Teaching Tips for the Uninitiated!

[crocodileman]

So many have been offering me advice on what I should and shouldn't be doing in my classroom so I thought I'd post my 5 Teaching Tips just in case any of you decide to give the profession a go.

1. The best lessons are not planned.

Many a time I have gone into the classroom without any real idea what I was going to talk about in that lesson. In most cases, these were my best lessons as you constantly amaze yourself with what you can do when backed into a corner.

One famous lesson comes to mind. Monday morning, week 6, Year 12 English Studies. I was devoid of what to do as I hadn't prepared due to a big weekend. We had a TV in the room, so we deconstructed an episode of 'Days of our Lives.' Beau Brady, thanks a lot, mate.

2. If in doubt always answer a question with a question.

Teachers don't have all the answers. Some of us have few answers. But don't let the students know.

Example - Yr 12 Modern History - Unit - "The Renaissance" A student asked me this:- "Sir, was Martin Luther ordained as a Catholic priest in 1507 or 1517?"

As I hadn't revisited that chapter of the text yet, although I told the students to read it for homework, I answered, "Well when do you think it was, John? Please don't waste my time." End of problem!

3. Always look busy and you won't be asked to do additional tasks.

Whenever I leave my staff room, I carry a load of books with me. If people think you look busy, they won't ask for your assistance in other tasks. Works a charm!

4. There is no right or wrong answer in a history exam or essay.

If the student agrees with you/ is a nice person / tries hard / then you bump their marks up, particularly in non-descript assessment. Similarly, if you have a little **************** in your class, they get marked down - makes for cohesion in the group.

5. Never tell parents the truth about their child until the final report.

It's easier that way, you don't waste time in parent interviews or catch up classes. Every interim report should say that they are meeting the expectations of the subject so as you avoid the 'angry parent' syndrome (e.g. Why can't you get my son to pass this subject.) When the final report comes out, you are on holidays, uncontactable and the student will be another teacher's problem next year!

 

[hoss]

very good

 

[CharlieG]

I'm glad my teachers had higher standards... in the event that this is not a ********-take.

 

[hoss]

I'm glad my teachers had higher standards... in the event that this is not a ********-take.

I reckon there's a fair bit of tongue in cheek here. The thing with crocman however, is can you be sure it's not real.

 

[Freo Big Fella]

Very funny Mr. Nelson.

 

[crocodileman]

I reckon there's a fair bit of tongue in cheek here. The thing with crocman however, is can you be sure it's not real.

Let's just say that this formula works a treat - ask Moo's missus. She spends all day on the phone ringing in bomb threats to the school to avoid having to teach!

 

[Tim56]

Don't tell me croc of ******** is a teacher. I pity the poor kids.

 

[Moo]

Let's just say that this formula works a treat - ask Moo's missus. She spends all day on the phone ringing in bomb threats to the school to avoid having to teach!

Dont be silly Croc ....I do it for her.

 

[- PC -]

Let's just say that this formula works a treat - ask Moo's missus. She spends all day on the phone ringing in bomb threats to the school to avoid having to teach!

OK I was going to let it go as a P* take but that was downright rude IMO

Someone please ban this merkin..

 

[Weaver]

Teachers don't have all the answers. Some of us have few answers. But don't let the students know.

My dodgy teacher used to be fond of saying, "I am here to teach you how to find the answers, not to just give them to you, where do you think you could look that up?"

It was quite effective because it humiliated the student who knew all along they could have looked it up in an Encylopedia.

 

[crocodileman]

My dodgy teacher used to be fond of saying, "I am here to teach you how to find the answers, not to just give them to you, where do you think you could look that up?"

It was quite effective because it humiliated the student who knew all along they could have looked it up in an Encylopedia.

That's right Weaver, I officially tell students it's to prevent them being spoon fed and developing "learned helplessness syndrome." That it makes my job that little bit easier has nothing to do with it.

 

[Roylion]

Just as a former teacher who taught for 15-16 years in 3-4 schools, before moving into a white collar job with a local council a few years ago (which is much easier than teaching I must admit, but often not as satisfying), thought I'd make a comment on these 'teaching tips.'

1. The best lessons are not planned.

Many a time I have gone into the classroom without any real idea what I was going to talk about in that lesson. In most cases, these were my best lessons as you constantly amaze yourself with what you can do when backed into a corner.

