The Midyear Report

[CF]

http://www.geelongblog.com/wp/?p=2916

What an amazing start to the season it has been for Geelong in 2011. Written off by everyone after Collingwood smashed us in last years Preliminary Final, followed by departures from Gary Ablett, Brendan McCartney, and Mark Thompson. Not to mention the end of Frank Costa’s reign as President! It all seemed things were turning for the club that had dominated the AFL for 4 seasons. The football media had the coffin all ready to go for the funeral, all they needed was the corpse.

http://www.geelongblog.com/wp/?p=2916

 

[Jimmy Yamazaki]

Great write up! Certainly couldn't have asked for a better start to the season and hope we can go deeper in September then we did last year!

 

[AM]

Fascinating piece CF.

Nice to see a much less value-laden and therefore more reasonable assessment of Tomahawk.

 

[Boxhead_31]

A great write up CF a very well thought out piece a really good read

 

[dazbroncos]

Nice form there CF....

Maybe give Mike Sheehan a call and tell him this is how its done.....

Good info and write up....

Go Catters

 

[leorex]

Good piece

yep strap ourselves in for a ride




just one thing with Hawkin is that are there any special hand strenghtening excercises that he can do to help him mark better.
Improve his grasping.

 

[The rabbi]

Good piece

yep strap ourselves in for a ride




just one thing with Hawkin is that are there any special hand strenghtening excercises that he can do to help him mark better.
Improve his grasping.

I don't think that strength is the problem. It is probably more to do with confidence and technique.

 

[you pick one]

I don't think that strength is the problem. It is probably more to do with confidence and technique.

Anybody know the phone number of the Qld guru that sorted out Bill Brownless in the early 90's? maybe ask Bill

 

[James1970]

Speaking of reports, here's one that was sent to me late last year headed The Fix(ture)...(apologies for the length)

Late last year...

Adrian Anderson is making his way through the corridors of the AFL, towards the lift that will take him to the top floor, where Andrew Demetriou resides in his sparkly new office. Under his arm is the new fixture for the 2011 season, faxed to him the night before from Eddie McGuire, with a note attached - 'Good work Andrew. Apart from the usual spelling mistakes, I can't see any problems at all. Feel free to release to Adrian and the media. Enjoy your Christmas in the Bahamas, and we'll see you next year. You friend, Eddie. Go Pies!'

As the lift doors open, Adrian nods politely to the five secretaries, Chef Renaldo, who's sorting out the lunch menu, and Jake, the massuer, who has just finished the usual 10am rubdown. Abigail, secretary #2, buzzes through to Demetriou to let him know his Adrian is here. The office door opens...

Demetriou: Come in Son, come in. Sit down. Well, did you get the fax from Eddie? Looks like he's happy. So he f***'in should be. Took me all afternoon, but I got it done. Best fix-cha 'eva. They should be hangin' it in the f***'in Loover.

Anderson: I think it's called the Louvre, Sir.

D: Wha..? Loover, Louvre. Who f***'in cares. It's un-real, Son. Have you seen it? I just can't believe it. It's more beautiful than room full of Caro's. Can you believe it? C'mon tell me. Can you believe it?

A: Nah....nah, can't believe it Sir.

D: Picture it Son. The big four - back in town. What we've been working towards these past 10 years. Finally. Collingwood. Carlton. Essendon. Richmond. All timed to per-f***'in-fection, with those c***ts from Seven who will now be bending over backwards to give me my one billion. God, I'm lovin' it. Just lovin' it.

Adrian looks down at his polished shoes, twitching in his seat.

D: Son, what's on your mind? You seem stressed. Is it the new rule changes? I told ya', don't worry about it. Keeps the staff on their toes, and the mugs in the outer something to read in the papers each day. Those than can read, mind you. Ha! Ha! Ha!...C'mon, what's up?

A: Well, Sir. It's the f..f..f..fixture.

D: Wha?

A: The fixture, Sir.

D: Ya' joshin' me, Son, and you of all people know I dont like be joshed. Remember last time?

A: Sorry, Sir. But see, I've gone through it all...

D: Yeah...

A: ..and, well, it's Geelong.

D: Wha? Geelong? Oh, Son, don't get me started. Don't get me f***'in started.

A: But, but, Sir. Don't you think it's a bit harsh? It'll be the fourth year in a row that they've had a rough deal of it. Naturally, we don't want them up and about, but by gimmity, I don't think they deserve what's here.

