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Clive

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given his age and lack of talent, I think Hawthorn is the place for him, however if he was really crap and his daddy played for the pies...you can bet your bottom dollar where he'd be.
 
Originally posted by dan warna
given his age and lack of talent, I think Hawthorn is the place for him, however if he was really crap and his daddy played for the pies...you can bet your bottom dollar where he'd be.
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You should take your comedy act on the road ... well, anywhere but here will do.
 
Originally posted by dan warna
however if he was really crap and his daddy played for the pies...you can bet your bottom dollar where he'd be.
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With Marcus Picken?
 
Probably fit in well with the Crows and their retirement village they have got going on down there.
 

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Originally posted by coasting
Probably fit in well with the Crows and their retirement village they have got going on down there.
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They could do worse than have old Crazyhorse running around in the forward line. At least the unpredictability would keep things interesting.

Seriously, Clive was never going to set the world on fire, but between his bezillion injuries and the bezillion voices in his head, he probably has had more than his fair share of bad luck, and never really got the chance to show that he actually could play a bit. ;)
 
He won't ever play anywhere else, as after he kicks 13 goals to win the tigers the WAFL Grand final he will ascend into heaven in a flaming chariot pulled by Scott Chisholm and Andrew Wills.


Has anyone contacted the vatican to start the process for Sainthood yet?;)
 

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To me, Clive Waterhouse represents everything there is to like about our great, national game.

To say that Clive Waterhouse IS football, would be a call that is both monumental, yet something I could agree with wholeheartedly, because really, when you get down to tacks, I dare you to find a year before the introduction of Clive Waterhouse into the AFL in 1996 where the crowds were bigger, because you won't be able to, which is due to Clive's ability to appeal to both your average blue collar punter in the street to the chardonay sipping corporate suit who comes to the game expecting flair and value for money, which Clive provides in spades.

I remember having a discussion in a pub once about Clive, and when I say a discussion, I mean one of many discussions that I've had about Clive Waterhouse in pubs in my time, as quite frankly, anyone who shows great knowledge of Clive is guarenteed free drinks for the rest of his life......anyway, the Clive topic for the evening, was whether Clive, if he were born at the time, would have fought in Vietnam, or would he have protested against the war?

This debate raged on well past closing time, and eventually me and my learned friends came to the conclusion that we would find out some day, as we belive that Clive would one day build a time machine out of a Delorean ala Christopher Lloyd in Back to the Future and bring peace to the world, one way or another.

I also remember a time when me and a friend were throwing rocks at a homeless man outside Flinders St Station, and showed us the error of our ways, Clive showed us that we should be throwing rocks at the pigeons, killing them and preventing old ladies from being attacked by them, whilst leaving the homeless man with his dignity. Clive then stopped to quote Paul's letter to the Corinithians, before giving him his game day suit and $20 to get a hot meal, before walking across the Yarra to the G in only his underwear. Me and my friend looked on in awe at not only his dinosaur sized penis, but the way Clive could not only change the world in little ways, but also on a broader scale too. So much, we bombed the World Vision head offices with napalm as we knew that with Clive around, the world would be safe.

I also recall fondly the time Clive caught Winston Abraham and Gary Dhurrkay trying to syphen petrol out of Gerard Neesham's car for personal use.........


......to make a go-cart. Clive quickly chastised his teammates for their careless disregard for petrol safety, and called his friends in the IRA and together they all made a pipe bomb and killed Gerard Neesham and saved Princess Daisy from both Neesham and the evil Robot King.

Whilst typing my recounts of a life choc-full of Clive memories, a letter arrived for me, naturally it was from Clive, but from 20 years ago, because as I had suspected earlier, Clive had been able to go back in time in a Delorean to 1984 and set new records for when he kicked 20 goals in one game, all on Danny Frawley, drowning him in spit, and kicking the last one 85 metres to win the game after the siren, all the whilst converting to Islam at half time.

Clive also reports that he may have started the American Civil War, and may or may not have been the surviving Romanov.

Clive also sent me a can of fanta, so that doubly makes him a top bloke in my opinion.
 
Originally posted by CammoAU


I remember having a discussion in a pub once about Clive, and when I say a discussion, I mean one of many discussions that I've had about Clive Waterhouse in pubs in my time, as quite frankly, anyone who shows great knowledge of Clive is guarenteed free drinks for the rest of his life......anyway, the Clive topic for the evening, was whether Clive, if he were born at the time, would have fought in Vietnam, or would he have protested against the war?

This debate raged on well past closing time, and eventually me and my learned friends came to the conclusion that we would find out some day, as we belive that Clive would one day build a time machine out of a Delorean ala Christopher Lloyd in Back to the Future and bring peace to the world, one way or another.

