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Competition SpudQoach™ Season 29 - Congratulations Callums_Guns!!!
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Santoz was keen to give SpudQoach™ a go in his first season of Sweet FA. Rookie mistake.
16. Santoz - 943.0
S29 rookie Santoz was another player up and about early in S29. Having joined the Bombers well ahead of the season opener he was keen early to get involved around the board. How he stumbled upon the Sweet FA's most bespoke competition is anyone's guess, but having found the SFA's hidden gem, he was keen to jump in. With little support from showboating look at me captain WaynesWorld19, he was left to his own devices to select his side, based largely on names of posters he had shitposted with, and it shows. SpudQoach™ is an unforgiving mistress at the best of times, and Santoz has been totally and utterly f’ed beyond recognition in the first half of S29.
Handing is SpudQoach™ captaincy to another of S29's kill my account with fire crew, CazC30 has left Team Santoz in agricultural ruin, her 154.7 SpudQoach™ score doubled in a display of maximum carnage and a visceral exhibition of SpudQoach™'s brutality. Add to this stars like Elton Johns Wig, Ned_Flanders and Loonerty, and we're already looking at a side that's well and truly out of contention. But then to add further insult to injury, S28 low scorers fumbler and Barrybran have taken their game to another level in S29 with more me time in key positions, and it's all gone Pete Tong for the young Baghdad upstart.
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Nobody has ever said thatAre you suggesting I'm a broken genius
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The Gumbies skipper likes to take a hands on approach at the club.
15. Barrybran - 935.2
The reigning All-SFA captain and Gumbies skipper has been on a recruitment drive the past two seasons, proving he has an eye for top end talent in bringing some of the biggest names in qooty, beez and okeydoke7 over to the club, as well as Rodney Dangerfield. However with a fair body of work to assess on his SpudQoach™ career to date, it's fair to say the man couldn't spot a potato if it was staring him in the face, despite a list that most would argue could have singlehandedly saved Ireland back in 1845.
Let's start with the best part first, this one's a doozy. The choice to select his very own young Gumbies charge Ned Ryerson appeared a sound one on paper. Not only did he select him in the squad, but as captain no less. Having full control of the Gumbies match committee and inside knowledge of the likelihood of Ned playing in a low scoring position, as well as the ability to ensure he plays every game in said position, this seemed a very astute decision by Baz. Only it appears he had other ideas. After a promisingly low return of 29.1 SpudQoach™ points, He then proceeded to inexplicably drop Ned, and not play the guy again at all after Round 1. This resulted in a SpudQoach™ score of 176.5, doubled of course as skipper, which is the 2nd highest score in the competition to the halfway mark. Another victim of the JWS conundrum, Baz scored heavily there too. Add to that an in form GCB85 (who?) and Ned_Flanders, and in yet another touching tribute to the former Bears impresario, he has allowed himself to be publicly shafted by a couple of guys named Ned who, I think it's safe to assume, are most likely also fat and hairy.
It's a long road back from here, but if there's one thing a Gumbies captain knows, it's low expectations and obscurity, so if Baz can get his SpudQoach™ skipper Ned back out on the park for the second half of the season, he may just fly under the radar and surprise a few come the pointy end of the season.
Who you say? Those who write you off, never see you coming....
The Gumbies skipper likes to take a hands on approach at the club.
15. Barrybran - 935.2
The reigning All-SFA captain and Gumbies skipper has been on a recruitment drive the past two seasons, proving he has an eye for top end talent in bringing some of the biggest names in qooty, beez and okeydoke7 over to the club, as well as Rodney Dangerfield. However with a fair body of work to assess on his SpudQoach™ career to date, it's fair to say the man couldn't spot a potato if it was staring him in the face, despite a list that most would argue could have singlehandedly saved Ireland back in 1845.