D: Oh, Adrian, Adrian, Adrian. You, Son, really are a funny bugger. Geelong, hey. What? Two Premierships not enough for those bumpkins? Two Brownlows? all those "All Australians"? F*** 'em. I hate 'em. I've had a gutful of their 'we play the game the way it should be played' bulls***. Those bastards refused to play ball with us, so let 'em rot.

A: I'm not sure what you mean, Sir. They refused to play...

D: Tanking Son. Tanking!!! All teams must tank if they want a big piece of the pie, and those mungrels down the highway didn't play ball. They refused to tank. They gotta pay.

A: But, Sir. One could say they saved the game.

D: (Banging his fist on his desk and shouting) Anderson!!! Saved the game??? One more silly quip like that Son, and I'll be bringin' out the bag of oranges.

A: Don't get me wrong, Sir. The last thing I want to see is another Cats final. I just don't think we need to go in so hard with the fixturing. It just seems too obvious. Plus, keep in mind what we've already done.

D: (Calming down) Yeah, how beautiful was that. I must admit, I didn't think we could pull it off. Gazza we sorted out anyway. No way was an Ablett gonna refuse any dough, and the way he played the media right up until the end was as stunning as Caro on Brownlow night. But Bomber? Geez, what a coup. Plus his right hand man. All in a few days. As long as Bomber keeps his wirey mouth shut, we should all be fine and dandy.

A: So why, Sir, go in so hard with the fixturing? We've got rid of their coach, their top asisstant coach and their best player. The green-grocer will be gone, and half the team will need walking sticks and glasses by the time the Queen's Birthday Weekend rolls along.

D: Queen's Birthday. Thanks for reminding me. (Shouting out) Abigail - don't forget to book the usual suite at Monaco. Same time. Where was I...look Son. I had to do it. Those Catty pricks refused to go down. Sure, it worked out on Prelim day. Geez, we had it sorted with the Linga free two weeks before. But I don't trust 'em. That smart-arse Cookie, he needs sortin' out.

A: Cookie. The one and only bloke who refused the offer. Geez, boss. The look on your face that dark day. You offerede him the world. A new franchise, fun in the sun, all the frills he would ever want. I really thought the bottom draw was going to be opened.

D: Was about to Son, but I just had the new carpet laid. C'mon sit next to me Son, and we'll go through it all round by round.

A: OK. Round One - Saints.

D: Yeah. MCG, Friday night. Cats with a new coach and an old team. No Gazza. Saints will do it easy. Especially with such a quiet off-field Summer we've planned for them after last year's fiasco. Plus, I've just spoken to Vicroads, who have agreed to work on West Gate, and close a few lanes for us. Keep in mind - we've gotta hurt 'em off-field as well as on.

A: Round Two - Fremantle, in Fremantle.

D: Yeah - gotta get 'em interstate early. New coach, no Gazza. Fremantle a shoo-in at home.

A: Round Three - Port at Skilled.

D: Yeah, I admit. I tried everything here, but Port was the only one available to play that day. But keep in mind. New coach, no Gazza, old team and Port was the last team to win down at that hole. It'll be close one.

A: I think Geelong will win that one.

D: Yeah, maybe, but I've got 'em back on the plane with a six-day-turn-around. Must admit, I chuckled over that one.

A: Yes, Sydney, Saturday night. A small break then Hawthorn in Round 5.

D: Love it. See the start I've given the Hawks? Crows, Port, Tigers, West Coast. Ha, ha, ha. The unda-feet-ed knocking off with ease the arch rival.

A: But the Hawks haven't beaten the Cats since 2008.

D: Son, you keep forgetting. New coach, no Gazza, old team. And by this stage, they'll be bottom four, it not bottom. I still think Port have a chance.

A: Ok. I see they have a bye in Round 6, then at home against North.

D: What a cracker! The two cellar dwellers tryin' to win a first game. Jesus - Cats lose this, and those ferals will be tearing down that new Bunnings they've put up in the pocket.

A: Then it's the Pies, Friday night.

D: Have you noticed?

A: Noticed what, Sir?

D: The Pies. I've given them the previous week off.

A: Oh, yes. Not too soft though? I notice that you've given the current Premiers a fairly easy run to start off. Port, Kangas, Blues, Tigers, Bombers, Dogs - all bar one at the G, and that bar one just down the road.

