Roast The Unofficial Marijuana Discussion (...Depression Thread? What?)

[100volt1]

I saw them a lot when I was a kid going through issues with my mother and school.
They just say the same things over and over.

"Get away from it"
"Count to 10 and defuse the situation"
"Ignore them"

I can't count to 10 when my mother is banging the door down because I didn't do my homework.

I can't ignore her either.

They say some stupid things sometimes and the stuff they say is never really practical in a lot of situations.

For example, my doctor yesterday told me to tell my mother to go and get help.
YEAH I'VE BEEN TELLING HER THAT FOR 10 YEARS IS SHE GOING TO LISTEN TO ME NOW?

No.

Hey Tempest,

sorry for what you're going through, i'm going through the same motions as you are but different circumstances. If you need to talk to someone flick me a message and we can have a chat. I'm going through hard times myself and it's never been harder than it is at the moment. If you're up for it, send me a message, i'm here for you mate.

 

[Swooop]

This is a little something I put together on Anxiety Depression today by way of a talk for my Nurse to deliver to the workplace. ( I'm a GP by the way, nothing more, nothing less)
I tried to write it in very simple terms so people would have some understanding of how things kind of work, without getting too caught up in all the ultra technical biochemical details - like a Layman's guide to Anxiety / Depression.
I've sent Tempest a copy already. He's a great kid, it's lovely to see you guys getting behind him. Thank you all.

ANXIETY / DEPRESSION
What are they?

• A couple of unwelcome medical conditions that come visiting sometimes – often alone, often together
• Cause is lack of a brain chemical called serotonin.
• Serotonin is your “ feel good” hormone. Or think of it as your “coping with life” hormone.
• If the level is low, it feels like life’s on top of you, everything feels hard and you often feel very down or anxious.
• If it’s normal or high, you’re on top of life and things feel normal.

• Diabetes you all know – it’s a disease whereby if your pancreas doesn’t pump out some good effective insulin – then you’re a diabetic – whether you’re male or female, tall or short, rich or poor, good family or bad family, want it or not want it – either way - you’re a diabetic.
• Anxiety and Depression – if your brain doesn’t pump out some good effective serotonin – then you’ll fell depressed or anxious - whether you’re male or female, tall or short, rich or poor, good family or bad family, want it or not want it – either way - you’re anxious or depressed - and feeling like crap.
• It’s not a matter of being weak, or not trying, or anything else – just like a diabetic can’t snap out of it, neither can someone with anxiety or depression – they both need some care and help.
• These conditions are not uncommon – some would say they’re really quite common - others would say every man and his dog either has it –or had it - or knows a family person or best mate with it.

• Anxiety – well there’s lots of different subtypes – most of you will know the General anxiety sufferer “the worry wart”, the OCD guy always worrying about checking stuff, the PTSD person, a social phobia person with overwhelming shyness etc. But the hallmark is excessive worrying, which can make you feel nervous, tired, anxious, guarded and apprehensive.
• We all worry sometimes or feel awkward other times – it really only becomes abnormal when it’s excessive. That is, either taking the fun out of your life or causing you to avoid situations that you would otherwise have been involved in – eg giving talks, going for promotions, getting stressed by simple everyday situations, spending time worrying when you should be relaxing and having fun etc - on an all too regular basis.

• Depression is defined as more than two weeks of feeling down. We all have crap days here and there, but where they follow one after the other for weeks and very often months or more, then it’s time to realise things are not quite right.
• Common symptoms include feeling sad, empty, down, often feeling pretty worthless, or hopeless or helpless, feeling the world has nothing good to offer and would probably be better off without you. Sleep is often affected. Nothing much seems interesting or enjoyable. It’s like all the bounce and colour has gone out of your life. It can affect your mind, with poor memory and concentration, a real lack of motivation, can’t be stuffed, what’s the point etc etc. You often might like a passive spectator watching your own life pass aimlessly by.
• If more severe, it can also affect your appetite and interest in relationships, which often are significantly adversely affected.

Anyhow, time for some good news!

• They’re both pretty easily fixed, especially depression.
• Mainly, you just need to build up that serotonin again.
• Think of a little serotonin bucket sitting up in the forehead part of your brain.
• It’s near empty. And we need to refill it so you feel better.

