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Certified Legendary Thread Sack Hinkley 12 - Finals Are Scary

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Robbo got sacked, he was on 5aa this arvo.

Mark Robinson confirms he was sacked from AFL 360 amid sudden absence from season finale.​

 
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Hinkley now has a new hero, Chris Fagan. Perhaps appropriate, given that the Lions coach is 63, and the oldest premiership coach in 130 years of VFL/AFL competition. Donuts is now 58, older than anyone else to coach a premiership team. This would have the refreshed bogan believing he's got five years in the window to win his first flag and after that, could break Fagan's record with a second flag. The actuaries, and the rest of us, would rate his chances of hoisting the cup once as precisely zero. Breaking history is hard, and way more scary than even finals. Daddy is not that sort of trendsetter, is he, though strangely, some at Alberton believe he is.
 

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I'm doing a thing on the Bay reviewing every team for 2024. Trying to work out where I put us, and what rating.

Anyone got any inspiration for my Port Adelaide write up?
“Ken Hinkley’s still here. That’s a more vicious blow than anything I could say about Port’s season”
 
Don't worry people, Robo just confirmed that winning a Grand Final, reaching a grand final, and even a prelim final is bloody hard. Doesn't like the way people are commenting that Hinkley should step down. He's contracted, he'll give it another go.
 
“Ken Hinkley’s still here. That’s a more vicious blow than anything I could say about Port’s season”

Ken Hinkley: The Buzzword Whisperer

Ken’s vocabulary? It’s like a thesaurus on steroids. He sprinkles buzzwords like confetti at a New Year’s Eve party. “High-performance culture,” he declares, as if it’s the secret ingredient in grandma’s apple pie. “Strategic alignment,” he murmurs, conjuring visions of chess grandmasters plotting world domination. But here’s the twist: All the buzz, no monorail. Port Adelaide’s train never left the station, and the passengers are still waiting for their magical ride.*
 
Breaking News: Port Adelaide Parts Ways with Ken Hinkley
Adelaide, October 5, 2024

In a seismic shake-up that has sent shockwaves through the AFL, Port Adelaide has bid farewell to their long-serving coach, Ken Hinkley. The decision, announced today, comes after a string of preliminary final losses and growing unrest among fans.

The Diamonds That Eluded Hinkley’s Pickaxe

Hinkley’s tenure resembled a relentless quest for diamonds—an underground tunnel of hopes and near misses. But sometimes, even the most determined miners must face reality. Despite his impressive coaching record, consistency remained elusive. Port’s game style? As unpredictable as a kangaroo on a pogo stick. You never knew what you’d get—a dazzling gem or a cubic zirconia.

The Two Miners: Success vs. Despondency

Picture this: Two miners hacking through the footy landscape. One, Hinkley, got close to the treasure but turned around, despondent. The other? Still persisting, pickaxe in hand. Port Adelaide’s powerbrokers now find themselves torn between these two miners. Hinkley’s combative nature and candid exchanges with players made him an easy target. But was he the problem, or just part of it?

The New Voice, the New Hope
Port Adelaide’s brains trust decided it was time for a new voice. Sometimes, persistence isn’t enough. Hinkley’s legacy? A record for coaching the most games at a club without ever reaching a grand final. The players? Still loyal, but perhaps craving a fresh tune. As the sun sets on Hinkley’s era, Port’s faithful wonder: Will the next miner strike gold?
Stay tuned for more updates as Port Adelaide charts a new course.

Disclaimer: This news story is a fictional creation for entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to real events or persons is coincidental.
 
Exactly. Leadership has always been the problem. Piss weak administration and diabolical coaching. All the problems being complained about here were all evident in the Williams years and a lot of the posters here suffer from short or selective memories it seems. Many were baying for Williams' blood towards the end but have now done some incredible 180 degree turn and view him as some kind of deity on the basis of the simple fact he finally fluked a premiership against a battered and sore opposition that had already bagged a threepeat and more than likely didnt have the hunger anyway. The arguments for getting rid of Hinkley are salient and valid but come on- at least have some objectivity. The main problem is that in the AFL world Port' s hisory and tradition count for nought in the eyes of the games custodians. They have constructed a homogenous competition full of franchises and dictate terms to keep it that way. They dont care about the diehard supporters.