D: Anderson, what planet are you on? It's Eddie's Pies. Eddie!!! When he's happy, I'm happy. When I'm happy, I'm rich. When I'm rich, Eddie's rich.

A: Ok. So by Round 8, The Cats will be bottom four, with probably two wins.

D: Maybe one, I'm still like'n Port. So new coach, no Gazza, old side - one win, maybe two. Bee-u-t-i-ful. They'll Then the new rampaging Blues.

A: Yes, Round 9. I see you've also given then the previous week off to rest up.

D: Ha! Ha! Ha! Yeah, couldn't help myself. God, I'm good. Then I've set up the Gold Coast game - first one at Carrara. Gazza's milestone too, the little champ. Hey, I wouldn't mind putting some on the new boys that night.

A: Really, Sir?

D: Why not? By the time Round 10 comes along, the pussy-wussy flea bags will be getting off the smelling salts, and soaking in their own piss, or whatever they drink down there. 10 losses, OK, maybe 8, could be 9, new coach, no Gazza, old players. Ha! Ha! Ha!

A: The the Dogs at Skilled. Why Skilled? Dogs haven't played there in years.

D: Exactly Son. About friggin' f***'in time we got rid of this 'cattery' BS strangehold that's been built up, WITHOUT OUR SAY-SO, over the past few years. I'm tellin' ya Son, I've had enough of it. Cattery. They'll be callin' in the battery after Round 10. That new coach, the poor bugger who ever he'll be, will be hog-tied and ass-popped just like that movie we caught up at Noosa last month. Delinquents.

A: Deliverance, Sir.

D: Wha?
A: Deliverance. The Delinquents was a Kylie Minogue movie.

D: Kylie? Haven't seen it, but I love Kylie. A great Aussie girl. What an ass on her, hey. But she's no Caro. Maybe we can get her for the Pies v Blues Granny this year.

A: Caro?

D: Kylie!!! Ha! Ha! Ha! You're a funny bugger when you want to be Son. Caro. Then again, maybe Caro can do a sing and dance before the big one. I've certainly dreamt of that before my big one. Ha! Ha! Ha! God I'm funny. Anyway where were we? Geelong, that's right. F*** it, I'm gonna go for 10 straight losses. Make 'em pay. Make 'em cry. Make 'em suffa.

A: Is that why you have lined them up against Hawthorn and St.Kilda again? Both on Saturday nights?

D: So?

A: They've yet to play half the competition! It just doesn't sit well with me.

D: Doesn't sit well with you? With you? Who's comp is this Anderson? Who's?

A: Your's Sir.

D: ....and...

A: Eddie's.

D: Correct. Mine and Eddie's. Coulda been Cookies as well, if he was smart. Not a smart Cookie. Ha! Ha! Ha! Better write that one down. If me and Eddie wanted an even competition, sure, we'd have each team play each other before playing again. Only fair. But guess what Son? Would Eddie and I be happy?

A: No Sir.

D: Would Eddie and I be rich?

A: Well...

D: Funny boy, son. Funny boy. Look, by the time Rounds 13, 14, 15 and so on come along, the Pussies will be the comp's punchin' bag. What they would have thought as easy games will no longer be so. Languishing at the bottom. My dream will finally come true. Geelong will win the Wooden Spoon! Hell, even my Caro dream may come true, too! Ha! Ha! Ha!

A: I guess so Sir.

D: See the last game they play? Maggies. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! The unda-feeted against the un-winn-able. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

A: I see that Sir.

D: Hey - it's the last round. Why don't we play it down at the buggery? It''l be a great last game to remember for those tossers - Ling, Moons, Scarlo, Otto. Geez, I might even travel down myself in the limo if there's no opera that night. Then again. No, not right. Wouldn't do that to Eddie. Couldn't have the Pies travelling so far a week before finals. Jesus, what was I thinking? God, don't tell Eddie I said that. He'd kill me. Better let him win at golf on Tuesday.

A: OK. So Cats for the Wooden Spoon. Won't that mean higer draft picks.

D: Anderson - GWS.

A: Oh, yeah, that's right. GWS.

Silence enters the room as a thought crosses Andrew's mind.

A: Wouldn't be funny.

D: Funny? What could be funny.

