Theories you and your mates have developed

[Carl Hooper]

You speak like a white man, yo.

I reckon my fingernails are more black then you.

 

[Hard Ball Get]

That hangovers are worse if you sleep in your own bed, as opposed to crashing on a mate's couch etc.

I find it is the exact opposite. I much prefer making my way home and crashing in my own bed.

 

[Royal Flush]

This has been the most entertaining thread I have read in a long time.

Theory 1> You know your at a good chinese restaurant when it's full of chinese diners.

Theory 2> The best way to determine how your girl will age is to check out her mother. No matter how sexy she maybe now, marraige and children will no doubt change the mental and physical appearance. If her Mum is hot at 50, then you should probably marry her.

 

[CrazyQ]

I reckon my fingernails are more black then you.

Clean them, son.

You aint in the least bit black, yo.

 

[Deledinho]

Theory 1> You know your at a good chinese restaurant when it's full of chinese diners.

I have a Chinese friend who says the same thing.

 

[r dub 19]

There are a few types of people at work:

Managers

1. The strict arrogant manager that no1 likes
2. The wolf in sheep clothing manager that acts nice to you but will destroy you behind your back.
3. The manager that doesn't really care about work and everyone gets along with.

Workers

1. The worker that works non stop and sucks up to management.
2. The long serving veteran that despises management and will always say something along the lines of " It was never like this back in the old days".
3. the worker that tells everyone the same story they have told you.
4. The hottest girl at the workplace that all the guys are keen on but she has a loser of a boyfriend.
5.The lazy worker that does nothing but somehow manages to retain their job.

 

[wce4premiership]

When you are peeing and try to see how far you can go .... then you fart, there'll be a pressure drop and your pee line will drop for a second.

 

[ManWithNoName]

Whenever you think about breathing you'll stop doing it subconsciously, and have to actually think about it to do it. Then when you try to make it subconscious again you'll just stop breathing all together.

 

[Armitage2Riewoldt]

Whenever you think about breathing you'll stop doing it subconsciously, and have to actually think about it to do it. Then when you try to make it subconscious again you'll just stop breathing all together.

Hahaha, I was just thinking about (and subsequently testing) that out the other day.

 

[bit_pattern]

After a big night out with alot of alchol consumption, the next morning your facial hair seems to have grown back more than usual.

That'd be due to the increase in testosterone you get when you go drinking and trying to pick up...

 

[beflecking]

humm, I'll think seriously about that theory

 

[ClarkeM]

Whenever you line up at Maccas, if theres a huge line, as you receive your order the line won't be as big. and if theres a small line, theres a huge one when you walk out

 

[exe ex machina]

Huge lines at Maccas...not just the number of people but the weight of them.

If you're behind overweight people in a line, the line will be slower given how much they order.

 

[TheStinger]

Theory 2> The best way to determine how your girl will age is to check out her mother. No matter how sexy she maybe now, marraige and children will no doubt change the mental and physical appearance. If her Mum is hot at 50, then you should probably marry her.

But then what do I do with my girlfriend?

Ok I have one that is a given. The heavier the traffic or worse the conditions on the road, the more chance there will be some ******** trying to drive at 90kmh and weaving through the traffic like he is Ayrton Senna.

 

[exe ex machina]

Just on the girl vs mother thing. This is very true. It's amazing how spitting image you see the girl physically developing the same figure as her mother.

However, it's not just the physical. The mental/attitude side as well is also spitting image. Imo, the physical side is only one half of the issue. Sure, you want someone attractive, but when you're both 45 it doesn't matter as much by then because like 99.9% of married middle-aged people, neither of you is going to be hot, desire will have died down significantly due to the wear and tear of living with someone for so long, knowing their personality, all the bad stuff and warts, plus the toll of work/kids.

