Media TiFmedia Sweet FA Power Rankings - Season 37

[Braklet]

The saving grace of course being the return of prodigal daddy 'rilla and talisman Mobbs, who returned from an premier expansion club just in time​

FTFY

#cuptospoontocup

 

[TheInjuryFactory]

FTFY

#cuptospoontocup

Fixed? How dare you hobo my grammar.

 

[Elton Johns Wig]

​

#12 - Roys FFC

Next cab off the rank in the TiFmedia Power Rankings in 12th spot we find the Roys who like the Royals enjoyed a charmed run of success in the early S30s culminating in a famous fairytale premiership in S33, but now the gorillas also find themselves right in the midst of a rebuilding phase of their own.

Premiership heroes Dingster and Wosh have long since moved on, while even the bit part bench warmer types like zackah have emptied their lockers at the BJO post flag. But the greatest void the Roys will need to fill heading into S37 is that of their equal longest serving skipper in club history, TedDougChris after his shock retirement from the game. The saving grace of course being the return of prodigal daddy 'rilla and talisman Mobbs, who returned from an expansion dalliance just in time to pick up the reigns after TDC's hasty and what seemed a quite unexpected exit, but he finds the club's cupboard far poorer than when he left in the afterglow of that glorious premiership.

TDC will be sorely missed by the Roys and the league at large, but in Mobbs we trust.

​

OFF SEASON AT A GLANCE...
Notable Moves

IN:
Nil

OUT:
TedDougChris
Retired

Zevon
To Gold City Royals

Elmer_Judd
Account fired into the sun


It was a summer of surprises at the BJO. But not of the Under Siege: 'Erika Eleniak in a cake' variety. More of the Billy Madison, burning bag of dog s**t on your stoop kind unfortunately. Losing TDC has been covered and while it certainly wasn't on many people's S37 bingo card externally, one hopes the Roys had a bit of a heads up it was coming and Mobbs has the support around him internally he will need to rebolster the stocks. The loss of Zevon though is surely a body blow, as from the outside I think many would have had him collared for next in line to finally relieve TDC of his captaincy and allow him a well earned breather. However the lure of a change of scenery to assist Cadsky and co at the Golden Throne was clearly too much to ignore, despite the Roys well and truly requiring his services for S37. Elmer_Judd's comical Icarus moment just tops it off in the end, as the clubman while an acquired taste does/did (rather staggeringly) boast 2 All-SFA berths to their name so the kid can/could play.

But now he can't.

It does look like Mobbs has hit the phones though, as he has called in some favours with the cavalry arriving in the form of several returning players of the unknown quantity variety. A scene I imagine looked quite similar to Matt Damon in Air, as they were using actual rotary phones in that. And that's the nostalgic vision of Mobbs in my head that I like to imagine from time to time. Also, in that analogy that possibly makes Elton Johns Wig by proxy Affleck's Phil Knight? Which again brings a satisfying smirk to my face and makes me feel safe and warm.

On field it was a 50/50 season. Well, more of a 42.9/57.1 season as they finished with a 6 win, 8 loss record to finish Season 36. While we're on percentages, despite a superior percentage, the Roys would agonisingly fall short of a finals berth to the Dees courtesy of the Mount Buller outfit's bye with the Bears and a 3 game losing streak to end the season. A situation I am almost certain that Mobbs had a bespoke meme ready for and which no doubt brought him much mirth at the time.

It was a mixed bag individually, as perennial top flight spearhead Mooch's 54 goals saw him finish on the podium in the battle for the Fred Medal. tigs2010 just squeaked in to the top 10 in the Mobbs Medal with 13 votes in a reasonable effort for a side missing the finals. But again, like the Royals the Roys failed to register a single selection in the All-SFA side at season's end, and only Mobbs (35th) and TedDougChris (37th) managed a top 50 finish for the club.

This time last season I finished crying out for a someone to relieve TedDougChris, but this season I think it's more a case of a few established hands considering a move to the BJO mid season or next to give Mobbs a chop out, or at least a hand with some teamsheets!!

