A Story...

[The Hitman]

I am very bloody bored, being sick at home, so I have come up with an idea...

I will start a story, and whoever posts next continues it on, and so does the next ect etc...

So here is the start of the story...

The Hitman

 

[The Hitman]

One day, there was an old CEO of the AFL named Ross Oakley, who had a weird moustache and the ghosts of mergers past to haunt him. He didn't know how to deal with his concience, so he phoned the current CEO Wayne Jackson and said...

 

[GOALden Hawk]

I don't Hitman...I'm not very good at writing pure fantasy fiction!

 

[Chris_23]

Originally posted by The Hitman
One day, there was an old CEO of the AFL named Ross Oakley, who had a weird moustache and the ghosts of mergers past to haunt him. He didn't know how to deal with his concience, so he phoned the current CEO Wayne Jackson and said...

..'Wayne, i left my leathers over at your place last night, mind if i come over and pick them up?'

Ross said....

 

[The Hitman]

Originally posted by Chris_23


..'Wayne, i left my leathers over at your place last night, mind if i come over and pick them up?'

Ross said....

"Look, Anderw Demetriou borrowed them, he has some serious lashings to give Caro Wilson, and Michealangelo Rucci needs a good spanking too."

So Big Rosco headed down to Waverley, to join the AFL commision, where Chris Langford and Graeme Samuels gave him a big hug, and there they discussed...

 

[kristin5]

Originally posted by Chris_23


..'Wayne, i left my leathers over at your place last night, mind if i come over and pick them up?'

Ross said....

Wayne replied, "Sorry mate, it's not a convenient time right now. Caroline Wilson is here at the moment, trying to persuade me to give Richmond some draft concessions - she's being very persuasive! ..."

Ross then said...

 

[kristin5]

lol Hitman, looks like we had similar ideas!!!

 

[TheMase]

"Look, Anderw Demetriou borrowed them, he has some serious lashings to give Caro Wilson, and Michealangelo Rucci needs a good spanking too."

So Big Rosco headed down to Waverley, to join the AFL commision, where Chris Langford and Graeme Samuels gave him a big hug, and there they discussed...

Sheedy's idea about turning Colonial Stadium into a Giant Swimming pool. They are discussing this when Caroline Wilkins overhears and runs, back to the office yelling "I have inside information!!!"

 

[The Hitman]

Originally posted by TheMase


Sheedy's idea about turning Colonial Stadium into a Giant Swimming pool. They are discussing this when Caroline Wilkins overhears and runs, back to the office yelling "I have inside information!!!"

Then Caroline Wilson hires a hitman to kill this 'Caroline Wilkins'...cos she is pissed off someone has inside info and has a different name to her. So fresh from a whipping, she goes to Rod Butterss and asks if this will influence the 'process' for selecting a coach, where Rod just mumbles and makes no sense...again.

Patrick Smith gets wind of this and...

 

[TheMase]

oops wrong name ... im at work damnit!!

 

[Stegelator]

Originally posted by The Hitman


Then Caroline Wilson hires a hitman to kill this 'Caroline Wilkins'...cos she is pissed off someone has inside info and has a different name to her. So fresh from a whipping, she goes to Rod Butterss and asks if this will influence the 'process' for selecting a coach, where Rod just mumbles and makes no sense...again.

Patrick Smith gets wind of this and...

Decides to go for the coaching job himself. And Rod Butterss having just elected Elvis Presley as Coach when Patrick Smith says he is dead, Rod Butterss says. . .

 

[Tigerseye9]

"Next you'll be telling me Captain Cook is dead! You lieing scum ... you'll never be coach!"

 

[lioness]

Originally posted by Tigerseye9
"Next you'll be telling me Captain Cook is dead! You lieing scum ... you'll never be coach!"

So Patrick Smith, torn at being denied the prime St Kilda coaching job, jumps in his car and heads for the beach. On the way, he is pulled over by the police, and as he admires the officer's handcuffs, he hears something very shocking on the radio...........

 

[Blues_Brat]

Originally posted by lioness22


So Patrick Smith, torn at being denied the prime St Kilda coaching job, jumps in his car and heads for the beach. On the way, he is pulled over by the police, and as he admires the officer's handcuffs, he hears something very shocking on the radio...........

