Tigerturbulance
245kg of Love Muscle
Ophidian Old Boys200 GAMES: A BRAB ODYSSEY
An epic drama of adventure and exploration
An epic drama of adventure and exploration
The Plot:
In a prehistoric thread on BigFooty, a tribe of posters is driven away from its thread by a rival tribe. The next day, they find an alien tool called a qooty has appeared in their midst; it helps them discover how to use qootball as a banter weapon and, after their first qooty game, return to drive their rivals away with the newly discovered qooty skills.
Millions of years later, Mobbs, Chairman of the Sweet F.A. Council of Qootynautics, travels to Beldribilin, a Municipality of SWEET outpost. During his stopover, he meets qooty player who are concerned that SWEET FA seems to be unresponsive. He refuses to discuss rumours of a qooty epidemic. Mobbs addresses a meeting of qooty personnel to whom he stresses the need for secrecy with respect to their newest discovery. His mission is to investigate a recently found artefact, an identical qootball buried four million years earlier near the Mt Buller crater. He and others ride in a Qootybus to Mt Buller and the qootball. As they examine the qootball, it is struck by sunlight, upon which it emits a high-powered radio signal.
In Season 22, eleven months later, the Mt Buller bus Demon One is bound for elimination final defeat, with mission rookie "BRAB" and team mate Smartys Power on board, along with 18 other qooty players in suspended animation. Most of Demon One’s operations are controlled by "AB", Ant Bear 9000 computer with a human personality. When AB reports the imminent failure of an antenna SIM control device, BRAB retrieves it in an extraPM activity (EPA) pod but finds nothing wrong. AB suggests reinstalling the device and letting it fail so the problem can be verified. Mission Control advises the qooty players that results from their twin 9000 computer indicate that AB is in error about the reporting, but AB blames it on human error. Concerned about AB's behaviour, BRAB and Smartys Power enter an EPA pod so they can talk without AB overhearing, and agree to disconnect AB if he is proven wrong. AB follows their conversation by lip reading.
While Smartys Power is on a qooty walk attempting to replace the antenna SIM unit, AB takes control of his pod, setting him adrift. BRAB takes another pod to rescue Smartys Power; while he is outside, AB turns off the life support functions of the 18 other qooty players in suspended animation, killing them. When BRAB returns to the team bus with Smartys Powers body, AB refuses to let him in, stating that the qooty players' plan to deactivate him jeopardises the mission. BRAB releases Smartys Powers body and opens the team buses emergency airlock manually. He proceeds to AB's processor core and begins disconnecting AB's circuits despite AB begging him not to. When disconnection is complete, a pre-recorded video by Mobbs plays, revealing that the mission's objective is to investigate the radio signal sent from the alien qootball to Spotswood.
At Spotswood, BRAB finds a third, much larger qootball orbiting the planet. He leaves the team bus in an EPA pod to investigate, but is pulled into a vortex of pink coloured light. BRAB is carried across vast distances of space, while viewing bizarre cosmological phenomena and strange landscapes of unusual colours. Eventually he finds himself in a large neoclassical Minecraft inspired room where he sees himself as a child still in his Demons nappy, then as a young man dressed in Hawks attire eating lunch, then becoming a soft sagging middle aged Gumbie chewing dinner, finally as an old broken-down Royal lying on a bed dyeing.
A 245kg love muscle monolith appears at the foot of the bed, and as BRAB reaches for it, he is transformed into the Head of Diversity and Inclusion whilst enclosed in a transparent orb of Ophidian Old Boys light, which floats in Spotswood Campus residing in the Municipality of SWEET.
Camera fades away,
the End.
Disclaimer: anything that resemles the movie 2001 a space odyssey is purely coincidental
CONGRATULATIONS ON 200 GAMES BRAB