So in the end, the thing that probably matters a lot more is the personality. If the mother is a nice person, fair, sweet, kind, thoughtful, helpful, selfless, interesting to talk with, etc, then the girl is definitely most worth chasing after, marrying etc.....as long as she herself shows similar character traits (which they more often do than dont). Because in the end, in the long-haul of a 20+ year marriage, it'll be the personality companionship side of it that will be most important. Also in terms of how these days so many men get shafted by divorcing/separating woman who take all their possessions, money, house etc. Can so easily in time find 'love'/lust elsewhere, or were always untrustable types ok to ditch at the drop of a hat if there was some financial gain from it.

Personality >>>>>> looks imo always. Some of the best ****s too are often the "ugly" girls because they know they cant compete face value and really put in where it counts----in the bed, friendship/companionship, loyalty.

GG advice 101.

 

[juddsentant517]

you find out about people on a tennis court
if they were sun glasses or a hat backwards and or have a huge kitbag and all that stuff, usually they are full of themselves. If they call out 40-fif or 30 fif, instead of 40-15 they are usually bogans, and usually higher class people choose W instead of M when spinning a tennis raquet to choose wether to serve or receive

 

[rugby league man]

Jizza9, absolutely agree.

One along a similar theme is a belief I have which states that you don't shake hands with your closest mates, you just don't need to do it.

just as there is no need 2 shake ur work collegues hand when u greet them 5 days out of every week

 

[Damon_3388]

Ok I have one that is a given. The heavier the traffic or worse the conditions on the road, the more chance there will be some ******** trying to drive at 90kmh and weaving through the traffic like he is Ayrton Senna.

See: South-Eastern Freeway and most other main roads in the Adelaide Hills during Winter. Add in the regular fog and rain in this area, plus the total lack of adequate lighting at night, and roads in the Adelaide Hills are pretty much deathtraps during Winter.

Here's one along the same lines - Any male under 25 who owns a newer Holden Commodore (that is, one that is less that 5 years old) is either a car bogan/apprentice mechanic/young mechanic who wears HRT polo shirts and follows the V8 Supercar Series religiously, or just an annoying w***er - eg. revving their car in the driveway/at traffic lights, putting their 'doof doof' music on full blast in the driveway/at traffic lights, doing burnouts, speeding, going 'cruising' to show of their sick rims etc.

 

[beez]

you find out about people on a tennis court
if they were sun glasses or a hat backwards and or have a huge kitbag and all that stuff, usually they are full of themselves. If they call out 40-fif or 30 fif, instead of 40-15 they are usually bogans, and usually higher class people choose W instead of M when spinning a tennis raquet to choose wether to serve or receive

This is just silly!!! I always thought women chose 'W' and men chose 'M'

 

[rugby league man]

as soon as u spark up a ciggie the bus/train will arrive

 

[rugby league man]

after spending the whole night stalking a hot girl at the pub/club and just when you've got up the courage 2 approach her then the boy friend that u didnt know she had appears out of no where

 

[_JC_]

That'd be due to the increase in testosterone you get when you go drinking and trying to pick up...

No, i'd say it more likely due to the dehydration caused by drinking, which would make you skin shrink slightly and the hair protrude more than usual.

 

[wazzaisachamp]

Any guys that take photos of themselves shirtless and put it on facebook and/or myspace are always complete w***ers.

 

[Illinois Nazi]

I have a theory I have used often and found so far to be 100% reliable. If you are driving lost, pick a car at random and start following them. They might not be going where you are going, but guarenteed you'll end up where you're meant to be.

Thank you Douglas Adams.

When driving past a cricket match, you will never see a ball being bowled.

How keen you are to see the next ball bowled is inversely proportonal to your knowledge/interest in the game being played. I mean I'll buy a ticket to a Test match and then sit there reading the paper while they are playing. But drive past a suburban game where I have no idea what teams are playing, what grade it is or what stage the match is at, and I'll just about run off the road looking back over my shoulder to see what's happening.

 

[Hard Ball Get]

When you think of a really good theory while away from the computer, you will forget it when you open the thread to write it in.

Also works on other threads such as the lame jokes thread etc.