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Premier League - Matchday 24

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Game Day Round 12 Matchday Discussion

Loose at HB · 2021-06-03T01:11:05+00:00

'All rise”. It was a blissful Sunday morning in the land of SuperCoach. The backlines were full of seagulls, the midfields stuffed with piggies and Bonts galore while puppies gloriously showered the hills. The Coaches eagerly shuffled into their morning address where they would listen to the words of the most fabled SP known to man, the man who was the reason the term “perma-captain” was invented and the man who revolutionised SuperCoach with his unparalleled consistency. Thou must watch all games on Sunday and not bother themselves with petty “life” responsibilities “The KOTD be with you”. “And also with you”. “In the name of Coxy, Gazza and the Holy Seagull”. The Coaches nodded solemnly and sat down. They’d always found it a little strange that GAJ opened with a mention of himself as part of the CD trinity, but upon looking at Patrick Dangerfield they decided that being self-obsessed must just be a Geelong thing. He was an engaging and motivating figure all the same, and his legacy to the game of SuperCoach could never be understated. Who were they, mere mortals, to question the divine will of the permacaptain? Gazza looked at the herd of Coaches before him with an almost dismissive glint in his eye. He was aware of their disrespect, their blasphemies. Max Gawn the SuperCoach GOAT? The Bont the King of KOTD? I’ve only been retired for 8 months, he mumbled. Fickle, these SuperCoaches. He looked back down at his program notes – the tradition was he always began with asking the group how they felt they were tracking this weekend. The beginnings of a crooked evil smile developing on his face, GAJ raised his head again. “Who among those present has had their captain play this week?” Almost everyone raised their hand. Big Max had already played and gone 160 – there was nothing else to think about. “I take it then the vast majority of you are using the VC loophole?” The herd nodded in unison and the evil smile on the Bald One’s face became more prominent. This’ll show them. “There was once a Coach whose hubris and brashness preceded him,” he began. “This man would proclaim his scores from the rooftops every Saturday night, demanding puppies as his reward for the size of his Chol and the success of his team”. A few muffles of laughter were heard at the back of the building, but most Coaches provided the sermon with their undivided attention. “This behaviour continued for weeks on end, until one day in 2012 where this coach dared to doubt my greatness and only placed the VC on yours truly. Of course, I dominated and delivered you all a golden 171”. “The Coach bragged louder than he ever had before, parading his Chol with the arrogance of a man who was foolish enough to actually believe the SC gold projection of 2568. He then proceeded to place the C on a rookie named as the sub – he believed himself impervious to any and all punishment. He tempted fate, tempted the SC gods. Tempted me”. There was a collective gulp throughout the cathedral. They all knew about the merciless nature of the SC gods; how anything good was doomed not to last, how any rookie was destined to blunt their cash gen with a 20 and how they would continually set up the temptress Natalie Fyfe to trap newbies year after year. Even experienced campaigners found it difficult to resist the early season average of 130, despite knowing an injury was around the corner. Stupid Sexy Fyfey!! Every ****ing year Gaz could smell their fear. “That Sunday, the player with the C came on with 5 minutes to go and scored 3. Multiple premos were injured that day, Toby Greene probably got suspended and the Coach was never to be seen again. Legend has it he didn’t even crack 2000.” And thus, the legend of Sunday, Bloody Sunday was born. MELBOURNE vs BRISBANE Much like last weekend, the first of the dreaded bye rounds kicks off with an epic midfield battle. The Olliepig came out on top last week in his battle against KOTDempelli and will be looking to take the scalp of Jarryd Lyons and co this week, the Lions thinking of bringing back Brownlow Medallist and fellow certified piglet Lachie Neale to bolster their stocks and provide us interested watchers with some brutal pig-on-pig action. The spectre of Piggy Neale on the horizon raises questions about the ongoing scoring of the aforementioned Lyons as well as Hugh McCluggage, both of them producing pretty ordinary scores last week (82 and 74 respectively) that will make them much more accessible in a fortnight’s time if they’re not too negatively impacted. How I imagine Olliepig vs Piggy Neale will go down Oliver was ably supported by Christian Petracca who is quietly screaming “bargain” at 528k on the back of 3 solid tons. He’s been pretty consistent all things considered but has a terrible bye for most coaches. Max Gawn basically turned up for one quarter and still managed 120 which was equal parts ridiculous and frustrating for those with the VC on him, while down back Steven May was solid with 90 and clearly stole far too many chips for Christian Salem’s liking, the half back flanker putting in by far his worst effort