• How?
• Easy. Several things.
• Exercise really helps increase the serotonin levels in your serotonin bucket.
• So does talking to family, or a mate, or maybe your boss.
• Dark choccy helps a little bit too.
• Healthy diet - plenty of water ( you're drinking enough when your urine is clear coloured)
• But tablets, the most common ones are called SSRI’s and they are really useful. They help rebuild the serotonin levels.
• Once a day, non addictive, usually very few side effects at all.
• They take 7-10 days to kick in for anxiety, three weeks or so to kick in for depression
• Take them every day, if you miss a day here and there, they’ll really battle to climb up to the levels you need in your brain, so they can exert their effect.
• Now we got serotonin coming from all directions pouring into our little bucket.

• But what if there’s holes in our bucket?
• We need to close the holes.
• That’s where CBT ( Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) comes in.

• Either your GP, a psychologist or psychiatrist can take you through this.
• Online programs eg This Way Up, Mood Gym etc can also be a great help. Google can help you find these resources. Just google Depression Online Resources or Anxiety Online Resources.
• In a nutshell, CBT teaches you to look at bad things in a different way. When you do that, the thoughts you have about the bad event and then in turn the feelings you hold, are also different. And better. And may end up not putting a hole on your serotonin bucket.

• An example. After leaving this meeting you drive back to your worksite. You’re caught speeding. $ 400 and 3 points.
• You’re thinking things were bad enough, now this!! It’s the final straw. “Stuff it, what’s the point of me even trying, everything’s against me”, you mutter. You have punctured your bucket, and you feel even worse.
• Or – with our trusty CBT – you think, “ Yep, I needed that wake- up call – I was in a bad habit speeding, I did have a near miss just last week, so this is a very cheap, easy reminder to slow down before I kill myself - or someone else - and land myself in jail. One thought punctured your bucket of serotonin, the other CBT-modified thought, left your bucket in peace. No new hole.

• Try it, practice it – every time something makes you feel either mad or bad or sad. Challenge that initial thought, and see if you can find a better one, like our lead footed friend did. It can change your mood very quickly and can help you lift out of depression by preventing serotonin loss, or at least stop you heading further in a southerly direction.

• And also, please don’t self medicate – so many people use alcohol to help them cope– but it is actually a depressant in itself. Recreational drugs fix absolutely nothing. Gambling is not the answer. Mathematicians tell us the longer you gamble, the more certain you are to lose. More and more fleeting casual relationships also usually just take you further and further away from where you really would like to be. No one blames people for trying to self help, but please just work on lifting the serotonin, and watch things improve bit by bit.

• Final word, these conditions happen to everyone, please don’t suffer in silence or allow them to take over your life and take you in a miserable direction. They’re easily fixed, so please talk to someone, either your GP or a psychologist initially - or a psychiatrist if you're really battling and not responding to the initial treatment that you're receiving. You don’t have a whole lot to lose and lots to gain. Good luck.

Thank you for listening.

 

[Quicky]

What can you tell us about SSRI's Swooop? Once you have refilled your bucket, changed some negative thought processes, eat well and exercise regularly are they something you can expect to stop taking? What are your thoughts on going down a drug free route?

 

[TheFreshBanana]

What can you tell us about SSRI's Swooop? Once you have refilled your bucket, changed some negative thought processes, eat well and exercise regularly are they something you can expect to stop taking? What are your thoughts on going down a drug free route?

The only time I took SSRIs was during my first bout of depression.

Afterwards whenever I had an episode, I didn't bother to take SSRIs (not sure why) but I eventually got over it after a week to a few weeks. The drug itself takes at least a week or maybe two, to start working (from previous experience) plus the fatigue from the side effect was incredibly bad that I think I banked on working it out myself.

A drug free route is certainly possible but you need the tools beforehand to make it work.

 

[TheFreshBanana]

My question to Swooop is, why do peoole with depression relapse? Not sure if relapse is the right word.

Once they've been treated, the serotonin levels have been balanced out, shouldn't you be... healthy?

Why does a relapse become that much more prominent? Is it a biological process? Is it something we can control?

 

[Swooop]

What can you tell us about SSRI's Swooop? Once you have refilled your bucket, changed some negative thought processes, eat well and exercise regularly are they something you can expect to stop taking? What are your thoughts on going down a drug free route?

Hey Quicky, hope you're well

First, SSRIs are certainly not the only option of drug classes to take.
It's just they're probably the commonest ones used.

When to stop them is a matter of opinion.

I guess the industry standard is as follows.

