Autopsy Autopsy vs Suns, Rd 3 - it's a DEE-SASTER

[Daemon]

Welcome to the journey towards improved mental health. You have correctly analysed that staying to the end of a belting will do nothing but exacerbate the pain. If your journey is anything like mine your next steps may include:
1. sitting by yourself as far away from any living soul at the ground.
Pros - your mood is not amplified by any friends or loved ones absolutely melting at what they’re watching.
Cons - you don’t find out whether your aunt enjoyed your second cousins fourth child’s baby shower.
2. Wearing headphones/ ear pods to block out crowd noise/ opposition jeering. Pro tip - listen to thrash metal instead of a call of the game.
Pros - good to feel by CANDY is a banger of an album
Cons - you may miss some witty heckling from drunk collingwood supporters as you walk out of the monarchs birthday game
3. Arriving late to games.
Pros - you don’t feel the hope of maybe today will be different.
Cons - you don’t feel the crushing despair of that hope evaporating within the first two minutes of the game. Also 15 missed calls from your aunt wondering where you are so she can tell you about your second cousins fourth child’s baby shower.
4. Changing your focus for the day from enjoying a game of football to getting as inebriated as possible as quickly as possible.
Pros - the selection of drinks in the mcc has improved. You can bring cans to your seat.
Cons - the drinks are $15 and with the tolerance you build up over the season you will be looking at $200+ and cannot physically drink the amount needed in the space of a game.
5. Not attending games.
Pros - not sure, haven’t tried this yet.
Cons - your aunt will call you during the week to tell you about your second cousins fourth child’s baby shower. this may ruin a perfectly good non-football day.

Edit - someone with time - feel free to add this to the simpsons frozen yoghurt meme template.

Gold. Contender for post of the year.

 

[Dancing Potato]

Look at this
Trac looks absolutely shot, like I said feel sorry for the poor campaigner. Oliver looks like just walked out of a pub not realising it's day time again. View attachment 2266181

Yep. That's a man thinking "why am I here?"

 

[A11dAtP0w3R]

Gawn doesn't believe that shit - he just says it as he's the skip and has to

You're probably right and I hate having a go at him but he doesn't have to act like we are stupid and don't know what "a good game of footy" looks like.

Are teams still jealous of us or na?

 

[Daemon]

Yep. That's a man thinking "why am I here?"

He's a truffle in a field of toadstools.

 

[Daemon]

You're probably right and I hate having a go at him but he doesn't have to act like we are stupid and don't know what "a good game of footy" looks like.

Are teams still jealous of us or na?

He's got a reputation to maintain as mr nice guy. Will be retiring soon and probably wants to show those in the media he will be a good company man when they knock on his door for a post footy gig.

 

[A11dAtP0w3R]

He's got a reputation to maintain as mr nice guy. Will be retiring soon and probably wants to show those in the media he will be a good company man when they knock on his door for a post footy gig.

Just what we need, another talking head not saying anything controversial.

 

[Proper Gander]

Didn’t mind watching this game tbh. Mostly because the result seemed so predictable and I discovered that I don’t care enough to be bothered by it. Wandered off to get some air a few times. Went and had a nice bath during the 4th.

The bit I didn’t like was there was a phase where Suns kicked about 4 behinds in a row in the second. I was praying for them to goal just so I didn’t have to watch another sequence of our kick-ins.

 

[Topkent]

Don't buy that Gawn just towes the line and doesn't have any organic thoughts. He's a 32 year old captain not a 5 gamer scared under the lights of the camera. As captain he drives the culture with the coach

 

[Daemon]

Didn’t mind watching this game tbh. Mostly because the result seemed so predictable and I discovered that I don’t care enough to be bothered by it. Wandered off to get some air a few times. Went and had a nice bath during the 4th.

The bit I didn’t like was there was a phase where Suns kicked about 4 behinds in a row in the second. I was praying for them to goal just so I didn’t have to watch another sequence of our kick-ins.

Funny, the Dees also got a bath in the 4th.

 

[Proper Gander]

Funny, the Dees also got a bath in the 4th.

Yeah I had a feeling it was going to turn out a well-picked and antiphonal gesture

 

[shinboner spiggs]

Lending some love to our small club hombres in arms

 

[Proper Gander]

Lending some love to our small club hombres in arms

Welcome aboard!

