Think Tank Mofra's Lazy Bottom 40 for 2025

[AlecDuncan]

Nice try at changing the topic …

… but until Mofra drops his next player we’re discussing how your club is looking this preseason

Your thoughts?

Please, continue the pile-on. I'm all for it.

 

[DQ 4EVER]

You have to remember that Hinkley trolled the Port fans with a mouth full of teeth.

Some things just can't be undone or forgotten.

I think he was trolling all of south Australia to be honest

 

[DQ 4EVER]

A fixed that for ya

The best thing to come out of Adelaide is a connecting flight

 

[76woodenspooners]

Please, continue the pile-on. I'm all for it.

Of course. I know you love it. It fuels you!

 

[Elmer_Hauser]

View attachment 2517906

Name a woman with better legs on this planet than Amy Pond aka Karen Gillan ??

 

[Hounddd]

Name a woman with better legs on this planet than Amy Pond aka Karen Gillan ??

TDK?

 

[Elmer_Hauser]

TDK?

Touche

 

[The Sultan]

Nice try at changing the topic …

… but until Mofra drops his next player we’re discussing how your club is looking this preseason

Your thoughts?

Got to set the bar low, don’t want our expectations be at a level of ‘somewhat optimistic’

 

[the avoca drover]

Name a woman with better legs on this planet than Amy Pond aka Karen Gillan ??

I like!

 

[Mofra]

Player #7 - Dan Houston

9

Dan Houston

Age

28

Ht

186cm

Wt

88kg

Pos.

Def

Career

Season

Last 5

D

18.2

5star

K

11.8

4star

HB

6.4

4star

M

4.9

5star

T

3.0

5star

MG

289.2

4star

D

17.6

4star

K

11.6

4star

HB

6.0

3star

M

3.3

3star

T

3.4

4star

MG

319.9

5star

D

16.6

4star

K

12.4

5star

HB

4.2

4star

M

7.0

5star

T

2.6

4star

MG

279.8

5star

Pictured: Dan standing outside Collingwood's 'Do Better' monument to their institutionalised racism

Dan Houston

9

Dan Houston

Age

28

Ht

186cm

Wt

88kg

Pos.

Def

Career

Season

Last 5

D

18.2

5star

K

11.8

4star

HB

6.4

4star

M

4.9

5star

T

3.0

5star

MG

289.2

4star

D

17.6

4star

K

11.6

4star

HB

6.0

3star

M

3.3

3star

T

3.4

4star

MG

319.9

5star

D

16.6

4star

K

12.4

5star

HB

4.2

4star

M

7.0

5star

T

2.6

4star

MG

279.8

5star

, like Jamarra, is a former AA player except in Dan's case the AA stands for All-Australian. He was actually AA in 2023 and 2024, until he couldn't bear the heartbreak of playing football at Port without Ken and asked for a trade.

Collingwood offered Dan a 6 year contract and paid John Noble

2

John Noble

Age

29

Ht

180cm

Wt

72kg

Pos.

Def

Career

Season

Last 5

D

16.3

4star

K

9.2

4star

HB

7.1

4star

M

3.5

4star

T

2.0

4star

MG

186.1

3star

D

14.2

3star

K

7.7

3star

HB

6.5

4star

M

3.2

3star

T

1.8

3star

MG

149.7

3star

D

18.8

5star

K

11.0

4star

HB

7.8

5star

M

4.0

4star

T

2.2

4star

MG

229.8

4star

, Joe Richards, their 2025 first-round pick, and pick 36 for the 186cm rebounding defender.

Of course Dan missed the first game of 2025, after being handed a 5 match ban for a huge hit on Izak "Gays are Icky" Rankine. He then followed that hit up in Round 4 with a huge hit on Lachie Fogerty and another suspension.
When Houston actually made it onto the paddock, he played the role of 'decoy rebounder' quite well, as the one Daicos brother that actually earns his kicks moved to HB for much of the year.

The 'gun rebounder' Houston ended up in 116th place among AFL players for average round 50s for the 2025 season, as he struggled to adapt to Collingwood life. It was smart to trade the 28 year old into the side to lower their average age, but a rebounding defender who spends more time bumping opponents high than actually rebounding probably isn't worth a massive contract, a 1st and 2nd round pick and two players.

