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Smash 'em Max

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C

campbellimray

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Probably already posted, but what the hell:[FONT=&quot]
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  • Max Rooke was once stabbed by a knife-wielding bogan at a pub in Gheringhap Street. The knife bled to death;
  • The Twelve Apostles on the coast down past Geelong used to be the Thirteen Apostles - until Max Rooke took one of them home to put in his garden;
  • When Max Rooke was in Europe to get his hamstring fixed he also visited Pamplona to participate in the Running of the Bulls. He walked. And everyone in the town had steak for dinner that night;
  • Max Rooke can consume an entire slab of Geelong Bitter in one sitting - without opening any of the cans;
  • The four Selwood brothers are all Max Rooke's love children. He conceived the eldest one when he was five years old;
  • The car chases in 'Mad Max' were all filmed on roads in the Geelong area - they are actually documentary footage of Max Rooke driving down to the local shops to get some milk and bread;
  • Cameron Ling did not get the liquor licence for his new nightclub by sending in an application form. He just sent a picture of Max Rooke with clenched fists to the Director of Liquor Licensing;
  • Max Rooke won Race 3 on Geelong Cup day last year. He did not need a horse;
  • The Head of the River was moved from the Barwon River because Max Rooke kept winning it every year - doing backstroke.
  • Max Rooke once went to a bucks party at the Alley Cat strip club in Geelong. He ate the entire cake before he realised there was a stripper inside.
Getting excited for Saturday - CARN THE BLOODY CATTERS!

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For such a hardnut he's a such shy retiring affable bloke. Though even the great Maximus has to lower his colours when confronted with the hardness and impenetrability of the legendary Joel Selwood. ;)
 

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Lol what a p!sser. I've loved seeing max play since he started. Not because I thought he was a talented player but I loved the number 33 (a few NBA players I liked at the time)...then it turned out he was a good player...so that turned out alright. That picture of him btw looks like he's turning super saiyan lol if anyone gets the reference.
 
magic_johnson! said:
Anyone see him riding into training today already fully dressed in his training kit?
So he doesn't live in hte stadium :p
Click to expand...
maxybike2.jpg


Max returns to training after a quad strain.
 
When Max Rooke does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

Max Rooke once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.

The Q9 and Max Rooke walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.

Max Rooke can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"
 
  • The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Max Rooke has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
  • Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Max Rooke to die before they attack.
  • Some kids piss their names in the snow. Max Rooke can piss his name in concrete.
  • There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Max Rooke lives in Geelong.
  • What’s known as the UFC, or Ultimate Fighting Championship, doesn’t use its full name, which happens to be “Ultimate Fighting Championship, Non-Max-Rooke-Division.”
  • Max Rooke doesn't mow his lawn, he stands outside and dares it to grow.
  • There are only two things that can cut diamonds: other diamonds, and Max Rooke.
  • In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Max Rooke, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
  • Max Rooke doesn't move when he walks, the universe just moves around him.
  • If you want a list of Max Rooke's enemies, just check the extinct species list.
  • Max Rooke once broke the land speed record on a bicycle that was missing its chain and the back tire.
  • Max Rooke was originally considered for the part of Jesus in the Passion of the Christ. However, the director realized that Max Rooke cannot show the emotion of pain. He can only inflict it.
 
TAYLOR! said:
When Max Rooke does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

Max Rooke once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.

The Q9 and Max Rooke walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.

Max Rooke can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"
Click to expand...

It's growing...
 

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This is possibly the best thread ever.

9 stars!
 
Re: Max Rooke Facts

Nice, there is probably heaps more Maxerisms wandering around these forums as well.
 

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Re: Max Rooke Facts

bigdroppunt said:
Whenever Max kicks a goal from outside 50, seventeen women in the stands are impregnated.


Wow...father son rule is going to be sweet to us in a few years !!!
Click to expand...

but it'll be like George Foreman's kids who are nearly all named George.We'll have Max4 kicks to Max9,who handpasses to Baxter Mensch,who then handpasses to Max7 - GOAL !!! ;)
 
Re: Max Rooke Facts

There is no such thing as a lesbian. Just women who have not met Max Rooke.
 

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