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Arrested Development Quotes

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George Michael: There are certain things that I can talk to you about that I can't really with my dad...like, uh, were you ever awkward around girls?
Gob: What do you mean?... Like if there were three of us and I didn't know where to start? No, I think I did pretty well. I didn't get any complaints, at least not from the girl. And he had to drive her home, so I think I did pretty good, pretty good.
 
One of my all time favourites...

Narrator: Gob was recently hired by the Bluth Company's rival, Sitwell Enterprises. And although he started off well...
Gob: 52% of the country is single. That's a market that's been dominated by apartment rentals. Let's take some of that market. I call it "Single City."
Narrator: ...his ideas failed to evolve.
Gob: It's, like, "Hey, you want to go down to the whirlpool?" "Yeah, I don't have a husband." I call it "Swing City."
Stan Sitwell: Let's get into some new areas, if you don't mind.
Narrator: But Gob continued to fine-tune his first one.
Gob: How do we filter out the teases? We don't let them in.
Gob: This goes for the guys, too. Because sometimes the guys are tapped out. But check your lease, man. Because you're living in *bleep* City.
Stan Sitwell: You're fired.
 

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This thread needed to be created. Far too many quotes to choose, but here are a couple that I love.

George Michael Bluth: I just can't take it off. You'll never understand.
Tobias F*nke: ...I'll never understand? That you can never be nude?
[he disrobes, exposing his cut-off jeans]
Tobias F*nke: I'll understand more than you'll... never know.

-------------------

Lindsay: Is that a shot at me?
G.O.B.: Probably.
Lindsay: Because, for your information, I have a job.
Michael: Really? What kind of job?
Lindsay: Beads!
G.O.B.: Bees?!
Lindsay: Beads.
G.O.B.: Beads?!
Michael: G.O.B.’s not on board.

(Sounds better than it reads, go here and scroll down for it).

Gob and Tobias are possibly my favourite two characters of any show I've seen (at least that I can remember).
 
Tobias has some of the best comedic timing ever. Ever.

My two favourite episodes will forever be the one with the hot cops and the weed and teaching lessons and secondly, the one with George's funeral and Buster doesn't know it's a funeral, he thinks it's a birthday.

'I've made a huge mistake'
 
Ahaha, the hot cops. Pretty much gob's only friends.

I was stoked when i got my hands on all three seasons from china for something like $20 aussie, considering the box set down here is upwards of 70
 
Yeah I got all the boxes for Xmas...Ah that was a good present. I get the feeling though season 1 is the best. Season 3 and it kinda loses its way...It's still very good but the whole 'FOR BRITISH EYES ONLY!' thing got old quick. Such a priceless show though. I'm kinda cut that they didn't make more but they finished on a high which is good.

Also, this further proves my point that Australians are knobs (Massive generalisation) It is a quality show and they only showed it at some god awful hour in the night. Same with the Sopranos. Ridiculous.

Did you see Michael/Jason Bateman and George Michael/Michael Cera are in that new Juno movie together? George Michael is so type cast now...Especially in Superbad, that really over anxious teenager, same in Juno
 
great buy marns
yeah 3rd season got a bit crazy. My fav would have to be the Mrs. Featherbottom episodes.

more funny moments:
Gob & his son hired strippers, trying to compete with Michael & his son's banana stand:
Gob: Attention, everyone. Why go to a banana stand, when we can make your banana stand?

Tobias quotes:
  • who would like a banger in the mouth?
  • Oh, no, no. I’m not in the group yet. No, I’m afraid I just blue myself
  • Well, yes, but I’m afraid I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a dry run, if you will, so now I’m afraid I have something of a mess on my hands.
  • Oh. Can you imagine how jealous that would make her? “Where’s Tobias?” “Oh, he’s just sharing a romantic horseback ride with Michael Bluth, and they’re dipping each other in...” Oh, you didn’t get any body chocolate?
  • Well, Michael, you really are quite the Cupid, aren’t you? I tell you, you can zing your arrow into my buttocks any time.
  • Narrator: Tobias listens to a day's worth of his own words, to see what Michael was referring to...
    Tobias F*nke: [on tape] ... even if it means me taking a chubby, I will suck it up.
    Tobias F*nke: Nothing wrong with that.
    Tobias F*nke: [on tape] Oh, I've been in the film business for a while, but I just can't seem to get one in the can.
    Tobias F*nke: It's out of context.
    Tobias F*nke: [on tape] I wouldn't mind kissing that man between the cheeks, so to speak.
 
CaptainDavey said:
Yeah I got all the boxes for Xmas...Ah that was a good present. I get the feeling though season 1 is the best. Season 3 and it kinda loses its way...It's still very good but the whole 'FOR BRITISH EYES ONLY!' thing got old quick. Such a priceless show though. I'm kinda cut that they didn't make more but they finished on a high which is good.
Click to expand...
I agree that season 1 is the best. I'm slowly going through them all again, and I'm not really looking forward to the MRF episodes. They were good when you didn't know what was coming, but I just don't think they're as funny.

CaptainDavey said:
Did you see Michael/Jason Bateman and George Michael/Michael Cera are in that new Juno movie together? George Michael is so type cast now...Especially in Superbad, that really over anxious teenager, same in Juno
Click to expand...
Poor bastard, it's because he does it so well. It's kinda like Jason Alexander. Every time I see him in a movie I expect to see George Costanza because he sold it so well. Anything less is disappointing.

the ooze said:
great buy marns
yeah 3rd season got a bit crazy. My fav would have to be the Mrs. Featherbottom episodes.
Click to expand...

