Family & Relationships What qualities matter?

[RU_]

What qualities matter to you when seeking a future partner?

Obviously for a ONS or FWB arrangement it's probably not vital that there's is some emotional attraction, but there needs to be some physical in my opinion.

Ended up in a shit fight with my two female housemates the other day when they were trying to wingman me with their friends, and were going through the options.

Ended up on their bad side for a night because I said no to a girl I wasn't attracted to physically and I obviously don't know her emotionally/personally to comment otherwise, however they were very persistent that looks don't matter.

I'm opposed. In my eyes it's 40/60, physical attraction to emotional.

What's your thoughts?

 

[Perth gal]

For me yes you do have to be physically attracted but there's so much more. Their mind, morals , attitude, personality, values etc are more important.

 

[PhatBoy]

1. Willing to engage in intercourse
2. See #1

 

[edgie]

Always has to be physical attraction. Always.

If you ain't ****ing you're just friends.

Sent from mTalk

 

[exe ex machina]

What qualities matter to you when seeking a future partner?

Obviously for a ONS or FWB arrangement it's probably not vital that there's is some emotional attraction, but there needs to be some physical in my opinion.

Ended up in a shit fight with my two female housemates the other day when they were trying to wingman me with their friends, and were going through the options.

Ended up on their bad side for a night because I said no to a girl I wasn't attracted to physically and I obviously don't know her emotionally/personally to comment otherwise, however they were very persistent that looks don't matter.

I'm opposed. In my eyes it's 40/60, physical attraction to emotional.

What's your thoughts?

1. There MUST be a sexual (not romantic) attraction. Sexual chemistry matters, even if in the long-run as married people the sex dies down.
2. Someone who IS your friend in life. Who you want to share your thoughts and experiences with. Who challenges your mind -- challenging one's mind is not necessarily based on intelligence, like they have to be intellectual. But more where your mindset could be say dark and negative, or serious and solid to the ground, whilst your partner's mindset is light and breezy, or fun and free. Even if one person is intellectual and the other a little dumb, or both dumb, or both smart.
3. Someone you TRUST, and don't worry about cheating, or being possessive over, etc. Someone you don't HAVE TO be around 24/7, but both are able to be apart, functioning...in terms of trust.
4. Most importantly....THE quality to seek in any partner (be it family, friend, co-worker, boss, or lover) is....drum-roll......THOUGHTFULNESS. i.e., the person thinks about you, takes you into consideration. Eg, "Oh i was shopping today for a skirt and I remembered how you love cars so much, i was passing by this little bookstore selling calendars, and i saw one about classic muscle cars, so I bought it for you." Or....."I remembered you said you had a job interview this afternoon and might not get a chance to go to lunch, so I made this sandwich for you to take along"......and all those kinds of things. Where you're thoughtful of the other person ALONGSIDE your own self, not more than or less than yourself, but alongside. When someone is intrinsically thoughtful in these examples I give, it means they will be thoughtful of you in far bigger and deeper ways.

Take all this I say to the house and you'll not go wrong.

 

[Paddles_]

In my opinion there has to be a mutual physical attraction initially, from which you can build the emotional connection afterwards.

 

[The Filth Wizard]

What qualities matter to you when seeking a future partner?

Obviously for a ONS or FWB arrangement it's probably not vital that there's is some emotional attraction, but there needs to be some physical in my opinion.

Ended up in a shit fight with my two female housemates the other day when they were trying to wingman me with their friends, and were going through the options.

Ended up on their bad side for a night because I said no to a girl I wasn't attracted to physically and I obviously don't know her emotionally/personally to comment otherwise, however they were very persistent that looks don't matter.

I'm opposed. In my eyes it's 40/60, physical attraction to emotional.

What's your thoughts?

If your friends want you to go ga ga immediately it's physical, padawan.

If they're slow burning you then it's everything else.

Your housemates were rude to judge you on this though.

