Ticket inspectors

[WALL-e]

anyone seen this one inspector that usually does the rounds in the city, she is one fat ass chunky bitch with blonde hair always looks like she is pissed off, bright red cheeks (on her face)

She's the only one that's booked me.

No concession card on the way to uni.

 

[KENT2008]

very hard to get away from her as she blocks the entire doorway and aisle!

 

[krisholio14]

You know how mant transport fines i've got? About 300.

You know how many i've paid? Zero.

They won't/don't stand up in court.

Now heres a couple of things which piss me off.

Firstly, I usually have a ticket i'd say 80 to 90% of the time. The times I don't usually involve my weekly ticket having run out, and a machine not accepting my card or cash to buy another.

Now I catch public transport up to 5 times a day, every day (trams trains and buses). When I have a valid ticket I reckon I see an inspector maybe 1 in every 50 trips. And even then, they might ask to see my ticket maybe every second or third time.

When I don't have a ticket, I reckon I see them every three or four trips, and they never fail to ask to see my ticket.

But heres the cruncher. Last time they got on and I did have a ticket, there was a really hot looking chick sitting across from me who didn't have one. They didn't even bother to check my valid ticket, because they were too busy trying to chat up this hot chick, who told them she didnt have a ticket (and she didnt have much of an excuse either), and do you think they got the book out? Hell no!

The other one that really pissed me off was one morning I was at Flinders Street waiting to get a train home. Now the train I was waiting for would have gotten me home well before 7, which meant its free. Cept that train got cancelled and we all had to wait for the next one, which got to my station at 7:04.

The rules for fre travel are, you need to be at your destination before 7, and if a train has been cancelled, bad luck. Now I had a ticket anyway so it didnt matter to me, but the bloke in front of me didn't. He was getting off at the same station I was too. Now we'd had to wait an extra 20 minutes because of the cancelled train, and yet, when the train pulled into a station at 6:59, who do you think got on and immediately started busting people, including this guy in front of me? I went ballistic at them and told em they could make sure they were smack bang right on the money, why can't the company get the trains right on the money too? I wasnt even getting booked myself and I was fuming.

Now some people have made the comment 'with so many fare evaders its no wonder the public transport system is crap'.

Well that in itself is a lot of crap (and a cop out the Government and Connex have used all too often). In how many industries do you pay for a service before it's actually provided, then have absolutely no recourse for compensation when said service is delivered in a less than mediocre fashion? If the public transport system was any other kind of business, it would have gone belly up years ago, and not just because of fare evasion. I don't mind paying top dollar for the service if I'm getting the sorts of services they have in other major capital cities around the world.

Which is why I never pay the fines. Are they going to compensate me for the hundreds of dollars in lost wages, and hours of my work time and personal time that I have lost due to nothing more than their incompetence? And I don't mean their patronizing 'Sorry for the inconvenience caused' recorded messages. If they are going to give us a second rate, haphazard approach to service, then I'm going to give them a haphazard approach to buying a ticket.

 

[WALL-e]

very hard to get away from her as she blocks the entire doorway and aisle!

Not to mention i had my headphones in and was reading so I only noticed her as a shadow was cast over me.

 

[Shinboner '07]

ticket inspectors are a joke, its not even a real job... just a bunch of over-sized idiots who were failures at school

i wish i could burn one of their trenchcoats one day

 

[drew_j]

I've had the pleasure of working with them when we commissioned a facility out at Cranbourne. They are generally stupider than people you would normally associate with. 1 or 2 are switched on enough to hold a semblance of conversation with, but what they do with them is make them the pinch hitting complainers who nag you to death about not having enough air condtioning. Not quite as stupid as station staff though, they are just mongers. Stupid, stupid mongoloids.

Seriously though if one came upto me and asked for a ticket and I didn't have one (which I always do), I'd just tell them to piss off and leave the train/tram. They wouldn't do shit. But you came up against one of those death squads then you're pretty much ****ed. Lots of idiots in a small area is conformance and lots of yes sir unless you want your head punched in.

 

[retroparty]

Once I got caught without a concession card on a train.

The ticket inspectors (there were three of them and there were about 5 people on the train) asked for my concession card and I said I didn't have one. He told me that I should go and buy one as they are only $8. Then he walked away, didn't even give me a fine. Didn't even warn about getting a fine if I didn't have i.d in the future.

Of course 5 minutes later they gives some shady looking kid a fine because he didn't have a ticket. IMO they target people who look like they could be a bit dodgy but are afraid to give anyone who looks respectable a fine.

 

[Geelong_Sicko]

Here's a funny story - I'd been drinking all day Sunday before me and a few mates went in to catch You AM I & Magic Dirt at the Corner Hotel. We booze on all night, they go home and I buy a ticket and catch the train.

I fall asleep.

I get woken up by this ticket inspector who looked like the Aryan Dream poster boy. Six foot square headed blond. Asks me for a valid ticket and, being drunk as a lord I fumble in my pocket and show him yesterdays. He tells me look again and I come up with one from last week. F*ck, where is it?

He writes me out a ticket after I can't find it and, due to me still being shit-faced I give him my real, current address.

After home, a good sleep and about five litres of water I find the proper, valid ticket in my jacket pocket. I feel like a bloody fool.

If I get this fine can I explain this situation and send them the valid ticket? The time stamp on the ticket shows I bought and validated it that morning before the inspectors collared me.

 

[pinkus maximus]

Here's a funny story - I'd been drinking all day Sunday before me and a few mates went in to catch You AM I & Magic Dirt at the Corner Hotel. We booze on all night, they go home and I buy a ticket and catch the train.

I fall asleep.

I get woken up by this ticket inspector who looked like the Aryan Dream poster boy. Six foot square headed blond. Asks me for a valid ticket and, being drunk as a lord I fumble in my pocket and show him yesterdays. He tells me look again and I come up with one from last week. F*ck, where is it?

He writes me out a ticket after I can't find it and, due to me still being shit-faced I give him my real, current address.

After home, a good sleep and about five litres of water I find the proper, valid ticket in my jacket pocket. I feel like a bloody fool.

If I get this fine can I explain this situation and send them the valid ticket? The time stamp on the ticket shows I bought and validated it that morning before the inspectors collared me.

Yeah you can. A similar thing happened to me a few years ago. I had to bring the ticket into the transperth office and they let me off

 

[FootyJunkie]

Myki will make life so much easier

 

[Johnson#26]

Yep, supposedly ready to go in 'October 2006'.

Fair dinkum, they cancel a bazillion trains in succession, and that's fine, to a point, but it would be lovely to know WHY they are cancelled. Ditto when the train magically stops and props between two stations for 20-minutes or more. Please, let us know WHY we are waiting, and approximately how long it'll be. That really irks me.

If you're using the train, you almost have to get it half an hour prior to the scheduled time to catch it, just in case.

 

[Johnson#26]

BTW, for those out there who haven't seen it (sorry if it's posted already): http://www.ptua.org.au/publications/fines/

Also, if you see someone with, for eg, their feet on the seats, do you tell them quietly to move them if you see inspectors on their way? Or let them hang out to dry?

 

[Barry Zuckercorn]

Is it illegal to murder ticket inspectors?

 

[Barry Zuckercorn]

Seriously, they're just doing their job and its a pretty sh*t job to have.

I find it hard to accept ticket inspectors are a necessity given how woeful Connex is. Ticket inspectors are in effect policing whether people have paid for a service which chances are, they didnt receive.

With the current economic climate, ticket inspectors should be the first to get the arse IMHO.

 

[bigange]

Another thing that gets me mad is the huge cost of the fines. A 2 hourly ticket costs $3.70 yet a fine is about $180 which is nearly 50 times the cost of a ticket.

Speeding fines, parking fines etc are well down on this. I reckon fare evasion fines, feets on seats etc should be between $50-$100 max.

However thanks to the govt privatising the system they (Connex, Yarra Trams) can do whatever they want. Run a shocking service and cop tiny fines for doing so but treat their customers like crap and fine them exorbitantly.

 

[Lance Uppercut]

I can't imagine on what grounds they could possibly fine you.
They asked for a ticket, you showed a valid ticket. Where is the issue?

I was thinking the other day, maybe the bigfooty community can comment on this idea to irritate the inspectors. Can you ask them show you their badge, write down his details "for your own records" and call up connex to confirm he is who he is? Reverse the roles. Unless you're 100% certain he is legit, you have no reason to show him/her your ticket.

I do everything to piss them off. I used to fare evade all the time in Uni. Now that I can afford it, I can't really be arsed getting fined. But I still like ****ing with them.

Whenever I get approached by them, I wait until they ask about 3 times before I even deign to look at them. When I do finally look up, I look them right in the eye. Then I ask to see some identification. By this stage his eyes have lit up (they have targets, you know!) & 4 or 5 of his goon mates will smell blood and come around.

I'll then examine the badge, at then look from the photo to his face about 2-3 times. When that's done, I sigh, and very slowly take out my wallet, and very slowly present them with the ticket. It's awesome. Sometimes I then "apologise for any inconvenience caused". Classic.

I hate 'em, and I'll do anything to make their life tough. Another fav trick of mine is when I'm exiting at Spencer St, and the goons are there, I'll ensure I exit through one of the gates that have their view blocked by a pillar. As I go through the gate, I use my wallet to cover the one "concession" light that's visible to the Inspector.

He comes barrelling over demanding to see your ticket, and I just refuse. Say "No, go to hell, I just put it through the machine and I'm late for work", then I walk off. Of course 5-6 of the heroes then surround you and try to detain you, at which point I quickly whip out my ticket, hold it 3 inches from his face, and demand he gets out of the way.

It's hilarious, their face goes a very amusing shade of puce, because if you don't swear, they can't do a thing!

The best thing about all of this is that it often gives other people who actually are fare-evading time to maybe get away.

Me too!

Copped a $320 fine a couple of years ago for having no concession card and having my foot on the seat. Didn't try to get out of it, paid it off and made sure i formulated a plan for next time i was in any trouble.

Rang up my cousin, memorised a name, address and birthday. James Sharples, if you're out there, i'm sorry.

Alistair Campbell. 107 Middleborough Road Box Hill.

Both me and 2 brothers both memorised this name and address. That way, whenever any of us got a call from the scum, at least one of us should have the phone on, & we'd back them up with the details - "oh yeah, Alistair, yeah he's my brother. Yeah he lives at..."

I would estimate we collectively got out of maybe 15 tickets using this system.

 

[Barry Zuckercorn]

I do everything to piss them off. I used to fare evade all the time in Uni. Now that I can afford it, I can't really be arsed getting fined. But I still like ****ing with them.

Whenever I get approached by them, I wait until they ask about 3 times before I even deign to look at them. When I do finally look up, I look them right in the eye. Then I ask to see some identification. By this stage his eyes have lit up (they have targets, you know!) & 4 or 5 of his goon mates will smell blood and come around.

I'll then examine the badge, at then look from the photo to his face about 2-3 times. When that's done, I sigh, and very slowly take out my wallet, and very slowly present them with the ticket. It's awesome. Sometimes I then "apologise for any inconvenience caused". Classic.

I hate 'em, and I'll do anything to make their life tough. Another fav trick of mine is when I'm exiting at Spencer St, and the goons are there, I'll ensure I exit through one of the gates that have their view blocked by a pillar. As I go through the gate, I use my wallet to cover the one "concession" light that's visible to the Inspector.

He comes barrelling over demanding to see your ticket, and I just refuse. Say "No, go to hell, I just put it through the machine and I'm late for work", then I walk off. Of course 5-6 of the heroes then surround you and try to detain you, at which point I quickly whip out my ticket, hold it 3 inches from his face, and demand he gets out of the way.

It's hilarious, their face goes a very amusing shade of puce, because if you don't swear, they can't do a thing!

The best thing about all of this is that it often gives other people who actually are fare-evading time to maybe get away.

Hahahaha Esxcellent

And as good as your technique is Lance, there is room for improvement...

You could fumble around with your wallet, drop a few silver coins on the ground, run after them, slowly put them back in your wallet. Then you take out an old ticket, apologise when they point out its old, pull out another old ticket, apologise again and then, if you feel like it, pull out your valid ticket.

Always handy to carry 1-10 expired tickets for this very purpose.

 

[drew_j]

A good one an acquaintance of mine did.

He lived at sedon station so it's the arse end as far as trains stopping go, especially at 9pm. He got three stand over and ask him for his ticket, so he fumbled and pretended not to know where it was for like 2 stops. When he got there he said this is my station and they got off with him. Soon as the train goes he whips out the ticket shows them and says have a nice night boys.... Next train scheduled in 40 minutes.

 

[Geelong_Sicko]

A good one an acquaintance of mine did.

He lived at sedon station so it's the arse end as far as trains stopping go, especially at 9pm. He got three stand over and ask him for his ticket, so he fumbled and pretended not to know where it was for like 2 stops. When he got there he said this is my station and they got off with him. Soon as the train goes he whips out the ticket shows them and says have a nice night boys.... Next train scheduled in 40 minutes.

!!!

 

[Magnum]

Lance that's gold. If only I could pull those kind of shenanigans with a straight face.

Again you could improve by faking to try and get away with a puposely held old ticket by showing it real quick to their face and then tucking it away, or holding your finger over the date. Then when they get all heavy, because they think they've struck gold you can whip out your proper validated ticket and tell them to kindly get the hell out of you way.

 

[A Living God]

Obligation to produce a ticket valid for travel​

(1) An authorised person (ticketing) may ask a person
who—
(a) is travelling in; or
(b) has just left—
a passenger vehicle to produce for inspection a
ticket that is or was (as the case requires) valid for
the whole of the person's travel in that passenger
vehicle.
(2) A person must without delay comply with a
request made under subregulation (1).
Penalty: 5 penalty units.​

What is the defintion "just left"? Is it in terms of distance or time?
If you were to run from a ticket inspector for how far or how long would you need to out run them before they lose their legal authority?

 

[OneEyedHawk]

Like most have said, they are a pack of *****.

Unless it's a cop, just walk off. If they pursue you and try to detain you, just say to them "I'm going to keep walking now. If you try and stop me, I'm gonna smack you as hard as I can, then walk off". Most of them, for their $25 an hour will just stand aside. As would I in their position. Is only a f'n job, why risk getting belted?

Is not to be a hero or anything, but f'd if I'm paying my hard-earned out on a bloody public transport fine.

 

[lifelike_]

A good one an acquaintance of mine did.

He lived at sedon station so it's the arse end as far as trains stopping go, especially at 9pm. He got three stand over and ask him for his ticket, so he fumbled and pretended not to know where it was for like 2 stops. When he got there he said this is my station and they got off with him. Soon as the train goes he whips out the ticket shows them and says have a nice night boys.... Next train scheduled in 40 minutes.

Brilliant.

 

[Lance Uppercut]

A good one an acquaintance of mine did.

He lived at sedon station so it's the arse end as far as trains stopping go, especially at 9pm. He got three stand over and ask him for his ticket, so he fumbled and pretended not to know where it was for like 2 stops. When he got there he said this is my station and they got off with him. Soon as the train goes he whips out the ticket shows them and says have a nice night boys.... Next train scheduled in 40 minutes.

pure, undiluted win

 

[Lance Uppercut]

Always handy to carry 1-10 expired tickets for this very purpose.

hell yeah, I am now doing that too!