Those were great. Best scene was him trying to fly off the staircase and landing on the coffee table. Absolute gold.

Another top Tobias quote:
"And second-of-ly, I know you're the big marriage expert. Oh I'm sorry, I forgot. Your wife is dead!"
 
Arrested Development is the finest show to ever come from the US of A... kind of on the same par I regard the UK version of The Office.

Word is though the Bluth family isn't dead yet... the cast and crew are up for the prospect of a movie (I have a feeling they are gauging the success of the Sex And The City movie- if thats huge the greenlight will be rapid), and also David Cross is rumoured to be reprising the role of Dr Tobias Funke for the last season of Scrubs.

On that topic, Scrubs is shite... we're having a debate on that issue in our version of hell, the Roo Lounge.
 
Marns said:
Those were great. Best scene was him trying to fly off the staircase and landing on the coffee table. Absolute gold.
Click to expand...

Best. Scene. Ever.

"We shan't be telling your mother about this, shan't we?":D
 
Marns said:
Those were great. Best scene was him trying to fly off the staircase and landing on the coffee table. Absolute gold.
Click to expand...
Classic stuff. :D

There are so many great quotes and scenes. You can see why the part of Tobais was beefed up after it was only meant to be a small role - David Cross steals every scene he is in: Mrs Featherbottom, his acting classes with Carl Weathers, his cut-offs, his embraces, his hair plugs sucking the life from him, his mis-interpreted statements, Uncle T-Bag, his leather outfit etc.

Ann was a great decision as well.

One of my favourite bits was when the family were trying to decide what cause they were going to have the benefit for. I don't have the exact quote but Lucille and Buster wanted it to go towards neck flap, Gob shrinkage ("someone saw Seinfeld last night") and Michael ovarian cancer ("oh I wonder who that was").

My favourite recurring bit was the George Michael - Star Wars video.
 

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Two awesome recurring bits:

1) Every time someone is disappointed they do that soft music and they walk slowly with their heads hung low. Hahaha like when George Michael gets dumped by Ann

2) Every time there is a mention of Oscar being Busters legitimate father and it has that cheesey music. Hilarious!
 
Warwick said:
One of my favourite bits was when the family were trying to decide what cause they were going to have the benefit for. I don't have the exact quote but Lucille and Buster wanted it to go towards neck flap, Gob shrinkage ("someone saw Seinfeld last night") and Michael ovarian cancer ("oh I wonder who that was").
Click to expand...

Michael: We dont want to relive the TBA debacle.
Narrator: Years earlier, the Bluth's held their first fundraiser, but the family had a hard time agreeing on a cause.
George Sr.: [reading the slips] "Neckflap". "Ovarian Cancer". Gee, I wonder who that was? "Shrinkage". Somebody saw Seinfeld last night! Another one for "Neckflap".
Narrator: So they sent out invitations with the disease still to be announced. To their surprise, the Bluth's wound up raising over $25,000 dollars for TBA. Then, and here's the really horrible part, they did it again the following year.

Is this what you were after mate?
The rest of the episode quotes are here.

imdb is also a good place to find AD quotes
 

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Marns said:
Lindsay: Is that a shot at me?
G.O.B.: Probably.
Lindsay: Because, for your information, I have a job.
Michael: Really? What kind of job?
Lindsay: Beads!
G.O.B.: Bees?!
Lindsay: Beads.
G.O.B.: Beads?!
Michael: G.O.B.’s not on board.
Click to expand...

:D Yes.

Michael: She's got herself a little hard-boiled egg going there?
George Michael: Oh it's so cute, she'll sometimes take a little pack of mayonnaise and squirt it in her mouth, all of it, and then she'll take an egg and kinda-mmmm. She calls it a mayon-egg!
George Michael: Are you okay?
Michael: I don't feel so good.

Ann: This is my father, Pastor Terry Veale.
Terry: Hello!
Michael: Oh 'Pastor'... I uh, I didn't, I didn't know, you didn't tell me...
George Michael: I told you.
Michael: No you didn't.
Terry: People treat you so differently when they find out you're a man of god.
Michael: Oh... believe me, i know.
Terry: Oh, are you a churchgoing man?
Michael: I am... Sometimes. Yes. I don't go religiously. I mean, I'm not a-I'm not a nut about it. Because there is no such thing as a nut when it comes to religion, Pastor.
Terry: I've met a few.
Michael: I'm sure if you look a little bit closer you'll find some very earnest people that are just doing their best.
George Michael: What are you doin' Dad?
Michael: I don't know.
 
Not really a quote but when Tobias decides he will go back into business as an analyst/therapist and has business cards made up describing himself as an "Analrapist":D:D

I dearly hope they make a movie...
 
Oscar: Maybe I'll put it in her brownie
Michael: Hey!
 
CaptainDavey said:
...And that's why you don't teach lessons
Click to expand...

That was probably my favourite episode.

Michael: I want the guy with the one arm and the fake blood. J. Walter Weatherman. How do I get a hold of him?
George Sr.: Well, he's, uh, dead. You killed him when you left the door open with the air conditioner on.

Has anyone heard any of David Cross's (Tobias) standup? Easily the funniest comedian on earth.:thumbsu:
 

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