"Attention all cars be on the lookout for a fat journalist.. believed to be armed with cutting sarcasm.. proceed with caution". Smith panicked, knowing the jig was up. The police officer took off his sunglasses to reveal his true identity, Malcolm Blight! Blighty gave him a wink and said "be on your way.. I wont tell anyone about the boxes of breakfast pressure you stole from Thomas' house". Smith drove off and breathed a sigh of relief...

 

[lioness]

Originally posted by Blues_Brat


"Attention all cars be on the lookout for a fat journalist.. believed to be armed with cutting sarcasm.. proceed with caution". Smith panicked, knowing the jig was up. The police officer took off his sunglasses to reveal his true identity, Malcolm Blight! Blighty gave him a wink and said "be on your way.. I wont tell anyone about the boxes of breakfast pressure you stole from Thomas' house". Smith drove off and breathed a sigh of relief...

and as he drove along, he found himself thinking more and more about Blighty, and how good he looked in that police uniform. Just then, he heard something interesting on the radio........'The St Kilda Football Club has just announced their new coach for season 2002.......in an unusual twist, the club has decided to go for 2 coaches.......sainter for his wisdom and footy knowledge, and lioness22 for her ravishingly beautiful looks' "****" shouted Patrick, scaring an old lady and her dog in the car beside him. "Internet people aren't real!!!!!! Yet they beat me to the St Kilda coaching position"..........Smith contemplated the complete nonsense of his last statement, then decided to stop off at the pub. As he walked in, he was amazed to see before him...........

 

[Blues_Brat]

Andrew Jarman wearing a tutu! "What kind of freakish hellhole have I walked into?", thought Smith... It was worse than that time he woke up next to Caro without a recollection of what transpired the night before.

Patrick decided he had to run as fast as his fat legs would take him. He ran and ran all the way to....

 

[lioness]

Originally posted by Blues_Brat
Andrew Jarman wearing a tutu! "What kind of freakish hellhole have I walked into?", thought Smith... It was worse than that time he woke up next to Caro without a recollection of what transpired the night before.

Patrick decided he had to run as fast as his fat legs would take him. He ran and ran all the way to....

.........Glenferrie Oval. 'What the hell am I doing here?' he asked himself, unfortunately out loud so it made a few people stare. Then he noticed Shane Crawford and found himself wondering how the Hawks star would look in a tutu. Suddenly the world went black and when he came to he saw...................

 

[Blues_Brat]

Originally posted by lioness22


.........Glenferrie Oval. 'What the hell am I doing here?' he asked himself, unfortunately out loud so it made a few people stare. Then he noticed Shane Crawford and found himself wondering how the Hawks star would look in a tutu. Suddenly the world went black and when he came to he saw...................

Rippers avatar dancing around his head!.. "ahh bugger this" said Smith. Im going into a self induced coma. Wake me after the grand final. Shane Crawford wandered off, Sam Newmans jock strap in hand, thinking to himself "I wonder if we can lose to the bottom 2 sides this year?" then realised it had already happened. "Lord help me, I'm just not that bright" said Crawf to Shaun Rehn. Rehn just stared at him quizzically. Shaun Rehn then said "You know I really need a.......

 

[lioness]

Originally posted by Blues_Brat


Rippers avatar dancing around his head!.. "ahh bugger this" said Smith. Im going into a self induced coma. Wake me after the grand final. Shane Crawford wandered off, Sam Newmans jock strap in hand, thinking to himself "I wonder if we can lose to the bottom 2 sides this year?" then realised it had already happened. "Lord help me, I'm just not that bright" said Crawf to Shaun Rehn. Rehn just stared at him quizzically. Shaun Rehn then said "You know I really need a.......

.........new toothbrush!!!!! GEEZ, I haven't brushed my teeth since 1999!!!!!!' Rehn ran off screaming as the crowd cheered another goal kicked by everyone's favourite pretty boy, Daniel Chick. He waved his hair and the girls fainted. Meanwhile, back at the offices of the Age................

 

[Blues_Brat]

Originally posted by lioness22


.........new toothbrush!!!!! GEEZ, I haven't brushed my teeth since 1999!!!!!!' Rehn ran off screaming as the crowd cheered another goal kicked by everyone's favourite pretty boy, Daniel Chick. He waved his hair and the girls fainted. Meanwhile, back at the offices of the Age................

Mike Sheehan sat down and put the finishing touches on his 523 page manifesto.. "that'll teach the bastards!" he exclaimed out loud and sent it off to the editor for the next days edition. "Hows that!" he yelled to everyone in the office "I deserve a big fat pay cheque!" Someone piped up and said "Uh yeah thats great Mike, only one problem, you work for the Herald Sun".. "Oh bother" says Mike and heads off to visit.....

