Cricketers thread

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Wayne's-World said:
OK i'll put my hand up and say that i've turned from a fanatical Test Cricket watcher to hating the game now .....so i have bias

But can someone answer me this ? .......in this age of litigation with health & safety, who do we wait for an accident to happen b4 we are forced to take any action at all :rolleyes:

Blind Freddy can see that a spectator will be hit in the face with a cricket ball, with the increased emphasis and encouragement by Administrators, to hit more 6's

1. They've brought the boundaries in
2. They've allowed monster bats
3. The introduction of BBL and 20 over games

If i'm a spectator paying money to be entertained, do i expect to get a ball into my face ? .....gee i hope someone sues the pants off Cricket Australia .......we all know they've done a risk analysis on this happening, and believe the infrastructure cost (nets around the ground) and impact to the games spectacle outweighs potential legal costs

Even the AFL put up nets behind the goals in pre-game warm ups due to this possibility
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If you are going to attend cricket games & worried about getting hit by the cricket ball... because I assume you are not watching... then sit in the upper stands...or next to a mate who is watching & is a good catch.
 
Wayne's-World said:
GreyCrow .....exhibit B .....a 3 year old in $550 shoes .....give me a freakin break
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Lol, the mother obviously has more money than sense putting her kid in $550 shoes.

The mother should take responsibility for inappropriately dressing her daughter. ;)
 
So I played in the T20. Hit 73no after going in in the third over and ended up seeing out the innings. A bit of a batting collapse happened around me, but we managed to get to 150. Managed figures of 1/10 with the ball, but we weren't good enough and the opposition got the runs in the 19th over. One huge over for them in the 17th over of the chase cost us the match in the end. Was good to have a run around again, even though it was damn hot. Have never really played sub-district cricket before, so it was certainly interesting played on a council prepared deck which was very up and down. It had also probably been used both days over the weekend, and it was crumbling and falling to pieces by late afternoon.
 

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Pea Nut said:
So I played in the T20. Hit 73no after going in in the third over and ended up seeing out the innings. A bit of a batting collapse happened around me, but we managed to get to 150. Managed figures of 1/10 with the ball, but we weren't good enough and the opposition got the runs in the 19th over. One huge over for them in the 17th over of the chase cost us the match in the end. Was good to have a run around again, even though it was damn hot. Have never really played sub-district cricket before, so it was certainly interesting played on a council prepared deck which was very up and down. It had also probably been used both days over the weekend, and it was crumbling and falling to pieces by late afternoon.
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73 in a T20 match is an awesome knock, well done.
 
I know some of you may think that I knocked myself out again and so it was the premature end to another season but that is not the case. It basically just goes to show my lament at the last few games of a season. If you don't make the finals, by late Feb early March, you are kind of happy and if you are going to be in them the last few games is only about pole positions and in knock out games it means little except for home ground advantage.

The first game of the two I have missed was another tribute to Kikuyu grass, often about ankle length. We won, the game sucked, we tried to outright them and proceeded to drop a bucket load of catches, possibly due to everyones severe grass allergies caused by the seeding Kikuyu. It annoys me that we had offered to play the game at our home ground, with it's even surface, lovingly maintained grass and a fully stocked bar but there we were, playing in a farmers field.

So, the lack of an outright meant that it was a 1v2 for the last match of the season. It has been years since we have beaten this team but we have gotten closer the last two times. Given they have two or three dead set utensils in their team, we all made a pact to stick it to them and we did. Our ground fielding was spot on with even us old guys sliding, picking up the ball and then throwing. It wasn't quite at say an Australian teams standard of fielding but definitely an Indian test teams standard and probably better than a Pakistani test teams.

After they went to drinks at 1-93, we turned the screws on them and rolled them for 160 and decided to just block out the last six overs before the end of play on day 1. We ended up 1-40, which had me scratching my head t what the score could have been if the openers went on the attack. On the second day we lost wickets but kept the run scoring up matching their score 6 down and then being 50 ahead when with 30 overs still to bowl, graciously offered to stop and just drink beers the rest of the arvo.

They accepted.

So, it is finals this week and we play the 4th team at home. I have been in this position before and have lost, to a side we out righted both times during the season so hopefully this time we stay focussed, I mean I have already planned a day off for Monday week, so it'd be a bit embarrasing if we don't even make the GF
 
Ahhh finals two days of cricket in a row, what more could a 40+ year old man want in life?

