- May 23, 2012
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- Tottenham Hotspur, New Orleans Pels
Bonjour, and welcome to another big week in NBA basketball.
Some of the more astute among you may have noticed we didn't do a thread for last week. Cynics may have surmised that it was because All-Star week is about as exciting as extensive press coverage over juvenile friendships being ruined over ticket allocations for pop stars... however the sad truth is that the thread HAD to be delayed. Not because it was All-star snooze-week, and not because peternorth demanded all basketball-related activity cease whilst he continued his never-ending quest for Taylor Swiftdressing room access tickets.
No, I'm afraid the truth is even more scandalous than that - I just didn't have anything prepared. Mea culpa.
To make it up to all and sundry, I've got something special prepared for this week - and by special, I mean a bunch of obscure NBA trivia questions. Yes, I'm being serious. Yes, I totally worked really hard on this and did a lot of research. And no, I'm not trying to pull a.. uh, swifty on you all. Not I.
Just think of it as a chance to prove your bona fides - like wearing some cheap paraphernalia to show everyone you're a hardcore fan. And it won't even cost you $500 a ticket.
Pictured: some true fans. Not pictured: P. North Esq, P. North's broken heart.
10 Curly Questions Designed to Trick You like Ben Simmons Tricks the Nets into Paying his Max Salary
1. Who leads the NBA in both minutes played and minutes per game this season?
2. Jaren Jackson and Desmond Bane have played the most minutes for the Grizzlies this season. Which players on their roster round out the top five?
3. Steph Curry, Luka Doncic, Trae Young and Paul George are the top four in the league for threes drained this season - which Knick ranks fifth?
4. Steph Curry ranks 18th all-time in playoffs 3Pt% at 39.7% (for players who have made 100+ threes). Which current Celtic ranks just below him at 19th?
5. The top six longest tenured players on their respective teams are Steph Curry (2009), Klay Thompson (2011), Draymond Green (2012), Giannis Antetokounmpo (2013), Joel Embiid (drafted 2014) and Nikola Jokic (drafted 2014). Which current Maverick is the next longest tenured player?
6. Which team has had the most different players take the floor for them this season - Washington, Detroit, Memphis, Toronto or Philly?
7. Three players aged 22 or younger rank in the top-10 in the league for usage - can you name them?
8. Which Laker ranks 251st out of 254 eligible players in terms of lowest number of fouls committed per 100 possessions?
9. Which two currently playoff-bound teams rank among the top-5 youngest squads in terms of average age?
10. Can you name the highest paid players currently on the Magic, Hornets and Pistons' rosters respectively?
Tallied up your final scores? Good, let's see how you did.
0 - Look, it's embarrassing, I'm not going to lie. But if the Pistons are still allowed to play after losing 28 in a row, then you're still allowed to post here.
1-2 - Well, you're not Detroit... but like the Bulls or Hawks, it's hard to work out whether you're in or out.
3-4 - There's some raw talent there, but you're probably too busy enjoying life to notice every single obscure bit of hoops trivia. Zion would be proud.
5-6 - You're obviously paying enough attention that you're probably in danger of getting fired at work for watching games. Unless of course you're a regular in the betting thread, in which case your job and your hobby marry nicely.
7-8 - Now we're really entering impressive territory. At the very least you're now qualified to replace Doc Rivers as the Bucks' coach.
9 - You should probably seek help as a hopeless hoops addict with possible OCD features. On the plus side, sauces tell me that peternorth wants to hire you to write next week's thread. And all the other threads for the foreseeable future. I flew too close to the sun and made one too many Taylor Swift jokes.
10 - To be honest I suspect that, like the Lakers, you've had a little outside assistance in inflating your win total here. Shame on you.
All puns, putdowns and social commentary in this OP should be considered puerile, and probably be allowed to pass over your head.
Coming Up:
Monday - Doc's return to Philly, the Suns and Lakers get ready to trade more barbs, plus Dubs/Nuggets and the Rick Carlisle Cup in Indy.