1st episode - stay on them for 6 months ( then stop and see how you go, whilst hopefully continuing the other drug free options)
2nd episode - stay on them for 12 months
3rd episode - stay on them for 24 months
4th episode - stay on them for good - some people are just genetically low in serotonin, it runs in the family and life just goes better on a pill a day.

Personally, I'm more ''easy come easy go'' than the above. I'd start them earlier than some other colleagues ( I don't like to see my patients get too far down before starting them) but equally, when people feel better I'm generally happy for them to come off earlier than the above schedule.)

Staying on for the fuller length of time does probably give a more sustained, consolidated rise and is probably preferable overall.

But then I find with my relative easy come easy go approach, that more people are willing to commit to it and give the tablets a go in the first place.

So it's a balance, but I think the gains of the easy come easy go approach outweigh the possible slight disadvantage of coming off it a bit earlier.

Lots of people have very negative perceptions of antidepressants, they get a bad wrap in many areas, which is pretty unfair IMHO as they do so much good, and so little bad, so the battle as a health person is to get your patient's confidence just to give them a go in the first place. Part of that, is knowing that you can stop them whenever you don't feel comfortable - you're not going to be held prisoner here against your wishes. But I do stress that they take a while to kick in, up to 3-4 weeks for depression, and that's assuming you take them every day.

Also, once people are on it, you can then chat about the possible wisdom of staying on a bit longer, and most are happy to do this as they feel so much better and have developed trust in their medications.

The other hormones involved as well as serotonin, there's dopamine and noradrenaline aswell, but serotonin is just the main one.

I deliberately tried to keep the talk above pretty basic and conceptual to give a take home working knowledge of roughly how things fit together.

 

[Swooop]

My question to Swooop is, why do peoole with depression relapse? Not sure if relapse is the right word.

Once they've been treated, the serotonin levels have been balanced out, shouldn't you be... healthy?

Why does a relapse become that much more prominent? Is it a biological process? Is it something we can control?

Hi TFB,

A number of reasons.

The production of these brain chemicals is under the control of your genes and DNA. Some people are prone to produce lower levels than others, so have less reserve than others. They are kind of sailing closer to the wind, if you like. It then doesn't take as much to get them down.

Some have thought processes that are more favourable to others - eg as above - when we next get caught speeding, do we think it's shockingly unfair, think like a victim or do we think it's a fair cop and a good wake up call. When we get sacked, is that terrible and unfair or an opportunity to shine elsewhere. If someone dumps on us, is it our problem - or their problem. I'd be trying to use the CBT type thinking as a daily thing I reckon and this may be protective from the "bucket insulation" viewpoint.

Social supports and ongoing life events, alcohol and or drug intakes, diet, exercise regimes, how your footy teams going etc etc all have a role as well.

 

[the mighty T]

I saw them a lot when I was a kid going through issues with my mother and school.
They just say the same things over and over.

"Get away from it"
"Count to 10 and defuse the situation"
"Ignore them"

I can't count to 10 when my mother is banging the door down because I didn't do my homework.

I can't ignore her either.

They say some stupid things sometimes and the stuff they say is never really practical in a lot of situations.

For example, my doctor yesterday told me to tell my mother to go and get help.
YEAH I'VE BEEN TELLING HER THAT FOR 10 YEARS IS SHE GOING TO LISTEN TO ME NOW?

No.

Hey Tempest

It's quite normal to have difficulties finding a psych or a counselor that you can establish a good relationship with. A lot of us mental health types get bogged down in strategies and techniques that we miss the person sitting in front of us. That being said, the right health providers can be beneficial.

I've experienced a few episodes of depression in my life and slowly I've gotten better at dealing with it and resolving the issues I'm facing at that point in time, but early days it was tough.

If ever you need to chat, just shoot me a message.

Pete

 

[NT.Thunder]

Swoop Great posts above mate and thanks for the advice as regardless of whether clinically you're diagnosed with depression or just getting through life as hectic as it can be now days, these are great tips to ease the hectic life cycle.

What about vitamin supplements like St Johns Wart or similar coupled with healthy eating and exercise. I've heard that these can help but maybe it's an old wives tale.

I travel regularly, as I type this from another Q-Lounge and with 2 kids and a wife working longer hours I do find it difficult to eat well and exercise. I've just started taking supplements and am interested in your thoughts.