A: Oh, I was just thinking, wouldn't if be funny if Geelong started the season with a new coach, a new fitness department, a new head-honcho, with no Gazza...

D: ...and what?

A: ....and win nearly every game....

D: Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

A: ....finish a few games clear on top of the ladder...D: Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Stop it Andrew, stop it...

A: ...then smash their way to a Pies Granny...

D: Andrew!!! Ha! Ha! Ha! You're killing me, Ha! Ha! Ha!

A: .... then thump Collingwood and claim a third Premiership in five years...

BANG!!! BANG!!! BANG!!!

The thumping of fist on desk continues on...

D: Anderson!!!

A: Sorry, Sir. I went too far.

D: Yes you have. But apology accepted Son. You know I don't like jokes that involve Eddie's Pies.

A: Yes, I know.

D: Good. Now, back to work we go. On your way out, get Jake back in here, my thighs have been tight all week. And tell Renaldo I'll have the seafood platter for lunch, with two bottles of the usual white.

A: Yes, Sir.

D: Actually, get Abigail in here instead of Jake. For an extra grand I can get her in the Caro mask and outfit.

A: Yes, Sir.

D: Oh, and Adrian. Send a few bottles of the good stuff to Gazza and Bomber. They've done right by me, I'll do right by them.

A: Yes, Sir. Will do.

D: Better ring Eddie and see if he's up for a game of golf this arvo. Go Pies!

A: Go Pies.

D: Money! Money! Money! God I'm happy. God I'm good. God I can't wait to see the Cats go down. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

A: I'm happy that you're happy Sir.

D: Aren't well all Son, aren't we all.

 

[InnocentBystandr]

That's a cracker! Probably true too!

 

[Scottland2007]

http://www.geelongblog.com/wp/?p=2916



http://www.geelongblog.com/wp/?p=2916

Can't believe you have Scarlo outside your top 10? I would have him in the top 5.

1. Bartell (this bloke seems to have been waiting for a chance to shine and the absence of a bald headed bloke has given him what he needs).

2. Selwood. Quiet start to the year due to a massive head knock.

3. Steve Johnson. 7 goals. Nuff said.

4. Chapman. The other bald headed bloke. Also seems to have been waiting for a chance to shine.

5. Scarlo. His set up out of the back line is hugely important. Kicked a goal while resting in full forward last week. (Do fullbacks rest at full forward)?

6. Wojo. Great first game for the year. (Had to put Wojo in, he has grown since Bomber left).

 

[Scottland2007]

Speaking of reports, here's one that was sent to me late last year headed The Fix(ture)...(apologies for the length)

Late last year...

Adrian Anderson is making his way through the corridors of the AFL, towards the lift that will take him to the top floor, where Andrew Demetriou resides in his sparkly new office. Under his arm is the new fixture for the 2011 season, faxed to him the night before from Eddie McGuire, with a note attached - 'Good work Andrew. Apart from the usual spelling mistakes, I can't see any problems at all. Feel free to release to Adrian and the media. Enjoy your Christmas in the Bahamas, and we'll see you next year. You friend, Eddie. Go Pies!'

As the lift doors open, Adrian nods politely to the five secretaries, Chef Renaldo, who's sorting out the lunch menu, and Jake, the massuer, who has just finished the usual 10am rubdown. Abigail, secretary #2, buzzes through to Demetriou to let him know his Adrian is here. The office door opens...

Demetriou: Come in Son, come in. Sit down. Well, did you get the fax from Eddie? Looks like he's happy. So he f***'in should be. Took me all afternoon, but I got it done. Best fix-cha 'eva. They should be hangin' it in the f***'in Loover.

Anderson: I think it's called the Louvre, Sir.

D: Wha..? Loover, Louvre. Who f***'in cares. It's un-real, Son. Have you seen it? I just can't believe it. It's more beautiful than room full of Caro's. Can you believe it? C'mon tell me. Can you believe it?

A: Nah....nah, can't believe it Sir.

D: Picture it Son. The big four - back in town. What we've been working towards these past 10 years. Finally. Collingwood. Carlton. Essendon. Richmond. All timed to per-f***'in-fection, with those c***ts from Seven who will now be bending over backwards to give me my one billion. God, I'm lovin' it. Just lovin' it.

Adrian looks down at his polished shoes, twitching in his seat.