A public holiday to recover probably so lucky I have one of those today otherwise I'd be a fair mess at work today, particularly given the pain relief I am on. Given that though it was an interesting two days of cricket. With rain present on the first day, everyone was scouring the rules book to see how that affected the game and after that numerous phone calls were made to the executive committee for clarification. The end result was, no play on Saturday and the game was reduced to just 60 overs and we were entitled to bat them all if we wanted, or if play happened on Saturday but not all 60 were bowled, then we would split the difference come Sunday ( if only 40 were bowled Saturday, we would bat 10 the next day and they would then face 50)

Luckily for us, we were on hard wicket so we could play in the rain and once the game got started and start it did an hour late at 2pm. In the third over the fat man was at the crease with the side 1-11 and was soon back in the sheds with the score at 2-42, scoring 29 off about 12 deliveries, sadly getting out trying to glide a ball past slips instead of hitting it harder backward of point.

Runs flowed but so did wickets and after 18 overs we were looking in a little trouble at 5-92, the game was really in the balance and our best batsmen were all out. There were a few of us pretty nervous that the same nightmare from two years ago was going to happen again but our opening bowler who usually just finds ways to get out when he should just dominate, decided to stand up and stand up he did. Ably assisted by our gun fielder they took us to a better position with a 65 run stand to give us some breathing space. Next in was our captain who combined with our opening bowler to keep pushing the score forward and as soon as we got to 200, the opposition dropped off.

At the end of the days play, our opening bowler had registered his maiden century and our captain was 42 not out leaving us 7-279 after 49.4 overs.

If I thought the 40 minutes on Saturday with people debating the rules on wet weather was painful, it had nothing on the next day with my team mates debating whether the opposition were to bat 54 or 55 overs. You would think it would be a simple conversation, agreed upon and then not spoken of again but if I told you that I was seriously close to beating two team mates to death with my fancy cricket bat who just kept going on about 54 overs and would not ******* shut up about it. The level of stupidity in the debate was about as much as the guards in the tower sketch in the Holy Grail movie but at least that sketch was amusing.

Anyways, we finished our last few overs to be all out for 292 and we came back onto the field with a discussion on whether the opposition had 54, 55 or 56 overs to score the runs. At this stage I was seriously close to announcing my retirement and getting in my car and going home. FFS the utter stupidity of it in the circumstance of a game we were miles ahead of was outstanding but they kept it up.

We got their most attacking batsman out early and it looked like the opposition set about seeing out the day. It was frustrating watching us bowl to our plans without changing it up. Our spinner bowled medium pace instead of adjusting his speeds, nobody came around the wicket and the game ambled on until the 27th over when the captain had a steak of inspiration.

Yep, that's right, Jumbo got the ball and bowled 4 overs for 14 runs and took 5 wickets. Effort ball, followed by knuckle ball, followed by outswinger followed by off cutter and when the batsman was left handed, around the wicket off cutters. Granted usually this plan results in 4,6,4,4,6,1 but yesterday it just came off sweetly, even to the point of moving a fielder into short cover for their lefty batsman on 75, around the wicket big off cutter, onto bat, spooned straight to fielder, on your way son.

So, 7 overs later, myself and the gun fielder took all remaining seven wickets and we were straight into beers, snags and hamburgers off the BBQ.

Comment of the day went to our opening bat in A grade whom when I told him that I had taken two wickets with knuckle balls said "FFS you bowl slow enough as it is without having a slower ball". Absolute bastard but he may be right.
 
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Sooooooooooooooo, we played the grand final.

On a balmy hot day we lost the toss and fielded and things didn't go to plan. It would be easy to blame other members of the team...and I have but we didn't appear to have a plan whilst we were bowling and it killed us in the end. Our young opening bowlers bowled well without success and by time Jumbo was thrown the ball, the opposition was rocking along at 0-90 off 16 overs.

