Beauty & Style Defecating oneself

[Silent Alarm]

Gareth has got his story from somewhere else. If you read his direct replies in this thread, the grammatical errors show that. In the first, his spelling is okay, but his punctuation leaves a lot to be desired. In the later posts, he can't spell and can't use punctuation. He spells "soul" correctly in the story, but then goes on to spell it "sole". The two styles of 'writing' are incompatible.

Some of these stories are very funny, though.

 

[Cruyff14]

"His" latest post sounds like "he" was drunk. The things people will do for internet approval.

 

[Igloo]

Gareth has got his story from somewhere else. If you read his direct replies in this thread, the grammatical errors show that. In the first, his spelling is okay, but his punctuation leaves a lot to be desired. In the later posts, he can't spell and can't use punctuation. He spells "soul" correctly in the story, but then goes on to spell it "sole". The two styles of 'writing' are incompatible.

Some of these stories are very funny, though.

I think myself and someone else accused him of taking them from somewhere else a while ago. He denied it, but I could have sworn I had read one of them before .

 

[HARPSichord]

I think myself and someone else accused him of taking them from somewhere else a while ago. He denied it, but I could have sworn I had read one of them before .

The things people do for respect on an internet forum.

 

[muttweed]

Perfect, perfect timing.

I'm currently travelling the world with my best friend. We have been in an Argentinian hotel for the past couple days.

I probably should have looked up reviews instead of deciding where to stay on the spot, because this hotel is pretty shit. Bug-infested hole.

Anyway, we walk into the hotel, look around the place, and it seems okay ar first. Friend is busting to go toilet, and starts to run around looking for one. She rushes into the kitchen, and hanging right above her head are two of the biggest, hairiest, ugliest spiders we've ever seen!

I'm shit scared of spiders, but my friend is almost deathly afraid. So as you probably will guess, she shits her pants.

Not wanting to stink out the hotel, she takes off her shitfilled underwear and chucks it out our window, hoping the dumpster situated a couple of storeys below us will catch it. Oh, it went in. But the shit had to scrape the building, leaving brown marks on the light paint scheme on its way there.

There's no way in hell we're owning up to it, and I don't even think we're suspects. We stay outdoors as much as possible, (in hopes that the spiders will eventually leave the building), they wouldn't think twice about us.

Wondering whether they're actually going to clean it

 

[IAMJUNGLEMUFFIN]

I have shat myself/been gross for the laughs before....anyone else done it for a joke?

Probably one of my best nights out at a club involved shitting myself

................................................etc

Mervelous. Life will never be the same for me again.

May God bless you sir.

 

[gareth36]

Let me say to anyone who thinks i made up these stories that is 100 percent false.

Let me say to anyone who thinks i stole the story from someone or somewhere else on ther internet that is not true either if anyone can possibly prove that i stole those stories( which you wont be able to as i have not stolen any of my stories) from someone or somewhere else i will gladly let you change my sig or username to whatever you want.


On the topic of spelling changes someone mentioned that was not me ripping off stories it was just my auto correct on my phone trying to screw with me so if you were to read back over the post you mentioned whoever you were thats why you will see the odd word that doesnt make sense.

Thank you.

PS: if you think you found a story wich i ripped off ( which you wont because they are all 100 percent true) PM me and i will look it over.

 

[Lance Uppercut]

Perfect, perfect timing.

I'm currently travelling the world with my best friend. We have been in an Argentinian hotel for the past couple days.

I probably should have looked up reviews instead of deciding where to stay on the spot, because this hotel is pretty shit. Bug-infested hole.

Anyway, we walk into the hotel, look around the place, and it seems okay ar first. Friend is busting to go toilet, and starts to run around looking for one. She rushes into the kitchen, and hanging right above her head are two of the biggest, hairiest, ugliest spiders we've ever seen!

I'm shit scared of spiders, but my friend is almost deathly afraid. So as you probably will guess, she shits her pants.

Not wanting to stink out the hotel, she takes off her shitfilled underwear and chucks it out our window, hoping the dumpster situated a couple of storeys below us will catch it. Oh, it went in. But the shit had to scrape the building, leaving brown marks on the light paint scheme on its way there.

There's no way in hell we're owning up to it, and I don't even think we're suspects. We stay outdoors as much as possible, (in hopes that the spiders will eventually leave the building), they wouldn't think twice about us.

Wondering whether they're actually going to clean it

"She"?

You don't hear about chicks shitting themselves too often. And she literally shat herself at the spiders? I thought that was usually a figure of speech

 

[HARPSichord]

Found this: http://www.truelad.com/story.php?id=274489

Reminds me of Gareth's story for some reason.

 

[quin_stick]

^Gareths was posted before that one

 

[Cruyff14]

It's identical, though.