 

[lioness]

Originally posted by Blues_Brat


Mike Sheehan sat down and put the finishing touches on his 523 page manifesto.. "that'll teach the bastards!" he exclaimed out loud and sent it off to the editor for the next days edition. "Hows that!" he yelled to everyone in the office "I deserve a big fat pay cheque!" Someone piped up and said "Uh yeah thats great Mike, only one problem, you work for the Herald Sun".. "Oh bother" says Mike and heads off to visit.....

.........Wayne Jackson at the AFL offices, and demanded his latest opus be back page news the next day. After promptly being told that he was at the AFL and not the freakin Herald Sun, Sheehan lost it. "I'm going down and I'll take all you bastards with me" he yelled as he waved his article around, terrifying everyone in sight in case he made them read it. Sheehan smelled the fear and, realising he'd probably just written the same old crap, collapsed on the floor in a crying heap. Things were looking grim, when the door opened and in walked..................

 

[Blues_Brat]

Originally posted by lioness22


.........Wayne Jackson at the AFL offices, and demanded his latest opus be back page news the next day. After promptly being told that he was at the AFL and not the freakin Herald Sun, Sheehan lost it. "I'm going down and I'll take all you bastards with me" he yelled as he waved his article around, terrifying everyone in sight in case he made them read it. Sheehan smelled the fear and, realising he'd probably just written the same old crap, collapsed on the floor in a crying heap. Things were looking grim, when the door opened and in walked..................

Andrew Demetriou, who said "Don't worry mate, give me that article.. I'll put it somehwhere safe, trust me on that one!" Mike started drooling like a madman and wandered off. "Well that was odd" says Jacko... "anyways enough of these distractions, how is that plan coming along to fix those whinging interstate teams." Demetriou says "Well I've thought long and hard about it. Here's what we'll do... We'll.......

 

[lioness]

Originally posted by Blues_Brat


Andrew Demetriou, who said "Don't worry mate, give me that article.. I'll put it somehwhere safe, trust me on that one!" Mike started drooling like a madman and wandered off. "Well that was odd" says Jacko... "anyways enough of these distractions, how is that plan coming along to fix those whinging interstate teams." Demetriou says "Well I've thought long and hard about it. Here's what we'll do... We'll.......

........give them even MORE money!!!!! HAHAHAHAHA take THAT Victoria!!!!!!" As he spoke, way out west, the mighty Bulldogs collapsed. The crowd fell silent, no one daring to move for fear of having the life sucked out of them too. Then one after the other, they all started clapping, and someone grabbed a dozen slabs and quite suddenly, what was once a sad and sorry moment turned into a drunken karaoke party. Proving once and for all that football fans will find any excuse for a beer or 20. Patrick Smith sat above in the grandstand and thought to himself.................

 

[The Hitman]

Originally posted by lioness22


........give them even MORE money!!!!! HAHAHAHAHA take THAT Victoria!!!!!!" As he spoke, way out west, the mighty Bulldogs collapsed. The crowd fell silent, no one daring to move for fear of having the life sucked out of them too. Then one after the other, they all started clapping, and someone grabbed a dozen slabs and quite suddenly, what was once a sad and sorry moment turned into a drunken karaoke party. Proving once and for all that football fans will find any excuse for a beer or 20. Patrick Smith sat above in the grandstand and thought to himself.................

"Gee, I am going to resign and get the Hitman to take over as cheif writer for 'The Australian'."

So off he went, begging for his old job back at 'The Age', so he borrowed, Roos Oakley's leathers, took Jarman's tutu, and went over to Caro's house, with 'The Hitman' in tow...

 

[lioness]

Originally posted by The Hitman


"Gee, I am going to resign and get the Hitman to take over as cheif writer for 'The Australian'."

So off he went, begging for his old job back at 'The Age', so he borrowed, Roos Oakley's leathers, took Jarman's tutu, and went over to Caro's house, with 'The Hitman' in tow...

........but Caro wasn't home. Instead they were confronted with a very angry and very naked Andrew Jarman, looking for his tutu!!!!!! Smith and 'The Hitman' were terrified and threw Jars his tutu..........'hitman' needed medical treatment for his ordeal, while Patrick sat in the gutter and examined the leathers, deciding he could work them into a new TV footy show. Thrilled with his idea, he jumped in his car and headed for................