It took a couple of overs to get my line but then up to drinks I bowled a good mixture of slower balls, cutters and effort balls ( which seem to get confused with slower balls), having one batsman dropped three times and dismissing the other. Sadly, I was taken off ( I booed the captain) and I spent the rest off the day chasing leather...and there was a lot of chasing to be done. Still, I did get stuck out a long on a lot and was more surprised than most when a massive heave came my way. I had no idea whether I was inside the line or outside as the ball came to me. I decided it didn't matter, the days of me catching it in mid air, throwing it back and catching it were far, far in the distance. The ball came and go * me but I caught it and there you go, still a metre inside the boundary.

Now I blame this generation for us having to have boundaries inside picket fences, back in my day, people that spiked themselves on picket fences were only separating the wheat from the chaff., Now we need boundaries inside of boundaries so my taxes can be used to support those who should be donating organs to those who can make a difference to society.

Anyways, it didn't get any better, the guy I had dropped three times before he got to 50, scored 134 and our bowlers decided that the way to get their best bat out was to bowl long hops. It didn't work and he hit a few sixes as their team scored 365 off 60 overs.

It was a cold few beers I had that night.

Next day we came out to bat and after three overs I was in. I'd like to say I thought my way into the contest but that would be a lie, a dirty stinking lie. I decided not to wait for the bad ball but to hit across the line of a yorker on leg stump. Now you may remember me saying my batting got better after I removed a few shots from my playbook...yeah well this was one of them. It hurts but I didn't stand up in a final with the bat after scoring a huge amount of runs all season.

After I spat the dummy at myself in the clubroom, I was able to sit and watch our opener and number 4 put on a 240 run partnership which was a damned pleasure to watch. By time our number 4 was out we had the task of knocking 90 off 10 overs to win the match. Sadly, we just missed out on the big prize coming a handful of runs short due to some great later over bowling, it isn't often you score over 300 runs in a 60 over match and come up short.

We managed it though :)

It meant that we had to put up with the opposition acting like they got their first BJ which wasn't by a male relative, which was really painful. Had to stand there for 10 minutes whilst they acted like utensils, still good luck to them, w***ers that they are.

So, in the end close but no banana.

On the Monday after the match, I retired, I could barely move. It was my body telling me that time had caught up with me and there would be no more cricket.

By the Saturday, I had taken the extratec of my Hitman, spent an hour sanding it down, a lick of oil for winter and at 1143 grams or 2 pound 8 and a quarter ounces, it should be right for next year...when I get a shoulder clean out, my fractured hand heals and I forget all the aches and pains that make me want to stop playing the greatest god damned game that has ever been invented.
 
I know this may sound strange but....I am getting close to being injury free. I have even looked at my second most expensive bat and thought " probably need a new grip on that".

Obviously, I have sanded all three bats like a batmaker that are top notch and put a lick of oil on them but I am getting close to going around for another season.

If anything was amusing, it was the looks on peoples faces when I gave my speech at the club championship award and admitted that I never played a proper game of cricket until I turned 40...and I had won the club champion award. Granted I was a gun indoor cricketer back in the day but why should they know that???

Still, there were a few big trophies in the Jumbo cabinet this year, Player of the year in the competition, club champion, biggest alcoholic...all awards I excelled at but geez, I want to win a a flag.

On the funny side, I tracked a Laver and Wood Sig bat on Ebay...and it was 2 pound 9, an unusually light weight for such a grand bat. I thought about bidding for it and even though to be honest, any bat is in my price range...but I have been brought up by parents who lived through the depression and WW2, so I decided to let it pass at about $480...and afters I told my wife and she said " oh if you really wanted it, you should of"...so you know...s**t.
 
So for people that don't get the Laver and Wood bat reference.

It would be like me saying " I saw a HT Monaro on Ebay, all done cosmetically and mechanically and just needed a paint job and they were selling it for 10K". Now think that 10k isn't an issue but you know, there are better things to spend money on...and your wife says " oh, if you really wanted it..."
 
jumboprince said:
I know this may sound strange but....I am getting close to being injury free. I have even looked at my second most expensive bat and thought " probably need a new grip on that".

Obviously, I have sanded all three bats like a batmaker that are top notch and put a lick of oil on them but I am getting close to going around for another season.

If anything was amusing, it was the looks on peoples faces when I gave my speech at the club championship award and admitted that I never played a proper game of cricket until I turned 40...and I had won the club champion award. Granted I was a gun indoor cricketer back in the day but why should they know that???