D: Son, what's on your mind? You seem stressed. Is it the new rule changes? I told ya', don't worry about it. Keeps the staff on their toes, and the mugs in the outer something to read in the papers each day. Those than can read, mind you. Ha! Ha! Ha!...C'mon, what's up?

A: Well, Sir. It's the f..f..f..fixture.

D: Wha?

A: The fixture, Sir.

D: Ya' joshin' me, Son, and you of all people know I dont like be joshed. Remember last time?

A: Sorry, Sir. But see, I've gone through it all...

D: Yeah...

A: ..and, well, it's Geelong.

D: Wha? Geelong? Oh, Son, don't get me started. Don't get me f***'in started.

A: But, but, Sir. Don't you think it's a bit harsh? It'll be the fourth year in a row that they've had a rough deal of it. Naturally, we don't want them up and about, but by gimmity, I don't think they deserve what's here.

D: Oh, Adrian, Adrian, Adrian. You, Son, really are a funny bugger. Geelong, hey. What? Two Premierships not enough for those bumpkins? Two Brownlows? all those "All Australians"? F*** 'em. I hate 'em. I've had a gutful of their 'we play the game the way it should be played' bulls***. Those bastards refused to play ball with us, so let 'em rot.

A: I'm not sure what you mean, Sir. They refused to play...

D: Tanking Son. Tanking!!! All teams must tank if they want a big piece of the pie, and those mungrels down the highway didn't play ball. They refused to tank. They gotta pay.

A: But, Sir. One could say they saved the game.

D: (Banging his fist on his desk and shouting) Anderson!!! Saved the game??? One more silly quip like that Son, and I'll be bringin' out the bag of oranges.

A: Don't get me wrong, Sir. The last thing I want to see is another Cats final. I just don't think we need to go in so hard with the fixturing. It just seems too obvious. Plus, keep in mind what we've already done.

D: (Calming down) Yeah, how beautiful was that. I must admit, I didn't think we could pull it off. Gazza we sorted out anyway. No way was an Ablett gonna refuse any dough, and the way he played the media right up until the end was as stunning as Caro on Brownlow night. But Bomber? Geez, what a coup. Plus his right hand man. All in a few days. As long as Bomber keeps his wirey mouth shut, we should all be fine and dandy.

A: So why, Sir, go in so hard with the fixturing? We've got rid of their coach, their top asisstant coach and their best player. The green-grocer will be gone, and half the team will need walking sticks and glasses by the time the Queen's Birthday Weekend rolls along.

D: Queen's Birthday. Thanks for reminding me. (Shouting out) Abigail - don't forget to book the usual suite at Monaco. Same time. Where was I...look Son. I had to do it. Those Catty pricks refused to go down. Sure, it worked out on Prelim day. Geez, we had it sorted with the Linga free two weeks before. But I don't trust 'em. That smart-arse Cookie, he needs sortin' out.

A: Cookie. The one and only bloke who refused the offer. Geez, boss. The look on your face that dark day. You offerede him the world. A new franchise, fun in the sun, all the frills he would ever want. I really thought the bottom draw was going to be opened.

D: Was about to Son, but I just had the new carpet laid. C'mon sit next to me Son, and we'll go through it all round by round.

A: OK. Round One - Saints.

D: Yeah. MCG, Friday night. Cats with a new coach and an old team. No Gazza. Saints will do it easy. Especially with such a quiet off-field Summer we've planned for them after last year's fiasco. Plus, I've just spoken to Vicroads, who have agreed to work on West Gate, and close a few lanes for us. Keep in mind - we've gotta hurt 'em off-field as well as on.

A: Round Two - Fremantle, in Fremantle.

D: Yeah - gotta get 'em interstate early. New coach, no Gazza. Fremantle a shoo-in at home.

A: Round Three - Port at Skilled.

D: Yeah, I admit. I tried everything here, but Port was the only one available to play that day. But keep in mind. New coach, no Gazza, old team and Port was the last team to win down at that hole. It'll be close one.

A: I think Geelong will win that one.

D: Yeah, maybe, but I've got 'em back on the plane with a six-day-turn-around. Must admit, I chuckled over that one.

A: Yes, Sydney, Saturday night. A small break then Hawthorn in Round 5.

D: Love it. See the start I've given the Hawks? Crows, Port, Tigers, West Coast. Ha, ha, ha. The unda-feet-ed knocking off with ease the arch rival.

A: But the Hawks haven't beaten the Cats since 2008.

D: Son, you keep forgetting. New coach, no Gazza, old team. And by this stage, they'll be bottom four, it not bottom. I still think Port have a chance.

A: Ok. I see they have a bye in Round 6, then at home against North.

D: What a cracker! The two cellar dwellers tryin' to win a first game. Jesus - Cats lose this, and those ferals will be tearing down that new Bunnings they've put up in the pocket.

A: Then it's the Pies, Friday night.

D: Have you noticed?

A: Noticed what, Sir?

D: The Pies. I've given them the previous week off.

A: Oh, yes. Not too soft though? I notice that you've given the current Premiers a fairly easy run to start off. Port, Kangas, Blues, Tigers, Bombers, Dogs - all bar one at the G, and that bar one just down the road.

D: Anderson, what planet are you on? It's Eddie's Pies. Eddie!!! When he's happy, I'm happy. When I'm happy, I'm rich. When I'm rich, Eddie's rich.

A: Ok. So by Round 8, The Cats will be bottom four, with probably two wins.

D: Maybe one, I'm still like'n Port. So new coach, no Gazza, old side - one win, maybe two. Bee-u-t-i-ful. They'll Then the new rampaging Blues.

A: Yes, Round 9. I see you've also given then the previous week off to rest up.

D: Ha! Ha! Ha! Yeah, couldn't help myself. God, I'm good. Then I've set up the Gold Coast game - first one at Carrara. Gazza's milestone too, the little champ. Hey, I wouldn't mind putting some on the new boys that night.

A: Really, Sir?

D: Why not? By the time Round 10 comes along, the pussy-wussy flea bags will be getting off the smelling salts, and soaking in their own piss, or whatever they drink down there. 10 losses, OK, maybe 8, could be 9, new coach, no Gazza, old players. Ha! Ha! Ha!

A: The the Dogs at Skilled. Why Skilled? Dogs haven't played there in years.

D: Exactly Son. About friggin' f***'in time we got rid of this 'cattery' BS strangehold that's been built up, WITHOUT OUR SAY-SO, over the past few years. I'm tellin' ya Son, I've had enough of it. Cattery. They'll be callin' in the battery after Round 10. That new coach, the poor bugger who ever he'll be, will be hog-tied and ass-popped just like that movie we caught up at Noosa last month. Delinquents.

A: Deliverance, Sir.

D: Wha?
A: Deliverance. The Delinquents was a Kylie Minogue movie.

D: Kylie? Haven't seen it, but I love Kylie. A great Aussie girl. What an ass on her, hey. But she's no Caro. Maybe we can get her for the Pies v Blues Granny this year.

A: Caro?

D: Kylie!!! Ha! Ha! Ha! You're a funny bugger when you want to be Son. Caro. Then again, maybe Caro can do a sing and dance before the big one. I've certainly dreamt of that before my big one. Ha! Ha! Ha! God I'm funny. Anyway where were we? Geelong, that's right. F*** it, I'm gonna go for 10 straight losses. Make 'em pay. Make 'em cry. Make 'em suffa.

A: Is that why you have lined them up against Hawthorn and St.Kilda again? Both on Saturday nights?

D: So?

A: They've yet to play half the competition! It just doesn't sit well with me.

D: Doesn't sit well with you? With you? Who's comp is this Anderson? Who's?

A: Your's Sir.

D: ....and...

A: Eddie's.

D: Correct. Mine and Eddie's. Coulda been Cookies as well, if he was smart. Not a smart Cookie. Ha! Ha! Ha! Better write that one down. If me and Eddie wanted an even competition, sure, we'd have each team play each other before playing again. Only fair. But guess what Son? Would Eddie and I be happy?

A: No Sir.

D: Would Eddie and I be rich?

A: Well...

D: Funny boy, son. Funny boy. Look, by the time Rounds 13, 14, 15 and so on come along, the Pussies will be the comp's punchin' bag. What they would have thought as easy games will no longer be so. Languishing at the bottom. My dream will finally come true. Geelong will win the Wooden Spoon! Hell, even my Caro dream may come true, too! Ha! Ha! Ha!

A: I guess so Sir.

D: See the last game they play? Maggies. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! The unda-feeted against the un-winn-able. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

A: I see that Sir.