 

[Mr Rafer]

Sneezed and farted at the same time. Needless to say... I shat myself

 

[quin_stick]

It's identical, though.

Uh so? Gareth couldnt have copied him if it was posted after he did unless I'm missing something

 

[HARPSichord]

Uh so? Gareth couldnt have copied him if it was posted after he did unless I'm missing something

It seems to have been collaborated by a variety of members on truelad.com.

So I don't know.

 

[gareth36]

Found this: http://www.truelad.com/story.php?id=274489

Reminds me of Gareth's story for some reason.

This was posted after mine it is a direct copy with a couple of words changed here and there.

It's identical, though.

It is almost word for word ill bet almost anything someone here on bigfooty copied it and then changed a couple of words And claimed it as their own.

Uh so? Gareth couldnt have copied him if it was posted after he did unless I'm missing something

Exactly someone as i said before has copied it and claimed it as their own
I have said it before and ill say it again my stories are 100 percent original and any you find like the one harps found will be a direct copy of mine on bigfooty with a couple of words changed.

 

[gareth36]

Its is not my story on www.truelad.com because they have added things in brackets and highlighted any word that the letters link up to make up the word lad.

 

[sabre_ac]

Learn't my coffee threshold at a work seminar a few years ago, had to abruptly leave and walk home as public transport and even a taxi were now out of the question.

 

[Cruyff14]

How can you shit yourself go often Gareth? Should probably go see someone about that.

 

[BotsMaster]

How can you shit yourself go often Gareth? Should probably go see someone about that.

Maybe he enjoys it?

 

[gareth36]

How can you shit yourself go often Gareth? Should probably go see someone about that.

These stroies are many months apart so its not like they all happened one day after another or even a week

Maybe he enjoys it?

I dont enjoy it because as you heard in my previous story i lost a good pair of pants.

 

[Cruyff14]

I've never shit myself, just saying.

 

[rustyg70]

Does Sharting count???

 

[bunsen burner]

I have a mate of a mate and his nickname is Poo. Even his parents call him Poo. So how did he earn this nickname?

When he was a teenager he was at home with his sister watching TV and his parents went out for dinner leaving him and his sister at home. As soon as they left he got out a lighter and was doing some blue flames. He pulled his pyjama pants down so he wouldn't burn them and let on rip. The first problem was it wasn't a fart. It was a big arse McNugget and it landed in the middle of the lounge room floor. The second problem was his Mum forgot the bottle of wine in the fridge and walked in.

He'd pulled up his pants when he heard the door and managed to compose himself except there was a big tiger shark in the middle of the floor.

So his Mum left her teenage kids on the couch watching TV, forgot something, went back inside about a minute later and there's big brown rock-eater sitting in the middle of the floor. wtf?

 

[raskolnikov]

I have two excellent stories

Mate 1

Gav. He's English and in club in Spain with his mates. Pissed. All of a sudden starts getting stomach pains. Goes to the mens. As per usual there's piss all over the seats. So he goes to the ladies. Ahh, nice a clean. He's spraying diahorea everywhere and two girls walk in. He can hear them saying "holy shit, that is ****ing gross!"

Gav is dead quiet sitting in the cubicle. He's thinking "surely they know this smells like a man's shit". Then one of the girls says "Are you alright in there?" And Gav puts on a fake girls voice and goes "I'm fine".

Time to wipe. No toilet paper. So he took his socks off, wiped his arse, and half flushed his socks.

He goes back into the bar area where his mates are and one of his mates striaght away notices his socks are missing.

This happened to me in Taiwan. I was at a club and having suffered from gastro all day felt the urgent need to go. I went into the men's but alas there was only a urinal so I had to go in the women's, which was just a single cubicle. My bum exploded as soon as I sat down and it smelt something awful. I was on the throne for about ten minutes. When I eventually crept out of the cubicle there was a line about ten girls long, all giving me dirty looks.

 

[carn tigez]

I have a mate of a mate and his nickname is Poo. Even his parents call him Poo. So how did he earn this nickname?

When he was a teenager he was at home with his sister watching TV and his parents went out for dinner leaving him and his sister at home. As soon as they left he got out a lighter and was doing some blue flames. He pulled his pyjama pants down so he wouldn't burn them and let on rip. The first problem was it wasn't a fart. It was a big arse McNugget and it landed in the middle of the lounge room floor. The second problem was his Mum forgot the bottle of wine in the fridge and walked in.

He'd pulled up his pants when he heard the door and managed to compose himself except there was a big tiger shark in the middle of the floor.

So his Mum left her teenage kids on the couch watching TV, forgot something, went back inside about a minute later and there's big brown rock-eater sitting in the middle of the floor. wtf?

Top 5 in the thread without doubt