One word of warning for those of you that feel stressed/tired living hectic lives, be careful what you tell your GP which sounds stupid. I had my regular annual medical check up and when my doctor asked me how I was feeling I told her tired and a little stressed which to me was everyday life working long hours and travelling away with work every second week. My personal insurance company got hold of this from my GP and now I now have a 2 year caveat on me claiming insurance on mental illness related claims as I am now high risk apparently.....can't say I was too happy about that.

They weren't worried I served in operations overseas with defence 10 years ago, but my 50+ hour weeks were concerning to them......

 

[CLUBMEDhurst]

Hi TFB,

A number of reasons.

The production of these brain chemicals is under the control of your genes and DNA. Some people are prone to produce lower levels than others, so have less reserve than others. They are kind of sailing closer to the wind, if you like. It then doesn't take as much to get them down.

Some have thought processes that are more favourable to others - eg as above - when we next get caught speeding, do we think it's shockingly unfair, think like a victim or do we think it's a fair cop and a good wake up call. When we get sacked, is that terrible and unfair or an opportunity to shine elsewhere. If someone dumps on us, is it our problem - or their problem. I'd be trying to use the CBT type thinking as a daily thing I reckon and this may be protective from the "bucket insulation" viewpoint.

Social supports and ongoing life events, alcohol and on drug intakes, diet, exercise regimes, how your footy teams going etc etc all have a role as well.

Mindfulness Based CT's a good treatment option for thr prevention of relapse

 

[Swooop]

Swoop Great posts above mate and thanks for the advice as regardless of whether clinically you're diagnosed with depression or just getting through life as hectic as it can be now days, these are great tips to ease the hectic life cycle.

What about vitamin supplements like St Johns Wart or similar coupled with healthy eating and exercise. I've heard that these can help but maybe it's an old wives tale.

I travel regularly, as I type this from another Q-Lounge and with 2 kids and a wife working longer hours I do find it difficult to eat well and exercise. I've just started taking supplements and am interested in your thoughts.

One word of warning for those of you that feel stressed/tired living hectic lives, be careful what you tell your GP which sounds stupid. I had my regular annual medical check up and when my doctor asked me how I was feeling I told her tired and a little stressed which to me was everyday life working long hours and travelling away with work every second week. My personal insurance company got hold of this from my GP and now I now have a 2 year caveat on me claiming insurance on mental illness related claims as I am now high risk apparently.....can't say I was too happy about that.

They weren't worried I served in operations overseas with defence 10 years ago, but my 50+ hour weeks were concerning to them......

Gday NT,

St Johns Wort has never been shown in trials to be more effective than placebo. It can interact badly with proper antidepressants, so it's not a great option in my book.

That's not to say it can't work in some people, as the placebo effect can always be strong and also just the fact people are taking something / anything, sort of acknowledges that they admit to having a problem and have agreed to have some help - both of which are positive and therapeutic things.

Insurance companies will look for any angle to reduce their exposure. Sad what happened there, but overall it's good for you GP to know everything, though GPs probably vary in how much they write on your file and sometimes don't overplay some things for reasons like that.

 

[Quicky]

Swoop Great posts above mate and thanks for the advice as regardless of whether clinically you're diagnosed with depression or just getting through life as hectic as it can be now days, these are great tips to ease the hectic life cycle.

What about vitamin supplements like St Johns Wart or similar coupled with healthy eating and exercise. I've heard that these can help but maybe it's an old wives tale.

I travel regularly, as I type this from another Q-Lounge and with 2 kids and a wife working longer hours I do find it difficult to eat well and exercise. I've just started taking supplements and am interested in your thoughts.

One word of warning for those of you that feel stressed/tired living hectic lives, be careful what you tell your GP which sounds stupid. I had my regular annual medical check up and when my doctor asked me how I was feeling I told her tired and a little stressed which to me was everyday life working long hours and travelling away with work every second week. My personal insurance company got hold of this from my GP and now I now have a 2 year caveat on me claiming insurance on mental illness related claims as I am now high risk apparently.....can't say I was too happy about that.

They weren't worried I served in operations overseas with defence 10 years ago, but my 50+ hour weeks were concerning to them......

Are you serious? How the hell does that even happen? I thought that was confidential information?

 

[Quicky]

Insurance companies will look for any angle to reduce their exposure. Sad what happened there, but overall it's good for you GP to know everything, though GPs probably vary in how much they write on your file and sometimes don't overplay some things for reasons like that.

Why is specific information from a doctors check-up going to the insurance company in the first place?