This reference totally goes over my head

 

[TheInjuryFactory]

This reference totally goes over my head

 

[Frederico_WA]

 

[Elton Johns Wig]

View attachment 1915881

Holy s**t!!!

 

[nahnah]

Well that’s reassuring, now I’m certain it’s inverted

 

[TheInjuryFactory]

I can't wait to get unnecessarily angry at 'the algorithm' when the Wonders are listed as anything but #1

What are the inverted commas about here Ressie?

Surely you're not questioning TiFmedia's patented Integrity™ or the verocity of the Power Rankings algorithm.

 

[AnUltimateRessie]

What are the inverted commas about here Ressie?

Surely you're not questioning TiFmedia's patented Integrity™ or the verocity of the Power Rankings algorithm.

I don't want to question anything that my have an effect on the Wonders rankings. Ask me again at the end.

 

[CakeEater]

What are the inverted commas about here Ressie?

Surely you're not questioning TiFmedia's patented Integrity™ or the verocity of the Power Rankings algorithm.

Verocity?

TIF is the Slobbo of the SFA.....

 

[TheInjuryFactory]

Verocity?

TIF is the Slobbo of the SFA.....

 

[CakeEater]

I tells you what TIFFY, if i knew anything more than how to push cntrl alt delete on a computer id be posting a your quite brilliant TIF right about now.

 

[AnUltimateRessie]

I am still awake at 1am on a work night because I can not contain how EXCITED I am for todays edition of TiFmedia Sweet FA Power Rankings - Season 37

 

[TheInjuryFactory]

I am still awake at 1am on a work night because I can not contain how EXCITED I am for todays edition of TiFmedia Sweet FA Power Rankings - Season 37

I remember my first Power Rankings.

Who do you think is up next?

 

[AnUltimateRessie]

I remember my first Power Rankings.

Who do you think is up next?

I'll have my money on the Furies, TiF.

 

[TheInjuryFactory]

I'll have my money on the Furies, TiF.

I'll happily to take your money, Ressie.

 

[TheInjuryFactory]

​

#11 - East Side Hawks

Coming in at 11th in the TiFmedia Power Rankings are the East Side Hawks, who would have instantly jumped the rankings purely on the un-rebrand and ditching the Phoenix moniker alone if it were up to me, but the algorithm is far less moved by such irrational emotions and subjectivity.

But seriously, hallelujah to Callums_Guns and co for finally coming to their senses and reversing the simply woeful decision to shift away from one of the strongest brands in the competition to whatever the hell that was the last few seasons. Hate rejoices.

Part of the process was also a clean out of the list, as several players departed over the off season to accommodate a cavalcade of returning Hawks legends, having left the club in disgust at the ill conceived rebranding of their beloved club. But the Hawks are still digging themselves out of the hole they've found themselves in during the Phoenix era, and they've taken multiple steps in the right direction and look to be a club on the up in Season 37.

OFF SEASON AT A GLANCE...
Notable Moves

IN:
Tarkyn_24
via Mt Buller Demons

Strigoi
via Dragons FFC

OUT:
thewizardmelon
To Ophidian Old Boys

DemurePrincess
To Ophidian Old Boys


Now straight off the bat, it's important to call out that the Hawks have certainly brought through a f**kload of legendary clubmen this off season in Loonerty, larrikin, Biggie & boncer34 and all return to the Sweet FA as well respected and extremely credentialed contributors to a rejuvenated Eyrie. But they will be unknown quantities in their return, and as such the more notable signings for S37 are most definitely the prized poaching of HOF Immortal Tarkyn_24 from the Dees, and who some believe to be the best ruck the Dragons have produced not to have earned an All-SFA berth in Strigoi, who resumes her customary position at the Eyrie. So 6 massive signings in an incredible off season for the Hawks, with the only question marks being just how much of that former glory the cavalry will recapture this season and beyond.