I also remember a time when me and a friend were throwing rocks at a homeless man outside Flinders St Station, and showed us the error of our ways, Clive showed us that we should be throwing rocks at the pigeons, killing them and preventing old ladies from being attacked by them, whilst leaving the homeless man with his dignity. Clive then stopped to quote Paul's letter to the Corinithians, before giving him his game day suit and $20 to get a hot meal, before walking across the Yarra to the G in only his underwear. Me and my friend looked on in awe at not only his dinosaur sized penis, but the way Clive could not only change the world in little ways, but also on a broader scale too. So much, we bombed the World Vision head offices with napalm as we knew that with Clive around, the world would be safe.

I also recall fondly the time Clive caught Winston Abraham and Gary Dhurrkay trying to syphen petrol out of Gerard Neesham's car for personal use.........


......to make a go-cart. Clive quickly chastised his teammates for their careless disregard for petrol safety, and called his friends in the IRA and together they all made a pipe bomb and killed Gerard Neesham and saved Princess Daisy from both Neesham and the evil Robot King.

Whilst typing my recounts of a life choc-full of Clive memories, a letter arrived for me, naturally it was from Clive, but from 20 years ago, because as I had suspected earlier, Clive had been able to go back in time in a Delorean to 1984 and set new records for when he kicked 20 goals in one game, all on Danny Frawley, drowning him in spit, and kicking the last one 85 metres to win the game after the siren, all the whilst converting to Islam at half time.

Clive also reports that he may have started the American Civil War, and may or may not have been the surviving Romanov.

Clive also sent me a can of fanta, so that doubly makes him a top bloke in my opinion.
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I knew it was true...
 
Originally posted by CammoAU
To me, Clive Waterhouse represents everything there is to like about our great, national game.

To say that Clive Waterhouse IS football, would be a call that is both monumental, yet something I could agree with wholeheartedly, because really, when you get down to tacks, I dare you to find a year before the introduction of Clive Waterhouse into the AFL in 1996 where the crowds were bigger, because you won't be able to, which is due to Clive's ability to appeal to both your average blue collar punter in the street to the chardonay sipping corporate suit who comes to the game expecting flair and value for money, which Clive provides in spades.

I remember having a discussion in a pub once about Clive, and when I say a discussion, I mean one of many discussions that I've had about Clive Waterhouse in pubs in my time, as quite frankly, anyone who shows great knowledge of Clive is guarenteed free drinks for the rest of his life......anyway, the Clive topic for the evening, was whether Clive, if he were born at the time, would have fought in Vietnam, or would he have protested against the war?

This debate raged on well past closing time, and eventually me and my learned friends came to the conclusion that we would find out some day, as we belive that Clive would one day build a time machine out of a Delorean ala Christopher Lloyd in Back to the Future and bring peace to the world, one way or another.

I also remember a time when me and a friend were throwing rocks at a homeless man outside Flinders St Station, and showed us the error of our ways, Clive showed us that we should be throwing rocks at the pigeons, killing them and preventing old ladies from being attacked by them, whilst leaving the homeless man with his dignity. Clive then stopped to quote Paul's letter to the Corinithians, before giving him his game day suit and $20 to get a hot meal, before walking across the Yarra to the G in only his underwear. Me and my friend looked on in awe at not only his dinosaur sized penis, but the way Clive could not only change the world in little ways, but also on a broader scale too. So much, we bombed the World Vision head offices with napalm as we knew that with Clive around, the world would be safe.

I also recall fondly the time Clive caught Winston Abraham and Gary Dhurrkay trying to syphen petrol out of Gerard Neesham's car for personal use.........


......to make a go-cart. Clive quickly chastised his teammates for their careless disregard for petrol safety, and called his friends in the IRA and together they all made a pipe bomb and killed Gerard Neesham and saved Princess Daisy from both Neesham and the evil Robot King.

Whilst typing my recounts of a life choc-full of Clive memories, a letter arrived for me, naturally it was from Clive, but from 20 years ago, because as I had suspected earlier, Clive had been able to go back in time in a Delorean to 1984 and set new records for when he kicked 20 goals in one game, all on Danny Frawley, drowning him in spit, and kicking the last one 85 metres to win the game after the siren, all the whilst converting to Islam at half time.

Clive also reports that he may have started the American Civil War, and may or may not have been the surviving Romanov.

Clive also sent me a can of fanta, so that doubly makes him a top bloke in my opinion.
Click to expand...

youve got some time on your hands.

But thank you for taking that time to write this because it was one of the funnier things ive read in a while.
 
Long live Cliive
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