 

[Swooop]

Cos they can ask for it and obtain it, assuming they have signed consent from the patient.
It's your call what you consent to - they get zero info from a Dr without your signed consent.

Only exceptions to that are if confidential info is requested via subpoena - and there's also mandatory reporting that can override disclosure without consent.

So if you tell a Dr info that indicates that you're a significant risk of harm to yourself or others, then a Dr is free to use their discretion to pass on that info to an appropriate person, without necessarily obtaining your consent. They would usually discuss that with you on those very rare occasions, with the reasons why, and in so doing, usually the person can see the reason is valid and will consent to it or else understands that you had no option.

Anyhow, we're probably getting a little off track here!

 

[Vicky Park]

I

Cos they can ask for it and obtain it, assuming they have signed consent from the patient.
It's your call what you consent to - they get zero info from a Dr without your signed consent.

Only exceptions to that are if confidential info is requested via subpoena - and there's also mandatory reporting that can override disclosure without consent.

So if you tell a Dr info that indicates that you're a significant risk of harm to yourself or others, then a Dr is free to use their discretion to pass on that info to an appropriate person, without necessarily obtaining your consent. They would usually discuss that with you on those very rare occasions, with the reasons why, and in so doing, usually the person can see the reason is valid and will consent to it or else understands that you had no option.

Anyhow, we're probably getting a little off track here!

I know this is off topic, and not a serious issue as we have been discussing on here, but I provided signed consent to my insurance company to access my medical records, and kind of regret it now. The sort of things which are now 'exclusions' (i.e. not covered by my income protection insurance) include a back problem I had 14 years ago (yes 14 years), when my poor old mum was in a wheel chair and I was a part time carer for her before she died. So yes, I did have back trouble then due to lifting her, but have had no issues for 14 years! I understand the point of insurance companies trying to avoid or limit their risk, but I also feel like I have been 'punished' for being truthful and allowing them unfettered access to my medical records.

 

[Bard]

I


I know this is off topic, and not a serious issue as we have been discussing on here, but I provided signed consent to my insurance company to access my medical records, and kind of regret it now. The sort of things which are now 'exclusions' (i.e. not covered by my income protection insurance) include a back problem I had 14 years ago (yes 14 years), when my poor old mum was in a wheel chair and I was a part time carer for her before she died. So yes, I did have back trouble then due to lifting her, but have had no issues for 14 years! I understand the point of insurance companies trying to avoid or limit their risk, but I also feel like I have been 'punished' for being truthful and allowing them unfettered access to my medical records.

It's funny isn't it, as a child and throughout life you're told to be as honest as possible and it's something I try to do. But I certainly feel as if I have only been punished by institutions by being honest, and had I been deceitful I'd have saved myself a lot of money (in regards to fines etc). People have such little respect for honesty when push comes to shove.

 

[NT.Thunder]

Swooop Quicky

I also signed a consent form due to some irregular blood readings i had around 12 months ago that I disclosed. Was just high iron due to my diet - eating our own farm let meat - but because I had 3 doctors visits which was ultimately controlled with a change in diet I thought I should disclose. The doctor said everything was fine and no follow up visits were required regarding my high iron levels. Apparently my insurer doesn't believe my doctor and I had to have blood tests last week so they could check.....Very frustrating.

I figure, even if I don't disclose now the insurer will find out during any potential claim because my guess is they won't just pay you out regardless of the high premiums we continue to pay them.

Regarding the caveat on mental illness - i'm waiting for the final policy to come through my broker who I have advised that I am less than impressed and will fight it for either the inclusion of mental illness or a significant reduction in premium. I feel I have good grounds considering they have said I have a history of mental illness or high risk because I told my doctor I was tired and stressed at work.

Fell for you VP - Just going through Income Protection, TPD and Life insurances now and am very worried about what I would be able to actually claim god forbid I needed it in the future.

 

[Pedro]

Swoop
One word of warning for those of you that feel stressed/tired living hectic lives, be careful what you tell your GP which sounds stupid. I had my regular annual medical check up and when my doctor asked me how I was feeling I told her tired and a little stressed which to me was everyday life working long hours and travelling away with work every second week. My personal insurance company got hold of this from my GP and now I now have a 2 year caveat on me claiming insurance on mental illness related claims as I am now high risk apparently.....can't say I was too happy about that.