Nah this is a skewed way of telling the history. It's chalk and cheese between Mark's team's performances and the inaugural board compared with Hinkley and the current board.
 
Breaking News: Port Adelaide Parts Ways with Ken Hinkley
Adelaide, October 5, 2024

In a seismic shake-up that has sent shockwaves through the AFL, Port Adelaide has bid farewell to their long-serving coach, Ken Hinkley. The decision, announced today, comes after a string of preliminary final losses and growing unrest among fans.

The Diamonds That Eluded Hinkley’s Pickaxe

Hinkley’s tenure resembled a relentless quest for diamonds—an underground tunnel of hopes and near misses. But sometimes, even the most determined miners must face reality. Despite his impressive coaching record, consistency remained elusive. Port’s game style? As unpredictable as a kangaroo on a pogo stick. You never knew what you’d get—a dazzling gem or a cubic zirconia.

The Two Miners: Success vs. Despondency

Picture this: Two miners hacking through the footy landscape. One, Hinkley, got close to the treasure but turned around, despondent. The other? Still persisting, pickaxe in hand. Port Adelaide’s powerbrokers now find themselves torn between these two miners. Hinkley’s combative nature and candid exchanges with players made him an easy target. But was he the problem, or just part of it?

The New Voice, the New Hope
Port Adelaide’s brains trust decided it was time for a new voice. Sometimes, persistence isn’t enough. Hinkley’s legacy? A record for coaching the most games at a club without ever reaching a grand final. The players? Still loyal, but perhaps craving a fresh tune. As the sun sets on Hinkley’s era, Port’s faithful wonder: Will the next miner strike gold?
Stay tuned for more updates as Port Adelaide charts a new course.

Disclaimer: This news story is a fictional creation for entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to real events or persons is coincidental.
That's better stuff than AFL Chief Fiction Writer Michael Christian has ever come up with.
 

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Even if this stalagmite wins a flag next year, I’d still spit in his toast.


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I'm doing a thing on the Bay reviewing every team for 2024. Trying to work out where I put us, and what rating.

Anyone got any inspiration for my Port Adelaide write up?
C-

Ken’s legit done enough to retain his job because a Hawthorn player hit the post.
 

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I don't think I ever shared this in here, but on grand final day I was at the Royal Derby Hotel in Fitzroy with my Lions supporting mate, that pub that kept being shown in the media since it's kind of THE Fitzroy pub. Unrelated, but they had a team signed 2020 Port jumper and a 2004 premiership poster which I thought was odd, especially because we beat Brisbane in that exact game lol. Though now I'm researching, it looks like that's the spot where our Vic supporter group meets up, good to know. However I'm getting sidetracked. After the game there were TV cameras and I happened to get myself on Channel 9, though I noticed a Fox Footy camera filming fans after the game. While people were cheering I got up near the mic and yelled "SACK HINKLEY" a couple times. Someone said to me "they won't broadcast that will they" and I said "you're probably right, there's a pretty big protection racket for him". I'm assuming he was right, because someone would've mentioned it here, but I tried at least.
 

Wow, just as I feared last year we'd use Brisbane as a benchmark despite the fact we're now at least five years behind their schedule. That's remarkable.
 

A lot of stuttering, how this guy is in our administration is beyond me

Insanity is trying the same thing again and again and expecting different results. Why do media/club always take about Ken's energy and love? And never about Ken's great gameplan or tactics? Its because he has none of the latter and thats what it takes to win a flag. Energy and love wont ever take you to the flag. Absolute malarkey from the club.

I would rather have a broken clock in the coaches box than this guy
 
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