 

[NaturalDisaster]

In no order:

- Sense of humour/not too sensitive, also a good personality, not boring or vanilla. Not too much of a conformist either.. I don't like people (and women) who conform to everything for the sake of conforming and act like sheep. They don't have to be an complete weirdo outcast, but don't just do things or like things just because everyone else does it.
- Not clingy/posessive or controlling: I'm going to go on a mini rant here and I don't mean to sound sexist, I don't think all women are like this. But i've seen too many women treat their partners or husbands like their children, making decision for them, telling them how to dress, telling them not to order a certain meal because "they won't eat it all" scolding them like children etc etc. If a man did this, he would be considered an abusive twat.
- Not shallow or judgemental
- Physical attraction - not as important, but especially upon first impression there has to be some sort of physical attraction.

 

[RU_]

If your friends want you to go ga ga immediately it's physical, padawan.

If they're slow burning you then it's everything else.

Your housemates were rude to judge you on this though.

Their argument was that their friend had just come out of a relationship and her ex partner moved on rather quickly, so they wanted her to as well. I told them there wasn't anything physical there and it'd be nothing more than a quick root and bolt from my end which would end up with her more hurt than she is now. They don't believe that physical attraction is something and so didn't agree with me.

They are a lesbian couple for clarification, so I figure one of them was following in the others foot steps.

 

[HairyO]

Im just looking for someone who isnt repulsed by the sight of me. I live in hope.

 

[PhatBoy]

Im just looking for someone who isnt repulsed by the sight of me. I live in hope.

One of my finest pick up efforts at uni, post break up with my girlfriend at the time, unfolded with me simply staggering up to a girl I’d had a from-afar thing for, and saying ‘can I go home with you.’

Her response: ‘um.... ok. Let me get a bit drunker first’ has stayed with me forever

 

[ShanDog]

They don't believe that physical attraction is something and so didn't agree with me.

I was so confused...

They are a lesbian couple for clarification

...but then I wasn't.

 

[HairyO]

One of my finest pick up efforts at uni, post break up with my girlfriend at the time, unfolded with me simply staggering up to a girl I’d had a from-afar thing for, and saying ‘can I go home with you.’

Her response: ‘um.... ok. Let me get a bit drunker first’ has stayed with me forever

Ive known a few guys who will go up to girl after girl getting rejected but there are always a couple who say yes.

 

[perthblue]

Physical attraction, creativity, sense of humour, tact, modesty, integrity, compassionate, non-judgemental (usually has to have a sketchy past for these last 2 to be true), likes kids.

You can probably develop a physical attraction to somebody you didnt initally find attractive, if you spend lots of time with them and get along. But thats probably rare. If you arent into someone physically from the get go then you usually won't ever entertain the thought of dating them.

 

[Shell]

Physically: decent body/keeps fit, nice eyes/smile, good shoulders and arms.

All the other stuff: wicked sense of humor (darker the better nothing is off limits), easy going, intelligent, trust worthy and likes footy and have a bit in common (but not everything in common )

One thing i couldn't give a shit about : car he drives and money well 2 things actually

 

[_jrtp09_]

Physical attraction
Sexual chemistry
Shared values (trust fits in here)
Compatible personalities (not necessarily similar, Myer - Briggs has a formula to support this)
If the couple connect at a physical, emotional, spiritual and intellectual level then they have something going for them already.
Plus I think you need to bring compassion and consideration with you to a relationship too. And a dose of patience for those testing moments. [emoji4]

 

[Shell]

What qualities matter to you when seeking a future partner?

Obviously for a ONS or FWB arrangement it's probably not vital that there's is some emotional attraction, but there needs to be some physical in my opinion.

Ended up in a shit fight with my two female housemates the other day when they were trying to wingman me with their friends, and were going through the options.

Ended up on their bad side for a night because I said no to a girl I wasn't attracted to physically and I obviously don't know her emotionally/personally to comment otherwise, however they were very persistent that looks don't matter.

I'm opposed. In my eyes it's 40/60, physical attraction to emotional.

What's your thoughts?