Good advice. I had an exclusion in regards to my eyes on my income protection. Started with a simple eye check (which my missus pushed me into doing in the first place). Long story, but anyway one thing led to another, which led to angiograms, MRI's on my brain, spine, abdomen, which in turn led to you guessed it, nothing wrong. Except the exclusion on my insurance.

 

[Anzacday]

Hey Tempest,
sorry for what you're going through, i'm going through the same motions as you are but different circumstances. If you need to talk to someone flick me a message and we can have a chat. I'm going through hard times myself and it's never been harder than it is at the moment. If you're up for it, send me a message, i'm here for you mate.

Hey volt, sorry you're struggling too.
Very kind/selfless of you to offer be there for Tempest.
Just want you to know we're here for you too.
Don't have to disclose anything, just know we're here

 

[TradeDraft]

Hi guys,

Melissa (the girl I was speaking of) and I are no more.

She hasn't spoken or replied to me in 4 days while still being 'online'. Guess she got sick of me, or probably just read this thread.

I'm totally done.

I'll never trust anyone again.

Nobody is ever going to tell me what to do again.

**** the world.

I'll get through this shit on my own and come out on top.

I don't need anyone anymore, screw the Doctors too. I'm not going back to them.

This shit wont beat me. I do whatever the **** I want now.

This will probably be my last post in this thread, **** depression.

Tempest out.

Very Sad to hear that that Melissa is Ignoring You. She should at least give you an answer why she is not Answering.

Well - Hopefully you get over it but you need help. I agree you can’t trust lot of people these days but don’t give up on us on here at BigFooty.

We have your Best Interest at Heart.

Well - I hate to say IF you are not going to the Doctors then I think you will keep Struggling to get 100% over it. IF they do the wrong against you then well they won’t be Doctors for Very Long.

 

[Magpie Girl]

You said that well Dave. It hurts when someone you like and have been talking to, and sharing with, for ages suddenly stops responding, and you have no idea what's happened.

But Tempest please know that this is a safe environment for you where everyone has your best interest at heart.

There is no judgement, only support, and that's something very valuable to hang on to.

 

[76woodenspooners]

Hi guys,

Melissa (the girl I was speaking of) and I are no more.

She hasn't spoken or replied to me in 4 days while still being 'online'. Guess she got sick of me, or probably just read this thread.

I'm totally done.

I'll never trust anyone again.

Nobody is ever going to tell me what to do again.

**** the world.

I'll get through this shit on my own and come out on top.

I don't need anyone anymore, screw the Doctors too. I'm not going back to them.

This shit wont beat me. I do whatever the **** I want now.

This will probably be my last post in this thread, **** depression.

Tempest out.

Hey Tempest,

Very sorry to hear that things aren't working out with Melissa

She seemed nice from your description. Oh well, sometimes these things happen. Yeah, you're probably feeling shit about it right now (obviously). But it's important not to put her up on a pedestal ... and make yourself feel you're unworthy because she's rejected you.

That would be wrong.

----

You've been on here long enough to see comments like "BigFooty hates Armstrong" or "BigFooty wants Buckley sacked" or "BigFooty thinks Witts is the next big thing" or "Forget Witts, BigFooty think Grundy is the next best thing" or "Hang on, Grundy is having a quiet second year, Witts is back to being the next big thing again".

You've been on here long enough to know those comments are gross generalisations which are usually bollocks. There is an amazing diversity of opinion and personality and perspectives. There are people on here who think Armstrong is a good player.

And so it is with doctors and counsellors and girls too. It simply cannot be generalised that all doctors are xxxxx or all counsellors are yyyyyy or all girls are zzzzzzz.

When people do that, they're limiting their world, sometimes severely limiting their world. And sometimes by limiting themselves they're closing themselves off from things that are wonderful; or things that might help them move on from a situation that they're in.

We're all individuals. We're all unique. Finding a partner or friends who understand us and that we can build a bond with is sometimes not easy. Sometimes it isn't easy to find lovers or friends who are on our wavelength ...

... and so it is with doctors and counsellors as well. Of course, doctors and counsellors do work within some constraints, the 'tram tracks' as Mick used to call them. But they do have room to move within those. Swooop gave you some examples of that.

If you don't feel like you connect with your doctor or counsellor ... No stress. Try another one. And if they don't work, try another one. They'll all be different, and some will be better at helping you than others ... Which makes sense, because you're unique; we all are. One thing all docs and counsellors do have in common ... They're professionals. You don't have to worry about breaking their hearts or feeling awkward about rejecting them. No stress, move on and give another professional a chance (girls are a bit different this way of course)

A final thought ...