Now they've clearly cut some of the dead weight away from the bottom half of their list to make way for the greats, but some collateral damage going the other way was the unexpected move of former co-captain thewizardmelon to the Old Boys in a bit of a blaze of glory/faux retirement/possible dummy spit moment late last season. DemurePrincess has also made her way to Spotswood in her second season, but I think anyone surprised she has headed to one of either the Bombers or the Ophidians probably didn't pay much attention last season. Oh and Jhye Clark 13 also crossed to the Royals too.

With the playing list on the mend and the off field stuff starting to take shape under new leadership, they'll be hoping for the same turn around on field after a dismal end to the Phoenix era saw them win the moral wooden spoon as they were only saved the ignominy by the Old Boys LG shitting the bed all season and being penalised into oblivion. A six game losing streak to end the season saw them finish with a 5 win, 9 loss record and the worst defence in the league consigning them to a second straight season without finals.

Individually, they were yet another club to not register a single All-SFA selection in S37. In fact they last had an All-SFA representative back in S34, and both reps Dingster & Chipmunk are not even with the club anymore. Going back even further than that, besides por_please_ya earning two guernseys in that time, the last current Hawk besides her to win an All-SFA start was Loonerty all the way back to S28. Fun fact for ya.

MP_ was their best rep in the Mobbs Medal in 17th overall indicative of an ordinary season at the Eyrie, Itsmyshow finished a respectable 5th in the Fred in such a horrible season and toiled manfully, while Callums_Guns finished strongly in the beez in 13th spot to give the then Phoenix some representation in the top 20. But that was all the good news to come from a shiezenhousen season overall.

That said, a quick turn around on the field to match their revolution and revitalisation off the field and we could see the Hawks storm up the rankings as they reassert themselves as one of the powerhouses of the competition.

 

[Wosh]

Nice work TIF

 

[Smartys Power]

​

#13 - Gold City Royals

6 months is a looooong time in Qooty.

This time last season, we were gushing about a Royals side sitting at #4 in the rankings coming off a top four finish and a home Prelim final as the next generation at Gold City looked bright having seen a number of their S30 premiership squad move on in recent seasons or hang up the boots. Yet S36 was a particularly challenging one in Gold City, as Cadsky and friends find themselves in dead last to kick off the Season 37 TiFmedia Power Rankings after an annus horribilis, or in layman's terms, horrible anuses. Or anii? Or anus'? Anyway, whatever is the plural of anus, well these guys just had it.

Basically, the Golden Throne is a little less Golden this season, in fact it's not gold at all... it's porcelain. And the Throne? Well it's a throne only in the sense of an 80s Dad announcing loudly he's off to read the paper on 'the throne' which was what he replaced the affectionate term 'crapper' with when he was was about to unleash an unholy destroyation on the solitary family toilet and was feeling a little bit fancy and full of whimsy.

Down 6 places to #10 at the end of Season 36, with a season that saw them only narrowly miss out on a wooden spoon courtesy of the woeful Phoenix and a horror 6 game losing streak at the Eyrie pipping them for the worst win/loss record in the comp in the last round, and the Old Boys' sheer incompetence to manage anything beyond flapping their gums. They've slid even further leading into S37 after key figures at the club failed to fire in S36, and the club hierarchy taking the speculative route with recruitment with just the one known entity recruited in Zevon from the Roys (A good pick up it must be said), the rest of the cavalry being a handful of rookies who at this stage are completely unknown qualities and a couple of journeymen vets speak to a rebuild in full swing.

​

OFF SEASON AT A GLANCE...
Notable Moves

IN:
Zevon
via Roys FFC

OUT:
Nil

Yes, I know the Royals recruited a couple of known entities in Footypie32 & Jhye Clark 13 and both, when up and about, will no doubt bolster a squad in desperate need of some elder statesmen after the losses of spookism, The Filth Wizard, Kennedy Parker, PMBangers et al in recent seasons. However Zevon is certainly the sole headliner here, and at least comes in with some exposed top end form as he leaves a Roys outfit who will be bitterly disappointed to see him go after looking for a long time like the natural successor to the late TedDougChris (you're late mate, where are you? Season's started).