Let's start with the best part first, this one's a doozy. The choice to select his very own young Gumbies charge Ned Ryerson appeared a sound one on paper. Not only did he select him in the squad, but as captain no less. Having full control of the Gumbies match committee and inside knowledge of the likelihood of Ned playing in a low scoring position, as well as the ability to ensure he plays every game in said position, this seemed a very astute decision by Baz. Only it appears he had other ideas. After a promisingly low return of 29.1 SpudQoach™ points, He then proceeded to inexplicably drop Ned, and not play the guy again at all after Round 1. This resulted in a SpudQoach™ score of 176.5, doubled of course as skipper, which is the 2nd highest score in the competition to the halfway mark. Another victim of the JWS conundrum, Baz scored heavily there too. Add to that an in form GCB85 (who?) and Ned_Flanders, and in yet another touching tribute to the former Bears impresario, he has allowed himself to be publicly shafted by a couple of guys named Ned who, I think it's safe to assume, are most likely also fat and hairy.
It's a long road back from here, but if there's one thing a Gumbies captain knows, it's low expectations and obscurity, so if Baz can get his SpudQoach™ skipper Ned back out on the park for the second half of the season, he may just fly under the radar and surprise a few come the pointy end of the season.
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No.Are you suggesting I'm a broken genius
I'm suggesting you're a temperamental dickhead who cries in the arms of hirsute old men.
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Armed with a free premium account, Josh can once again commit all his time and energy into his beloved Bears
14. JoshWoodenSpoon - 903.0
Former Bears skipper and league icon JoshWoodenSpoon has long been a supporter of the SpudQoach™ concept, offering a unique take on the premise with squads that have always maintained a point of difference. Having become a tragic figure in S29 after a foolhardy bet backfired spectacularly, he is no longer around to see his squad of peaches ripen as we head into the second half of the season. Having moved to Baghdad as a result of said bet, it was clear he still owed his allegiances to the Bears. After weeks of unsightly public disharmony with his new club, it ultimately culminated in the burning of his account to a crisp after posting his favourite Bears highlights package, as he rode off into the sunset.
Either that, or he knew full well several qoaches had selected him in their sides this season and he sought to have the last laugh? Let's go with that, at least that kinda makes sense.
With a track record of left field SpudQoach™ selections, S29 proved no different. His captaincy selection of Freakie initially looked inspired, however upon closer inspection it turns out he is yet to open his S29 account at the Roys, seeing him rack up the maximum 200 SpudQoach™ points, which of course is doubled as captain. The Gumbies' Vdubs was another intriguing selection, and another player to miss almost the entire season so far, as he added a further 133.6 SpudQoach™ points to Team JWS. The selection of S28 top 5 Mobbs finisher Hate is nonsensical, however the rest of the squad looks pretty sound at first glance. Selecting his successor to the Bears captaincy Test Tickle is arguably the most intelligent selection of the squad given the skipper's SpudQoach™ score of 25.3 helped to offset some of the other more peculiar selections.
It looks as though the damage has already been done here, and it's unlikely JWS will slip any further down the ladder given the rest of the squad looks like having quite solid job security. There's not much room to improve either however, and the Bears talisman looks destined for a bottom of the table finish in his final season of SpudQoach™.
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I can foresee B52's keyboard copping quite a savage assault in response to this review.
13. Bloodied52 - 878.7
The second year Wonder and S28 All-SFA selection Bloodied52 lept in feet first into his first season of SpudQoach™. Having joined fellow S28 rookies AuntyBlindEye and Antonio BlueVein in overseeing the SFA Rising Star Award this season, it's fair to say he has developed a keen eye for spuddery that perhaps eluded him in the selection of his initial squad.
Let's now take a look at Team B52 in more detail. Firstly, while I did enjoy the dig at Bono's expense, I think we've done the whole Ant Bear selected over U2 Tigers bit to death now, but of course I still lol'd cos that s**t is funny. But this being a serious competition, of course I have had to make the switch back, with Bono going into the ruck in place of AB, although with a season of mixed fortunes for the Wonders frontman, his 56.9 SpudQoach™ points haven't done the damage that B52's fellow S28 rookie The Kingslayer has done with his remarkable SpudQoach™ 75.1 points from an inactive! Only at the Dragons hey?