Tuesday - Yawn. Kings/Heat better be decent, cos the rest of the fare promises to be a snoozefest.
Wednesday - Over-used meme posting may be be down 80% when Philly and Boston do battle again. The Cavs need Mitchell back by the time Luka's Mavs visit, while the short-handed Knicks host the possibly soon-to-be shorthanded Pels. Bring back the biff.
Thursday - It's the LA derby, which will be followed by nap time and a nice cup of tea. Meanwhile the Nugs host the Kings, while a visit to Indy is not what the Pels need on a back-to-back.
Friday - Finals rematch in Denver, plus Steph visits MSG in the hope of haunting the Knicks again.
Saturday - Pork and Luka get re-acquainted in Boston, while the Kings tackle the Minnesota juggernaut. For some reason the Pels now host the Pacers.
Sunday - It's not Father's Day, but the Nugs visit the Lakers anyway. Suns/Rockets is the only other half-interesting fixture to look for.
Sadly we don't all get a week off like NBA players during the All-star weekend entertainment extravaganza - but try to enjoy your week anyway, guys.
Some of the more astute among you may have noticed we didn't do a thread for last week. Cynics may have surmised that it was because All-Star week is about as exciting as extensive press coverage over juvenile friendships being ruined over ticket allocations for pop stars... however the sad truth is that the thread HAD to be delayed. Not because it was All-star snooze-week, and not because peternorth demanded all basketball-related activity cease whilst he continued his never-ending quest for Taylor Swift
No, I'm afraid the truth is even more scandalous than that - I just didn't have anything prepared. Mea culpa.
To make it up to all and sundry, I've got something special prepared for this week - and by special, I mean a bunch of obscure NBA trivia questions. Yes, I'm being serious. Yes, I totally worked really hard on this and did a lot of research. And no, I'm not trying to pull a.. uh, swifty on you all. Not I.
Just think of it as a chance to prove your bona fides - like wearing some cheap paraphernalia to show everyone you're a hardcore fan. And it won't even cost you $500 a ticket.
Pictured: some true fans. Not pictured: P. North Esq, P. North's broken heart.
10 Curly Questions Designed to Trick You like Ben Simmons Tricks the Nets into Paying his Max Salary
1. Who leads the NBA in both minutes played and minutes per game this season?
A: DeMar DeRozan, who is already over 2,000 mins and counting. I guess when you're in title contention you have to go for these things. Oh, wait...
2. Jaren Jackson and Desmond Bane have played the most minutes for the Grizzlies this season. Which players on their roster round out the top five?
A: Vince Williams, David Roddy and Santi Aldama. Press 'F' for the Griz's season.
3. Steph Curry, Luka Doncic, Trae Young and Paul George are the top four in the league for threes drained this season - which Knick ranks fifth?
A: Donte DiVincenzo - 168 treys at 41.4%. Remember when Stephen A. spent the 2022 Draft coverage talking about how dumb the Knicks are? Yep.
4. Steph Curry ranks 18th all-time in playoffs 3Pt% at 39.7% (for players who have made 100+ threes). Which current Celtic ranks just below him at 19th?
A: Al Horford - 149 playoff threes knocked down at 39.6%. Also, would you believe Jokic is fifth all-time at 41.2%? The more you know.
5. The top six longest tenured players on their respective teams are Steph Curry (2009), Klay Thompson (2011), Draymond Green (2012), Giannis Antetokounmpo (2013), Joel Embiid (drafted 2014) and Nikola Jokic (drafted 2014). Which current Maverick is the next longest tenured player?
A: Dwight Powell has been with Dallas since the Rajon Rondo trade in Dec, 2014. He's kinda like those complementary tubes of toothpaste you take home from the dentist, set down with your keys when you get home, and then forget to ever use. I reckon the Mavs should get a bumper sticker saying "I survived the Rondo trade and all I got was this bizarre trivia question''.
