What we are up against

[HoldenMCaulfield]

i was outside gate before the game, at half time and at full time.

http://www.quit.org.au/

 

[Look2Me4Guidance]

i was outside gate before the game, at half time and at full time.

Found nothing

Well done internet warrior.

Pity you can't find a life.

 

[Optimax]

http://www.quit.org.au/

Very good advice, smoking is a terrible habit.

very good thing i dont do it

 

[Mental Magpie]

That photo was too generous to the collingwood faithful. You forgot the dick on his head. Apart from that, I hate Collingwood and their supporters, can't wait to sink my boots into them after the game.

Did you sink the boots in?

 

[Mental Magpie]

So you have seen your club win one more than me..... well done

I am 20 and seen none and you think i give a ****? I BLEED RED WHITE AND BLACK.

I wont be looking for you mate because you are a ****ing goose and you wouldnt be worth me geting kicked out of the ground after kicking yur fat ass then missing the 10 goal thrashing we hand you. I will be glad to meet you outside the ground tho

From your arse!

Ha ha!

 

[Squizz]

It's a good thing these quality folk from Collingwood will be _ucking off soon, as if I laugh any harder at their "jokes" I'll need a corset to stop my sides from splitting.

But whilst we are telling jokes :

12 ways to tell if you are a Collingwood Fan
1. A Halloween pumpkin has more teeth than your wife does.
2. You won't let your 12 year old daughter smoke at the dinner table (in front of her kids).
3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
4. Jack Daniels makes your list of "most admired people."
5. Someone in your family once died right after saying, "Hey, watch this!"
6. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
7. A ceiling fan once ruined your wife's hairdo.
8. You think the last words of Advance Australia Fair are: "Carn the Pies!"
9. The market value of your car goes up and down depending on how much petrol is in it.
10. One of your kids was born on a pool table.
11. You can't marry your sweetheart because there's a law against it.
12. Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.

 

[Squizz]

They are old, but stand the test of time :

Q. If you see a Collingwood fan on a bicycle, why should you avoid hitting him?
A. It could be your bicycle.


Q. What do Collingwood fans and sperm have in common?
A. One in 3 million has a rough chance of becoming a human being.


Q. What do you have when 100 Collingwood fans are buried up to their necks in sand?
A. Not enough sand.


Q. What's the difference between a dead dog on the road and a dead Collingwood fan on the road?
A. There are skid marks in front of the dog.


Q. You are trapped in a room with a crocodile, a tiger and a Collingwood fan. You have a gun with 2 bullets. What do you do?
A. Shoot the Collingwood fan. Twice.


Q. What's the difference between a female Collingwood fan and a PitBull?
A. Lipstick.


Q. Santa Claus, The Tooth Fairy, an intelligent Collingwood fan and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a $100 note. Who gets it?
A. The drunk, of course; the other three are mythical characters.


Q. What do Collingwood fans use for birth control?
A. Their personalities.

 

[Squizz]

They will keep coming whilst we keep getting trollers :

Mick Malthouse goes to a football reunion at Richmond and starts chatting with Terry Wallace. Terry says to Mick, "Well Mick, I don't know what you think of your players at Collingwood, but mine here are all bright and brilliant.
"How do you know?" asks Mick.
"Oh well, it's simple", says Terry. "We put them through a special intelligence test before they can play here. Just pick any of my players and we will see how well he does."
Mick thinks for a while and then nominates Matthew Richardson.
Terry calls him over and asks him," Tell me Matty, who is the child of your father and of your mother who is not your brother and is not your sister?"
"Ah, that's simple plow," says Matthew, "it's me".
"Well done Matty", says Terry, and Mick is very impressed.
Mick returns to Collingwood and wonders about the intelligence of the team.
He calls in Buckley and asks," Nathan, tell me, who is the child of your father and of your mother who is not your brother and is not your sister?"
Nathan thinks and thinks and doesn't know the answer. "Can I think about it a bit more Mick, and I'll give you an answer tomorrow?"
"Of course," says Mick, "you've got 24 hours. But it is very important that you come up with the answer."
Nathan goes away, thinks as hard as he can, and then he calls in his teammates. Rocca thought it might be his Grandpa but wasn't sure. Tarrant was certain that it couldn't be anyone. McKee admitted he was sacked from Richmond for not knowing. Cloke also owned up to failing the test while trying to get a position at Punt Rd. Prestigiacomo thought it could be a cousin in Italy who had been adopted as a child. The rest of the team wouldn't even hazard a guess. Licuria went into the foetal position. 20 hours later, Nathan is very worried that he still has no answer with only 4 hours to go. Eventually Nathan says" I know, I'll ring James Hird! He's clever, he'll know the answer."
He calls James. "Hirdy," he says, "tell me, who is the child of your father and of your mother who is not you brother and is not your sister?"
"Very simple," says James, "it's me!"
"Of course!" says Nathan and immediately rings Mick.
"Mick," says Nathan," I've got the answer: it's James Hird."
"No, you idiot," says Mick. "It's Matthew Richardson."