Has Brenton Davy worked out after coming across from the Wonders? Jury's probably still out on that one, those internally would have a better idea but he certainly hasn't made the splash we might have expected at a new club. Is nahnah back? For Cadsky's sake I hope so, has been sporadic at best last season and in top flight has carried the club in recent times along with the ever reliable CakeEater & GreyCrow. hotchilli & grumbleguts seemed to have had nearly seasons in S36 but both are solid clubmen. I'm just listing names now at this point aren't I? Smartys Power is good for a laugh, SarahSmiles is still on a list, wow, I didn't realise until now.

They need more. More consistency, more nahnah, more rookies taking the next step, more Roys up and comers (but the Roys seem to have run out of those now)

Spared the shame of a moral wooden spoon by the Phoenix, they even very nearly succeeded in beating the Old Boys to it despite a 10 point handicap due to their extensive rap sheet at Spotswood. Only a plucky 5 point win against their run of form against the Warriors saw them scrape through to 20 points for the season, mere percentage better than the Phoenix and just two points to the good of the Ophidians who finished on 18 points and a deserved spoon. So when you combine the Royals' terrible Qooty with their list challenges and a light on recruitment phase in the off season and this consigns them to bottom place in the TiFmedia Power Rankings to kick off Season 37.

At least they look to be on the up after the first month of Qooty in S37, as they sit middle of the pack with a 2-2 record as we go to print. Let's hope it's a return to their early S30s form and it gives the club something to rally around as Cadsky has proven before to be a sound leader and capable of rebuilding a club, but no doubt needs some results to go their way in order to entice the glory hunter types who might be wooed by the promise of a key position post.

Individually, the Royals fared little better than they did as a collective. Spearhead grumbleguts finished an also ran in the Fred race in 11th place, with Membling managing slightly better in the Mobbs Medal in equal 7th on 15 votes. The All-SFA side was sans Royal, a stark contrast against 3 selections in Season 35. beez Trophy wise, the Royals failed to secure a spot in the top 20, with captain Cadsky coming in at 22nd overall. In fact, he would be their only selection inside the top 50. Overall the club finished 12th in the league for total beez votes.

I said a similar thing about the Phoenix last season, and while on paper the squad looks better than they performed in S36 and could very well enjoy the deadcat bounce, there's still plenty of opportunity for players seeking a change and/or personal glory at the Golden Throne, and Cadsky has a great opportunity to do it all over again having had some success in this situation while at the Wonders.

I like these guys, I do, but the algorithm gon' algorithm.

Time will tell I guess.

Really missed a trick to not do the Smartys Power Rankings didn’t I?

 

[Wosh]

Really missed a trick to not do the Smartys Power Rankings didn’t I?

You know what they say, 2 ratings threads are better than 1. Would be very interesting to compare algorithms

 

[Smartys Power]

You know what they say, 2 ratings threads are better than 1. Would be very interesting to compare algorithms

It would honestly just be…

1. Smartys Power
2. The rest

 

[TheInjuryFactory]

​

#10 - Sin City Swamprats

Next up in the rankings is the Sin City Swamprats, who just as quickly as they had risen up the ranks to end S36, find themselves right back down with the also rans again to kick off Season 37. Their past few seasons a perfect embodiment of a dead cat bounce.

Having ranked in 12th place this time last season, with a charmed run on the field they corrected that to a 4th placed ranking in the TiFmedia Power Rankings off the back of a 4th placed finish on the ladder, much to the smug satisfaction of one (1) Kennedy Parker esquire.

But KP has since up and left the Underground and the league proper, with a swansong season completing his 2nd admin tilt as he finished 4th in the beez and he now leaves a sizeable swagger shaped hole that the Rats were absolutely no chance of filling in the off season. So as much as they rebounded on field, the reality of their list is one in transition as last season's stability belied a fragile set up reliant on their top end contributors, of which they have just lost their strongest presence. The heady days of the late S20s live on in just a few active competitors and jackster83 now finds himself tasked with a rebuild of sorts, while I'm sure hoping they can sustain their late S36 form into a consistent block of form over the next season or two to woo further star power to Sin City.