One famous lesson comes to mind. Monday morning, week 6, Year 12 English Studies. I was devoid of what to do as I hadn't prepared due to a big weekend. We had a TV in the room, so we deconstructed an episode of 'Days of our Lives.' Beau Brady, thanks a lot, mate.

Never went into a Year 12 subject unprepared, whether it was English, History, Geography or *shudder* Australian Studies. In my view it is/was most unprofessional.

2. If in doubt always answer a question with a question.

Teachers don't have all the answers. Some of us have few answers. But don't let the students know.

Example - Yr 12 Modern History - Unit - "The Renaissance" A student asked me this:- "Sir, was Martin Luther ordained as a Catholic priest in 1507 or 1517?"

As I hadn't revisited that chapter of the text yet, although I told the students to read it for homework, I answered, "Well when do you think it was, John? Please don't waste my time." End of problem!

Probably correct. Teachers don't have all the answers. Most reasonable students understand this, especially at senior level. I did like to think that I at least knew much more than the students did.

3. Always look busy and you won't be asked to do additional tasks.

Whenever I leave my staff room, I carry a load of books with me. If people think you look busy, they won't ask for your assistance in other tasks. Works a charm!

No, it didn't/doesn't. Even if I looked busy/ was busy, people still asked for assistance.

4. There is no right or wrong answer in a history exam or essay.

If the student agrees with you/ is a nice person / tries hard / then you bump their marks up, particularly in non-descript assessment. Similarly, if you have a little **************** in your class, they get marked down - makes for cohesion in the group.

Correct in some respects. There is no right or wrong answer in a history essay, although short answer questions in a history test or exam, is a little different. However I never consciously bumped any student's marks up or down on the basis of whether I agreed with them, whether they were a nice person or whatever else.

5. Never tell parents the truth about their child until the final report.

It's easier that way, you don't waste time in parent interviews or catch up classes. Every interim report should say that they are meeting the expectations of the subject so as you avoid the 'angry parent' syndrome (e.g. Why can't you get my son to pass this subject.) When the final report comes out, you are on holidays, uncontactable and the student will be another teacher's problem next year!

Very unprofessional in my view. In my experience, most parents preferred to be told the earlier the better if their child was struggling in a subject. Most parents were happy enough, if you could pinpoint exactly where their child was doing poorly. Often they were even happier if you told them exactly how their child could lift their performance. Over the years I personally had very few problems with the "angry parent syndrome", following this simple formula.

I'll probably go back to teaching in a couple of years. I gained a great deal of satisfaction from seeing my students do well and I do miss it at times.

 

[crocodileman]

Roylion, why would a fellow Lions supporter attack me? Clearly, you have romanticised your time teaching, the longer you have been pushing paper in council.

That's why you left teaching, wasn't it? Too hard and too much preparation?

As you are a Lions fan, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, but I would leave those morning and afternoon donuts and cream buns well alone as the chemicals seem to be causing a reaction in your posts!

 

[SaveFeriss]

Sounds to me your more suited to a position on the un-employed line.

5. Never tell parents the truth about their child until the final report.

It's easier that way, you don't waste time in parent interviews or catch up classes. Every interim report should say that they are meeting the expectations of the subject so as you avoid the 'angry parent' syndrome (e.g. Why can't you get my son to pass this subject.) When the final report comes out, you are on holidays, uncontactable and the student will be another teacher's problem next year!

Do you actually understand what a teacher is?

They teach. If you want to dodge work, go on the dole.

 

[- PC -]

Roylion, why would a fellow Lions supporter attack me? Clearly, you have romanticised your time teaching, the longer you have been pushing paper in council.

That's why you left teaching, wasn't it? Too hard and too much preparation?

As you are a Lions fan, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, but I would leave those morning and afternoon donuts and cream buns well alone as the chemicals seem to be causing a reaction in your posts!

So by your logic nah you dont have any..

A persons support of a particular club in your eyes makes them holier than thou?

Weird...afc9798 has a go at me as he should if he doesnt agree with what I say...play the ball croc not the man.

 

[Roylion]

Roylion, why would a fellow Lions supporter attack me? Clearly, you have romanticised your time teaching, the longer you have been pushing paper in council.

No, not really. When I was teaching I was professional. There is a difference.

That's why you left teaching, wasn't it? Too hard and too much preparation?

