- Joined
- Sep 14, 2004
- Posts
- 9,053
- Reaction score
- 777
- Location
- Melbourne
- AFL Club
- Melbourne
- Other Teams
- Pittsburgh Penguins
Well seeing as we've had some great jokes put forward about the MFC (and amongst Collingwood fans theyve been 'hilarious'), I thought it was time for me to open up my own sh1tty little thread such as Tess'.
Here are some jokes I found:
Q. What do you do for a drowning Collingwood player?
A. Nothing. You could drag him to the top, but he'll choke anyway.
===========================
Q. Whats the difference between Collingwood and an arsonist?
A. An arsonist wouldn't waste 22 matches.
============================
Collingwood are bringing out a new bra! Plenty of support, soft and no CUP!!!
============================
Did you hear that the Post Office has had to recall their latest stamps?
They had pictures of Collingwood players on them. People couldn't figure out which side to spit on.
============================
Did you hear about the politician who was found dead in a Collingwood jersey?
The police had to dress him up in women's underwear in order to save his family from the embarrassment.
============================
Four surgeons are taking a coffee break. The first one says, "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up everything inside them is numbered." The second surgeon says, "Nah, librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order."
Third surgeon says,"Try electricians. Everything inside them is colour-coded."
The fourth one says, "I prefer Collingwood players. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and bums are interchangeable."
============================
A man meets a friend and sees that his friend's car is total write-off and covered with leaves, grass, branches, dirt and blood.
He asks his friend "What's happened to your car ?" "Well," the friend responds, "I ran over Nathan Buckley".
"OK," says the man, "that explains the blood... But what about the leaves, the grass, the branches and the dirt ?" "Well, he tried to escape through the park."
============================
Q. If you see a Collingwood fan on a bicycle, why should you never swerve to hit him?
A. It could be your bicycle.
============================
Q. What do Collingwood fans and sperm have in common?
A. One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
============================
Q. What do you have when 100 Collingwood fans are buried up to
their necks in sand?
A. Not enough sand.
============================
Q. What's the difference between a dead dog on the road and a dead Collingwood fan on the road?
A. There are skid marks in front of the dog.
============================
Q. You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and an Collingwood fan. You have a gun with two bullets. What do you do?
A. Shoot the Collingwood fan - twice.
============================
Q. How many Collingwood fans does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Seven - one to change it, five to moan about it and make excuses and Mick Malthouse to say that if the umpire had done his job in the first place the light bulb would never have gone out.
=============================
Q. What's the difference between a female Collingwood fan and a Pit bull?
A. Lipstick
=============================
Q. Santa Claus , the tooth fairy , an intelligent Collingwood fan, and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a $100.00 note. Who gets it?
A. The drunk , of course ; the other three are mythical creatures.
==============================
Q. What is black and brown and looks good on a Collingwood Fan?
A. A Doberman.
==============================
Q. What do Collingwood Fans use for birth control ?
A. Their personalities.
==============================
Q. What is the difference between an Collingwood Fan and a trampoline?
A. You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline.
==============================
Q. What do you call 5000 dead Collingwood Fans at the bottom of the ocean?
A. A good start.
Here are some jokes I found:
Q. What do you do for a drowning Collingwood player?
A. Nothing. You could drag him to the top, but he'll choke anyway.
===========================
Q. Whats the difference between Collingwood and an arsonist?
A. An arsonist wouldn't waste 22 matches.
============================
Collingwood are bringing out a new bra! Plenty of support, soft and no CUP!!!
============================
Did you hear that the Post Office has had to recall their latest stamps?
They had pictures of Collingwood players on them. People couldn't figure out which side to spit on.
============================
Did you hear about the politician who was found dead in a Collingwood jersey?
The police had to dress him up in women's underwear in order to save his family from the embarrassment.
============================
Four surgeons are taking a coffee break. The first one says, "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up everything inside them is numbered." The second surgeon says, "Nah, librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order."
Third surgeon says,"Try electricians. Everything inside them is colour-coded."
The fourth one says, "I prefer Collingwood players. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and bums are interchangeable."
============================
A man meets a friend and sees that his friend's car is total write-off and covered with leaves, grass, branches, dirt and blood.
He asks his friend "What's happened to your car ?" "Well," the friend responds, "I ran over Nathan Buckley".
"OK," says the man, "that explains the blood... But what about the leaves, the grass, the branches and the dirt ?" "Well, he tried to escape through the park."
============================
Q. If you see a Collingwood fan on a bicycle, why should you never swerve to hit him?
A. It could be your bicycle.
============================
Q. What do Collingwood fans and sperm have in common?
A. One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
============================
Q. What do you have when 100 Collingwood fans are buried up to
their necks in sand?
A. Not enough sand.
============================
Q. What's the difference between a dead dog on the road and a dead Collingwood fan on the road?
A. There are skid marks in front of the dog.
============================
Q. You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and an Collingwood fan. You have a gun with two bullets. What do you do?
A. Shoot the Collingwood fan - twice.
============================
Q. How many Collingwood fans does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Seven - one to change it, five to moan about it and make excuses and Mick Malthouse to say that if the umpire had done his job in the first place the light bulb would never have gone out.
=============================
Q. What's the difference between a female Collingwood fan and a Pit bull?
A. Lipstick
=============================
Q. Santa Claus , the tooth fairy , an intelligent Collingwood fan, and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a $100.00 note. Who gets it?
A. The drunk , of course ; the other three are mythical creatures.
==============================
Q. What is black and brown and looks good on a Collingwood Fan?
A. A Doberman.
==============================
Q. What do Collingwood Fans use for birth control ?
A. Their personalities.
==============================
Q. What is the difference between an Collingwood Fan and a trampoline?
A. You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline.
==============================
Q. What do you call 5000 dead Collingwood Fans at the bottom of the ocean?
A. A good start.
