- Apr 2, 2012
- 9,875
- 12,377
- AFL Club
- Melbourne
- Moderator
- #1
Franchise of the year Awards 2014 Nominations:
Franchise of the year: Adelaide Football Club - Better known as the 'Camries', their ability to survive in the face of immense adversity (their major sponsor culling manufacturing operations in Australia) played a big part in their nomination. Furthermore they have consistently demonstrated the kind of take-no-reasonable-offers-for-a-key-forward-that-you-know-is-being-paid-illegally-and-that-by-refusing-this-offer-the-details-of-aforementioned-deal-get-leaked-and-your-franchise-punished-severely attitude that is present in all glorified marketing exercises.
Most Innovative Franchise: Adelaide Football Club - Using a sack of potatoes as a key forward would not be a wise strategy for many franchises, but not so for the Camries! Josh Jenkins, who most likely visited Dr Nick Riviera for surgery during the off-season to replace his feet with pineapples, has been the centrepiece of Adelaide's creative new forward line system. Kicking behinds is still kicking a score, and Jenkins is one of the best in the business at this! Exploiting this scoring loophole in the AFL system sees Adelaide getting a nod here, and they appear to be in the box seat to take the award home.
Socially Responsible Franchise: Adelaide Football Club - As an avid supporter of jobs for the senile and infirm (see: James Podsiadly and Ben Rutten) the Camries have gone above and beyond to grant opportunities to those who might miss out due to their glaring deficiencies. Their ongoing support for CEO Steven Trigg also earned them points in this category. His continuing employment has provided huge entertainment value for many sections of society.
Franchisee of the Year: Brenton Sanderson (Adelaide Football Club) - 'Slops' as he is affectionately known by wide segments of the Adelaide community has done an incredible job in his time in charge at Adelaide. From making a preliminary final in his first season he has skied straight down to the tenth rung on the premiership ladder, where they currently reside. Master of the Josh Jenkins strategem and the selling of a favoured son for a mediocre draft pick, Sanderson has displayed immense business savvy. He's also trained his charges well in picking up big wins where they can while the opposition is weak and minimising damage to human capital where losses are sustained.
Prediction: Melbourne by 100
Apologies about lateness/lack of funniness/imagination, had a few ideas but lacked the time to really put them together properly.
