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TheCatStevensExperience

Footballl Oracle
Jul 28, 2023
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If you are reading this you are a pencildick
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Geelong
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BigBigSounders2023 Kansas City Chefs
Hello Bay,

I thought it might be nice to create a space for the best of the best to kick back, relax and discuss the issues plaguing lowly "finished bottom 4 in the AFL era" clubs.

A place away from the unwashed riff-raff who rely on top 4 draft picks to keep their s**t truck clubs running. A place free from the inane, irrelevant gif posting and primary-school level insults.

Now, rather than go through every season between here and 1990, I figured I'd just ask an Artificial Intelligence the question:

Which AFL team has never finished in the bottom 4 since 1990?

To which it answered:

As of my last knowledge update in September 2021, the Essendon Football Club is the AFL team that had never finished in the bottom 4 since 1990. However, please note that my information might be outdated, and I recommend checking the latest AFL standings or reliable sources to confirm this information for the current year (2023).

Which shows just how s**t AI is.

Then I asked it:

Which is the best AFL team of the modern era? And it answered:

Up until my last update in September 2021, several teams could be considered among the best of the modern era, including:
  1. Hawthorn Hawks: The Hawks were particularly dominant during the 2010s, winning multiple premierships and establishing themselves as one of the strongest teams in the competition.
  2. Geelong Cats: The Cats also had a strong period during the late 2000s and early 2010s, winning premierships and consistently performing well.
  3. Sydney Swans: The Swans have been consistently competitive since the early 2000s, winning premierships and regularly making deep playoff runs.
  4. West Coast Eagles: The Eagles have had periods of success, including premiership victories and strong seasons.
  5. Brisbane Lions: The Lions were dominant during the early 2000s, winning three consecutive premierships from 2001 to 2003.

Which shows that maybe AI isn't all bad. Even taking into account the 2020 flag* AI doesn't rate Richmond as "the best of the modern era".

Anyway, it looked like this would need to be a manual endeavour.

I trawled through and found the bottom 4 for each year. By 2009 I'd found 17 clubs who'd finished in the bottom 4. I kept searching. I get to 1995 and EUREKA! an 18th team. But wait, it's the Fitzroy Lions :(

By this point, almost all the other 17 teams had been in the bottom 4 TWICE OVER. Not only that, but a majority of them had received PRIORITY PICKS TOO (looking at you, Carlton, Collingwood, Fremantle, Hawthorn, Richmond, Melbourne, St Kilda, West Coast, Footscray, Brisbane, Swans and Gold Coast)

It's a treacherous journey, but by 1990, 18 teams had finished the season in the bottom 4.

Except one:

The Geelong Football Club.

Welcome, Cats fans! Enjoy the fine wines, opposition tears and knowledge your team has never, in the AFL era, had to suffer the indiginity of a bottom 4 finish.
 

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Manuel is here to make any drink you like. An opposition tears margarita delivers a salty surprise!

Happy Hour Smile GIF by Shark Week
 
Ahhhh 🙂
Reading that fine OP just makes me realise how lucky I've been, and what a smart choice it was to get on the Catwagon back in the day.
There is simply no other Club like it

So we’ll bump this thread next year then, good job.

SMH
Don't you feel any kind of shame posting that when your team, who should be looking forward to some Finals action, are languishing in the Bottom Four?
Oh well, you're here now
Florence, eh?
Members of The Lounge will need a bite to eat, so..
You're the Pizza & Pasta Chef on a week's trial
 
SMH
Don't you feel any kind of shame posting that when your team, who should be looking forward to some Finals action, are languishing in the Bottom Four?
Oh well, you're here now
Florence, eh?
Members of The Lounge will need a bite to eat, so..
You're the Pizza & Pasta Chef on a week's trial
I’ll have you know we’re now in the bottom 5 and had your team’s measure.

Ok, looks like you’re eating cacca calzone all week, breakfast lunch and dinner. (I won’t just use my own turds).

Buon appetito!
 
I’ll have you know we’re now in the bottom 5 and had your teams measure.

Ok, looks like you’re eating cacca calzone all week, breakfast lunch and dinner. (I won’t just use my own turds).

Buon appetito!

Freo had 22 of them running around on the weekend. Luckily they were playing West Coke.

Back to the kitchen, Luigi.
 

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I’ll have you know we’re now in the bottom 5 and had your team’s measure.

Ok, looks like you’re eating cacca calzone all week, breakfast lunch and dinner. (I won’t just use my own turds).

Buon appetito!
I don't think you'll find that on the Pizza Polizia's list of authentic ingredients, although they'd probably get away with serving it up at Optus Stadium
You are demoted to Washing Up & Glass Collector
 
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I've been having a think about why it is most of the other supporters are so envious of our great standing, then I saw this. Pretty incredible to have a positive win percentage against EVERY team in the competition for over 30+ years.

Wonder when it'll stop?
 
1603772627734.jpeg

Maybe they're just envious of the MUSCLE BOUND Zach Guthrie?
 
I don't think you'll find that on the Pizza Polizia's list of authentic ingredients, although they'd probably get away with serving it up at Optus Stadium
You are demoted to Washing Up & Glass Collector
Ok.

You’ve been promoted to toilet scrubber, tigerboyz will show you the ropes. God speed.
 
I don't think you'll find that on the Pizza Polizia's list of authentic ingredients, although they'd probably get away with serving it up at Optus Stadium
You are demoted to Washing Up & Glass Collector

Ok.

You’ve been promoted to toilet scrubber, tigerboyz will show you the ropes. God speed.

For clarity:
Cats fans are the Members in this Lounge
Non Cats fans are the staff.

And the day I have anything to learn from that Dalmatian dumbfxck will be the day...
 

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