Family & Relationships Tolerating in-laws
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TheLoungeLizard
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I think SG just tried to go SA on us.
Croweater
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I didn't get along with my ex's (from AFS) parents that well. Her mum was alright, but her dad and I didn't see eye to eye on a lot of things.
He was passive aggressive a lot of the time. I think it was because my ex cared about my opinion more than she did his. He was traditionally the sole male influence in her life so I think he hated the fact that that was no longer the case. I tried to get her to ask his opinion on things but she only cared what I thought.
I tried to be nice to him, and sometimes he was nice back, but at other times he was an absolute prick.
Both her parents were hypocritical too. They'd try to call me out on spending money on things they deemed unnecessary, yet her mum smoked and gambled (she lost $50,000 over three years (regardless of whether or not they could afford it; that's bullshit)), and her dad used to smoke and enjoyed substantial quantities of alcohol. I once said to her dad "there are things that you do that I don't agree with, yet I don't sit here giving you shit about it". He didn't like that.
Things are great now, though. My current girlfriend's parents and I get along really well. I think it's because they can see we're happy and that's all that matters to them. I have a lot of respect for people like that.
He was passive aggressive a lot of the time. I think it was because my ex cared about my opinion more than she did his. He was traditionally the sole male influence in her life so I think he hated the fact that that was no longer the case. I tried to get her to ask his opinion on things but she only cared what I thought.
I tried to be nice to him, and sometimes he was nice back, but at other times he was an absolute prick.
Both her parents were hypocritical too. They'd try to call me out on spending money on things they deemed unnecessary, yet her mum smoked and gambled (she lost $50,000 over three years (regardless of whether or not they could afford it; that's bullshit)), and her dad used to smoke and enjoyed substantial quantities of alcohol. I once said to her dad "there are things that you do that I don't agree with, yet I don't sit here giving you shit about it". He didn't like that.
Things are great now, though. My current girlfriend's parents and I get along really well. I think it's because they can see we're happy and that's all that matters to them. I have a lot of respect for people like that.
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How would you approach parenting a teenage daughter?
I'm pretty lucky, I have great in-laws.
An ex's parents though, boy howdy were they a train wreck. His mother would tell me deep dark family secrets that my ex didn't even know, and his dad was a lousy drunk.
An ex's parents though, boy howdy were they a train wreck. His mother would tell me deep dark family secrets that my ex didn't even know, and his dad was a lousy drunk.
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My out-laws are great as well.
Have you got any advice? I am f###ed in the next so many years as I have three 10yr old daughters!
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Tell her she should invest in a navman which could cut the trip down to about 1 hour each wayCurrently listening to her complain about driving "1700 hours to the airport" to pick up her parents
HBF
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Have great in laws also, and there are 4 of them.
My ex though, her folks were something to be seen. Seriously from a different planet.
My ex though, her folks were something to be seen. Seriously from a different planet.
Shell
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He wants to see my parents more often than I doK, PM us what you really think HBF
HBF
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K, PM us what you really think HBF
Nah i'm very lucky Shell.
Mebby has 4 pretty amazing parents. Get along with all of them very well.
Shell
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This may be weird but I had a mate who lived in Perth- strictly mates- I went over there once and we went out together. This included a night out in Fremantle with his parents. Omg, I "fell in love" with his parents!!! They shouted me drinks and dinner (which they did not have to) and were hilarious/best fun ever.
I wished they were my then bfs parents, that's how much I liked them.
HBF
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Yeah i get that for sure Shell. Alot of the times when we're with any of Mebbys parents its usually her looking to leave rarher than me.
2 parents and 2 step parents
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Shell
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Oh rly i was imagining 1 man + 3 wives.
Geez my dad would have a heart attack, he's very conservative.
Shell
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I'm sure polygamy would be exhausting.
HBF
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I'm exhausted just thinking about it.
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Not that they're in-laws or I have to see them at Christmas, but my girlfriend's family really shit me.
I have a pretty accommodating set of parents. My mates always liked my dad and they were were always up for a chat.
But my girlfriend's sister never even says hi. I was making a cup of tea the other day and she goes, "what's he doing?" Her mum isn't an outright mole but she's barely ever talkative. You know when you first bring someone around, mate or girlfriend or otherwise, and your folks do the "oh so what do you do? Where are you from? How do you know..." ordeal? She never did that. It was a "hi, how are you going?" and then a dead silent, awkward dinner. It's still no better because it's hard to have even small talk with someone who won't acknowledge yours back.
Her dad also hated me because I told him I was hungover and had an afternoon sleep the day I met him. This guy, who's like 48, then proceeds to get genuinely lathered with his partner and ten-year old daughter in the pub, singing along and cuddling everyone. The ****ing gall.
Basically it's very rare to like other people's parents.
I have a pretty accommodating set of parents. My mates always liked my dad and they were were always up for a chat.
But my girlfriend's sister never even says hi. I was making a cup of tea the other day and she goes, "what's he doing?" Her mum isn't an outright mole but she's barely ever talkative. You know when you first bring someone around, mate or girlfriend or otherwise, and your folks do the "oh so what do you do? Where are you from? How do you know..." ordeal? She never did that. It was a "hi, how are you going?" and then a dead silent, awkward dinner. It's still no better because it's hard to have even small talk with someone who won't acknowledge yours back.
Her dad also hated me because I told him I was hungover and had an afternoon sleep the day I met him. This guy, who's like 48, then proceeds to get genuinely lathered with his partner and ten-year old daughter in the pub, singing along and cuddling everyone. The ****ing gall.
Basically it's very rare to like other people's parents.
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My oldies get along with the wife like no tomorrow. As parents of only boys, they were stoked to have a female in the family to balance it out. My wife is loud and vivacious, so they hit it off instantly. 15 years down the track my wife and the old girl are basically best mates. Always solving the problems of the world together, more often over a bottle of champers or chardonnay.
The wife's parents though. Hmmmm, tough work. A bit sad really, but the old boy is a heavy drinking, simple, angry, country-boy with more than a few issues he's never dealt with. And the old girl is a timid, almost "Stockholm-syndrome" housewife. Whilst they try to mean well, they're just miserable. They should never have married. He sooks and sulks when he can't get his own way. She does the same when he does. Before we had rugrats, we could tolerate the abusiveness, the misery and the behavior. But now the grandkids are old enough, shielding them from the outbursts and the following silence is becoming harder. Luckily they live 4000kms away.
Luckily my parents have been the proxy-parents to the better half. They rock.
The wife's parents though. Hmmmm, tough work. A bit sad really, but the old boy is a heavy drinking, simple, angry, country-boy with more than a few issues he's never dealt with. And the old girl is a timid, almost "Stockholm-syndrome" housewife. Whilst they try to mean well, they're just miserable. They should never have married. He sooks and sulks when he can't get his own way. She does the same when he does. Before we had rugrats, we could tolerate the abusiveness, the misery and the behavior. But now the grandkids are old enough, shielding them from the outbursts and the following silence is becoming harder. Luckily they live 4000kms away.
Luckily my parents have been the proxy-parents to the better half. They rock.