Still, there were a few big trophies in the Jumbo cabinet this year, Player of the year in the competition, club champion, biggest alcoholic...all awards I excelled at but geez, I want to win a a flag.

On the funny side, I tracked a Laver and Wood Sig bat on Ebay...and it was 2 pound 9, an unusually light weight for such a grand bat. I thought about bidding for it and even though to be honest, any bat is in my price range...but I have been brought up by parents who lived through the depression and WW2, so I decided to let it pass at about $480...and afters I told my wife and she said " oh if you really wanted it, you should of"...so you know...s**t.
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There's nothing like a flag... Keep chasing it!

Well done on the individual honours and commiserations on the Laver and Wood. Who do you play for Jumbo?
 

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Big Crow said:
Oh yeah. I hear they've got a few big name recruits for next season.
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Have had a few Australian reps from the club

Obviously I won't be the next unless they want a fat guy who drinks and is willing to take up smoking after 20 years off, handy with bat and ball and will field with his feet...

If they do though, I am available
 
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So....


It is that time again when real men bash balls with willow, the cricket season is upon us.

Now, I know regular readers will think, "Jumbo, being the massive batwhore you are, surely you bought a bat in the off season?'' and you would be right but there is a story.

So, Mrs JP is originally from WA, so we went to the inbred state for one of her friends birthday party. It was a good week we had there without the kids with their nag nag nag and by the time the weekend came, we were relaxed and ready for the party.

Lo and behold but one of the people at the party was an Australian cricketer, just back from coughing up the Gavaskar trophy. I won't bore you with too many details but my wife mentions I am a cricketer ( like a very poor one. Jeez, it is like filming one porno with the wife and her telling Russell Crowe that you are also an actor) and we get talking, one thing leads to another and we are in a taxi to his house to check out his bats.

I will say at this point, he made me pay for a slab we picked up on the way back because just cause you are probably on over a mil a year doesn't mean you should pay for piss. Cheap bastard and no wonder I bagged his batting all these years, cheap runs and cheaper beers.

Anyways, at his house bouncing cricket balls on bats and they are just sensational and to be quite honest besides him making me shout him a slab, nice guy. Even better he gave me a bat, well gave is a strong word, he still charged me but for a few hundred bucks I had a test match bat.

Obviously, coming back to the party with a bat made the good wife shake her head, apparently she believed me when I said the last one was...the last one. As I told her, it takes two to lie, one to tell it and one to believe it, so she is just as bad as me.

So, have been mucking around with the bat and have decided after today that at 2 pound 10, it may be a little heavy so I will look at getting it reduced but I will wait and see on that.

To the cricket and I am back in the 1s even though I feel I am too old. Strange thing was, after scoring 500 runs last year, winning club player of the year, I got to bat 8 and have people I out batted last year bat in front of me.

On the positive, it meant I did less so I am feeling pretty good after the first match and not the emotional and physical wreck I usually am first up. So, I could go on and on about the two overs at the end I faced but 6 not out was it. I even ran a three when my batting partner edged one through slips though it was noted I was breathing so heavilly the grill on my helmet was being drawn in on my breathes.

We ended our 35 overs on 160 and the watched the opposition flay our opening bowlers for 70 runs without loss off the first 8 overs. It should have been an easy win for the oppo but as they say in the classics, catches win matches and we didn't drop one. Even when we went to drink in the 19th over off a catch by yours truly, they needed 43, with 5 wickets left and 16 overs but it was a bridge too far.

Will point out at this stage, when I took my catch off a skied ball to mid on, the first slip, bet the keeper 5 bucks that I'd drop it. What a prick and I hope he feels like s**t giving that 5 bucks to the keeper that had faith in me and hadn't seen all the catches I had dropped in the last 3 seasons.

Still, with catches taken, tight bowling and a little self destructing on the batters part, we got over the line by 17 runs.

Good start by the boys
 
So, this week I put my hand up to captain the magoos. Nobody else put theire hand up and with a bunch of new faces in the side, it would be a little unfair to ask one of the new guys to give the captaincy thing a whirl.

When I picked the team I noticed we had two proper batsmen ( if you include me) and three proper bowlers ( once again, if you include me) but funnily enough, no wicketkeeper. Given there is three wicket keepers playing in the ones, it is a little rich.