It is a difficult job. I taught for 15-16 years straight. I wanted to do something different for a while. I'll probably go back to teaching in a couple of years, as I do miss it, despite the heavier workload.

Preparation was the easy part. Most of it was done during the holidays. It was the mountains of correction especially in the lead-up to Year 12 exams that at times was hard to battle through. Many times I sat up until midnight correcting practice exams and other pieces of assessment.

What I'm doing now is easier. I do have a lunch hour now. I don't take work home. I don't work during my holidays, even though they are now only 4 weeks a year.

As you are a Lions fan, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, but I would leave those morning and afternoon donuts and cream buns well alone as the chemicals seem to be causing a reaction in your posts!

Sorry, I don't eat donuts or cream buns. You'll have to make something else up.

 

[Goldenblue]

Don't tell me croc of ******** is a teacher. I pity the poor kids.

Me too....and teachers are one of my least favourite people.

 

[Bombers 2003]

So many have been offering me advice on what I should and shouldn't be doing in my classroom so I thought I'd post my 5 Teaching Tips just in case any of you decide to give the profession a go.

1. The best lessons are not planned.

Many a time I have gone into the classroom without any real idea what I was going to talk about in that lesson. In most cases, these were my best lessons as you constantly amaze yourself with what you can do when backed into a corner.

One famous lesson comes to mind. Monday morning, week 6, Year 12 English Studies. I was devoid of what to do as I hadn't prepared due to a big weekend. We had a TV in the room, so we deconstructed an episode of 'Days of our Lives.' Beau Brady, thanks a lot, mate.

2. If in doubt always answer a question with a question.

Teachers don't have all the answers. Some of us have few answers. But don't let the students know.

Example - Yr 12 Modern History - Unit - "The Renaissance" A student asked me this:- "Sir, was Martin Luther ordained as a Catholic priest in 1507 or 1517?"

As I hadn't revisited that chapter of the text yet, although I told the students to read it for homework, I answered, "Well when do you think it was, John? Please don't waste my time." End of problem!

3. Always look busy and you won't be asked to do additional tasks.

Whenever I leave my staff room, I carry a load of books with me. If people think you look busy, they won't ask for your assistance in other tasks. Works a charm!

4. There is no right or wrong answer in a history exam or essay.

If the student agrees with you/ is a nice person / tries hard / then you bump their marks up, particularly in non-descript assessment. Similarly, if you have a little **************** in your class, they get marked down - makes for cohesion in the group.

5. Never tell parents the truth about their child until the final report.

It's easier that way, you don't waste time in parent interviews or catch up classes. Every interim report should say that they are meeting the expectations of the subject so as you avoid the 'angry parent' syndrome (e.g. Why can't you get my son to pass this subject.) When the final report comes out, you are on holidays, uncontactable and the student will be another teacher's problem next year!

Unfortunatly i know a lot of teachers who actually believe that's the way to teach.

 

[Bombers 2003]

Let's just say that this formula works a treat - ask Moo's missus. She spends all day on the phone ringing in bomb threats to the school to avoid having to teach!

So 'Moo's missus is a teacher?.

 

[Bombers 2003]

Crocofcrap is a Teacher?.GOD!!!!!!.I'm glad He/She/It doesnt teach in Victoria.

 

[crocodileman]

Crocofcrap is a Teacher?.GOD!!!!!!.I'm glad He/She/It doesnt teach in Victoria.

Bombers2003 - clearly you don't know how to cut corners - you have just posted 3 times and it could all have been condensed into 1 post. A bit of a waste - much like Victoria!

 

[jmerino]

You give Lions members a bad name.

A teacher, I don't think so, a croc of ******** yes.

 

[afc9798]

So by your logic nah you dont have any..

A persons support of a particular club in your eyes makes them holier than thou?

Weird...afc9798 has a go at me as he should if he doesnt agree with what I say...play the ball croc not the man.

You should be honoured that I deem it worthy of you to receive my rebukes.

 

[afc9798]

Don't tell me croc of ******** is a teacher. I pity the poor kids.

We allow you to masquerade as a human being, so why not let Croc live out his teaching fantasies.Speaking of teaching fantasies.....no, that's another story

 

[crocodileman]

We allow you to masquerade as a human being, so why not let Croc live out his teaching fantasies.Speaking of teaching fantasies.....no, that's another story

Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus!