Dad jokes - add yours

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SonofSamsquanch

Member of Bushwood Golf Club
Mar 31, 2016
4,961
9,733
AFL Club
North Melbourne
A polar bear cub walks up to his father - am I really a polar bear dad?
Of course son.
No brown bear or koala in me?
Of course not son - why do you ask?
Coz I'm friggin freezin.
How do you catch a polar bear?



You dig a large hole in the ice, and place a small pile of frozen peas alongside the hole.

When the bear bends down for a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.
 

Firestarter

Brownlow Medallist
Feb 19, 2016
24,555
29,842
AFL Club
North Melbourne
Do elaborate
It is even worse than a dad joke.

Once upon a time there was a Fly buzzing over the edge of a river, and beneath the water there was a fish that saw the fly buzzing close to the water. The fish thought to himself "If that fly drops six inches I'll be able to swim up and eat it!"

Now on the shore of the river there was a bear, the bear sees the fly, and sees the fish and the bear thinks to himself "If that fly drops six inches, that fish is gonna jump out of the water to catch it, and I'll be able to catch it to eat!"

Now not far from the river was a hunter at his camp, he sees the fly, the fish, and the bear through his binoculars and he thinks to himself, "If that fly drops six inches, that fish is gonna jump out of the water to catch it, that bear is gonna come out of the trees to get the fish and I'll be able to shoot it!"

Now in the grass of the Hunter's camp there was a mouse, the mouse see's the fly, the fish, the bear, and the hunter and he thinks to himself "If that fly drops six inches, that fish is gonna jump out of the water to catch it, that bear is gonna come out of the trees to get the fish, the hunter is gonna get up to to shoot the bear and I'll be able to get the Hunter's TrailMix to eat!"

Now the Hunter had brought his cat along, and the cat sees all of this. He sees the fly, fish, bear, the hunter, and the mouse and the cat thinks to himself "If that fly drops six inches, that fish is gonna jump out of the water to catch it, that bear is gonna come out of the trees to get the fish, the hunter is gonna get up to to shoot the bear, that mouse is gonna come out to steal the TrailMix and I'll be able to catch the mouse and eat!"

Well, sure enough the fly drops six inches, the fish jumps out of the water and catches the fly, the bear comes out of the woods and catches the fish, the hunter sets down his TrailMix and grabs his rifle and shoots the bear, the mouse comes out of hiding and goes for the TrailMix and the cat pounces for the mouse. The cat lands near the mouse, slips, and falls into the river.

The moral of this story is simple: Whenever a fly drops six inches a pussy is bound to get wet.
 

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