Think about the ASADA nonsense and the mess that the Essendon players are currently in. An important lesson players have learnt across the league is that the player is ultimately responsible for what goes into their body. It goes further than that ... Players are responsible for their own fitness, their own form, their own health, etc, etc. Of course they don't do it alone, they have a team of people educating them and training them and guiding them and supervising them and assessing them and providing feedback. The player is responsible for everything to do with their own performance and wellbeing, but they are provided with all the support they need.

And so it goes for you too. The person who will take you to a happier place is you ... you're the person who is sitting in the cockpit to do that. But you don't need to do it alone. You have a bunch of people who you can support you with that - ranging from people who care about you (on here, you've mentioned your grandparents before) to professional people such as doctors and counsellors.

It's very easy to become prisoners in our own mind. We can see and feel the bars around us, they are real; and yet nobody else seems to be able to see them.

We go to visit the doctor or counsellor - it's tough to get there because we are dragging a ball and chain behind us ...

... and when we get to the docs we ask them if they have a key to remove the ball and chain ... But they cannot even see the ball and chain that's tied around our ankle!!! How stuffed up is that??? Hardly makes us want to drag that friggen heavy thing off to another doc, does it? But we gotta do it, and keep doing it for as long as it takes to get it removed.

 

[Swooop]

Glad to hear you're OK Tempest.

That was an excellent post 76.

Every word was spot on I reckon.

 

[NT.Thunder]

Stay strong Tempest - you know we are always here for you should you need a mate to talk to.

We all cope with life different ways and see things in different perspectives. Some manage through the day to day rituals without even batting an eyelid but most need some kind of help whether it's family support, mateship or some form of professional assistance. All are common now days and essential to get through life happy. Those that say they manage successfully alone are living a lie IMO.

I was traveling all day yesterday and had a really interesting experience that I'm still not sure how to take. I'm ex defence like you know and have served overseas and spent a number of years flying on surveillance aircraft looking for Suspected Illegal Entry Vessels or refugees. Well yesterday I found myself sitting up close and personal to a youngish (25-30) Afghani refugee that was just released that day after 17 months in detention. There were a number of them on this aircraft and all spread from one end of the plane to another. No Serco or DOI escorts - all alone on the plane. I didn't want to be there, I didnt know what to think so I just put my headphones on and ignored this guy for most of the flight. I knew he was eager to make conversation but I sat there for 3 hours and ignored his curiosity. I have been of the belief for years that these guys shouldn't be here. I was angry that I had to sit next to him and I was angry that he was in our country potentially doing more damage than good. But I don't know why I feel like this and I don't feel proud about it one bit. After 3 hours I decided to put away my iPad and make conversation. with someone who could barely speak English. This was a guy who had literally been through the gates of hell. I can't imagine the life that this person has manged to survive and continue going on surviving. Living through the hell of war in his own country all his life, making the sacrifice to leave his country and family and journey by boat to Australia and now after 17 months in detention with no family, given the opportunity to settle a new life now in Adelaide I believe. He never once whinged about being held in detention, his proudest asset was his new re-settled immigration photo ID and his eyes were as big as saucers and a smile from ear to ear coming into Sydney leaning across my back glaring out the window on a city covered in teaming rain and 30 knot winds. Here I was just thinking I hope we don't have to use the stairs when getting off. In the space of a 1 hour conversation with this young man, he has changed my whole perception on a number of things that I was quiet staunch about. I actually feel gutted that I didn't buy him some food or water for the trip as he had no money and was given nothing from the department.

I don't know why I posted that. It was as much for me as it was for you Tempest just to show that no matter how hard the circumstances are, things can always change for the better and we can always view things differently and live better lives. This young Afghani will also be doing it tough for many years in a country that struggles to see everyone elses hardships for what they are and only worry about there own issues - I am as guilty as anyone on this.

Just know Tempest that there are genuine people out there that want to see you happy and live a normal life. Some may be family, I know many are mates that are here on this forum but there is also professional (doctors and support workers) that understand more than me and are compassionate in what they do. These can all help.

Take each day as it comes. Think of the good things in your life and what we each have. It may be a long road but it is one worth traveling.

 

[eddiebankbalance]

Here is a BIG warm hug from me Tempest.