Don't just take my word for it. His own coach publically called him out in August last year, telling fans that Dan isn't "calling for the ball". Dan stopped covering the ground as well, his kicking (formerly his major weapon) deserted him, and Dan ended up posting lower stats in almost every category. Against Brisbane he had 11 disposals and 4 free kicks against. If he is a "Weapon" as they say, I assume he's off in Tullamarine right now teaching guys how to deadlift.

Fun fact: Houston is considered the fattest major city in the US, matching Dan's overweight contract. Brent Harvey

Brent Harvey

Age

47

Ht

167cm

Wt

75kg

Pos.

Fwd

Career

Season

Last 5

D

21.3

5star

K

13.2

5star

HB

8.2

5star

M

3.9

4star

T

2.1

4star

G

1.2

4star

No current season stats available

D

6.0

2star

K

3.0

1star

HB

3.0

3star

M

1.2

2star

T

0.6

3star

G

0.6

3star

is rumoured to be a regular vistor.

Dan, Houston, I've specifically avoided all Apollo 13 references in this write up as your 2025 season hasn't even gone that well. Welcome to the Bottom 50 for 2025.

 

[Kabanna]

And to think I was laughed at when I told the Collingwood faithful on here that their club was getting ****ed over in the Houston trade

 

[AlecDuncan]

Brent Harvey is rumoured to be a regular vistor.

Every now and then I realise I don't follow the news like a good tragic would.

 

[76woodenspooners]

And to think I was laughed at when I told the Collingwood faithful on here that their club was getting ****ed over in the Houston trade

Dan Houston wasn’t the only thing Collingwood got in that trade …

 

[Saveloy Rockstar]

Will take Houston a while to adapt to the Collingwood game plan of not going out in straight sets

Name a woman with better legs on this planet than Amy Pond aka Karen Gillan ??

zackah?

Oh wait, she has chook legs

 

[zackah]

And all toes

 

[Saveloy Rockstar]

Freak

 

[Kabanna]

Dan Houston wasn’t the only thing Collingwood got in that trade …

Who?

 

[Saveloy Rockstar]

He’s a younger, taller Joe Richards

 

[Pistol Night]

Name a woman with better legs on this planet than Amy Pond aka Karen Gillan ??

Gina Rinehart

 

[CatToTheFuture]

Maybe the worst crime a coach can commit is to be reliably competitive year after year without actually winning anything.

At least when teams are rubbish the expectations are low, they “win” draft picks, and the coach typically gets moved on soon enough to make way for the next savior.

I remember as a kid that the happiest supporters were Fitzroy and St Kilda supporters. They had no expectations of winning so they were never disappointed. And from time-to-time they’d blag an upset and they’d be over the moon because (1) their team won and (2) their team managed to embarrass an arrogant opposition fanbase and shut them up for a week.

Man, you should the sheer quantity of pages on the various Chris Scott can't coach threads. And he HAD won a premiership too

 

[CatToTheFuture]

'Inherits a basket case of a club'

We finished 14th the year before Hinkley took over. GWS finished below us that year. They've made a Grand Final since. Melbourne finished below us that year. They've won a premiership since. Western Bulldogs finished below us that year. They've made two Grand Finals and won a premiership since.

The 'inherits a basket case' excuse doesn't wash. Other coaches inherited bigger basket cases and turned them into premiership winners.

I dunno man, the Primus years felt pretty dire.

 

[TedDougChris]

Gina Rinehart

Great, now I’ve been sick everywhere

 

[philreich]

I dunno man, the Primus years felt pretty dire.

At least Matty knew when to walk away from the job......

 

[largebus]

At least Matty knew when to walk away from the job......

He didn't walk away, he was pushed.

Mind you I believe this was before The Great Kochie took over, who never fires anyone. Had he got in earlier, you couldve had Matty and the Tarps for another decade instead of King Kenny.

 

[Pistol Night]

He didn't walk away, he was pushed.

Mind you I believe this was before The Great Kochie took over, who never fires anyone. Had he got in earlier, you couldve had Matty and the Tarps for another decade instead of King Kenny.

I think it was when we beat them at AAMI stadium by 139 points on a wet night. Even I was bored watching the massacre