Q. why the hell do they even care so much and/or getting so pissed at you about it?

And I 100% agree with you- the worst thing you could have done is just shagged her (note- if she wanted something more- she could also be "up" for "just" a shag too which is fine) and dumped her.

How about people stay out of other people's shit ffs and respect their opinions/ call that they are not attracted to someone.

 

[Shell]

Q. Is fighting important in a relationship? Not abuse or anything like that, but idk.. some kind of conflict.

Me and my ex never fought. Idk if there was something wrong with us in that department.

 

[exe ex machina]

Horses for courses

 

[RelaxMax]

What's your thoughts?

It takes time to get to know someone's qualities and a life time to get to know your own. Sometimes we look for whats in others, but don't recognise what is lacking (or undernourished) in ourselves. Blah, blah,blah...

1. Do I want to spend time getting to know this person?
2. Do I want this person to know about me?
3. How much time do I want to spend together?
4. Do I want to hug (no passion) or kiss (passion) this person?
5. What else do I find attractive about this person?

I have learnt, through trial and error, to give myself time to discover who someone is (not what I project them to be) and who I am with them.

 

[Shell]

It takes time to get to know someone's qualities and a life time to get to know your own.
.

Exactly, the reason why I don't use tinder. Good luck to those who do, but it's not for me.


You hear that Billy ray

 

[RelaxMax]

1. There MUST be a sexual (not romantic) attraction. Sexual chemistry matters, even if in the long-run as married people the sex dies down.
2. Someone who IS your friend in life. Who you want to share your thoughts and experiences with. Who challenges your mind -- challenging one's mind is not necessarily based on intelligence, like they have to be intellectual. But more where your mindset could be say dark and negative, or serious and solid to the ground, whilst your partner's mindset is light and breezy, or fun and free. Even if one person is intellectual and the other a little dumb, or both dumb, or both smart.
3. Someone you TRUST, and don't worry about cheating, or being possessive over, etc. Someone you don't HAVE TO be around 24/7, but both are able to be apart, functioning...in terms of trust.
4. Most importantly....THE quality to seek in any partner (be it family, friend, co-worker, boss, or lover) is....drum-roll......THOUGHTFULNESS. i.e., the person thinks about you, takes you into consideration. Eg, "Oh i was shopping today for a skirt and I remembered how you love cars so much, i was passing by this little bookstore selling calendars, and i saw one about classic muscle cars, so I bought it for you." Or....."I remembered you said you had a job interview this afternoon and might not get a chance to go to lunch, so I made this sandwich for you to take along"......and all those kinds of things. Where you're thoughtful of the other person ALONGSIDE your own self, not more than or less than yourself, but alongside. When someone is intrinsically thoughtful in these examples I give, it means they will be thoughtful of you in far bigger and deeper ways.

Take all this I say to the house and you'll not go wrong.

Love it!

In our "courting time", he bought and gave me a little card he saw in a shop window that said "I think of you often. Not all the time, but often." He wasn't looking for it, he wasn't shopping at that place... he just saw it and walked in and bought it. Probably only cost him 80c but it's worth millions to me.

 

[exe ex machina]

Love it!

In our "courting time", he bought and gave me a little card he saw in a shop window that said "I think of you often. Not all the time, but often." He wasn't looking for it, he wasn't shopping at that place... he just saw it and walked in and bought it. Probably only cost him 80c but it's worth millions to me.

I forgot to add that thoughtfulness is the root of all other good/desired qualities like - honesty, loyalty, humility, trust, etc etc. Because goodness only can come from thinking outside of oneself.

 

[HairyO]

Q. Is fighting important in a relationship? Not abuse or anything like that, but idk.. some kind of conflict.

Me and my ex never fought. Idk if there was something wrong with us in that department.

I argue with everyone. Not sure I could cope being around someone who agreed with me on everything.

That said, I doubt anyone with kids has never argued with their partner.

 

[Shell]

I argue with everyone. Not sure I could cope being around someone who agreed with me on everything.

.

Yeah I look back on it, it was kinda boring tbh. (not him). just the lack of it. We were both Geelong supporters too. /yawn.