I think it is time that we all took a step back and showed some love to our boy Stuart Cochrane. While he never quite showed his full potential on the football field, since beginning his coaching career at the club in 2008, Stuart has been the ultimate team man. He bleeds for this footy club, you can see it in his dreamy mesmerizing eyes he would do absolutely anything for Port Adelaide. Even after the disappointment of missing out in 2004, he continues to show his love for the club and has shown the utmost class in moving on. In fact, I know for a fact he was more excited about winning the flag than anyone who played that day, even though he wasn't even out there. I think that tells you everything you need to know about the great man.
You just know he'd always be there for the boys to provide a shoulder to cry on when things get tough and he'd be the first one there if anyone needed support. I heard that he is always present at the birth of any children our players have and often volunteers to babysit and clean up their houses free of charge. Can you honestly tell me this is not the most fantastic bloke ever to walk the earth?
Pictured: Stuie Cochrane superstar footy card. Note the seductive smile, he knows he's good.
Let's take this a step further and explore the background of our glorious spritual leader and find out just what makes him so special. Stuie was discovered on 20th July, 1978 by his foster parents in an ancient and mystical celestial vessel, believed to have been sent here by a civilisation located far, far away and much more technologically advanced than our own. Stuart showed an aptitude for almost everything he attempted from a very young age, and demonstrated amazing feats of strength that almost seemed impossible. At the age of four, Stuart was able to throw a lightly armored tank a distance of 300 metres, by the time he was five he was able to actually hold up gravity. Worried that he would be seen as an outcast by his peers, Stuart was home schooled for much of his early childhood, and generally kept at a distance from other children. At home, he was taught a specially designed football course by his father and studied 84 hours a week. His father had hoped to create a prototype perfect footballer and Stuart was developing along very nicely.
Stuart, however was becoming increasingly lonely and longed to be around others. This translated later on to his unparalleled teamsmanship and willingness to provide any help he could to those at the club who needed it. His parents begrudgingly agreed to allow him to attend a public school. Stuart excelled academically and was offered a scholarship to study at Oxford university, however his heart was set on footy and he graciously turned down the offer. Oxford were reported to be devastated to miss out on him, but were so impressed they decided to offer him a lecturer position that he could undertake via webcam, and placed him on a multi-million dollar salary. Stuart again showed his class however when he turned down the money and offered to teach free of charge. To this day Stuart is still involved with Oxford, and last year received an honorary degree from the institution.
Cochrane began his playing career with Central Districts as a junior, and in 1997, an unprecedented move saw Stuart awarded the brownlow medal although playing in a completely separate league. Being the humble man he is, Stuart decided that he would return his medal and insisted it be awarded to Robert Harvey, a player that he believed to be more deserving of the accolade.
Picked up by North Melbourne in the 1997 draft, Stuart immediately showed his club spirit and lifted his team mates to back-to-back grand finals and ultimately, the premiership in 1999. Speaking to many of those North Melbourne players, they believed it would not have been possible without him.
After a few more years at North, Stuart finally made his way to Port Adelaide, a club he knew he was always going to play for. Again, Cochrane provided an amazing boost to the club, lifting his team mates and steering the club to finals once more. In his second year on the list, he spiritually led the team to the premiership. Although he was not able to be a part of the game himself, many ex-players and experts believed that he played a key role in delivering the club a flag. Stuart was eventually delisted in 2005 and accepted the decision with the class and respect we have know to love about him.
In 2008, he returned to the club where he has remained for the last 7 years as a development and welfare coach. He has shown the same dedication and commitment that he brought to his playing career, often working well in to the early hours of the morning and often being the first one to work the next day. The man just does not rest. So while we sing the praises of Hinkley, Koch and Thomas for turning the clubs fortunes around, let us never forget the man that has worked around the clock behind the scenes through the tough times and surely has to take some of the credit for setting us back on track. Here's to you, Stu. Keep up the great work and know that we all love what you have done for our club.
You just know he'd always be there for the boys to provide a shoulder to cry on when things get tough and he'd be the first one there if anyone needed support. I heard that he is always present at the birth of any children our players have and often volunteers to babysit and clean up their houses free of charge. Can you honestly tell me this is not the most fantastic bloke ever to walk the earth?
Pictured: Stuie Cochrane superstar footy card. Note the seductive smile, he knows he's good.
Let's take this a step further and explore the background of our glorious spritual leader and find out just what makes him so special. Stuie was discovered on 20th July, 1978 by his foster parents in an ancient and mystical celestial vessel, believed to have been sent here by a civilisation located far, far away and much more technologically advanced than our own. Stuart showed an aptitude for almost everything he attempted from a very young age, and demonstrated amazing feats of strength that almost seemed impossible. At the age of four, Stuart was able to throw a lightly armored tank a distance of 300 metres, by the time he was five he was able to actually hold up gravity. Worried that he would be seen as an outcast by his peers, Stuart was home schooled for much of his early childhood, and generally kept at a distance from other children. At home, he was taught a specially designed football course by his father and studied 84 hours a week. His father had hoped to create a prototype perfect footballer and Stuart was developing along very nicely.
Stuart, however was becoming increasingly lonely and longed to be around others. This translated later on to his unparalleled teamsmanship and willingness to provide any help he could to those at the club who needed it. His parents begrudgingly agreed to allow him to attend a public school. Stuart excelled academically and was offered a scholarship to study at Oxford university, however his heart was set on footy and he graciously turned down the offer. Oxford were reported to be devastated to miss out on him, but were so impressed they decided to offer him a lecturer position that he could undertake via webcam, and placed him on a multi-million dollar salary. Stuart again showed his class however when he turned down the money and offered to teach free of charge. To this day Stuart is still involved with Oxford, and last year received an honorary degree from the institution.
Cochrane began his playing career with Central Districts as a junior, and in 1997, an unprecedented move saw Stuart awarded the brownlow medal although playing in a completely separate league. Being the humble man he is, Stuart decided that he would return his medal and insisted it be awarded to Robert Harvey, a player that he believed to be more deserving of the accolade.
Picked up by North Melbourne in the 1997 draft, Stuart immediately showed his club spirit and lifted his team mates to back-to-back grand finals and ultimately, the premiership in 1999. Speaking to many of those North Melbourne players, they believed it would not have been possible without him.
After a few more years at North, Stuart finally made his way to Port Adelaide, a club he knew he was always going to play for. Again, Cochrane provided an amazing boost to the club, lifting his team mates and steering the club to finals once more. In his second year on the list, he spiritually led the team to the premiership. Although he was not able to be a part of the game himself, many ex-players and experts believed that he played a key role in delivering the club a flag. Stuart was eventually delisted in 2005 and accepted the decision with the class and respect we have know to love about him.
In 2008, he returned to the club where he has remained for the last 7 years as a development and welfare coach. He has shown the same dedication and commitment that he brought to his playing career, often working well in to the early hours of the morning and often being the first one to work the next day. The man just does not rest. So while we sing the praises of Hinkley, Koch and Thomas for turning the clubs fortunes around, let us never forget the man that has worked around the clock behind the scenes through the tough times and surely has to take some of the credit for setting us back on track. Here's to you, Stu. Keep up the great work and know that we all love what you have done for our club.
Last edited:




