Restricted Free Agent
President of the Conor Nash fan club
Throughout the seasons, there’s always been some friendly competition as to who is the most experienced Sweet F.A. player. Now of course, we could just look at the facts and see who’s played the most games, but **** that. After years of careful, meticulous research I have created a conclusive way to quantify one’s Sweet F.A. experience: The Qice Purity Test.
Everyone starts with 100 points and you subtract one point for everything you’ve done on the below list. All dot points have the same value even though obviously winning the Fred medal is harder than playing a game of Qooty. It’s an inherently flawed system, but if you wanted streamlined logic and a system which made sense you wouldn’t be in the Sweet F.A. Would you? At the end of this you then get a number between 100 and 0.
Everyone starts with 100 points and you subtract one point for everything you’ve done on the below list. All dot points have the same value even though obviously winning the Fred medal is harder than playing a game of Qooty. It’s an inherently flawed system, but if you wanted streamlined logic and a system which made sense you wouldn’t be in the Sweet F.A. Would you? At the end of this you then get a number between 100 and 0.
| 100-90: Sweet Rookie | An absolute Sweet F.A. Newbie. Very nebbish, not much fun at parties, probably doesn’t even know what ruour means |
| 89-70: Sweet Sophomore | You think you’re top shit, but you’re really not much more experienced than a rookie. Still not very fun at parties, but unlike rookies, you get invited, more out of pity than anything else. |
| 69-40: Sweet Middle Ground | You’ve been around for a bit and people more or less know who you are. Maybe even won a flag (unless you play for the Gumbies) |
| 39-30: Sweet Senior | You’re very well known, you’ve got lots of experience within the league. You're the ones who bully the rookies at parties. |
| 29-10: Sweet Legend | An absolute household name. People know who you are, and unless you’re Natural Disaster, they respect you. Rookies fear you, Seniors want to be you, your family wants you to get off your computer and go outside. |
| 9-0: Mobbs himself | Pretty self-explanatory this one... |
So what are you waiting for? Go on and do the test and share your score!
- You’ve played a game of Qooty (unofficial such as club tours, pre-season etc. included)
- You’ve played a game of Qooty for premiership points
- You’ve started on the field in a game of Qooty for premiership points
- You’re currently are on the list for a Qooty club
- > 5 clubs have tried to recruit you
- You committed to signing with a club before posting in the new players thread
- You’ve participated in a Qooty tour
- You’ve posted in > 5 threads on the Sweet F.A. board
- You’ve posted in your club’s team thread
- You’ve had a kick in a game of Qooty for premiership points
- You’ve had a handball in a game of Qooty for premiership points
- You’ve kicked a goal in a game of Qooty for premiership points
- You’ve had a hitout in a game of Qooty for premiership points
- You’ve laid a tackle in a game of Qooty for premiership points
- You’ve got a free kick in a game of Qooty for premiership points
- You’ve given away a free kick in a game of Qooty for premiership points
- You’ve had more than 15 disposals in a game of Qooty for premiership points
- You’ve had more than 20 disposals in a game of Qooty for premiership points
- You’ve had more than 25 disposals in a game of Qooty for premiership points
- You’ve had more than 30 disposals in a game of Qooty for premiership points
- You’ve kicked more than 3 goals in a game of Qooty for premiership points
- You’ve kicked more than 5 goals in a game of Qooty for premiership points
- You’ve had more than 10 hitouts in a game of Qooty for premiership points
- You’ve had more than 15 hitouts in a game of Qooty for premiership points
- You’ve laid more than 5 tackles in a game of Qooty for premiership points
- You’ve laid more than 7 tackles in a game of Qooty for premiership points
- You’ve got more than 3 free kicks in a game of Qooty for premiership points
- You’ve given away more than 3 free kicks in a game of Qooty for premiership points
- You’ve played for > 2 seasons
- You’ve played for > 10 seasons
- You joined the league before 2010
- You joined the league before 2005
- You’ve gotten Mobbs Medal votes in a game of Qooty for premiership points
- You’ve gotten 3 Mobbs Medal votes in a game of Qooty for premiership points
- You’ve gotten more than 10 Mobbs medal votes in a season
- You’ve gotten more than 15 Mobbs medal votes in a season
- You’ve won the Mobbs medal
- You’ve published a media thread
- You’ve gotten more than 20 likes on a media thread you’ve published
- You’ve written a match thread op for a game of Qooty for premiership points
- You’ve written a match thread op for a final
- You’ve received a Beez Medal vote
- You’ve received more than 50 Beez Medal votes in a season
- You’ve received more than 100 Beez Medal votes in a season
- You’ve won the Beez Medal
- You’ve won the Frankston Rover Award
- You’ve won the TFLUA-Tiger Award
- You’ve received an EKA vote
- You’ve won the EKA medal
- You’ve made the 40 player squad for the All-SFA
- You’ve made the All-SFA team
- You’ve won the Fred medal
- You’ve played in a final
- You’ve won a final
- You’ve played in a Grand Final
- You’ve won a Grand Final
- You’ve gotten a Deestroy vote
- You’ve won a Deestroy medal
- You’ve won multiple flags
- You’ve won 6 flags *cough* ant555 *cough* *cough*
- You participated in the eAFL competition on the main board
- You’ve participated in werewolf
- You’ve won a game of werewolf
- You’ve participated in a Royal Rumble
- You’ve won a Royal Rumble
- You’ve participated in the Sweet F.A. Olympics
- You’ve visited the SFA Archives and Sim Info Board on purpose
- You’ve received a warning about your posting
- You’ve gone to Adsense jail
- You’ve tried recruiting a rookie
- You’ve successfully recruited a rookie
- You’ve bought in about 95% of the league’s rookie population *cough* Dingster *cough* *cough*
- You’ve tried recruiting a player from another team
- You’ve successfully recruited a player from another team
- You’ve been involved in an expansion bid
- You were in the league at the time of the Boys Club vs Haro
- You’ve listened to the Sweet F.A. Podcast
- You’ve been on the Sweet F.A. Podcast
- You know what the word “ruour” means
- You’ve seen more than one admin’s reign during your time in the league
- You’ve seen more than three admins’ reigns during your time in the league
- You’ve run for admin
- You’ve won your clubs B&F
- You’ve won a different club award
- You’ve posted an official team sheet
- You’ve captained your club
- You’ve called for a thread to be landfilled
- You’ve had a thread landfilled
- You’ve posted in the #scandal thread
- You’ve posted in a Grand Final thread
- Your username is Mobbs
- You created the Sweet F.A.
- You developed the Qooty program
- A bunch of people from all over the world use the program you developed in the 90s to participate in a fantasy football league
- You’re incredibly passionate about the league being referred to as the Sweet F.A. not the SFA
- You’re advocating for the inclusion of certain marsupials into the league
- You’ve built a replica of a fantasy world on Minecraft
- You currently wear number 22 for the Roys FFC
- You’ve played the 2nd most games in Sweet F.A. history
- Free space, you deserve it for reading 100 checkpoints