6. Which team has had the most different players take the floor for them this season - Washington, Detroit, Memphis, Toronto or Philly?
A: The Raptors take the cake (27 players and counting) narrowly from Philly, Memphis and Detroit (all 26) and Washington (23). Poor Scottie Barnes is probably just getting confused at this point - Markquis Nowell and D.J. Carton? Great name for a hip-hop duo, not sure about this hoops caper though.
7. Three players aged 22 or younger rank in the top-10 in the league for usage - can you name them?
A: Anthony Edwards (6th), Victor Wembanyama (7th) and Cam Thomas (10th). Let's just say being green doesn't prohibit one from getting the green light.
8. Which Laker ranks 251st out of 254 eligible players in terms of lowest number of fouls committed per 100 possessions?
A: LeBron James at 1.6 fouls per 100 possessions. I'm pretty sure there have been more than 1.6 media articles for every time LeBron has felt hard-done-by the whistleblowers.
9. Which two currently playoff-bound teams rank among the top-5 youngest squads in terms of average age?
A: OKC (tied for youngest with San Antonio, average age 23.2) and Orlando (3rd, average age 23.9). Vaping and TikTok stats as yet undetermined.
10. Can you name the highest paid players currently on the Magic, Hornets and Pistons' rosters respectively?
A: Jonathan Isaac ($17.4m), Davis Bertans ($17m) and Evan Fournier ($18.8m). One of these teams is not like the others.
Tallied up your final scores? Good, let's see how you did.
0 - Look, it's embarrassing, I'm not going to lie. But if the Pistons are still allowed to play after losing 28 in a row, then you're still allowed to post here.
1-2 - Well, you're not Detroit... but like the Bulls or Hawks, it's hard to work out whether you're in or out.
3-4 - There's some raw talent there, but you're probably too busy enjoying life to notice every single obscure bit of hoops trivia. Zion would be proud.
5-6 - You're obviously paying enough attention that you're probably in danger of getting fired at work for watching games. Unless of course you're a regular in the betting thread, in which case your job and your hobby marry nicely.
7-8 - Now we're really entering impressive territory. At the very least you're now qualified to replace Doc Rivers as the Bucks' coach.
9 - You should probably seek help as a hopeless hoops addict with possible OCD features. On the plus side, sauces tell me that peternorth wants to hire you to write next week's thread. And all the other threads for the foreseeable future. I flew too close to the sun and made one too many Taylor Swift jokes.
10 - To be honest I suspect that, like the Lakers, you've had a little outside assistance in inflating your win total here. Shame on you.
All puns, putdowns and social commentary in this OP should be considered puerile, and probably be allowed to pass over your head.
Coming Up:
Monday - Doc's return to Philly, the Suns and Lakers get ready to trade more barbs, plus Dubs/Nuggets and the Rick Carlisle Cup in Indy.
Tuesday - Yawn. Kings/Heat better be decent, cos the rest of the fare promises to be a snoozefest.
Wednesday - Over-used meme posting may be be down 80% when Philly and Boston do battle again. The Cavs need Mitchell back by the time Luka's Mavs visit, while the short-handed Knicks host the possibly soon-to-be shorthanded Pels. Bring back the biff.
Thursday - It's the LA derby, which will be followed by nap time and a nice cup of tea. Meanwhile the Nugs host the Kings, while a visit to Indy is not what the Pels need on a back-to-back.
Friday - Finals rematch in Denver, plus Steph visits MSG in the hope of haunting the Knicks again.
Saturday - Pork and Luka get re-acquainted in Boston, while the Kings tackle the Minnesota juggernaut. For some reason the Pels now host the Pacers.
Sunday - It's not Father's Day, but the Nugs visit the Lakers anyway. Suns/Rockets is the only other half-interesting fixture to look for.
Sadly we don't all get a week off like NBA players during the All-star weekend entertainment extravaganza - but try to enjoy your week anyway, guys.
