Preview The Whipping Boy Thread - 2025 Edition

[gouki88]

Looks like a lite version of that guy from the Tradie undy ads.

If he's as good at footy as the honey badger was at rugby then he might make it. But I have my doubts

 

[noideaatall]

The first time I whipped my bullock team around Australia I left a yearling in the paddock at home. I didn't whip said yearling, what was the point, he wasn't pulling the cart. On the second round he joined the team and that's when the flogging began.

I had to do a google search to find out who this HDM was, thought it was a bloody disco record. Sure, this bloke might be eligible for the inaugural Kyle Martin

Kyle Martin

Age

35

Ht

178cm

Wt

77kg

Pos.

Mid

Career

Season

Last 5

D

13.2

3star

K

6.3

2star

HB

6.8

4star

M

3.7

4star

T

3.0

5star

CL

1.5

4star

No current season stats available

D

15.8

4star

K

7.6

3star

HB

8.2

5star

M

4.4

4star

T

3.6

5star

CL

1.8

4star

award but wtf you mob think he is relevant to this thread I have no idea at all. Its not like you don't have current players that deserve a flogging. ndacoi has not had 40 touches or even one hitout this year. Flogging some irrelevant? ... if we lose tonight its on you mob's head.

 

[sr36]

The first time I whipped my bullock team around Australia I left a yearling in the paddock at home. I didn't whip said yearling, what was the point, he wasn't pulling the cart. On the second round he joined the team and that's when the flogging began.

I had to do a google search to find out who this HDM was, thought it was a bloody disco record. Sure, this bloke might be eligible for the inaugural Kyle Martin award but wtf you mob think he is relevant to this thread I have no idea at all. Its not like you don't have current players that deserve a flogging. ndacoi has not had 40 touches or even one hitout this year. Flogging some irrelevant? ... if we lose tonight its on you mob's head.

You forgot some of the most important rules of whipping whilst wandering the outback with nothing but a bullock to snuggle up with:

A) You can never start whipping them too young.
B) You can never whip them too much.
C) Whipping needs to be practiced as you can't just land the thong on the likes of ND without a fair bit of practice on schmucks like HDM
D) Who cares if it's going to do any good? It's better to be safe than sorry and thrash them regardless of whether it's a waste of time or not. Because one day - it just might make the difference.

 

[Vicky Park]

The first time I whipped my bullock team around Australia I left a yearling in the paddock at home. I didn't whip said yearling, what was the point, he wasn't pulling the cart. On the second round he joined the team and that's when the flogging began.

I had to do a google search to find out who this HDM was, thought it was a bloody disco record. Sure, this bloke might be eligible for the inaugural Kyle Martin award but wtf you mob think he is relevant to this thread I have no idea at all. Its not like you don't have current players that deserve a flogging. ndacoi has not had 40 touches or even one hitout this year. Flogging some irrelevant? ... if we lose tonight its on you mob's head.

Mr Parks grandfather was a bullock driver. If he was alive today he’d be about 140. Are you a mate of his?

 

[noideaatall]

You forgot some of the most important rules of whipping whilst wandering the outback with nothing but a bullock to snuggle up with:

A) You can never start whipping them too young.
B) You can never whip them too much.
C) Whipping needs to be practiced as you can't just land the thong on the likes of ND without a fair bit of practice on schmucks like HDM
D) Who cares if it's going to do any good? It's better to be safe than sorry and thrash them regardless of whether it's a waste of time or not. Because one day - it just might make the difference.

You've been drinking that load of Tassie water I dropped off haven't you.

Mr Parks grandfather was a bullock driver. If he was alive today he’d be about 140. Are you a mate of his?

Ya what? Who do you think I am. I do not associate with folk that barrack for that weaselly mob down past the poo farm. You are henceforth demoted from the whipping thread leadership. You can hang round with the mob on the wrong track.

 

[ThePhantom777]

WHE. It wouldn't be a Collingwood season without putting your name here.

Titch can join him.

 

[Sea fog]

Sully and McStay deserve some corporal punishment for some unforgettable moments and unforgettable for the wrong reasons, when the game was there to be won. And the hyphen is probably missing those whipping sessions so he can hold his hand out too.

 

[Vicky Park]

Sully and McStay deserve some corporal punishment for some unforgettable moments and unforgettable for the wrong reasons, when the game was there to be won. And the hyphen is probably missing those whipping sessions so he can hold his hand out too.

Is this Sully’s first appearance in this thread?

Welcome young man to BF’s premier thread, where the best footy analysis and insights flourish. And players are never unfairly blamed for losses.

 

[gouki88]

Is this Sully’s first appearance in this thread?

Welcome young man to BF’s premier thread, where the best footy analysis and insights flourish. And players are never unfairly blamed for losses.

Long overdue after those two crap dribbling passes in consecutive weeks

 

[sr36]

Is this Sully’s first appearance in this thread?

Welcome young man to BF’s premier thread, where the best footy analysis and insights flourish. And players are never unfairly blamed for losses.

I'm surprised anyone can be bothered whipping Sullivan. He could be the first player we've had who is beneath whipping.

 

[noideaatall]

Stepping back to the previous game. We didn't win by ten goals, didn't double their score, ndacoi did not hit 40 possies, only 2 cms and not one hitout. Carlton might argue that is a first world problem but we are not Carlton. We were not sure whats wrong, its not nothing, we knew it was something and Voss should never be left alone with the goldfish.

