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cemeteries- are they outdated

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We scattered my Gran's ashes in the ocean near my old man's beach house at Aldinga. It's quite calming to sit out on the balcony with a drink looking out to the ocean knowing that she is now part of that.
 
Outdated.

Whether you want to preserve the memory of a loved one with a headstone, urn etc. is a personal decision, but taking up public space with burial plots is pretty selfish IMO.

I've (unfortunately) been to Karrakatta Cemetry a few times and shook my head at the amount of keeping up with the Jones's (more accurately the Santorelli's and the Costa's) there is. It's like there is a giant 'well I can afford a bigger and better headstone so I loved my nonna more' competition going on. I just don't get it.
 
When I go I wanna be cremated in the cheapest coffin that can be purchased (cardboard maybe). Burnt, and then have my remains scattered at either Barwon Heads or Lorne.
 

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Scotland said:
Outdated.

Whether you want to preserve the memory of a loved one with a headstone, urn etc. is a personal decision, but taking up public space with burial plots is pretty selfish IMO.

I've (unfortunately) been to Karrakatta Cemetry a few times and shook my head at the amount of keeping up with the Jones's (more accurately the Santorelli's and the Costa's) there is. It's like there is a giant 'well I can afford a bigger and better headstone so I loved my nonna more' competition going on. I just don't get it.
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I've always considered grief to be a selfish emotion anyway. That's not to say it's bad, but the tears we weep at a funeral are essentially because we will never speak or see that person again, and that's often very hard to take in the case of a loved one.
 
I don't understand going to cemeteries to visit deceased loved ones? I'm not grasping the tangle thing between being at a gravestone and thinking about them? Is it a fear or guilt thing? Or do some people need a tangible figure (gravestone/site) to tie them to their diseased loved one?
 
courtjester said:
When I go I wanna be cremated in the cheapest coffin that can be purchased (cardboard maybe). Burnt, and then have my remains scattered at either Barwon Heads or Lorne.
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pretty sure standard practice is those big timber casket are rented for the funeral and they burn you in a cardboard box.
 
quickstraw said:
I don't understand going to cemeteries to visit deceased loved ones? I'm not grasping the tangle thing between being at a gravestone and thinking about them? Is it a fear or guilt thing? Or do some people need a tangible figure (gravestone/site) to tie them to their diseased loved one?
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When there's been a graveside ceremony and burial, the site (for some people) becomes a sacred site where they can remember and grieve. My grandmother still visits her husband's grave and her son's (died tragically young) grave once a week, as well as on their bdays and days like Xmas etc. She has a "conversation" with them when she's there, and lays some flowers from her garden.
 
I have a "sacred site" in my head meaning I don't need to drive or catch a bus anywhere to converse with the dead. I do get a few strange looks because people mistakenly think I'm talking to myself.
 
quickstraw said:
I don't understand going to cemeteries to visit deceased loved ones? I'm not grasping the tangle thing between being at a gravestone and thinking about them? Is it a fear or guilt thing? Or do some people need a tangible figure (gravestone/site) to tie them to their diseased loved one?
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I suspect as much as anything it helps people focus, and perhaps has a ritualistic element. We all know that, logically, it doesn't have any meaning to the deceased person. I guess for some people having something tangible right there can help, either dealing with grief or to rekindle memories.
 
Not that i could ever be bothered campaigning or getting in peoples faces about it (because it's such an emotional topic for many and the arguments would cause me me to feel more depressed about the majority of humans) - but i think that taking up land to bury people is ridiculous. It was fine in the dark ages when we didn't know any better and there was 100th of the population we have today. But to do it now is just one of those things i find so so stupid.
 

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nicky said:
Not that i could ever be bothered campaigning or getting in peoples faces about it (because it's such an emotional topic for many and the arguments would cause me me to feel more depressed about the majority of humans) - but i think that taking up land to bury people is ridiculous. It was fine in the dark ages when we didn't know any better and there was 100th of the population we have today. But to do it now is just one of those things i find so so stupid.
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I'm with you. Definitely less space taken up when they are in a jar on the mantelpiece.
 
quickstraw said:
I don't understand going to cemeteries to visit deceased loved ones? I'm not grasping the tangle thing between being at a gravestone and thinking about them? Is it a fear or guilt thing? Or do some people need a tangible figure (gravestone/site) to tie them to their diseased loved one?
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The name on the plaque, the surroundings. It's a quiet place and somewhere you really one go to remember that person.
 
Messenger said:
The name on the plaque, the surroundings. It's a quiet place and somewhere you really one go to remember that person.
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I can understand that. To be honest, I don't visit cemeteries to remember loved ones. If I am thinking about my Grandparents or my Best Mate, who left us to soon, I pull out the photo album.
 
I went to a funeral once to visit a family member's grave and some time later realised it didn't do anything for me. Each there own but haven't been back and doubt I will.
 
quickstraw said:
I have a "sacred site" in my head meaning I don't need to drive or catch a bus anywhere to converse with the dead. I do get a few strange looks because people mistakenly think I'm talking to myself.
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You need to learn when having a disagreement with yourself in public its better to whisper than yell i've found you get less strange looks
 

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I recently was thinking about this. We put together our wills and had to make plans for our funeral. I just automatically said I'd be buried but I'm thinking of changing it. It costs a lot of money and isn't really necessary. I always did kind of prefer the thought of my bones being around forever rather than just being turned to ash I guess. Preferably, I'd have a viking funeral. Put me on a pyre, set me off down the inlet and light me up. I don't think my local council would appreciate that though :D
 
I love the history of cemeteries. I also do like going to 'visit my mum' even if it is symbolic.

My family come from a small WA country town. The local cemetery has a collection of their graves. I love being able to wander around, look at the old names, and think about my heritage - then again, I'm more of a romantic than a realist.
 
courtjester said:
When I go I wanna be cremated in the cheapest coffin that can be purchased (cardboard maybe). Burnt, and then have my remains scattered at either Barwon Heads or Lorne.
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Samzies. Not specifically those 2 places but anywhere along the surfcoast I'm happy with.

Our ashes might cross paths one day & we can chat like old times here on BigFooty.
 
It's all economics, not emotions. If you can afford a really large & cool plot then good luck to you, take up as much space as you like. If you are too pov, and can't afford to buy a property because some prime land is taken up in Carlton by rich dudes before you - save some more money.
 

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