Arts & Humanities Where have you woken up?

[Lazarus]

Unfortunately, I don't have many stories like this but I think GD will. My best is in a park, with no shirt

 

[Dazb86]

On the footpath with my arms tucked into my shirt. Woke up at 11am or so. Surprised nobody called the cops to be honest.

 

[Echo Bravo]

Only real eventful one for me was when I got drunk while camping and regained consciousness (I don't think 'waking up' is the correct term in this case...) crouching behind a log in the bush covered in vomit.

 

[Dont be a lemon]

A lane/alley in Brunswick

 

[grizzlym]

My brother woke up in the median strip of Punt Road in Windsor with peak hour traffic buzzing around him.

I've woken up in a hedge. In a garage in Carlton surrounded by 100s of milk crates. I even woke up in an army barracks in Jerusaleum with a vague memory of meeting a female private at a club on New years eve.

But the story that takes the cake is one I heard from a customer when I worked in a bottleshop.

This bloke wandered into the shop at about 11 on a lazy Sunday morning. It was obvious he'd been out all night. He had a smile on his face; looked kind of content.

"Big night, mate?" I said for the sake of politeness.

"Oh yes, I woke up in Altona Cemetary, long, long way from home for me, and I was bent over a gravestone with my pants around my ankle," said the bloke with undisguised pride.

"I don't know how I got there or what happened, but I'd love to find out."

And with that he wandered out of the shop with a grin on his face.

 

[Plugger35]

Probably too many to mention, so many nights when you end up hammered and can't get a cab home and just sleep wherever.

My most memorable one was when I went to a cocktail party at a surf club here and underestimated the strength of the cocktails. Got absolutely trashed and couldn't get a cab so tried to walk the few kms back to my house. Ended up giving up and sleeping in someones front yard, was freezing cold though and found that their garage/games room was open so slept in there. Got woken up a few hours later by the owner that was pointing a f***ing pistol at me. I think he realised pretty quickly I was just a harmless drunken bum rather than a burgler and let me go on my way.

Also woke up in the grounds of a church in London after I missed the last tube home, luckily it was summer so it wasn't too cold. Fell asleep drunk on the tube a couple of times too and got woken up at the end of the line by the tube guards.

Woke up once on a little wall in Ios in Greece after a big night, our hostel was on top of a big hill and in my drunken state I must have decided the hill was too much trouble and had a nap on the wall instead. Some thieving bastard decided to help themselves to my wallet while I was asleep too which caused me no end of dramas.

 

[beez]

Out the front of the entrance to the Aquatic centre in Wagga, had a great few days there.

 

[grizzlym]

They used to - still might - hold this Botanica Show outside the Arts Centre in Melbourne. Block St Kilda Rd off, lots of plants and stuff, a big stage, heaps of people. I went on a bender one day in Uni on Aus-Study day. We left home at 8.30 and went straight to the Duke of Windsor in Prahran. Over the cause of the day we pub-crawled into town, where we bought a slab and drank it in the white ball sculpture behind the NGV. Next thing I know is I wake up under the main stage of Botanica... I could hear some show going on above me.... a few stubbies were lying next to me....

 

[s1bbald]

Went from Albury to the beach by the Spirit of Tasmania (docked in Victoria, thankfully!), one night. Woke up on the beach, apparently I was only out for ten minutes, but I couldn't remember getting there for the life of me. Victim of both a spontaneous designated driver/seeing a movie which involved the beach before hitting the sauce and wanting to go. Makes for a half decent story though...

 

[Ross Prunster]

Not me, but a mate when i lived in the Pilbara - also funny cause it was typical of the bloke. Mining town, parallal roads, similar looking houses, dirt laneways dividing the roads, no crime so all doors unlocked. After a cricket barbie, early hours of the morning John Doe has stumbled into his house and passed out in his long room floor. Woken up by the kids in the morning sitting around him playing their nintendo. As he described it, thought f****** kids, waking me up this early with the f****** nintendo blaring. Few seconds, shit, I haven't got a nintendo, shit, I haven't got any kids. He got the right house, just the wrong street. Kids didn't care, parents didn't care, he didn't care. F*** I loved that town.

 

[Handsome.B.Wonderful]

Know a bloke who went to the Vineyard in St Kilda one night. He was chatting up a bird and doing well when Michael Gardiner (during his final pre season with West Coast) walked in with a gangster looking bloke. Anyway Gardy comes over for a chat and takes a liking to the female, the gangster offers to buy some drinks for the group.

Next thing he remembers is waking up in a lane behind the bar the next morning covered in dirt.

 

[The Passenger]

far too many places... public transport is a killer. woken up many many stops past my intented destination, and even once in the train yard about 4am.

slept in my front garden one night when i couldn't get the keys to work and didn't wanna wake my folks up. mum said she shit herself when she saw legs hanging out from the bushes.

 

[ShearMagic9]

Woke up in a driveway once.

One of my mates had a big party - free piss, so wise old me decided to walk home at about 2am.

Come 6am I had an angry person hooting at me to get out of teh way because they were trying to reverse their car.

 

[The Passenger]

Woke up in a driveway once.

that's shit's kinda scary aye.... the first (and so far only one that i know of) guy from my high school graduation year to die was killed when he was passed on a road and was run over by a garbage truck....

 

[PieBeast]

At home.

Had no idea how i got there last saturday night was that wasted.

 

[bresker]

Last week, at a pedestrian crossing. More like snapped into consciousness. Was upright, but leaning on a pole. Feet frozen.

Also -

- In the middle of the road outside the Irish pub in Geelong, with an old bloke explaining to a cop how he found me there. Cop took me into the backpackers dorm. Room stank of dope. One of my mate's had tied another one to the bed by his shoelaces in his sleep. When the cop came in he jumped up and took the whole bed over onto the floor. Cop just looked round, and walked out.

- With a strange girl doing sex with me in my bed

- Under a caravan, with my pants round my ankles, and a security guard shaking me. It took us ages to find the right caravan. We walked round half the night.

 

[wce4premiership]

Petrol stations
Bushes
Backyars
Randoms houses (of which nobody even knows who i am)
cars parked in places i dont remember.
caravan
park

can't remember all of them lol

 

[woopedazz]

Amateurs.

 

[indieswan96]

In my bed.

 

[Pumbi]

On a lawn bowls green.

 

[Messenger]

On a trampoline in Park Orchards.

 

[flashmanvc]

In one of those tube slides at a playground in Northcote. Was woken up by some kids looking inside.

Also, after having had a massive lash one winter's night, woke up freezing in the back of someones car (don't know whose) in a car park, with my arms through my jeans legs and a high-vis vest wrapped around my legs.

 

[rhinowce]

Out the front of the entrance to the Aquatic centre in Wagga, had a great few days there.

Haha big night at the VIC im guessing..

 

[smiddaz123]

In a bush after the grand final replay. Tried walking home from town, didn't happen. Was minus my iphone.

Totally worth it. Awesome day/night.

 

[yeah_nah]

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