Yet another victim of JWS' implosion, he doubled down with the quinella in selecting CazC30 who also inexplicably destroyed her SFA career in an instant Combined, those two have contributed a whopping 249.4 .SpudQoach™ points. With the ticking time bomb of super meltist Matera92 looking like just a matter of time before following suit, with the whole Bears squad looking like cancelling their accounts by season's end, things could get really ugly in the back half of the season. However it's not all bad, with savvy selections like TJASTA, Wojcinski and DERO potentially saving the day, although B52 looks destined for a bottom of the table finish this season.
Not a bad first up effort for his first SpudQoach™ season, and to be fair, he's not the only qoach to be caught out by this season's unprecedented spate of account killers, but a team full of household names and Ned_Flanders was never going to bode well in this competition.
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Grand Uncle Horace
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**still chortling**
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It's low hanging fruit, but I'm not too proud to pluck it off the tree.
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It's early, but Testy's squad doesn't look like making the cut this season.
12. Test Tickle - 855.1
The Bears skipper finished third in the S28 edition of SpudQoach™ after assembling a most impressive crop. TT has experienced a torrid season 29 after taking over the reigns in Vegas. Now in his third season of SpudQoach™, Testy would be looking to improve again and challenge for the win.
Despite his experience, Testy made some intriguing squad selections this season that have blown out his SpudQoach™ score at the half way mark. With several of the competition's stars named on Team Testy, including selections like Elton Johns Wig with 83.3 SpudQoach™ points, Agent93 with 73.8 SpudQoach™ points and Antonio BlueVein on 69.8 SpudQoach™ points all in his midfield alone, that's already enough to push Testy out off the podium. Add that to the unlucky selection of out of favour Warrior Kabanna on 94.7 and then couple that with the unique selection of retired then returning former Gumbies ruckman and Warriors recruit roo2macca in the ruck and that's another 233.6 SpudQoach™ points and enough to possibly confine Testy to a bottom tier finish.
Headless for skipper is proving the most savvy of his selections, a tried and true formula given the Demons' commitment to the interchange.
A step backwards for Testy this season, and while there's some room to move up the ladder from here, he won't be reaching the lofty heights of S28.
Did I win the Internet yet?
It's early, but Testy's squad doesn't look like making the cut this season.
12. Test Tickle - 855.1
The Bears skipper finished third in the S28 edition of SpudQoach™ after assembling a most impressive crop. TT has experienced a torrid season 29 after taking over the reigns in Vegas. Now in his third season of SpudQoach™, Testy would be looking to improve again and challenge for the win.
Despite his experience, Testy made some intriguing squad selections this season that have blown out his SpudQoach™ score at the half way mark. With several of the competition's stars named on Team Testy, including selections like Elton Johns Wig with 83.3 SpudQoach™ points, Agent93 with 73.8 SpudQoach™ points and Antonio BlueVein on 69.8 SpudQoach™ points all in his midfield alone, that's already enough to push Testy out off the podium. Add that to the unlucky selection of out of favour Warrior Kabanna on 94.7 and then couple that with the unique selection of retired then returning former Gumbies ruckman and Warriors recruit roo2macca in the ruck and that's another 233.6 SpudQoach™ points and enough to possibly confine Testy to a bottom tier finish.
Headless for skipper is proving the most savvy of his selections, a tried and true formula given the Demons' commitment to the interchange.
A step backwards for Testy this season, and while there's some room to move up the ladder from here, he won't be reaching the lofty heights of S28.
Grand Uncle Horace
Shake down the thunder
Happily the string is tuned in B Flat rather than G. The Sweet FA is a family friendly site.
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Grand Uncle Horace
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Yikes.
Just saw Aunty's name on your list and now I am feeling an odd sensation. I believe it is sadness.
Just saw Aunty's name on your list and now I am feeling an odd sensation. I believe it is sadness.
The Half Back
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Did I win/lose?
Agent93
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'Soon' as I stop getting notifications every 5 minutes about the expansion bids...
Agent93
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Yeah, * those campaigners.
Grand Uncle Horace
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yep... f*** those wayneheads in coward's castle.
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