs a woman more than he really does?.....i dont know!
Do i have issues....**** yeah! i know i have too many women problems....i over analyse things more than i should....i always give all of my heart instead of some....

I'll be back tomorrow sometime u can bet on that....probrably with another thing to totally **** and moan about. **** isnt love great.

 

[Squeak]

Hehe, you hear about that kind of thing all the time, but its generally the other way round as far as gender goes.

Do you also like to talk during the night when she would rather sleep? If she wants to sleep it doesn't mean she doesn't want you, she's just tired!

 

[Swans Upstart]

Hi Renegade. I'll be blunt: I think you're being too demanding. I also think youre taking this new relationship too seriously when it's still only early days. Is this the first time she's let you down? Wait for her to do it a couple more times before you start making an issue of it. Besides, she had a valid excuse.

 

[WILKO_6]

Originally posted by Renegade
i over analyse things more than i should....i always give all of my heart instead of some....

I know how you feel there. I over analyze everything, i think too much about everything and sometimes it gets me down.

Anyway i think you have over analyzed it and unless it happens more and more often dont be too fazed by it.

 

[Renegade]

This morning she texts me just before 9 to see if i wanted her to still come out with me today or whether i was mad at her. I said i'd get over not haviing her over last night and she should come if she feels like it....she still was under the impression that i was ****ed off and decided not to come out.
I ended up apologising and asked her to come out and have a good time with us. She ended up calling me in the afternoon and we spoke briefly and i told her i didnt mean to sound ****ed off about it...i just wanted to spend time with her.

Then she surprisingly turned up at cricket tonight and we decided it was all a bit silly and hugged-kissed and that was it.
So it looks like i'll see her on thursday.
Until then i'll do my best to not think negative bull****...i'll life my week as normal and have a talk with her on thursday and ask her what she's looking for...