of the season. Given his usual formline and Melbourne’s preference for the ball in his hands, he could be a tasty final backline upgrade for about 500k in a couple of weeks. There should be roughly 100k between his price and that of James Jordon, the rookie stud not having a heap more cash to make but returning to form with a welcome 85. For the Lions, Dayne Zorko continued his magical form of recent weeks with a monster 162 which has him projected to be firmly over 600k heading into his bye and well out of the reach of those without him. One of those is myself in another instance of not listening to my own advice when he was 511k 2 weeks ago. Daniel Rich produced a steady 89 while Dev Robertson put up his best score for 5 weeks with a cash-generating 85. Popular rookie trade in James Madden was good again, scoring 68 but he has about as much job security as the average contestant on The Apprentice. SYDNEY vs ST. KILDA One of the most common sources of frustration for all involved in SuperCoach is the scoring of Jake Lloyd. Those without him melt with the force of a thousand suns, and those with him just shrug sheepishly because there’s nothing honest about the way this scab plays or how he scores. The fabled CD algorithm somehow determined the Mighty Gull to be the best player on the ground, his inexplicable 142 being his best of the season by far in further proof that there’s something about seagulling that arouses a nerd behind a screen. Popular target Isaac Heeney was genuinely the best player on the ground yet was only rewarded with 128, while Callum Mills continued his stellar form with another SP score. Chad Warner seems unable of breaking the 65 barrier in the last 5 weeks but an injury scare concerning James Rowbottom may open up the chance for Warner to return to his early season form. The CD campaigners may end up a little confused come Saturday as another one of their favourites lines up on the other side. Jack Steele turned in a performance that would have seen Patrick Cripps barely crack 105 yet somehow was rewarded with 154 and given the often-congested nature of many SCG games, another hilariously KOTD score isn’t out of the question. Ryan Byrnes has been pretty good for those who opted for him over RCD a couple of weeks back but it is the lacklustre performance of Tom Highmore that will have most coaches talking. The rookie saviour turned potato tanked his long awaited cash gen with a paltry 36 and a display that had a few of us thinking “Maybe Ratts isn’t such a dumb campaigner after all”… Ratts sending Sir Thomas back to Sandy, never to be seen again ADELAIDE vs COLLINGWOOD The Crows’ general theme of SC-irrelevancy doesn’t look like changing anytime soon. Rory Laird broke his streak of 3 straight 120s with an under-par 92 while fathead Jimmy Rowe finally returned to more expected spudly form with 54. Sadly for those who jumped off long ago, the kent has also crossed the 300k barrier and will likely have the skis out against a decidedly ordinary Collingwood side. Sam Berry will miss with concussion and in the process put his owners out of their misery waiting for that one game where he finally scores more than 70. Brodie Grundy destroyed multiple rounds and multiple souls after having his head ripped off against the Cats last week and will be missing through the byes, leaving the vast majority of Coaches with a decision to make. Jack Crisp has been a beacon of consistency in recent times with 5 tons in his last 6 and might be worth it as a POD in defence, given how much time the ball spends down there in addition to his occasional midfield time. Steele Sidebottom continued his serious case of the nervous nineties with his 4th consecutive score in that bracket while Caleb Poulter continues to produce as a solid on-field rook. The rooks are really where the Pies have any real SC interest; Nathan Murphy was okay again and should hold his spot while Fin Macrae returned as the sub and, with an injury to Taylor Adams, may still be worth trading in if Bucks finally decides to chuck him anywhere near the midfield. Beau McCreery looks likely to return from a calf injury and may also be useful for a whopping 40 extra points during the byes. ESSENDON vs RICHMOND The Bombers are absolutely flying and Darcy Parish continues to be a driving force with his sixth consecutive ton. Zach Merrett also enjoyed some freedom against the Eagles and looks to be quite a tasty trade in around his bye, a current price of 541k and BE of 89 meaning he should be gettable for about 550k in a fortnight. Dyson Heppell continues to be a revelation for his owners, the skipper going large with 134 and enhancing his credentials as a potential M8 for the season. Nick Hind just keeps on finding chips along half back, sadly in stark contrast to Jordan Ridley who hasn’t actually managed to get back over 500k since dropping underneath it after being inflicted with the disease known as “accountability”. Sources tell me Jake Lloyd has been vaccinated against this condition which may explain the better part of the last decade. Rutten explaining to the rest of the Essendon Gull Squad why Jordan can't play with them Alec Waterman was reasonable with 54 and has his immediate job security enhanced by an injury to Will Snelling while for those still