Given I did a fair amount of keeping as a kid in Indoor cricket...back in the 80s, I felt I should give it a go and lets be fair, I am sick to death of having my bowling tonked.

So out to Kalangadoo to play a one dayer and as a change, I win the toss...and decide to bat. Our opening bat, who I was hoping to get 25 overs and maybe a 50 out of, went first over for a duck. I came in to watch the next over from the strikers end and the other opener get bowled.

Wickets continued to fall but I didn't have an issue with the bowlers, just myself. For those who play, they had a three man on side field, to a bowler who probably didn't deserve it, I hit two leg side deliveries in the air just behind square and they moved the midwicket to square leg. To a smart batter that means play the ball to midwicket and there is an easy single and I can keep strike but he pitched short of a length, I went to pull it through midwicket, the ball kept low and yeah, bowled.

Pretty narky with myself because watching the rest of the team, they can keep the ball out but not really score runs, I needed to show some discipline but I guess if it is a lesson learned then it will be OK.

Sadly, we didn't quite see out the overs and only scored 46, which is a mighty hard score to defend given the two bowlers thing, particularly when one is having a bad day. The other one though, on fire, 7 overs 2 maidens 18 runs and five wickets.

It wasn't enough though but I gave everyone a bowl to see how they go and being behind the stumps, I could see a few flaws with technique that should be easy to fix. This might make us a sneaky outside chance of making the finals if the fatman can bat the opposition out of overs and the bowlers can take some advice.

I know what you are thinking though, how did you go behind the stumps, did you concede thirty byes like Matty Wade? Well, just one bye, two catches, one of them pretty impressive and a stumping, where I managed to knock every stump out of the ground even though I am aware that just the bails need to be dislodged.

Still, a big loss but one that if I can put my head down with the bat, have others value their wicket, we can turn around.
 
Pea Nut said:
How the hell do you get bowled playing a pull shot ?? What sort of decks do you play on ??? And if you say synthetic you are going to lose all credibility !!
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In answer to the question, synthetic with sand on the pitch after footy season. Played the first two balls and they bounced predictably, the one that bowled me skidded through ankle height. Was shitty as given it was synth, I was happy the ball would have a regular bounce but yeah, couldn't adjust quickly enough.
 
I know what you are thinking, dude, where is the mother ******* update?

So, we have had a two day match and I missed the first week. Little girl took out a state maths award so I was pretty happy to give the first week a miss and hang out in Adelaide with family and friends. We were all pretty sure that she caused all the people she beat, great family dishonour but there you go.

Still, it appears my team plays far better without me there, which is great I guess. Opposition all out for 77 and we ended up at stumps 3-24 with still a bit of work to do. Today, in glorious sunshine and to be honest, a bit of heat we set about the task of scoring runs and not losing wickets. Neither went well to begin with as we lost two wickets with bugger all added to the score and there opening bowler swinging the ball from leg to outside off stump causing real isues for our batsmen.

Luckily, he was there only decent bowler and given I was our only batsman left who has any sort of technique ( and not that much), I decided to face all of his deliveries and just block him out. The bastard bowled like two deliveries in 15 overs I couldn't just dead bat but I just kept changing where I was facing him, moving forward and then back so he couldn't quite get the rhythm he needed.

It was an absolute delight though, to see lollygaggers bowling at the other end whilst I was concentrating so hard to keep their only decent bowler out. Still, our resident leggie and I started putting some runs together and by the end of 20 overs we were only a dozen runs behind. From there it picked up and we started to get runs quicker until I was out on 45 hitting a s**t ball to square leg with us in the lead by 50 runs.

From there it was a bit of lusty hitting by our tail and our resident leggie ending his innings on 46, to go with 3 for 4 from his bowling, we ended up on 198.

Beers went down well when we got back to the club and we found there is a new game being played there. It is a bit of a play on the old meat raffle. Everyone puts in a few bucks and the number is drawn and they win the meat tray. The play on it is we then take the tray out to the BBQ and have a feed, good stuff, except maybe for the guy who won the meat tray. Still he got to take home a pack of 4 kranskys so it wasn't a complete loss but 4 scotch fillet steaks, a dozen snags, a dozen hamburgers won't be going to his freezer as they were all given a good home.
 
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