Media Anonymous Swamprat says, "I should be full forward - I could be the greatest ever"

[Headless]

Anonymous Swamprat says "I should be full forward - I could be the greatest ever"

Tensions are reportedly rising at the Swamprats this week, as an anonymous player has told the media, "my CV is literally endless - it would break the internet if I tried to post it - so why am I not being played at full forward‽"

It's understood the frustration is bubbling to the surface in anticipation of the Swamprats' Round 6 clash with the Demons, where the player in question will face the greatest goal-kicker of all time - Tarkyn_24 - in opposition.

Tarkyn_24, who played at centre half forward in Round 5, has recently been the centre of much media attention on the back of becoming the first player ever to break the 1,000 goal barrier. League legend Hate enjoyed every second of Tarks' progress and eventual achievement:

Media - I Am Definitely The Best - S31 - Our Best Friends Best Friend Is Our Enemy :hug:

Are the words of Sweet F.A Hall of Famer, 446 gamer, and 3-time Fred Medallist, Tarkyn_24, who is eyeing off yet another historic milestone. I recently had the opportunity to speak with 80% of fans favourite player about his time in the league, with a specific focus on what he is best known...

www.bigfooty.com

Media - #Tarks_1000 - A love letter to the leagues leading goalkicker.

1 : 15.33 {CHB} - Tarkyn_24 is third man up and takes it easily. 1 : 15.37 {CHF} - Tarkyn_24 is now off and running. 1 : 15.41 {CHF} - This could be goal of the match. 1 : 15.45 {CHF} - Can he kick it? Yes he can. East Side Phoenix : 4.2.26 Mount Buller Demons : 2.2.14...

www.bigfooty.com

So will this anonymous Swamprat be heard, or will captains philreich and Kennedy Parker stick with the status quo? It's understood incumbent full forward Catsnlakers has no intention of making a positional move - so will this one end in tears?

Top two goal-kickers in Sweet FA history (entirely unrelated):

PLAYER	GOALS (end of Season 32)	CURRENT CLUB
Tarkyn_24	1,002	Mount Buller Demons
okeydoke7	861	Sin City Swamprats

 

[The Filth Wizard]

 

[Headless]

You think you're the greatest ever, mate?

Could be a bit of a stretch from third on the list.

 

[Proper Gander]

Headless

 

[The Filth Wizard]

You think you're the greatest ever, mate?

Could be a bit of a stretch from third on the list.

I could be. I've got far more staying power than the other two, way more time in hand, better goal average than Tarks and I'm pretty much anyone's that needs a FF next season.

I'm totally going to whore myself into top spot. I'm too close not to.

 

[Headless]

I could be. I've got far more staying power than the other two, way more time in hand, better goal average than Tarks and I'm pretty much anyone's that needs a FF next season.

I'm totally going to whore myself into top spot. I'm too close not to.

Imagine the Demons with Filth!

sante

 

[Tarkyn_24]

Please don’t tag me in incoherent drivel. I’ve already had to play the Furies this season.

 

[Headless]

Please don’t tag me in incoherent drivel. I’ve already had to play the Furies this season.

I won't, mate - it's why I only tag you in threads like this.

 

[GremioPower]

 

[Tarkyn_24]

I won't, mate - it's why I only tag you in threads like this.

Driv. el.

 

[Headless]

Driv. el.

Driv et al. (2022).

 

[Headless]

Poll is closer than the admin vote!

 

[nahnah]

I’m not sure I should be in the running, I haven’t played FF yet

 

[DragoDelph]

I could be. I've got far more staying power than the other two, way more time in hand, better goal average than Tarks and I'm pretty much anyone's that needs a FF next season.

I'm totally going to whore myself into top spot. I'm too close not to.

serial_thrilla
Do we have a replacement yet for when Bonz leaves for the OOB’s?

 

[Tigerturbulance]

I’m not sure I should be in the running, I haven’t played FF yet

don't let real facts get in the way,
stake your claim nahnah

 

[DragoDelph]

serial_thrilla
Do we have a replacement yet for when Bonz leaves for the OOB’s?

How beautiful, with that Wow, serial_thrilla got me to 5k likes. thanks cap.

 

[okeydoke7]

I support this anonymous Swamprat, whoever they are!

And thank you for posting the tally with the league’s two leading goal kickers. It’s a great reminder to the league that I’m the best there ever has been, with the best goals per game average of any player who has kicked that many goals.

Given I’ve spent so long playing in a pocket while borderline inactive, it’s a miracle. And a blight on my competition.

But I’m back.

 

[Headless]

I support this anonymous Swamprat, whoever they are!

And thank you for posting the tally with the league’s two leading goal kickers. It’s a great reminder to the league that I’m the best there ever has been, with the best goals per game average of any player who has kicked that many goals.

Given I’ve spent so long playing in a pocket while borderline inactive, it’s a miracle. And a blight on my competition.

But I’m back.

You've changed, okey. You would have said to just post this as an in-match thread piece back in the day.

 

[okeydoke7]

You've changed, okey. You would have said to just post this as an in-match thread piece back in the day.

That’s when I really cared about this league.

Now, there’s just one thing I’m focused on.

#Okey1000

 

[Headless]

That’s when I really cared about this league.

Now, there’s just one thing I’m focused on.

#Okey1000

Let's just take things one step at a time, mate. The next big milestone is surely #Tarks1500.

 

[Catsnlakers]

I think it’s fair to say you’re correct in me not wanting to give up the position!

 

[thewizardmelon]

I could be. I've got far more staying power than the other two, way more time in hand, better goal average than Tarks and I'm pretty much anyone's that needs a FF next season.

I'm totally going to whore myself into top spot. I'm too close not to.

A team of wizards? Me at the back, you up the front. Teams would be utterly bamboozled.

 

[The Filth Wizard]

A team of wizards? Me at the back, you up the front. Teams would be utterly bamboozled.

That’s even the gif I would have used.

 

[okeydoke7]

I don’t think the anonymous swamprat would say ‘I could be the greatest ever’ though. The anonymous swamprat already was and is the greatest ever - just didn’t play for as long.

Unrelated, but one thing can’t be debated - I’m the greatest forward pocket who ever lived. Can’t wait to make another All Sweet FA team this year as a genuine forward pocket.

 

[Headless]

I don’t think the anonymous swamprat would say ‘I could be the greatest ever’ though. The anonymous swamprat already was and is the greatest ever - just didn’t play for as long.

Unrelated, but one thing can’t be debated - I’m the greatest forward pocket who ever lived. Can’t wait to make another All Sweet FA team this year as a genuine forward pocket.

This anonymous Demon suggests longevity counts for something, my friend.