holding onto Harry Jones, he’s turned out to be quite the solid rook. Jayden Short has perfected a magical second half disappearing act in recent weeks, a combination of Bachar Houli and general campaignerism resulting in Jayden’s scores often falling…. Short :moustache:. Thankfully, on this occasion he did manage to get over the ton with old mate Bachar finishing on 80. Shai Bolton’s surgeon will be in some seriously high demand after his patient returned in record time from a wrist fracture and showed absolutely no ill effects, tonning up for the fifth time in 6 starts. Dusty turned in a very typical mid-season Dusty performance while RCD was upstaged by his kindred three-letter colleague in Callum Coleman-Jones. CCJ was mightily impressive against the Crows with 4 goals and some solid contested marking on the way to 112 and it appears like the stars have aligned for him to get an extended run in the Richmond side, with injuries to both Tom Lynch and Toby Nankervis. Almost like they did for RCD in the guts... anyone know if Steven Bradbury is a Richmond supporter? CARLTON vs WEST COAST It was only a matter of time before the form of wonderkid Sam Walsh attracted some attention – the Swans rotated a few blokes through him and although his effort can never be questioned, his influence was certainly curtailed and he dipped under the ton for the second time in 4 weeks. His captains were subjected to distinctly differing fortunes – Sam Docherty was put back into defence and struggled his way to his worst score of the season while Patrick Cripps turned in a virtuoso performance reminiscent of the SP of old, 27 possessions and 3 goals carrying the fallen stud to 133 and his best score to date. Crippa has been moving significantly better in the last month and even another throwback performance should only have him at around 480k heading into the bye – an op shop visit may be in order :moustache: Nic Naitanui has been quietly been in some spectacular SC form – a 5 round average of 123.4 bookended by last week’s 163 combined with the injury to Brodie Grundy has suddenly made the man who cannot mark SC relevant for those who have the Chol and trades in hand. Tim Kelly’s run of premo form was cruelly cut short by a knee injury while Andrew Gaff has fallen off the radar with 3 sub-ton outings and probably shouldn’t be considered unless you’re desperate. One man who should be considered however is SC board favourite, Shannon “The Thighmaster” Hurn, the man with the biggest quads in the comp posting 84 and 105 since returning from a calf injury and at 409k, you won’t really do any better when it comes to a bargain basement D6. Couple of these, oooooh and one of those… FREMANTLE vs WESTERN BULLDOGS Nothing good came out of Fremantle’s performance against Port last week – and when I say nothing I mean nothing. Luke Ryan top-scored with an even 100 but other than him, popular midfield picks Nat Fyfe, Adam Cerra and Andy Brayshaw all failed to reach the ton and the task doesn’t get any easier this week against one of the competition's top 2 midfields. Michael Walters attracted some mild attention after a 98 last week but quickly returned to form with 55 against Port and should be crossed off all watchlists until further notice. Even David Mundy missed the ton! The Dogs will be hoping to rebound from their loss against the Dees and many Coaches will again look to Jack Macrae, the stud having returned to proper SP form in the past fortnight with back to back scores over 140. The Bont didn’t have much of an influence against the Dees to tell the truth but influence means **** all when you’re KOTD, a 125 continuing his incredible streak of 8 tons in a row with only 2 of those being under 120. Bailey Dale continues to stamp his credentials as a legitimate forward option and his rise appears to be coming at Caleb Daniel’s expense, the herd’s cries of CD bias against the Helmut only partially true as he crawled to a paltry 61. Cody Weightman was heavily traded in last week but as expected found the going a fair bit tougher against the Dees, his 53 the lowest so far in 3 but owners will back him in to rebound against the Dockers. The first of the bye weeks shapes as the most friendly for most of us before the real shitshow begins. So much of these rounds is guided by the job security of our rookies – when we’re relying on absolute potatoes like Tom Highmore or coaches in denial like Bucks then who the **** knows what’s going to happen. Just melt, enjoy the melts of others and get ready for the ride. May the Chol be with you :moustache:

Thread starter Loose at HB
Start date Jun 3, 2021
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Jiska

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Jun 4, 2021

Staff
#282

Hava Alle said:
You think people will trade Short, Dusty and Nic Nat for 1 round? Players like RCD yes. Try and consider everybody's situations not just your own for once. FWIW I also was at a massive disadvantage last year with the Melb v Ess game.

No, of course they wouldn’t trade those players out. They’d trade other non-playing players (similar to Atkins, Jiath, Poulter).

Players you wouldn’t upgrade (or rookies you couldn’t cull) otherwise but extra trades allow you to do.

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