I have no idea whether this is a gesture in good spirit or a massive troll but welcome all the same

 

[shinboner spiggs]

Welcome aboard!

I have no idea whether this is a gesture in good spirit or a massive troll but welcome all the same

Nah genuine, I mean Jesus Christ, I go for the kangas- trollings not our go. I actually went to the game yesterday, thought Langford was great but poor old JVR doesn’t haven’t a hope in hell doing well with how slow and high it’s coming in. Change of direction next year and you guys will be right as rain.

 

[Proper Gander]

Nah genuine, I mean Jesus Christ, I go for the kangas- trollings not our go. I actually went to the game yesterday, thought Langford was great but poor old JVR doesn’t haven’t a hope in hell doing well with how slow and high it’s coming in. Change of direction next year and you guys will be right as rain.

I agree with the change of direction. Changing losing to winning would be a start.

 

[Daemon]

Nah genuine, I mean Jesus Christ, I go for the kangas- trollings not our go. I actually went to the game yesterday, thought Langford was great but poor old JVR doesn’t haven’t a hope in hell doing well with how slow and high it’s coming in. Change of direction next year and you guys will be right as rain.

Are you one of those masochistic people? Neutral going to watch MFC, wow. Watching paint dry is more entertaining.

 

[Proper Gander]

Are you one of those masochistic people? Neutral going to watch MFC, wow. Watching paint dry is more entertaining.

Suns were a good watch though I thought, so there was that.

 

[Daemon]

Suns were a good watch though I thought, so there was that.

Meh, they were adequate. Rowell was pretty good though. Made Oliver look rather silly.

 

[Proper Gander]

Meh, they were adequate. Rowell was pretty good though. Made Oliver look rather silly.

Rowell looked a bit like Oliver when he was good

 

[I Love Lamb]

Rowell looked a bit like Oliver when he was good

I don’t get why Oliver is shit this season, he had a solid off season.

Has he just put the cue in the rack after we gave him a ridiculous contract and is doing the bare minimum to collect his pay cheque each week?

 

[Fork n Hell]

I don’t get why Oliver is shit this season, he had a solid off season.

Has he just put the cue in the rack after we gave him a ridiculous contract and is doing the bare minimum to collect his pay cheque each week?

yes

 

[Jamurp]

I can’t believe we’re crap again, I mean I absolutely can, it’s just it’s happened so quickly.

Don’t think the club can afford another 5 years in the wilderness, we need to be contending for finals again asap.

 

[Topkent]

I can’t believe we’re crap again, I mean I absolutely can, it’s just it’s happened so quickly.

Don’t think the club can afford another 5 years in the wilderness, we need to be contending for finals again asap.

There's a real risk we go off a cliff too. Gawn could be done soon, May has another year but is almost done aswell
Kozzie could leave
The bulk of our list talent is right in its prime or going over the edge
We could be absolutely stuffed.

 

[I Love Lamb]

I can’t believe we’re crap again, I mean I absolutely can, it’s just it’s happened so quickly.

Don’t think the club can afford another 5 years in the wilderness, we need to be contending for finals again asap.

No CEO
No head coach (soon)
Crappest group of assistant coaches
No training facilities

We sir are already in the wilderness.

 

[Dancing Potato]

There's a real risk we go off a cliff too. Gawn could be done soon, May has another year but is almost done aswell
Kozzie could leave
The bulk of our list talent is right in its prime or going over the edge
We could be absolutely stuffed.

View attachment 2266497

Yep, I was saying this 12-18 months ago.

We've got a huge gap of talent for players that will be entering their prime in the next couple of years. Basically Pickett, Rivers and McVee - though one of them will probably leave and another one has regressed horribly.

The age profile of our list is right on the precipice of collapse. We'll be back to relying on 3/4 of the team being kids or VFL plodders.

 

[schmuttt]

Yep, I was saying this 12-18 months ago.

We've got a huge gap of talent for players that will be entering their prime in the next couple of years. Basically Pickett, Rivers and McVee - though one of them will probably leave and another one has regressed horribly.

The age profile of our list is right on the precipice of collapse. We'll be back to relying on 3/4 of the team being kids or VFL plodders.

I've been resigned to completely bottoming out for a while, I'd rather us rip the bandaid off sooner rather than later.