Fast forward to last night. Never seen a greater collection of whipping boys in all my life. WHE, Markov, Schultz, Cox, titch, ndacoi and even JFN! Clearly Fly knew something you mob don't: this was the loss we had to have. Even Manson could kick straighter. Everything reeks of this being a well planned holiday in the sun. Couldn't lose to a more inconsequential side. The day they win in Melbourne will be the day Cox takes a mark with two hands.

Its a boon for what has been a lifeless zone. You are like a mob of termites, endlessly boring beneath the woodwork. Its a godamn disaster, best we drop the whole team.

JB Points: 3 -JFN at least his hairdo matches the jumper
2 - WHE awesome comeback into award contention. The honeymoon is over for WHE

 

[jathanas]

This thread has its favourites but I'm calling for selection integrity.

Each week we should nominate the players most deserving of a whipping.

I nominate McStay and Long.

The team willed its way back from 40+ points down and these 2 potatoes miss from 20m out.

 

[sr36]

The way I see it - don't waste your time whipping Sullivan and WHE - they're completely useless so if they ever disgrace the jumper again it will be Fly who deserves to be whipped for picking them.

Save the whips for Long and McStay. Those two spuds might get picked again.

 

[gouki88]

I'm surprised anyone can be bothered whipping Sullivan. He could be the first player we've had who is beneath whipping.

There’s no sport in it. He’s so slow he wouldn’t even be able to run away

 

[northcotehead]

There’s no sport in it. He’s so slow he wouldn’t even be able to run away

Have to delve into the whipping boy archives to see if anyone's gone from playing their greatest game for the club to number 1 whip receiver in a week

 

[sr36]

Have to delve into the whipping boy archives to see if anyone's gone from playing their greatest game for the club to number 1 whip receiver in a week

I thought Fly was whipping him when he said it was his best game for the club - surely that wasn't as good as he gets?

 

[Sea fog]

I thought Fly was whipping him when he said it was his best game for the club - surely that wasn't as good as he gets?

Especially when it is against the Blues super plod squad.

 

[noideaatall]

What a schemozzle. Not happy with ndacoi's dominance in the JB award, Fly stacks the team with every whipping boy he can find. You mob wanted choice: now you have a paddock of spuds to pick from. Having said that, I have been consulting the various experts in the matchday thread and the like. Turns out it was the last game for most of the team that played Freo. You mob need to get yourselves over to the Charlie Dean thread and learn a bit about whipping.

I am enjoying the various styles adopted in attempts to win the JB Memorial. WHE used to be run all day and never touch the footy. He has now introduced a bit of the Markov special: take possession and muck it up. Cox is trying the don't life your hands over your head approach, Houston going for the "Schultz", overpriced transfer and then, of course, we have the long/beau pressure acts only.

JB Points:
3 - ndacoi. Finally passed the benchmark of 40 possies but turns out only playing to win awards. Needs to be managed, clearly hobbled. His fault you mob haven't had a chance to whip HDM.
2 - WHE. Premiership hangover is, well, over. Open season on WHE. Game had passed him by in 2022. I'm backing him for a late run on the JB, proven performer.
1 - Dean. His fault our beloved captain can't win one on one.

 

[sr36]

I'm disgusted that our standards have dropped so far that McStay isn't getting flogged to an inch of his life.

 

[Sea fog]

Fly gave the skipper a bit of a whipping in his presser today after the Freo effort. And the coach also questioned Nick's impact with the ball.

 

[noideaatall]

Well, its open season on whipping at the Pies and you mob haven't fired a shot. No doubt there will be ample opportunity come season end....

The Memorial JB Award is up for grabs. Noting one of the prime candidates, in WHE, has retired so out of bounds. In fact, given WHE's long standing high level status in the whipping boy thread, indeed a history only bested by JB himself, I think we should change it to the WHE 2025 award, just for this year.

ndacoi, for mine, is well in front. Recent sins include not reading Cameron's toe poke, not being able to suck up a rabbit punch to the solar plexus and not adequately snotting Langford. I recognise you mob don't share my vision.

JDG was on the radar, having done nothing all year, but last night showed signs he is probably not a worthy winner.
Long: if I could work out his role he would be high on the radar but at this stage I can only conclude he is there to do diddly squat.
McStay: see above.
Houston: reprising the Schultz role from last year. Big contender for the WHE 2025 Memorial.

There is a whole heap of periphery players (22 or 23) that have stolen votes but, at this stage, I reckon Houston is the man. Reality is, if we whip him enough we might do what we did with Schultz and turn him into a half decent player. There is no hope with McStay.

 

[noideaatall]

Yeah, hmmm, seems like I am the only one flying the flag around here now. I can understand you mob have lost faith but, look, don't forget this thread singlehandedly ensured the premiership cup in 2023. A decent whipping will turn this rabble around, markfs my words.

Look at our successes. WHE gone! Took us four years of concerted effort (not to mention pdacoi offering him more than he could knock back for the Voss/Fly photos), but we made it. Lipinski, yes, an embarassment but not the disgrace he was before you mob whipped him into submission in the season's first half. Mcburger, another target of you mob, on the outer and ideally that is where he'll stay. I will also humbly point out I turned ndacoi from a liability into MVP.

Anyway, the all important, 2025 Memorial JB Award. Cox has resurged and is back in position. I put a gorilla and a chimp down for the win. I recommend you mob get on it: Cox I mean.