D: Hey - it's the last round. Why don't we play it down at the buggery? It''l be a great last game to remember for those tossers - Ling, Moons, Scarlo, Otto. Geez, I might even travel down myself in the limo if there's no opera that night. Then again. No, not right. Wouldn't do that to Eddie. Couldn't have the Pies travelling so far a week before finals. Jesus, what was I thinking? God, don't tell Eddie I said that. He'd kill me. Better let him win at golf on Tuesday.

A: OK. So Cats for the Wooden Spoon. Won't that mean higer draft picks.

D: Anderson - GWS.

A: Oh, yeah, that's right. GWS.

Silence enters the room as a thought crosses Andrew's mind.

A: Wouldn't be funny.

D: Funny? What could be funny.

A: Oh, I was just thinking, wouldn't if be funny if Geelong started the season with a new coach, a new fitness department, a new head-honcho, with no Gazza...

D: ...and what?

A: ....and win nearly every game....

D: Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

A: ....finish a few games clear on top of the ladder...D: Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Stop it Andrew, stop it...

A: ...then smash their way to a Pies Granny...

D: Andrew!!! Ha! Ha! Ha! You're killing me, Ha! Ha! Ha!

A: .... then thump Collingwood and claim a third Premiership in five years...

BANG!!! BANG!!! BANG!!!

The thumping of fist on desk continues on...

D: Anderson!!!

A: Sorry, Sir. I went too far.

D: Yes you have. But apology accepted Son. You know I don't like jokes that involve Eddie's Pies.

A: Yes, I know.

D: Good. Now, back to work we go. On your way out, get Jake back in here, my thighs have been tight all week. And tell Renaldo I'll have the seafood platter for lunch, with two bottles of the usual white.

A: Yes, Sir.

D: Actually, get Abigail in here instead of Jake. For an extra grand I can get her in the Caro mask and outfit.

A: Yes, Sir.

D: Oh, and Adrian. Send a few bottles of the good stuff to Gazza and Bomber. They've done right by me, I'll do right by them.

A: Yes, Sir. Will do.

D: Better ring Eddie and see if he's up for a game of golf this arvo. Go Pies!

A: Go Pies.

D: Money! Money! Money! God I'm happy. God I'm good. God I can't wait to see the Cats go down. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

A: I'm happy that you're happy Sir.

D: Aren't well all Son, aren't we all.

What a cracker!

 

[Belisarius]

Good article / assessment.

Just have to have a slight disagreement with the best team and the order of some of the players.

Scarlett has been, will always be, in our top 10 ten players. Just so good he is overlooked by many - just makes it look too easy sometimes. He is as good as Gary Jnr - in their respective positions. History will treat Matthew Scarlett well IMO.

THunt I think adds a bit more overall to JHunt. Although last week enjoyed Josh's physicality. If he would only use his big left foot more ... (for good) !

With Bundy to come back, maybe Byrnes - we have some depth at the club now. We can cover quite a few positions if injury happens.

I would still like to see our VFL side play better and be more of a cohesive force - and provide a more competitive experience for those coming into the Senior side.

And I thought we would probably need - going forward - one of Gillies or Drum to make it. Both seem unlikely at present.

Otherwise - it has been an incredible run. We have experienced the greatest ever H & A seasons (5) that has ever been seen. Sure '08 Premiership would have just been perfect - but all the same - are we Cat supporters enjoying this unbelievable run ? Hope so.

With so many things that could have derailed us as a club - the loss of Ablett, Egan, Thompson, McCarthy, Costa, and even Mumford - and more - we have prevailed.

Thank God for Cook, Balme and Wells. May their names go on a stand one day - with Costa's.

If we could win a flag this year - '08 could be relagated further into the past. I am not sure I can believe that 2011 could be our year (even though I never subscribed a major fall this year - I thought 4th).

If Vardy can actually become a consistently good player at CHF - well I might just believe our H & A success may also be emulated by our Premiership success. 3 Premierships in 5 years is very good going.

 

[terry_bright]

A pretty good summary I have to say.

Having Tommy Lonergan outside our best 18 is extremely harsh to say the least. Has had a great year so far and been far superior to Taylor particularly in shutting down the key forwards from the opposition. I would have him around 13 on your list, above Taylor, Mackie, J.Hunt, Varcoe & Duncan.
Scarlett I would probably have higher also but all those you list above him have a strong case to be where they are.