ManWithNoName
TheBrownDog
PAUL ROOS ISSUED SHOW-CAUSE NOTICE
In a shocking twist today, Melbourne coach Paul Roos was issued a show-cause notice by the Overseeing League Directors Controlled Under National Tiers Society (O.L.D.*******.S.). The notice is believed to be in direct response to Roos' coaching performance last week where he was clearly and deliberately trying to destroy the game of football. Accusations have been made of Roos in the past but this is the first time such strong action has been taken.
Roos has been charged with deliberately and wilfully coaching in a manner negatively affecting Channel 7's TV ratings, which, as is known, is the defining measure of how enjoyable a game of football is. Chairman of the society Sam Kekovich was quoted as saying "If you don't eat Lamb you're unAustralian" for some apparent reason.
Roos' hearing was held shortly after the issuing of the notice, overseen byASADA AFL CEO Gillon McLachlan. Roos was strongly pressed to relent on his thus far successful gameplan and instead implement a more attacking, risk taking, flair-y approach. The hearing told Roos his strong defensive focus was not in line with 21st century attitudes. McLachlan at one point pleading Roos "Tear down the wall! Tear down the wall!"
Ultimately however Roos was cleared, with the O.L.D. society picking up a newspaper without the score from Monday's match in it and immediately forgetting what they were all in the room for. Messers Kekovich, Bartlett and Healy all slowly ambled out of the room, mutters of "my pills" being heard as they walked down the hall.
Despite being cleared, Roos was issued a death sentence by McLachlan for "bringing the game into disrepute". When asking how he had done so, Roos was told "We have no precedents of justification for this charge, why the hell would we start now?". Roos is expected to be executed shortly after the conclusion of Sunday's match. It is to be held in the goalsquare of his team's forward line, as McLachlan says this will cause Roos the maximum emotional distress.
Prediction: Football to be the loser
In a shocking twist today, Melbourne coach Paul Roos was issued a show-cause notice by the Overseeing League Directors Controlled Under National Tiers Society (O.L.D.*******.S.). The notice is believed to be in direct response to Roos' coaching performance last week where he was clearly and deliberately trying to destroy the game of football. Accusations have been made of Roos in the past but this is the first time such strong action has been taken.
Roos has been charged with deliberately and wilfully coaching in a manner negatively affecting Channel 7's TV ratings, which, as is known, is the defining measure of how enjoyable a game of football is. Chairman of the society Sam Kekovich was quoted as saying "If you don't eat Lamb you're unAustralian" for some apparent reason.
Roos' hearing was held shortly after the issuing of the notice, overseen by
Ultimately however Roos was cleared, with the O.L.D. society picking up a newspaper without the score from Monday's match in it and immediately forgetting what they were all in the room for. Messers Kekovich, Bartlett and Healy all slowly ambled out of the room, mutters of "my pills" being heard as they walked down the hall.
Despite being cleared, Roos was issued a death sentence by McLachlan for "bringing the game into disrepute". When asking how he had done so, Roos was told "We have no precedents of justification for this charge, why the hell would we start now?". Roos is expected to be executed shortly after the conclusion of Sunday's match. It is to be held in the goalsquare of his team's forward line, as McLachlan says this will cause Roos the maximum emotional distress.
Prediction: Football to be the loser