OFF SEASON AT A GLANCE...
Notable Moves

IN:
damicky
via West Coast Wonders

OUT:
Harvey Manfrenjensenden
To Ophidian Old Boys

Kennedy Parker
Retired


So in addition to KP leaving which must have been a kick in the pants, they also received a slight flick in the dick as Harvey Manfrenjensenden followed his idol out the door and back to the familiar surrounds of Spotswood with the other old blokes.

They did manage a coup of sorts late in the piece, as a confusing off season from the former Wonders skipper damicky saw him essentially play a game of musical chairs with a handful of clubs, and when the music stopped it looks like he must have been sitting at the Swampies as they've added him to their list under an assumed identity as the rat from Ratatouille or some s**t.

But perhaps their greatest boon in Season 37 appears to have come from within, as another former admin appears to have been pulled back from the brink of delisting and has instantly given the Rats a lift, as Ant Bear has risen from the dead to resume hostilities. The Rats will be breathing a sigh of relief after an underwhelming off season, with AB's unexpected return going some way to addressing the loss of KP although the jury is still out on just how back AB actually is, given the man spent two thirds of his administration MIA. Welcome back AB.

So they may not be quite as reliant on their smallish core of skipper jackster83, the ever prolific philreich, BloodySwan and the rambunctious okeydoke7 after all, as it looks like some reinforcements have arrived just in time. But they could certainly do with more out of their list as the cupboard is fairly bare after them, although if guys like GremioPower and Hall of Famer spookism can follow AB's lead then they could turn things around very quickly.

So as we touched on, S36 was a return to form for the club who enjoyed a storied dynasty during the S20s as they managed a 4th placed finish and a double chance, bouncing back from a 12th placed finish in S35. A four game winning streak from rounds 6-9 set up their season, but of course they ultimately shat the bed and straight-setted to fulfil one of the Sweet FA's great certainties. Death, taxes and a Sweet FA top four finisher choking in straight sets.

Individually it was a mixed bag, as they continue the trend of the clubs named so far in the Power Rankings to not have an All-SFA selection last season. But they did manage an historic win in the newly minted SFACA Award, as #nepotism reigned supreme when KP awarded his teammate and loudest opponent of the award's former moniker the TFLUA-Tiger Award, fellow former admin okeydoke7 the award on the flimsiest of basis' that I can hardly even remember if I'm honest. I assume it was for not whining quite as much as everyone expected him to when he wasn't played at full forward? Yes that was it.

That said, they probably should have just played okey there, given philreich was an also ran in the goalkicking stakes finishing a distant 10th in the Fred, particularly from a top four side. They fared far better in the Mobbs Medal though, with vice captain BloodySwan finishing just two votes off the lead in 5th place overall. As we touched on already, KP was their highest beez finisher in 4th spot, with philreich also managing a top 20 finish in 12th. Their only other finisher inside the top 50 was okeydoke7 in 47th, a long way back from winning it as he had quite loudly hoped.

So the Rats will start off the pace in S37, but with some improvement from within and damicky a steadying addition to the squad, they could continue their rollercoaster ride of form in the Power Rankings and find themselves back in the top half of the comp by season's end, with their early season Qooty form encouraging and further improvement off the field still to potentially come from within.

 

[Grand Uncle Horace]

View attachment 1915341

Tell me that ain't a Simpersons gif.

Frankly I am feeling a little forlorn.

Now I have an issue about what to read.

Each season I look forward to this thread. (But then I also look forward to eating a stale vegemite sandwich.)

Now I have to look elsewhere for fun and excitement. In the last three minutes I twice re-read the wit and wisdom of Ljp86 in the collected works of the master, as edited by serial_thrilla

 

[Tonga Bob]

Tell me that ain't a Simpersons gif.

Nah mate, gifs move.

You need Shoop School.

 

[Grand Uncle Horace]

Nah mate, gifs move.

You need Shoop School.

Don't break my Abacarse, ya meanie.